I had my 3 kids by the time I was 30. They must have aged me because I don't get the "young' comments anymore. There was a time though when I just had my first 2 and was in the grocery store. Some old man walked by me and said, "Babysitting, huh?" I was thinking, "Yeah, for the next 18 years!"

i am Mexican and the town i live in has a high number of minorities on government programs so i get looks quit often as well. i am 30 years old with two children that are 7 and 11. i graduated a year early from high school and went to college and in the fall i am going to go to la cordon bleu in Austin. i am married to my "baby daddy" and we have been together for 13 years. he owns his own business and we live comfortably, but people don't see that. they see a young Mexican mother of two who must be on welfare. is it fair? hell no its not. but that is the world we live in.

i am sorry this happened to you but maybe it is so we can all learn. when we see an interracial couple or a young mother or a mother with lots of children or a car going into an abortion clinic parking lot, maybe we should stop and think before we give dirty looks. i mention the abortion clinic parking lot because the Dr. office where i use to get my birth control merged with a local abortion clinic. the last time i went to get my pills from there, there were people protesting outside screaming "you have another choice" well i was just getting my pills. but i never went back.

The OP was told by a woman that Planned Parenthood had help for girls in her situation-well maybe that woman should have been told that Etiquette Class has help for women in her situation.
Good grief-what ever happened to "judge not?"

I looked a lot younger that I was, and heard comments like that all the time when my kids were little, and I had my first child at 28 and my second at 30.

When my daughter was eight and was criticized, she just shrugged and said, "Oh well, they have a right to their opinion no matter how stupid it is." I use that as a little motto in my own life and it stops me from saying some real funny but sarcastic stuff that pops into my head. My friends often complain because someone will make a comment and they can't think of anything to say-Oh if only THAT was my problem!

No kids yet, but we are trying. We have the same situation, just diffent. My husband has tattoos...lots of tattoos. He has one arm sleeved and is working on the other, back of his neck and both legs. Also has 1 inch plugs on his ears. We are always getting looks. I have 7 tattoos, just all "hideable". We have always joked that we are going to put fake tattoos on our baby, then see what kid of looks we get!!! I am also short, and can't wait to see how I handle being preganant. We are just one big happy family!!

You name it and I've heard it.


I had 4 kids in 5 years. I'm young looking for my age (in fact someone saw me with my 4 today and asked me how old I was.)
When I was prego with #1, I was 21 years old (delivered 2 days before I turned 22). I use to come home in tears because of all the horrid things people would say.
I was in JCPenny with my mom and I was waiting for her in the restroom and these 2 ladies, a mother and daughter, walked past. Well they must of thought I walked out of the bathroom, while instead I was waiting for my mom. As loud as you can get one says "Did you see that 13 year old girl who was pregnant? How loose was she?"
I just started crying and yelled "I'm 21 and married."

I've been asked a lot are those all of YOUR kids? Do they all have the same daddy?
The worst comment I've heard (5x total) Your getting an abortion right?
That's the one that hurt the wurst when I was pregnant with my kids.


Now when I'm out I just get the comment (every single time without fail)
"wow, you got your hands full!"
I just always smile and say "Well, God only gives you what you can handle. He knows others (as I smile evil looking at them) can't handle it."
*I can hardly handle it either somedays but they don't need to know that.

I try not to judge people at all, especially by how they look. It frosts my cookies when this happens.

I commend all you ladies with babies, infact i'm kinda envious. I think its great that you have decided to have babies young and choose motherhood for a career. I'm 28 and still waiting for my first to come along. My husband and I are the path there but we still figure another 2-3 years so that we are in a decent position so that i will be able to stop working once little ones come. Working in the corporate world I have never hid the fact that I want childern but it certinaly is something that many other female coworkers don't always see eye to eye with me on, espically those climbing the corporate ladder.
If i had my way i would of had children at 20 and quite happiliy been a stay at home mom with 15 children, so I say hold you heads high when you get those nasty looks and comments, you have been given what I feel to be the greatest gift in life, a child. I think its ridicouls the way we need to hide our womenhood not that long ago it wasn't uncommon to have children that young, infact look at all the health problems that arise from older pregnancies. I mean my mom had 7 children by 30 and 2 more after that.
Ok i'm done my rant now, this is just a topic that hits very close to home for me, i just recently turned 28 and 28 was my internal age i wanted to have a child by so its been a rough couple of weeks for me, infact i've refused to turn 28 i'm 27, 11months and 15 days old lol
Thanks for listening, i think i just need to rant
Mel

