I am so sorry this has happened to your dd.

Just a couple of things I have learned from raising four boys.

1. Pinching is otherwise known as BATTERY. What are they going to do to a kindergartner in terms of consequence? Probably nothing but documentation, however, that will help in terms of a history.

2. The bus IS school property. On my son's bus, the offender has to sit with the bus driver, and if it continues, they will get kicked off the bus.

3. The school cannot be sued unless they witnessed something and looked the other way, and good luck proving that.

We told our kids when they were small that "he doesn't know how to be a friend". Then we talked about ways that our kids could help. Also, as with sexual harrassment, your child must tell the offender to STOP. We taught our sons to say, "You may NOT (touch, hit, name call) me. Please STOP"

Also, teach your daughter not to be alone. Bullies pick on kids that are by themselves. They rarely will call on a group.

Okay, don't stone me here... I DO think you need to file a complaint. I DO think you need to talk to the teacher... I DO think you need to talk to the bus driver (call the bus garage with the route number and leave a message). And if you talk to the parents... do it carefully. Be sure not to attack, but tell them what your dd feels like and work together to solve the problem.

Think about what you want to teach your child. There are bullies in every day ADULT life. At work, at the store, at the soccer game. What example do you want to set for everyone. Do you want to teach your dd to go in with guns blazing or to solve the problem so that she is better equiped to deal with every day life? Take a deep breath. If she is in kindergarten, it is only going to get worse. Wait until middle school. Save your biggest guns for the lions, and use a fly swatter on the flies.

Let your daughter know that she is not alone. Everyone gets bullied at some point. If you think about it, you will remember a time that it happened to you. It is NOT okay. Teach your dd to hold her head up high and be confident.

And LAST (finally) PRACTICE WITH HER. You be the bully and teach her words to say. Having that knowledge will make her more sure of herself and less likely to be a victim.

My God Michelle, your poor daughter. Unfortunately, it sounds like the bus driver doesn't intend to get involved. First, I'd talk to him/her tomorrow if you haven't done so already, if you get nowhere, contact the bus company management and file a complaint.

Than, I hate to advise this, but......I would talk to this boy's parents. You've spoken to the principal right?.......that didn't seem to work, so the only thing left is to speak to the parents and hopefully they won't be like their son.

My SIL is a teacher's aide in a 1st grade class. I was telling her about your dd and the bully. She was telling me about a boy in her class that punched the teacher in the face and broke the woman's glasses. My SIL was in the class and saw the entire incident, the teacher was leaning over his desk helping him w/ his work. When the principal asked him why he did that, he said because she's ugly. Turns out this boy's Mom just had twins and he's been violent with other kids and his parents since they were born. Probably for attention. My SIL also said his parents are so nice, she can't believe their son would act out like this. Well, the teacher is not sympathetic to his situation, and filed a police report.

Sometimes we can't count on the school administrators to handle these situations, some of them are just useless. I hope you can resolve this with this boy's parents in a civil way for your daughter's sake. (I know you'll be civil, it's them I'm concerned about)



Good luck.

The principal took Jonah out of class today and asked him if he did it, and he denied pinching her and blamed it on Justin. When she took Justin to her office and asked him if he pinched Lily, he asked if he could go home to think about it. She told him that he had to tell her right then, and he thought that he "may" have done it. Then, when it was time to get back on the bus to go home, the principal stood with Lily and had her point out the one who pinched her, and she thought it was Justin, not Jonah, but wasn't totally sure. WTH? These kids can quote a Dr. Seuss book or Spongebob episode word for word, but she can't identify the person who pinched her hard enough to leave a mark the next day? UGH. So the principal got on the bus and gave everyone a speech about using their kind words and keeping their hands to themselves, etc. We shall see what happens. I need to sleep on this.

Remember that is she in kindergarten. I can barely remember what I ate for dinner, let alone pick out someone from a line up. I have neices and nephews that I wouldn't recognize. (in my defense I have 50 neices and nephews. A lot like the number of kids on a school bus)

Not to mention the fact that the principal stood my Lily asking her to point to the kid that did it. Come on........even adults get to stand behind a 2 way mirror when pointing to their attacker. Sounds like this principal is clueless. Why would she put your daughter on the spot like that, in front of the very kids that are bullying her?

This is the principal's first year as a principal, I don't know what her background is.

I just hope that nothing else happens. I have made dd practice saying "Stop it! Do NOT touch me!!!!" over and over, though, so that she is confident saying it if someone else touches her.

Please document everything that happens. Everytime you call or email, what the response (or lack there of) is, who you speak to, everything. You never know when you will need it.

Alos, at this point I would move up the chain of command. Call the bus company directly and demand that the bus driver change her seat. I would also get the guidance counselor involved. If you don't feel like the principal is handling it well, I would get the superintendent involved.

You are the advocate for your child. Don't be afraid to be a pain in the a$$. Your child will thank you for it (someday!).

Please keep updating us

Michelle,

My jaw just hit the floor. I cannot believe that child hit her! I am seething for you. If this lazy principal won't get off their butt and actually do something, then you need to take it to the school board. March yourself down the street right now and tell your neighbor what their evil little kid did-friendly relations with neighbors is not as important as your daughter's safety-but I am sure you know that.

Sorry, just saw "pinched" and not "punched". Still, it isn't acceptable. Any type of physically aggressive contact is unacceptable.

I agree, Summer. Today I hope to find out what happened to the boys in regards to punishment.

Good luck! We are all behind you and your girl.

[quote="michellenj"]This is the principal's first year as a principal, I don't know what her background is. /quote]

This could explain why she would make your daughter point out the boy that pinched her right out in the open. She probably hasn't had a lot of experience handling these kind of things.

Hopefully Lily had a better day today. Let us know.

I hope things get better for your daughter and the bullying ends. I remember being bullied by a girl when I was in elementary school. She had about 6 inches and at least 20lbs. on me, and would pick on me because I was shy. Until the day my uncle, who was a cop, was on duty near my school. He walked up to the girl and asked her in a very nice way to please stop bugging me. He did it in front of all the other kids at recess, and I think it embarrassed her. She didn't look at me or bother me again, luckily. Unfortunately these days, he and the whole police department would be sued for harrassment of the "poor little girl"; never mind that she tormented me, another "poor little girl".

That is a great story. I wish that we had a family member in law enforcement.

So far, so good. It's been great for almost a week. All of the moms in the neighborhood are involved now, and interrogate their kids after school to see if any bullying has gone on.

I'd hate to admit this now, but it kind of gives you an idea of how some kids can think when bullied.

I was the new girl in high school (a freshman) and a senior made it her business to call me the "B" word every time I walked by her in the hall. I had no idea why she was so hostile towards me because I didn't even know her. I finally heard through the rumor mill she didn't like me because she thought I thought I was better than her...insert rolling of the eyes here. So this went on for about a month and one day at a football game she decided to push me "accidentally". Now, I was already resentful that my parents had moved me from New York to this "hick town" in Maryland so this chick actually touching me set off a fuse and I ended up punching her in the face. Thankfully, my sister and my best friend vouched that she had gotten physical with me first so I didn't get arrested, but this chick never touched or looked at me again.
I write all this to say, some kids at some point, get tired of being disrespected and picked on. I was a quiet, although strange acting, girl in high school so everyone was shocked when I flipped out, but it happens.