BUSINESS SUCCEDS WHEN FRIENDS AND FAMILY PAY FOR GOODS AND SERVICES. Period.
But I am hurting for money (isn't everyone these days), and I could never pay $90 for a cake myself.
I couldn't afford to pay that much for a cake either and that's why I started decorating classes. I wanted my DD's cakes to be awesome!!! The cakes are worth the extra money that is charged for them because soooo much is put into them.
My friend who is going through a hard time right now asked me to do a cake and said that she would pay me. I had decided that I would charge her slightly more than the cost of supplies . But she asked me again last week and said,"I'll pay you. Just let me know how much the supplies cost." It's stupid but it irked me that she assumed I wouldn't charge her beyond supplies. I am going to make it clear to her that I will do her, her DD, and her DH's bday cakes specifically at cost, none of their friends or relatives.
Come January I'm telling everyone it's full price or no cake! I'll make a freebie for my parents and that's it.
Like I said above, it's really a learning experience on how to handle friends and family and you really need to have a plan. When you were asked to make the cake, a price should have been quoted to her so that she could make the decision of whether the price was what she wanted to pay or not. If you agree to make the cake with no price quote or advance payment then that's when you get into a bind.
If you're going to sell high end cakes you have to believe in yourself and your work and unfortunatly you may have to turn business away. Stick to it though and you'll find your customer base. They are out there.
Thanks, everyone. I appreciate all the advice, and I will definitely form a plan from now on. I love the idea of asking "what is your budget?" for the cake from the get-go. I don't know where my self-confidence went, I honestly don't. I used to get top dollar for my cakes and I never batted an eye. I guess it's the economy...I think that because I'm strapped for money, so is everyone else.
My sister asked me to do her husbands bday cake. She wanted a cake that would have cost about $75 to make. I told her that I would normally charge about $225 for the cake she was wanting but since it is for her I would do if for cost. She couldn't beleive what the cost was. She then said what if I help to do it, yah right! My sister in law eloped, when they got back to town we had a small gathering I offered to do their cake as a gift. My sister was just a little peeved. I told her when I offer it is a gift when you ask it is an order. I used to take cakes/cupcakes to work all the time, especially when I wanted to try a new technique/recipe. Now everyones wants to know where is the cake? I tell them I will bring one when they order it and pay for it!
You really have to believe in your product, when you do people will pay for it!
Blue Devil - I have to say I agree with you! I am a woman and can not stand when other women play games to get what they want. I call it the "Lucille Ball Syndrome". Come on how many games did she play on Ricky instead of just saying hey I want....ARRGH!!!! I hate that! Now please I do not want anyone thinking I don't like Lucy, I do! I just don't like women who are like that.
Just wanted to add that when these family and friends are fortunate enough to get a great cake for free from us, I wish they would have the common decency to thank us.
I did my nephew's wedding cake on Sept 27th. ( I've done all my nieces/nephew's wedding cakes free too). I received the "Thank You" just this past weekend for the wedding gift, (yes, I stupidly also put $200 in a card besides the cake) I know slap me now 
Anyway, there was NO MENTION OF THE CAKE IN THE THANK YOU! 
I can't believe they never even thought to thank me for the cake that I would have sold for $450 to a paying client. I am fuming right now.
My sister who is a master seamstress basically had to "remake" the bride's gown because she thought she'd lose weight before the wedding and she didn't. She said she would have charged about $300 for the alterations but did it for free. They never thanked her either.
Is this the trend of young people today? This sense of entitlement?
Is this the trend of young people today? This sense of entitlement?
I'm 29 and I don't know whether to be offended by this or say now that you mention it.......
My sister is 37 and expects something for nothing but made me pay full price for a pair of $10 sunglasses. I never asked for a discount though b/c I don't expect one. Just using that as an example of the givers and the takers.
She half heartedly thanks me at least though.
kimmypooh79...........I definitely didn't mean to offend you or anyone for that matter. I shouldn't make a blanket statement about all young people today, because obviously I know that there are many many that are very appreciative of what people do for them. It just seems lately I'm not fortunate enough to know too many of these people.
