Well ....like everyone has stated ..You were and are very generous!!! I would not have done those for $50.00 ingredient fee...You can't even get butter for less than $3.99 a pound and you would need a fair amount for 350 cookies.I would say that your obligation of a gift is fulfilled.I would buy a nice card.....and say very tactfully and politely "Best wishes on your special day" My gift to you is the Special cookies in which I took great time and care to prepare them especially for You"...That would be it from me!!!

I think a card is perfect - with a lovely sentiment written inside.

Someone earlier suggested buying a small picture frame....OK - how about a frame with a photo of the cookie inside?

OR...

Type up a bill without prices - and PAID IN FULL across the page.

OR...

The Wedding of our Dreams....$Thousands$
Decadent, Melt-in-your-mouth, Hand-Decorated Cookies - PRICELESS

And then repeat after me..."I will not allow others to make me feel guilt"


Good luck with all of this!!!!!
Lish

to me, the cookies are the gift. No other money needed.

Personally, I was one of those who could never say, "No"! The only person that was hurt doing "cakes for family weddings", etc. was me. I am still waiting for a thank you note from last June, 2007, from a bride who is a church family member. Her wedding for 150 was held at a bed and breakfast with horrible conditions; the family was supposed to help (no one did); and I ended up catering the whole wedding, food and all. I stayed and cleaned up everything and did not even get a thank you. That is when I stopped being the "Oh, Lutie will do it. She loves doing that stuff" to "She is outrageously expensive, but you get what you pay for...".

Do not... do not... do not give a gift. You gave already of your time, your talents, your family time, and your health.

Did I tell you about the wedding I did three months ago for 125 people? For their gift, I made and paid for (plus served) my special punch for the wedding. No thank you note at all to this day. I did notice that their cake had been bought at WalMart by the cake decorator (who is a lady who works in our church kitchen and supposedly "bakes" cakes) and passed it off as being her own. When I saw the invoice sitting on the counter in the kitchen, I asked the "cake decorator" who made the cake. Her daughter piped up, "Oh, I got it at WalMart". She then presented an invoice to the bride, even though she was supposed to have given her the cake as a present. I bet she got a "thank you note".

People will use you if you let them. I, no longer, will allow that to happen to me. Please learn from my mistakes and heed the advice others are giving you. You are worth more than you think you are.

Wow, I guess everyone has family/friends like that, huh? Those cookies were awesome! I would be honored to receive them as a gift! I'd say your gift obligation has been fulfilled

Be prepared though. I made a wedding cake for one of my oldest friends-nothing fancy at all but she loved it and everyone raved how delicious it was.
2 days later the maid of honor called me and asked if I had given a gift because they couldn't find one from me.
I said the cake was expensive to make and that was my gift to her.

Still makes me mad that she had the MOH call.

I seriously have to add something else here...

family/friends that can't appreciate whatever you give them be it a $1500 gift of cookies or a pencil sharpener should be ashamed. Just because you get married doesn't mean everyone and their dog should buy them something! People have seriously turned greedy in this day and age! Used to a wedding would be a celebration of love...where everyone pitched in for food & drink so there was a great party....no strings attached. Personally I would rather receive something somebody put some thought into than a toaster from walmart but I'd never tell them that!

I love the idea of a picture frame with a picture of the cookie inside-that would say it all.

From the shape of that cutter I am going to guess it is a minimum of 3" I charge $1/inch and then an additional $1/bag, if you bought the ribbon then it would be the cost +15% (I only offer curling ribbon for the $1/bag)

So 315 cookies x $4 = $1260 for 3" cookies
and since she didn't originally have you bagging and you had to make additonal runs I would consider it a change order and charge a PITA fee. plus she added on the cards... they are just a pain to do... but at least she provided it.

315 x $5 = $1575 for 4" cookies

To answer your question though... a $1000 + wedding gift is more than expected in my opinion. Put nicely in a card (i like the framed picture idea) like suggested in previous post and you should be good.

I think jkalman said it best ... you made the cookies, they can bag the f'krs! Print this out and tape it by your phone!!

This story should be submitted to www.etiquettehell.com !
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Ok, I have GREAT family members! I just did my nephews wedding yesterday (nephew on hubby's side .... I do nephew on MY side next Friday!). My gift to them is the wedding cake .... value $450. I also am doing (for both nephews) the food at cost. They paid me $700 for the food .... value at full price = $3000. I even paid the staff of 3 out of my own pocket, so add another $150 as my "donation".

Did I give them a wrapped gift? HECK NO! Did they expect one from me? Double-Heck no! Did they appreciate the value and time and effort? Absolutely!!

I share this just to show that not ALL family members are a$$es ... sometimes we have some good ones out there.

But I also have a family policy: "I will give you a reception as a gift and a significant cost savings. If I get a Bridezilla attitude .... YOU get an invoice for the full price!"

And if it's not that hard to throw a cookie in a bag, then they can do it! I mean, it's not that hard, right??

I just made cookies similar (three tiers, no heart) and charged $3.50 each bagged and tagged. I believe a card with a nice message about the cookies to remind them of your gift (maybe even include a picture of the cookies if you took one with a little note about 'hope you enjoyed your gift') is plenty. I hope they aren't expecting another gift and I hope you stop feeling guilty!

If you and your husband are at odds with what to do, please print this thread for HIM. I understand men especially do not like conflict within the family. Sometimes they simply underestimate the worth of what their wives are doing because the wives are SO incredible, they make it look easy. Please let him see how much the rest of us would charge to do what you have done and probably made it look simple. I'm sure he is a really great guy and will become enlightened (and shocked!!) at the going price of your wonderful gift.

Then, do not give anything else. Good luck with this situation and with your new baby. You deserve a massage and if the family has some sense they will give you one as a thank you.