Why Won't People Control Their Kids???!???

Decorating By sadiepix Updated 23 Jul 2008 , 4:11am by OCakes

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alisoncooks Posted 8 Jul 2008 , 6:51pm
post #61 of 128

I'll throw in my 2 cents. I have declined numerous invites because they were events that would've extended past my little ones' bedtimes. I cannot afford to hire a sitter (kids around here ask $20/hour...that's what I made as a college grad!!!) so that's the choice I had to make. I chose to have children and I realize that for these early years I have to make sacrifices. End of story. I can count on one hand the # of times my 2 year old has been outside of our house past her 8:00 bedtime...and we certainly weren't with her at a nice restaurant...PULEEEEZE....I don't care how sweet your little angel is...every little one is a crank when they're too tired.

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ArtieTs Posted 8 Jul 2008 , 7:15pm
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OMG!!! these are very funny to read but also very true. This reminds me of the time I was in a Walgreens drug store & from the time I walked in the door all I could hear was this MOTHER & I use the word loosley screaming from the top of her lungs RICO!!!! mind you she was at the front counter in between yells talking to a sales clerk. I kid you not that lady screamed for ole RICO over 20 times in a matter of 5 minutes. The whole time I'm thinking to myself well, Damn! is Rico still in the store? has little Rico been abducted? I got scared. Not once did she leave that counter to go look for her kid. Unbeleivable!! After another 5 minutes & just went to go find Rico myself & he was in the toy isle on his knees rolling hot wheels around like he was in the neighborhood park. I got right down on the floor at eye level with Rico & asked him " Is your name Rico" he nodded yes & I politley told him to get his butt to the front of the store your mom is calling you. Long story short, Rico never took his butt to his mom & she contined to stand there like a retard & scream his name until I left the store & mind you I told her that he was in the back of the store playing with toys & she just smiled & nodded. Who knows, Lil rico might still be there playing & her screaming his name like a NUT. It boggles the mind the things people do & don't do with & about their kids icon_mad.gif I had my son so in check when he was little all I had to say to him when he looked like he might cut up in public is "DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE YOU TO THE RESTROOM?" Problem solved, to this day he should be afraid of public restrooms but he is very well behaved, polite & personable & you only get that from home training which from what I have seen latley is no longer being offered.

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Ruby2uesday Posted 8 Jul 2008 , 10:18pm
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ArtieT's. My mom and i call those people... Walmart People! LOL (don't get offended, that's really all i have here in my little town so i go there 20 times a week! LOL anyway, walmart people are "Rico's Mom". lol I took my 3 dogs to the vet the other weekend (HUGE feet with 2 Great Danes at 180lbs ea and a mutt at 80lbs!) I took my goofy dane and mutt in together. OMG when i was taking them out, my "little" one slipped out of her collar in the waiting room and i'm scrambling to get her back on the lead and hold my big one at the same time. I looked at the people in the waiting room and said, "Man, dont' i feel like the parent at walmart w/ the crappy kids" LOL

My son, THANK GOODNESS, is very well behaved... but i am not so niave to think that he probably doesn't show his butt every now and then, like i've been told.... He might be your angel, but he's no angel! LOL

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indydebi Posted 8 Jul 2008 , 10:33pm
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Observed this in a KMart some years ago.....

4 year old was VERY tired. Mom was trying to convince her to "git in this cart!" Now first, how does a 4 year old "git in" a cart unless mom picks her up and puts her there? 4 year old was crying, "I wanna wahhhhhhlk! I wanna wahhhhhhlk!"

Redneck Mama was doing the gritting-her-teeth, talking in that very LOUD whisper that isn't a whisper at all, nose to nose with this kid, commanding her "GIT IN THIS CART.... RAT NOW!" (those unversed in the language of poor-a$$ redneck, "Rat now" means "right now" icon_rolleyes.gif ).

After 2-3 minutes of this back and forth .... Git in this cart ... I wanna waaaalk ... git in this cart ... I wanna waaaaalk! .... mama FINALLY says to this little girl....