My nephew and his new bride are 30 yrs. old, certainly old enough to know better. Not surprisingly, his Mom, my other sister, (not the seamstress), never thanked me either, so I guess in this instance it starts at home.
I guess I'm just hurt with the whole lot of them and don't really know how to handle it.
Sometimes I think when you give something away for free, it loses "value" in the recipient's mind. Maybe if I had charged them for the cake, they would have taken more notice of it. 
Not surprisingly, his Mom, my other sister, (not the seamstress), never thanked me either, so I guess in this instance it starts at home.
First, I'm fine so don't worry about it. Second, It does start at home. I just hope that my nieces and nephew have enough influence from other family members that they won't be so ungrateful...like my sister.
Sometimes I think when you give something away for free, it loses "value" in the recipient's mind. Maybe if I had charged them for the cake, they would have taken more notice of it.
I don't agree with this, at least for me. If you had made my cake I would have thought it to be that much more special. I'd love to have an aunt that loved me enough to make my wedding cake for free. Even if you did it at cost I'd be over the top. 
No offense to those that charge their families as I know some are just trying to avoid these awkward situations or just have family members that take advantage.
I use the following philosophy.....if I offer to make the cake, it's free; if I'm asked to make it, they pay for it.
If you offer it as a gift in hopes of the person then offering you money, consider who you are talking to. A lot of people consider it a very rude personal insult to the giver if you insist on paying for something that's offered as a gift. If you think they are being rude or taking advantage of you because they aren't falling all over themselves to offer you money, consider that they may think they'd be doing just that if they -did- offer to pay.
...also, maybe it's me, but WOW CarolynGwyn, that's gotta be one of the tackiest, childish things I've heard of someone doing in a long time. If one of my friends did that to me I'd never want anything to do with them ever again. I totally sympathize with the ones who ducked out or turned their nose up at you. There's a lot of better, more mature ways you could have dealt with the situation rather than throw your own passive-aggressive Martyr Party. Did you even try to talk to them about what happened first?
lol, teach me to reply before reading through a thread.........
I used to bring my class cakes and practice cakes, and left over cakes to work. I've taken the wilton classes at various times with different friends and stuff, so they had a decent supply of cake at work, lol.
Anyway.....I brought one in, about 5 or 6 months ago maybe, and was going to take it home with me before the weekend (whatever was left). Well, I went to get it out of the fridge, and found it in the trash!!!! At least 1/4 of the cake was left. They KNOW who does the cakes (there's only 8 of us here), and it peeved me that they didn't even bother to ASK if I wanted it or not.
I decided, they don't appreciate what goes into making the cake, so they're not getting anymore cake, AT ALL, FOR ANY REASON. My boss loves cake, so I may bring him a piece (he appreciates it at least).
..also, maybe it's me, but WOW CarolynGwyn, that's gotta be one of the tackiest, childish things I've heard of someone doing in a long time. If one of my friends did that to me I'd never want anything to do with them ever again. I totally sympathize with the ones who ducked out or turned their nose up at you. There's a lot of better, more mature ways you could have dealt with the situation rather than throw your own passive-aggressive Martyr Party. Did you even try to talk to them about what happened first?
I don't mean to make a personal attack on you CeeTee, not like your attack on CarolynGwyn, but if that is really how you would react then I think that at least some of the people here would agree that you weren't much of a friend to begin with. Sounds like they were users. There are some people that you can talk to til you are blue in the face and they just don't get it. So sometimes people have to go to this length to make a point to the clueless. At least this way there's no question why she charges and that there is more to it than just popping a cake into the oven then slapping some icing on it. I know I would have helped out and been more understanding. But hey...like you said, "maybe it's me."
Wow sounds like me. I'm a hairstylist and when I just started the whole family and friends were always over for free dues. Then scrapbooking, oh please help with my albums and let me borrow this and that ..for free of course, after all were friends. Now that I started doing cakes and baking other things now all of a sudden everyone wants to invite you to their function and by the way..... could you bring the cake? I guess I should go into gastroenterolgy, I'm pretty sure they won't want to discuss those things.
Wow sounds like me. I'm a hairstylist and when I just started the whole family and friends were always over for free dues. Then scrapbooking, oh please help with my albums and let me borrow this and that ..for free of course, after all were friends. Now that I started doing cakes and baking other things now all of a sudden everyone wants to invite you to their function and by the way..... could you bring the cake? I guess I should go into gastroenterolgy, I'm pretty sure they won't want to discuss those things.