People are very ignorant...I have an aunt (by marriage) who called me one day and said "I'm not trying to be in ur business or anything (really since when) but are u pregnant?" I was 20 at the time...I said yes I am and then she starts with the speech about how children are this and that....anyway, I know that she was talking crap about me to her daughters who she believe could do no wrong. She said that i was going to be a bad mother, that her kids were going to be better than me blah blah blah. First of all her oldest daughter, for the life of her cannot get a man because she is so clingy...she had gotten pregnant in high school by a guy that her mom thought wasn't worthy enough so she made her get an abortion, then about a year later she got pregnant again but this time from a married man who was a longshoreman...so her mom was telling her to keep the baby because this man had money R U Kidding me My whole pregnancy this lady talked so much crap about me saying that my son's father was not going to stick around just like my father didn't stick around My son's father, who by the way is now my husband we've been together for 9 years now, was there for every single doctors appointment, every late night craving, every pain, every tear and every mood swing...he was there. He was there holding my hand throughout my whole 26 hours of labor. I shut her @$$ up. She's always had something to say about every girl who got pregnant in my family at a young age. Now her youngest daughter pregnant at 20 is in the same boat as I was years ago but her mom just makes it seem like she's above the rest of us. She had a shot gun wedding and the grooms mother and father openly expressed at the wedding that they had never met her before and that they thought the wedding was a big mistake Ok, but from what my aunt and cousin tells everyone, she grew up with him and his mother adores her....Thats not what the grooms mother said at the wedding she basically said, I don't know u and I don't want you marrying my son....

I told her one day what makes your daughter's situation different from mine? We were both the same age when we got pregnant, same s@#t, different toilet the only thing is, is that my mother in law actually knows and loves me Every one in my family thinks that her mother told her to purposely get pregnant

You know I think ignorance is in the water. I had 3 kids by the time I was 29 and I was 22 when I have my first. I get dirty looks all the time when I pick my daughter up from school. Most of the mothers up there are either in there late 30's or early 40's. I don't see anything wrong with having a family when you are young. Last time I checked it was my choice to have kids, even in my 20's. Just because I didn't wait until later should not make me a bad person. I've pi$$ed off most of them though, because I am a very vocal person. I don't put up with people's stuff and I am not afraid to tell them. I had one woman give me a dirty look as she walked past my vehicle. I got out of my truck and asked her "I'm sorry, do you have a problem?!" Needless to say she hurried up to the school and she wouldn't look at me ever again. Serves her right.

As for having any more kids unfortunately I can not. I had my tubes tied with my last child. I've had preeclampsia with all 3 of my pregnancies and the last time I got hospitalized for 2 weeks because of it. My Dr advised me that it would be in my best interest to not have anymore. So no more kids for me.

My current favorite comment that I'm getting, now that we have a seven year old, a three year old, and a four week old, is "You guys are done now, right??" I never know what to say. I usually say "I'd never say never..." or something like that, but people act like they can't believe a married couple would want to have three or more children. I know it's not for everyone, but, geez, mind your own freakin' business!!

I got married at 19, everyone was SO sure I was pregnant. When I did get pregnant with my 1st, an idiot who hadn't seen me since the wedding told me "I KNEW you were PG" uh that was 4 YEARS ago! People are not pregnant for years on end!

My sister (6yrs younger) was in High School when my 1st was a toddler. My toddler adored her, so when I was visiting one afternoon she took her with her to the school to pick up some forms. No less than FOUR school personnel made horribly, horribly rude comments about her being a teenage mother!

Few years later I had custody of my lil brother (12yrs younger) while my parents were out of town and I got him to school late. Left him and kids in the car while I got a late slip. On my way out of the office, the security guard tried to KEEP me. Said he couldn't allow students to leave without a pass and refused to believe that the 2 kids yelling MOMMY from my car were mine and that I really was NOT a student and he was making my brother who was with the kids even later for school! My brother finally brought boh kids and my DL over. Principal of the school got an earful from me that day.

I was 17 when I graduated high school and got married, 19 when I had my first child and 22 when my twins came along. I don't think all the rude people were born yet. I don't remember ever getting rude comments, although people couldn't help but do a double take when I was pg with my twins. I was gigantic, all out front and no clue there were two in there. That was 1973, back when women were modest during pregnancy and we wore shirts that actually covered our tummies. I wanted my children around 2 years apart so they'd be good companions for each other. My mother criticizes my niece for having her babies a year apart, forgetting she had 5 kids in 8 years herself and most of us to hold onto a man who wasn't worth having. It's so darn easy to criticize others. You just have to ignore the morons who make the cruel or out of line comments. They aren't worth getting riled up over. I'm with Debi, use very few words and stare them down. Life is just too short, know what I mean?

Hey watch it MamaBerry , I'm a Christian midwest grandma!! LOL

Much of society today has an in your face attitude where people seem to be saying "here it is, and if your don't like it too bad!" It's a shame because when that attitude comes in modesty and privacy and often dignity go out.

I have the just the opposite problem.

My hubby and I have no kids yet and have been married for 7 years.

I get comments all the time from people asking my why do I not have kids, I'm turning 31.

They have the nerve to tell me, "I'm not getting any younger" or "Couples who don't have kids are very selfish people" or "You're gonna be really old by the time your kids graduate high school", and my personal favorite, "You are denying your husband of a child". (I'm denying him?!?!?)

The worst part is, these comments go on daily from my co-workers, my family and friends have no problem with it..

