Would You Give "change" Or A "credit" To
Decorating By kathik Updated 14 Jan 2007 , 6:12pm by Wita58
Okay, this is one of those situations where business and personal cross, and to be honest, I have never cared for this person. She is very wealthly and very influential in our community and unfortunately very snobby! She has always treated me as if I was second class (if that) and I have always avoided having anything to do with her because of it. Okay, now for the business part.
About 6 weeks ago she ordered some cookies from me. When I delivered them she only had a $20.00 bill and I didn't have any change because most people pay me by check. I told her I would bring her change in the morning to "drop-off" (our children attend the same school- of course it's the school her parents founded and my daughter is on scholarship! 
), but she told me to just credit it towards her next order. I really wasn't comfortable with this but my husband said not to worry about it. Well, since then I have had a number of situations with this person that continue to emphasize that she really views me in a "servant class". She even acted this way at my daughter's party last week and I just don't want to have any obligation towards her, even a measely $4. Plus, she hasn't commented whether she liked the cookies or ordered anything else.
Would you give her change back and explain that you want to clear your books or deal with the feelings and keep it on credit?
Thanks,
Kathi
I think I would just give her the change for the past order.
I woulndt want to be on a credit with someone like that. Next thing you know she will be asking for more cookies and expect the 4 bucks to cover cookies that cost a whole lot more. Give the change and say thank you.
Give it back gracefully and let that be the end of your dealings with her. There are far too many other people who will order from you that will appreciate you and your talent.
I would politely give her the change and then consider being "completely booked" the next time she calls for an order. Don't let her make you feel like a servant..... Hang in there!
If giving the money back will make you feel better and make you feel like you don't owe her, then that's what I would do. It sounds like this lady has a real problem, and she probably won't change if you do or don't give the money back. Your work is awesome, and she's the one who should be "second class" because she can't bake and decorate cookies!
Thanks everyone! I feel validated now. I'll be seeing her on Monday so I will return her $4.00 via a written check so I will have "proof" when it clears. I will just explain that as I have been setting up my business bookeeping I have discovered that maintaining a credit will complicate my monthly management and tax records.
I will be glad to not have that $4.00 over my head! And as many of you said, I think I will be conviently booked from now on! Let her order her cookies from New York or Baltimore from now on! 
Kathi
I would politely give her the change and then consider being "completely booked" the next time she calls for an order. Don't let her make you feel like a servant..... Hang in there!
I agree 100% 
Cheer up and don't let anybody make you feel like that! 
I do not agree.
Stop and think. If this person is someone in the community of importance you do not want her to bad mouth you all over the place, bad for business.
I can't deal with people who think they are better than me. Like my daughter's in-laws. That was on another thread.
Look at it this way. Don't give a rat's patudie what she thinks of you. Make money off her. I am sure she treats everyone that way. You deliver the items take the money and don't give her a second thought. If you do, she wins.
The $4 - I don't see why you don't leave it as it is - Next time she places an order and I'm sure she will, give her a price and let her know you deducted the $4 overage from the last order.
If I'm guessing right you want to make some extra money and have a business reputation around town. What you are considering will only insult her and result in hurting future orders. Then she wins.
I had a wise person tell me one time give a big smile and under your breath you can say *&$%#@. It will make you the better person and make you feel better.
Also, keep in mind any bad feelings that is harvest could reflect on your daughter.
Keep a good head and come out the winner.
Just take the $4 and on her next order charge her the same amount as you would have without the deduction. She'll think she got the deduction, but in reality, you win. 
Don't let her feel like she owns you. If you ever are satisfied with the number of orders you've booked and she wants to order from you, you can say, "Sorry [insert name], but I won't be able to service you because there are others in front of you," or something like that.
Like Janette says, she's a voice in the community and, unfortunately, your rep is in her hands at all times.
If you want some destructive psych tips, you can always PM me!
Okay Janette, can you tell me how to not care about her attitude??? 
I would certainly prefer to have her raving about my items even if she treats me like dirt. The cookies I made were supposedly her favorites (Black and Whites) and everyone has raved about them. I mean, there was a Rabbi from New York visiting our shul a couple of weeks ago and he asked if they were "Kathi xxxx's cookies" before deciding not to eat them (they were prepackaged). I had never even met this man! He had some at our Rabbi's house weeks before (same batch as this order) and now he won't eat any others! But she hasn't commented whether they were even acceptable. 
I think if I caould figure out how to deal with this person without coming away feeling like dirt it would make it a whole lot easier! I know that I have talents in a variety of areas that she doesn't, but that doesn't seem to help. So, how do you deal with this type of person without it affecting your feelings about yourself?
Kathi
Just take the $4 and on her next order charge her the same amount as you would have without the deduction. She'll think she got the deduction, but in reality, you win.
I definitely don't agree with that. It's essentially stealing her $4. You do need to stay professional about this, even if she can't.
I think everyone else is right on. Just send her back a check to "clear your books" and be very, very booked (and apologetic!) if she ever calls again. We all put our hearts and souls into the things we make, and to be honest, we don't make a lot of profit. Life is too short to be stressed out by this lady for such a small amount of money.
I know this type of person. She would rather fall over dead then to acknowledge how good your cookies were.
You know they were good and she knows they are good because it sounds like she is planning to order from you again.
As far as her treating you like dirt, I'm sure it's a reflection of the way she was brought up. It's called ingnorace (if I spelt right) and I feel sorry for her. Maybe some day she will wise up.
What makes her better then you? Money? Education? Backgournd? The only person I have ever found better then me was the person with the bigger heart.
You have the ball - it's up to you who wins
Hey, Nglez haven't seen you around in a while. Like your way of thinking with the $4.
nglez09, you must have posted at the same time I did. 