"Don't you make a scene!!!"

I almost laughed out loud and peed my pants at the same time! Mama doesn't want the FOUR YEAR OLD to "make a scene", while she's standing there arguing with a 4 year old in that really loud whisper and getting the attention of EVERYONE around her? icon_confused.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

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Ruby2uesday Posted 8 Jul 2008 , 10:40pm
post #65 of 128

Deb, are you sure you're not down here in Louisiana???? lol

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butterflywings Posted 8 Jul 2008 , 10:40pm
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ok... Alisoncooks... I'm not that far from pittsboro, and I have two teenager sitters (one just graduated highschool, the other is 15) they both get paid $7/hr and are more than happy with that. any teenager that thinks she/he is going to get $20 an hour to sit with my kids is NUTS. i don't even make $20/hr as a freakin' preschool teacher.. so i don't THINK SO.

sorry, that freaked me out a bit

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MomLittr Posted 8 Jul 2008 , 10:57pm
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It is sad that everywhere you go there are kids that are not being paid attention to by their parents..............the same folks who would scream bloody murder if anyone took their precious baby by the hand and walked away............mom and dad never seem to pay attention, and never enforce any sort of discipline. Frustrates me when a woman cannont control one or two little children (who in my opinion should ALWAYS be in the shopping cart). When mine were little, I could take all five of them to a store and never once had to yell or chase them..........they just knew better. Time for parents to be parents, not just the children's friends.

ok, I am off the soapbox.... icon_lol.gif


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YAYI95 Posted 8 Jul 2008 , 10:58pm
post #68 of 128

ArtieT's....LOL...I use the "Do you want me to take you to the bathroom" phrase too and they would straighten up...Now I have the look my mom had for us...My older ones get the "LOOK", i stare with my evil eye and they quiet down..I laugh because I have 4 sisters and I think I am the only who has perfected the LOOK and use it on all of our kids...LOL

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michellenj Posted 8 Jul 2008 , 11:08pm
post #69 of 128

$20 an hour? icon_eek.gif Babysitters have got it good in NC.

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moxey2000 Posted 8 Jul 2008 , 11:19pm
post #70 of 128

A few years ago I got yelled at big time by a woman who was distracted and didn't notice her kid was running in the street outside of the daycare. She was mad at me because I retrieved him icon_confused.gif . Not thankful, mad...go figure. A few weeks later the same kid ran across the highway at a soccer game and caused an accident and almost got hit by a car. The Mom had been looking all hateful at me just minutes prior to hearing the tires screeching (guess that's what distracted her icon_rolleyes.gif ) and then ran screaming after her child. I couldn't help but feel a little smug about that one icon_rolleyes.gif .

Kids need limits and boundaries, examples of good behavior, and consistency. I think it's sad that other mothers laugh at me because I remind my kids every day how they are expected to behave...then I sit and watch those same mothers get all frustrated and stressed out because their kids won't listen to them and they behave badly tapedshut.gif . My kids aren't perfect by any means, but they're also not difficult to be around. They know my rules of discipline by heart...firm, fair, and consistent thumbs_up.gif !

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nicj389 Posted 8 Jul 2008 , 11:25pm
post #71 of 128

As much as I hate to admit it, my children are not always on their best behavior when I have to take them to the store with me. Not for lack of discipline. They just happen to see a world of possibilities when put into that environment. Especially Walmart (OMG!!) I'm the type though that will remove my children from the situation if it gets out of hand. I don't think that other shoppers should have to pay for my child's antics or meltdowns.

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Lady_Phoenix Posted 8 Jul 2008 , 11:26pm
post #72 of 128
Originally Posted by Mike1394

Originally Posted by chutzpah

Stupid people shouldn't breed.

The problem with that, stupid people don't know there stupid


Which is why stupidity should be physically painful!

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thems_my_kids Posted 8 Jul 2008 , 11:48pm
post #73 of 128

My DH just told me the other day that a lady at church complimented our children on their behavior. She lives here half of the year and in FL the other half, so she doesn't really know us. Then in the next breath she said, "Their mother must be strict!" LOL! My MIL said to take it as a compliment because she's German.