I'm the original poster in this thread...and your response made me laugh 'cause I used to be a hairdresser too! And I did the same thing then, got taken advantage of because it was just a "service" after all. I have a real hard time saying "no" to anyone, and I know I need to grow a backbone. Loved your line about gastroenterolgy. Hilarious!
CarolynGwen: WOW, you did the right thing, I wish had your courage. If you just talked to them about it, they wouldn't have liked it, because nobody knows how much time, effort and cost each cake takes, unless they do it themselves, or see someone doing it.
I always welcome my close friends to see how I'm working, so all of them really appreciate my work, some of them even tried to help me decorate, needless to say, they failed.
cakedesigner59: Don't be hard on yourself, I've been there too. Some people are intimidating, even if they don't ask for a discount or for a free cake, you just find yourself doing it, and at the end you get mad at yourself for being so stupid, I went through this many times.
When I first started selling cakes, I used to take cakes with me to all my friends houses when I was invinted to lunch or dinner. One of those friends ordered a cake for her son's birthday, saying that she wanted to encourage me, of course, stupid me, I made it for free, AND i bought a gift for her son. The next year, she ordered cupcakes for his birthday, she wanted to take them to KG to celebrate the birthday. When her husband came to pick them up, my housemaid opened the door for him, he saw the bill on top of the box, he took the box, threw the money on the table and left!! I was in the house, but the maid didn't have the time to call me, and the man didn't have the decency to wait!!! Guess what, his wife didn't even call me. Since that day, NO MORE FREE CAKES for anyone. Now when I'm invited to friends houses, they still expect me to bring one of MY cakes, they never said it, but I could see it in their eyes. I just buy a cake from a bakery, and take it with me!!!
Sweettreats36 said:
But I think I will only offer to give another cake as a gift to the people I know understand what goes into the process.
So when can we all expect our cake gift? 
I don't mean to make a personal attack on you CeeTee, not like your attack on CarolynGwyn, but if that is really how you would react then I think that at least some of the people here would agree that you weren't much of a friend to begin with. Sounds like they were users. There are some people that you can talk to til you are blue in the face and they just don't get it. So sometimes people have to go to this length to make a point to the clueless. At least this way there's no question why she charges and that there is more to it than just popping a cake into the oven then slapping some icing on it. I know I would have helped out and been more understanding. But hey...like you said, "maybe it's me."
No worries, I'm not taking it personal. I don't assume things from my friends and if I ever accidentally do, they respect me and trust me enough to call me on it.
If CaorlynGwyn takes what I said personal, well, in a way I guess it is, but not as an all out attack on her character. She acted like a brat and is bragging about it, and worse, setting it as an example on how to deal with people. So I'm calling her out on her actions. She may otherwise be the nicest, sweetest person in the world, but in this one event she wasn't. (and it makes me sad to see how many people think what she did was clever or funny)
Real friends talk to each other and sort things out. Doesn't matter who was wrong to start, friends make it right with each other face to face and in a respectable manner. Playing games based on what's floating in the gossip mill still makes the one who threw the 'party' in the wrong. The one who sent the invitation was at best clueless and at worst uncouth, but that is never an excuse to pull a stunt like that in retaliation. It's better to be friends with someone who tells you to your face "Hey, you're being a jerk!" than spend time with someone who pretends to be nice then suddenly is nasty to you and never says why.
We don't know the back story or how the invitation was worded. It could very well be she was still invited, cake or no, or that it was a potluck-style party. Was there a precedence of her being asked to bring cake in the past and showing up with one, no questions asked? Did she make any attempt to find out why there was no reply to her question at any time before the party? Did she talk to the person and tell them "Hey, you hurt my feelings with the way you phrased that invite"?
I dunno...there's plenty of better ways to stand up for yourself than that.
CeeTee said:
Real friends talk to each other and sort things out.
Real friends wouldn't have behaved in such an appalling manner that would provoke such a reaction, which as far as i can see was more a sign of frustration rather than trying to get one over on people.
JMO
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