I am so shocked that people have the nerve to say stuff like that!!!! I get so upset, I can't even think of a good response to say.

I use the get the "evil" eye. I am 24 years have triplets turning 5 years old. Other family friends were shocked my husband and I got married young at 18. Well, I finished my Accounting degree at 21, I am a CPA and also completed my MBA in Economics. We did not have any babysitters to help us. My DH worked full time at Columbia University while getting his degree at night. At 25 years old he is completing his PHD and whill be teaching at UCLA

I took classes via Internet and Weekends while my husband watched the kids.

I cringed whene my parents and his parents told us we were losers to marry young.

One of my friends was pregnant at 16 years old,had twins and at 25 years old she completed her M.D. at USC. She is a surgeon.. Her husband worked full time and watched the kids while she was in school. Now her husband ifinished his Computer science/Accounting degree at National Univeristy and was offered a full time Business Analyst job with Dept. of Defense in SOcal. He is sudying for his CPA.

I want to have at least 2 more kids before 35 years old. If we are financially able to support our kids on our own I feel it our business.

yourstrulytx

I haven't read any other responses yet. I will be 34 this December, my eldest will be 16 the following month. LOL my eldest son is turning 14 this month. My middle daughter just turned 10 in July, my other son turned 8 in February, my youngest daughter will be 5 in December.

Yes I have 5 kids and I hate all the don't you know what tv is for? jokes.

I was together with their dad from the time I was 16 til we split in October of 2004. Yes, we got married after our first daughter was born and he is the dad to ALL Of them. I wouldn't of left except for the fact that he became very abusive to all of us. We divorced in July of 2005. He passed on last August, 2007.

I have since remarried in April of 2006 and we are all very happy.

I always hate the whole thing because of the divorce I always feel like I have to explain myself. It's like you see a lady with 5 kids and she is just recently married to this new guy and it almost makes me feel like to people who just heard it that I am some chick who hops around with all kinds of different guys and has a kid by each. I hate that. The only two guys I have ever been with were my ex husband and Joe, my husband.

I was at a birthday party for my aunt recently and someone said oh wow you have 5 kids? My new husband was also mentioned so I tried to casually say, "Yes, they were all with my ex. He recently passed on."

Meaning all the kids are my ex husbands and mine. But I guess I shouldn't say that either because the next question was, "Oh they lived with him?"

Uggghhhhh!!! Congrats now I look even worse. Like some mom who is so terrible that the man got custody in the divorce!!! LOL

SO I had to explain, "No I have always had custody. I meant they are all his kids too."

Good grief!

Then I have one neighbour who heard that Joe and I want to have another one in the future and was like, "Oh my, give your body a rest!!!"

Ummm...I haven't had a kid in almost 5 years!!! LOL This is what our body's were designed to do.

I am 24 years with 5 year old triplet girls. I would like to have 2 or three mor kids. If my DH and I want a large family that is our business. I commend all mothers with one or 10 children. You are the best. If you work full time or are a stay at home you should be proud being a parent.

If you do not want kids or have any kids that is ok too. I feel when I couple decides to have children or not it is their business.

After reading through this post so many things said hit home. I am 26 and found out last week that my BF and I are expecting our first child. We have heard everything in the last 8 1/2 yrs we've been together from "you're being selfish not to have kids" "when are you getting married" "what's wrong with your relationship that you aren't married and have kids yet?" Seriously???

I think the worst thing that we heard this last week was from his grandma "you're getting married before the kid is born right? otherwise the child isn't legal" umm... what? how does a marriage license make a kid legal or not? Her reasoning was that the kid would have a better life. This is right in front of his sister who got married young has three kids and divorced last year. And what does marriage do for the child? If the parents are happy and love the child then what does it matter? We have our own views on marriage that a lot of our family doesn't and a lot just don't understand... but thankfully we also have a great support system of the ones who do and who applaud us for not giving into "pressure" from the rest of the family/friends and do what we want.

we are thrilled to be expecting, being able to purchase our first home (which we have been looking for awhile, just waiting for the one), I just started a new position in the same company on the 1st (one that will even allow me to work part time at home while pregnant or on leave -- which is a bonus!) He has a successful business of his own and also works full time at the same employeer I do. It has been quite an eventful year for us, but who can't be happy with where we are in our lives.

I think my biggest pet peeve of people asking "when are you going to have kids" is how do you know we can? I have so many times wanted to say that and if someone asked me at the right time I think I would have. For all they know is the people that don't have kids can't medically possibly even have them. Heck just last september I was afraid we wouldn't be able to and that was another issue in itself.

As to the OP, I just don't understand how some of these people can forget so soon, it wasn't that many generations ago that women were getting married at 16/17 and had families of 8 or 10 by their mid to late 20's.

Sorry for the long and radom vent, but a lot of areas on this issue get to me... some people just need to learn to mind their own business. Although I have been getting better with coming back with smart remarks that usually keep people quite (and speechless)

Oh Congrats Leily!! I wish you a healthy and happy pregnancy!