It's my philosophy to keep kids on a tight reign with they are young because you can let it out as they grow older, but you can't pull it back in!

I'm glad things worked out and your friend was very nice to give them her cake. Very classy indeed!

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indydebi Posted 8 Jul 2008 , 11:51pm
post #74 of 128
Originally Posted by thems_my_kids

It's my philosophy to keep kids on a tight reign with they are young because you can let it out as they grow older, but you can't pull it back in!

I knew a lady who believed (and actually said to me): "If I let them do everything they want, and have everything they want when they are little, then they won't want anything else when they're older."

Yeah..... we laughed, too! Especially as we watched her little darlings grow up to be holy terrors with police records!

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michellesArt Posted 8 Jul 2008 , 11:51pm
post #75 of 128

i want to share that i just attended a family wedding with my just turning 4 tomorrow daughter. i was a bit nervous but with between my dh, my father and stepmother i was really impressed. mind you she only stayed at the reception until 9pm (1 hour past her bedtime) but she behaved very well. there were only 2 other younger girls and they all behaved very well. after dinner, the staff found crayons and colouring books and they had a blast. my family at the wedding including the bride and groom commented on how well all the girls were-the bride even gave the girls a turn to wear her veil (they looked just adorable). my hubbie and i are very active on keeping up good behaviour and if she had begun to act up one of us would have taken her back to the hotel immidiately. i was happy we could all (not just me and dh) enjoy the special day

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superstar Posted 9 Jul 2008 , 12:13am
post #76 of 128

I have a big problem with the lack of discipline & training.

It is easy to be a bad parent, you just have the child & let him/her do whatever they like. It is much harder to be a good parent & teach children what is acceptable & what is not. If children do not learn from day one that there is a line you do not cross, how do parents expect their children to grow up knowing right from wrong.Discipline, teaching & making sure your child is doing the right thing is part of being a parent. I do admire your friend for her loving kindess. I think I would have been more likely to have told the parents what I thought of them, they are the problem they have not done their job. I also shudder when I hear a parent saying I want to be their friend. You can be a parent or you can be a friend, you can't be both until your child is grown up.

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alisoncooks Posted 9 Jul 2008 , 12:20am
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Originally Posted by butterflywings

ok... Alisoncooks... I'm not that far from pittsboro, and I have two teenager sitters (one just graduated highschool, the other is 15) they both get paid $7/hr and are more than happy with that. any teenager that thinks she/he is going to get $20 an hour to sit with my kids is NUTS. i don't even make $20/hr as a freakin' preschool teacher.. so i don't THINK SO.

sorry, that freaked me out a bit

Oh, don't I know it! DH and I were quoted $20/hr by a college student/friend and we were like "What!?!" And we only had the one kid at the time! We would've paid more for the sitter than for our whole "date." Which is why cheapie me is clawing at the door eager for escape after 2 years of being trapped in the house with little ones icon_biggrin.gif. Who knows, maybe when I finally get a "grown-up" night out, I may be the "rico" with my DH trying to chase me down as I run crazy around "the walmarts" (as my granddad says).

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indydebi Posted 9 Jul 2008 , 12:25am
post #78 of 128
Originally Posted by alisoncooks

DH and I were quoted $20/hr by a college student/friend

Oh, that's just your typical "I am a college Grad-U-Wait and I deserve top dollar for any of my services!"

This little girl is in for a rude awakening when she hits the REAL job market!

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missmeg Posted 9 Jul 2008 , 3:01pm
post #79 of 128
Originally Posted by sadiepix

I can' never figure why kids that young need to be at a wedding/reception anyway. They are bored, don't know why they are there, and in so many cases act up and make things miserable for others.

When I told some friends my wedding was to be kid free I actually got shocked stares! Why? It is a grown-up party, not a Chuckie-Cheese.

I don't think it's fair to make such a blanket statement like that.