I understand your feelings, however I cannot allow anyone to make me act in a dishonest or immoral manner. No one is worth affecting my neshama (soul) in that way. If Kel is right and it's a joke, then I can appreciate that....I can think of all kinds of ways to respond (that I would NEVER actually do) like the old ex-lax trick, etc.
At any rate, I will have to give this more thought. I would certainly rather have her on my good side, I just don't quite know how to accomplish this. I have been very careful to be gracious when dealing with her, however, it just hasn't seemed to have an effect.
Kathi
I have to share this with you.
Someone use to take our lunches from the lunch table at work and eat them. One day I had taken chocolate pudding (this is the days before the snack puddings) and added a whole box of Ex-lax.
I don't know who got it that day (someone in another Dept. I would guess) but I'm sure they had an interesting night.
i think you should have listened to your husband and not worry about it and just gave the credit on her next order, and she will order. if she has influence in the community ask her for referrals and see how that goes. I bet she will ablige you. I don't know how old your daughter is, but i certainly wouldnt want her jeaporized in anyway if she thought she was being snubbed by you. she probably has some control over the schlarship that your daughter is on and if she really want to be a witch she may find a way pull it. If they can give it, they can take it away.
You sound like you want to win her over and you can. just my opinion.
Here's my 2c-I think it's important (and maybe this will help you reconcile your feelings about her) to look at this as a business relationship rather than a personal one. Even though your kids go to school together and may be friends that doesn't mean you have to be/are friends with her. Keep that in mind. This is probably how she looks at the relationship and is why she hasn't commented on the cookies. If she has ordered from you more than once you know she likes what you do. It is hard sometimes to separate the business and personal when it sounds like you see her often but maintain your professionalism and business face 
Give her credit on her next order like she asked. You aren't beholden to her. You are providing great customer service in a friendly, flexible manner!
I know. Don't you hate being such a good person? I know I do. I always have to retain myself from doing the evilest things. I would be such a great revenge-taker, but I don't do that. 
I guess she isn't treating you the right way and it's her problem. Make sure you let her know when you speak w/ her that it's HER problem and not yours. That SHE is the problem.
Whenever my brother goes coo-coo on me and starts [uh-oh] cursing at me, I'll ask, "Are you okay?" or "Sorry you feel that way." or "Did you have a bad day?"
Don't ever say "I" using the word "you" makes the person understand that he or she is the one who is causing problems.
Continue doing good deeds; in the end it is to He that she will have to pay dues.
Give her credit on her next order like she asked. You aren't beholden to her. You are providing great customer service in a friendly, flexible manner!
It could not have been said better. Some people would feel like you're enslaving yourself to her, but that explained it perfectly dodibug. Bravo!
Kathi
stay a professional. You can give her a choice next time you see her of a check or a certificate for the 4 dollars.
You have gotten good advice, by telling her that those 4.00 are creating havoc on your bookeeping and for her to do you a favor and take the 4.00 ( when you word it like this, it seems that they are doing you a big favor..lol)
then you can close this chapter.
It shows that you have integrity, and that you run your business like a professional. The only way to get on the good side of people like this is to earn their respect.
Good for you that you take care of your integrity!
Thanks dodibug. I guess I hadn't thought of it that way.
She has only ordered that one time, so she made the comment before tasting my product. She hasn't ordered again.
As for my daughter and the scholarship, she has nothing to do with it, doesn't know who gets scholarships, although she probably thinks she can guess. Even her parents have nothing to do with that part, so I have no worries about this affecting my daughter. 
At this point she doesn't know this is even bothering me. She knows she has a credit on her next order, I was just considering changing that and returning her money. I don't know, perhaps she doesn't even remember that she has a credit. I will be selling some special purim cookies soon, so maybe I will drop her a note (nice) reminding her that she has a credit if she would like to use it at that time. 
Kathi
Can you tell I used to work in sales? My old boss used to call me Switzerland because I always figued a way to be diplomatic-even with the clients he wanted to kill! Lucky me I always inherited those!
I was thinking, I have good friends that I've made cakes for that I don't hear back from if they liked it or not because they get busy, have lots going on, etc so I finally learned not to worry about it! Since they always "bug" me the next time they need a cake and then tell me the last one was good!
I think the idea of letting her know you are making these special cookies and asking her if she'd like to use her credit towards purchasing some of them is a wonderful idea.
Kathi, the only way she can make you feel "second class" is if you let her. I made up my mind long ago that no one was going to make me feel "second class" no matter how much money or prestige they have. They all put their pants on one leg at a time just like I do. There's may be $300 pants compared to my "Walmart priced" ones but they still go on one leg at a time! When I feel better about myself, I notice that I feel better about the way I feel about others and how they make me feel.
Someday these people who act so superior will answer for those actions.
Diane
Kat,
All these responses and you answered your own question. Dropping her a nice note. You are showing her you have class. For you to even ask for advice on this tells me you have class.
Dod,
More people should be like you.
Peace and Love makes the world a better place. Bitterness is a cancer that eats the soul. And cakes is pure joy
I would send a check to her. If you have to explain, then the reason is that you don't keep Accounts Receivable open. Once the product is delivered, it's paid for and your accounts are balanced. If she wants you to "open an account" for her to keep track of her credit, then where do you draw the line on ".....oh, I'm a little short. Well, just bill me for it on my next order."
Decide if you are a bookkeeper. Decide if you will open accounts and "run a tab" for people. Decide if you want to spend the time worrying about who owes you and who you owe. Decide if you want to get to the point where you are mailing out invoices with due dates and monthly statements of open balances.
I realize some of this is very exaggerated, but you'll be amazed how a little thing like this can snowball on you! Especially from those "high in the community" who think everyone is their servant.
Send her the check. Zero it out .
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