Matters Of The Heart

Lounge By bengals Updated 21 Oct 2008 , 10:09pm by michellenj

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bengals Posted 19 Oct 2008 , 4:19pm
post #1 of 8

HI everyone i am really in need of some advice,
I work as a nanny for a family in Dublin and was here for 9 mts when the mums brother kissed me i was shocked and had never seen him as anything other than the kids uncle until then but i kissed him back and we agreed to have some no strings attached fun (stupid i know) we only really seen each other once every couple of weeks as we live far apart but we went out of our way to see each other when we could and when we got time on our own we were almost like a real couple holding hands etc and we even causally spoke about children this went on until last month when we were left on our own in the sitting room and i tried to kiss him as we would normally and on two ocasions he has refused so i am now convinced that he is not interested in anything more when before all the signs were there he even left the bar one night to meet me at his mums house spend time with me then walk back to his own house a big thing for someone who would not normally walk the length of themself.

I have stupidly fallen in love with him and am gutted at the way his behaviour has changed towards me i was single for 4 1/2 years before our "agreement" and was planning on telling him at christmas time how i felt but i just don't understand why this has happend as the last time i seen him all was well we did'nt communicate inbetween times so i am confused and can't talk to anyone else about this as my best friend is his younger sister we are both adults (he is 32 me 2icon_cool.gif

Why and what from here
All advice greatly welcomed

7 replies
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Kiddiekakes Posted 19 Oct 2008 , 4:27pm
post #2 of 8

Well it sounds to me that he has gotten the fun and now he is done...

Here in Canada and the US they call it..."Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for Free"..Sorry that he has done this to you!! Maybe talk to him and see how he feels about you and the new relationship and where it might go from here! Good Luck!!

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-K8memphis Posted 19 Oct 2008 , 4:40pm
post #3 of 8

I'm sorry this has happened to you. It's gotta hurt. This type of behavior is the indicator for someone who does not care and is cavalier with your good feelings and tender heart. So it's better to get his cold shoulder now and wake up than to get it later after you invest more in him who is a turd.

He's doing you a favor--it's continuously painful to be close/intimate with a porcupine. So now you can start to get over the shock and get on with getting over him and evenutally move on. I'm sorry--I know it hurts so much.

(((giant hug)))

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dragonflydreams Posted 19 Oct 2008 , 6:17pm
post #4 of 8

. . . could be he's met someone else . . . could be he was nervous about 'getting caught in the act' (in the sitting room) . . . guess you'll never know for sure unless you ask him to explain his actions . . . or maybe it's just time to move on . . . sorry you're going through this ((hugs)) . . .

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melissablack Posted 20 Oct 2008 , 5:36am
post #5 of 8

Maybe he was just looking for a physical relationship, and all the other 'sweet, couple-like' stuff was just him trying to sweet-talk you into bed or whatever.... Then perhaps he is not looking for a serious relationship and thinks that by just pulling away from you, he is hurting you less than actually telling you this.
I know it hurts a lot icon_sad.gif I have been through stuff like this and I'm sure most of us have at some sucks!!

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bengals Posted 20 Oct 2008 , 5:53pm
post #6 of 8

Thank you all for taking time to give me your advice i am not going to approach him unless i have to through work related matters i'm sure my mister right is out there somewhere

Thanks again icon_smile.gif

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punkinpie Posted 20 Oct 2008 , 7:58pm
post #7 of 8
Originally Posted by dragonflydreams

. . . could be he was nervous about 'getting caught in the act' (in the sitting room) . . . guess you'll never know for sure unless you ask him to explain his actions .

I was wonderign the same thing as I read your post I would definitely ask him about it, otherwise you will always wonder.

Matters of the heart are always hard and asking him will be difficult. I would say to yourself - worse case scenario it is what I think and I will know for sure - then take a deep breathe and ask away.

I really really hope it works out for you.

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michellenj Posted 21 Oct 2008 , 10:09pm
post #8 of 8

We've all been similar situations. Just try to forget him, and if you see him again act as normally as you possible can.

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