I attended my niece's wedding 2 weeks ago with my children, ages 5 and 7. The bride's new nieces were there, ages 5, 3, and 1. All five children behaved appropriately, had a great time, and were the life of the party! None of them threw a tantrum, a napkin, or put a finger near the cake (not my cake, either).

Some children can act appropriately at those kinds of events. Others are more spirited and don't do well at formal occasions. But not all kids act bad at weddings.

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veronica720 Posted 9 Jul 2008 , 3:13pm
post #80 of 128

My children also behave very well in formal occasions, but I wouldn't think twice if someone said the event was to be kid free. Some kids just don't behave at all and I can see why the bride wouldn't want them ruining her wedding. Also if there is going to be alcohol, that would be more of a reason for some to say no kids allowed.

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bethola Posted 9 Jul 2008 , 3:13pm
post #81 of 128

I haven't read every post but will respond to the original question.

Parents don't discipline their children because they don't want to squelch their imagination and individuality.

Having said that....uhhhhh....let's just say there is a reason people liked being around my children. It was DISCIPLINE!

Your friend handled that situation so well. I agree with indydebi. My fav part of the whole story was when the MIL yelled at the parents!

Beth in KY

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smoore Posted 9 Jul 2008 , 3:14pm
post #82 of 128

Sounds like the problem the original OP is really trying to say is it's not the kids that are an issue, it's the parents. If they did their job consistently, their kids would know boundaries and how to behave in any circumstance. In the words of the Umpa Loompas .... "Who is to blame if the kid is a brat? The mother and the father!" Honestly, I feel sorry for these kids! The parents don't care enough to discipline and want to be their kids friends instead of their parents .... the kids need parents! This being said from someone with a 9 and 6 year old who attended a wedding with us last weekend. They sat still through the service and had no elbows on the table during the reception ... and they even had fun!

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margaretb Posted 9 Jul 2008 , 3:29pm
post #83 of 128

I'm one of those people who pretty much don't go to anything that is "no kids". I'm a little taken aback by the poster who stated that it is disrepectful to decline an invitation that does not include kids. Perhaps you have the misapprehension that it is easy or affordable to find a sitter. It is not, at least not where I live. When you tell me "no kids", you are pretty much telling me a minimum of an extra hour driving to pick up/drop off the sitter before and after the event (with kids in tow) and a hundred bucks. If a sitter is even available. Plus I'm one of those people who actually hates to be away from my kids. Some people have no problem leaving their kids, and that's great for them, but I get those mother bear feelings about being seperated from them. Maybe it will be different when they are in school, but for now, that's the way it is. So for me, at least, arranging a sitter has a cost in time, money and stress. I wouldn't suggest that kids should be permitted for my convenience, but that means that unless the event is very special, I probably will not choose to pay the costs of attending.

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HBcakes Posted 9 Jul 2008 , 3:35pm
post #84 of 128

Discipline is definitely a challenge, especially when you get in public, but is CERTAINLY ACHIEVABLE if parents TRY. My kids are 4,3,1 and I can say I don't have that kind of trouble that they would go put their hands in someone else's cake or be that rowdy cause they know that wouldn't fly with us. Last weekend I heard that some little kid had put their hands in a wedding cake I delivered, before the bride had gotten her pictures with it even, but atleast I was able to relax and know that kid's not my problem. It's unfortunate that kids create that issue at such happy occasions, but like we say, you gotta start with the parents; each parent knows whether they should really just get a babysitter instead of putting others through their "presence" icon_smile.gif

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staten93 Posted 9 Jul 2008 , 3:53pm
post #85 of 128

Bravo to your friend for being so kind and thoughtful to the bride and groom. They will always remember their wedding day and the wonderful lady who came to the rescue when the cakes were sent toppling. Good customer service is rare indeed, but she went above and beyond that and I am glad that it was recognized and rewarded. thumbs_up.gif
My family went to a wedding last year that was in the early evening and kids were included. The bride and groom wanted everyone to enjoy their time and set up a kids area. There were small picnic tables, bubbles, toys and arts and crafts available to the kids. They had hired a neighbors daughter to oversee things. I commented to my friend, the MOB what a great idea. She said they had gone to the Dollar Tree and picked up $20 worth of stuff to make it easier for the parents and so the kids would have something to do at the reception. I know not everyone can do that, but I thought it was a great idea. However, if my kids starting running around acting crazy they know the fun would have ended and we would be marching their butts to the car and heading home. You can have fun, but still have discipline.

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ccr03 Posted 9 Jul 2008 , 4:04pm
post #86 of 128

I have a question for all/anyone who wants to answer.

I'm Mexican (woo-hoo! icon_smile.gif ) and my family is from a very small village in Mexico but a LARGE portion of it is here. Our weddings are informal where the whole family - kids and all - go. Example, at my sister's wedding 11 years ago we had 500-700 people at the dance, maybe 300-400 for the food. And since it's the same 'circle' of friends (because we're all from the same village) all the kids just run around and play with each. Yeah, there are the kids that are mean and really misbehave, but I guess for the post part the reception part of the wedding if like a big party.

So here's my question, is it a cultural thing where Americans don't want kids at wedding receptions? Like I couldn't imagine a wedding reception without kids.

Oh, and just a bit of a tidbit, at all the 'village' weddings I've been to, the kids have never knocked over a cake or damaged it in a severe way.

I've only been to one American wedding and it was a co-worker's daughter earlier this year.

Just curious.....

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veronica720 Posted 9 Jul 2008 , 4:43pm
post #87 of 128

It is not that Americans don't want children at the weddings at all. I would love for my kids to be everywhere with me, but I know my cousin doesn't really like children so I can see her saying no kids allowed.
Also maybe some couples know ahead time that some of the kids in their family or their friends family don't behave and instead of telling them not to bring their kids they just simply say no kids at all.
I have never been to an event that said no kids, but I have still decided sometimes it would be best if they didn't attend. Not for behavior issues but because I knew there would be a lot of drinking and I didn't want them around that.

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mariela_ms Posted 9 Jul 2008 , 4:51pm
post #88 of 128

I don't think it's a cultural thing. I'm Mexican too, and I live right on the border. So I have alot of family here in the US and in Mexico still. And I think most of the wedding I've been too, ask for no kids on their invitations.

I think I did too. But of course..whether they listen to you or not...that is a whole other story. I had a big wedding....300-400 people....I hated it. And I think the kids running around was the least of my worries.

Either way...when I go to these kind of events I try to find a sitter for my almost 2 year old. He's not gonna enjoy, get fussy, and then we'll be having to run around after him....therefore not enjoying the event ourselves...so no point in taking him.

I think if you do take your kids...you should really keep an eye on them. I mean...its not about your kids, its about the bride and groom. I think out of respect you should try to give them the best day possible.

I admire the action of the decorator. She basically saved them! I hope those parents got to paid for the mess they did!

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ccr03 Posted 9 Jul 2008 , 5:01pm
post #89 of 128

hmmm, maybe it's a 'village' thing for us then. icon_confused.gif

plus, I guess my view on weddings is a bit different. Like yeah, it's about the couple, but I see it more are the ceremony being about the couple and the reception being a celebration of the love. I also don't like being the center of attention, so I wouldn't want everyone 'fawning' over me on my wedding day.

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Aliwis000 Posted 9 Jul 2008 , 5:08pm
post #90 of 128

It sad these days, parents just dont want to be parents, they want to either be their kids best friend or find it easier to ignore bad behavior then to confront it. There are 4 kids in my family and we knew that when out in public we behavied or else a swift pop to the tush was not far behind.

My little brother is 11 and a type one diabetic and when his blood sugar is off he gets upset, angery, sad etc, he cant help it, its chemicals in his body causeing it. But my parents work with him at understanding this and being able to calm himself down. Different situations/kids call for different actions but no action from parents is never going to lead anywhere good.

PS Your friend is a saint!

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