You poor thing. I use to be the same way when it came to family and close friends. A few months back after my final being taken for granted cake was finished I finally emailed all my friends and family and told them in a nice way that my cake prices were going up due to increased gas and grocery prices and that I would NO longer be donating or doing cakes for cost or free. I did it in a nice way and also included my price list for them to see. I used some great examples off this website in my email to better explain why: I go to a gas station and see the price is $4.00 per gallon. I go to the clerk and say I want this for cost or reduced? The clerk proceeds to tell 'me' the cost is the same for EVERYONE. I also used the example for getting your hair dye/colored. The ingredients might cost the hair dresser $15 but you pay her $100 or more? why? because you are paying for her time and talent.
Thankfully I didn't get any 'bad' replies (LOL to my face anyways) - I got support and have still been getting orders except now they PAY me what I charge or I do don't mess with them.
It might be worth a shot for you to try something like this in a 'non' judgemental way - it worked for me. LOL sorry to ramble...
Also, a good thing to keep in mind regarding the Wal-Mart mentality is that people don't expect to go to Cheesecake Factory and get McDonald's prices, but for some reason, they think they will get gourmet, beautiful cakes that way. Remind them that you are not, in fact, McDonald's.
Oh that is a good one!! 
Let play Silly Consumer! "Hamburger is just ground steak, then shouldn't my steak cost less than my hamburger, since you saved all that time and labor by NOT grinding the meat up? I mean, it's all just dead cow!" 
I think part of the problem is that we presume that because we know what things cost and what our time is worth, that others will as well and when we're confronted with the fact that they're most often woefully uneducated, we take it personally and get upset and think, "But they should know better!" They don't, so unless we want to keep dealing with this, they have to be informed, and not after the fact, before you turn on your oven. Unfortunately, you can't always assume that someone will do the right thing, but you can help nudge them in the right direction. And don't beat yourself up, I reckon we've all found this out the hard way.
Can you imagine going into a supermarket, filling up your cart, going to checkout and tossing a twenty at the clerk with a, "Heya doll 
, you get to keep what's left over, aren't I generous?" 
Silly folk
You're a fabulous sister in law, by the way, great cake 
I so understand where your coming from, my sister in law had her daughter call me and ask me to do the cake for her communion, for 120 people. Its the white cake in my pics. I charged her down to the cake boards. 115.00 for all that cake and she complained, she thinks charged her regular price.... I asked her how much her wedding cake was and she told me 600+ so i asked her how many people was that for and she quickly shut her mouth.... lol
Your first two baby shower cakes posted are outstanding. ... It's to our advantage to educate non-cake people as to the price it cost to bake...scratch and mix! I believe it's an eye opener for most people when they see the final tally!!! Good luck with this one! Cheers
Thanks everyone for all of your kind words. It sure helps to talk to all of you. I know you're all right about the walmart mentality, they know that they can get a cake for 20 dollars there. Not a tiered cake though, so she should have realized. I just emailed her and asked how the party went, hadn't heard anything from her. She said that everyone loved the cake, it made me wonder why she didn't email me and tell me that. I thought maybe they didn't like it or something. It is so easy to email a thank you these days, and I just think its rude not to do so. She knew I had the flu and did this favor for her, when I didn't feel like it at all. I just thought she could have let me know how everything went. I am so thankful when someone does me a favor, so I don't think they realize how much work it is. Oh well, then you have people that are so thankful, it makes it all worthwhile. Thanks everyone, you guys are so special, it really helps to be able to talk to you all.
Simple really.....
When I talk cars with my cars- it is cheap, good mileage dependable.
When I talk sex- it is responsibility, love, babies, STDs, condoms.
When I talk cakes/ ingredients-it is fondant prices, chocolate prices, cake board prices.
In other words, when the conversation starts with, "I was hoping you could make me...." I IMMEDIATELY follow with, "You may no realize but________ (and I follow with a list of ingredients and expenses".
My kids used to "volunteer" my chocolate chip coffee cake and didn't understand the difference between the 99 cent box cake and my coffee cake. My scratch cake is 1 cup sour cream, 2 sticks of real butter, a bag of chocolate chips, real vanilla, eggs, etc. Just a "sheet" cake, but decadent.
If you don't tell them, they don't know. No one can appreciate a "favor" if they don't understand the costs and time. 
PS. I think "cost only" cakes are for immediately family only, once each per year.
WOW Cathyscakes, I feel so much better! I thought I was the only one who couldn't find "NO" in my vocabulary..............I just started doing this because I wanted to make cakes for my daughter and I ended up doing the same thing as you!!! I have one friend in particular that EXPECTS her daughters cakes (the castle cake I have loaded) to be done each year. Her daughter just turned four in April, so four free cakes..........then she wanted her sisters wedding cake done, and no sooner had I finished that one in May she tells me her cousin is having a baby and she wants me to do the shower cake the first weekend in June!!! That castle cake and the leather wedding cake cost me a bundle! I used a TON of fondant on that western cake and then re-did it because I was ticked and didn't feel like putting any effort into it the first time I applied the fondant and then freaked out the next day and did it over at the last minute because a whole wedding party was going to be looking at it. I told my husband I was selling all of my supplies and getting out of the cake decorating business (NOT THAT ITS A BUSINESS B/C I HAVE EVER BEEN PAID)!!!
Finally I got fed up and told my friend NO MORE CAKES. I told her I'd give her my cake recipe that she loves, I'd give her my icing recipe and I'd help her apply the final decorations but I WAS NOT MAKING the cake. I know she loves me no mater what, I just hate to disappoint anyone but enough is enough. You will know when its time to say no, hang in there. Next time just think of the nice outfit, necklace, shoes, etc that you can buy yourself if you just manage to pull that one little bity word out of your head and bring it out your mouth. I'm already planning what I'm going to spend my fifty or so bucks on that I save next weekend by not making that shower cake!!!
BEST OF LUCK FROM A FELLOW SUCKER!!!
debo, and don't you like the way they try to schmooze ya with the "oh, but they want YOUR cake! (for free!)" and "everyone just loves your cakes! (because they're free)" or "everyone will be so excited to know YOU are doing the cake (for free)".
Do ya see a pattern here?
I had a relative who tried that with me on a wedding cake. My calendar conflict could NOT be changed and she tried the "but she really wants YOU to do the cake!" (uh .... for free!).
Yep, and the friend that I said "No" to for next weekend came to my daughters birthday dinner last night and while sitting there at the dinner table she said "Hey, I took off next Saturday so I can be at your house early to make the cake"............OMG........what part of NO do people not get. I said "Your coming to MY house to bake YOUR cake????" and she said "Yyyeeaaahhh, I need hheelllppp".........my husband said "we are going to be out of town".......... The whole point was for me NOT to have to get up at 6:30 am and be in my kitchen baking all day! I have a teeny tiny oven and can do ONE cake at a time. This one is going to have a sheet cake and two eight inch on top (baby cake) so that is at least three hours she is going to be in my kitchen. AND she has a four year old that I'm SURE will not be left at home. I decided this morning that I am making her a list of ingrediants to bring (including the fondant I use that I can only get an hour from here!!) and maybe eventually she will get that it not only takes me HOURS to bake this stuff, but my all butter icing, good fondant, and other misc. ingrediants are not cheap! GEEZZZ, I am soooo frustrated! I was so in shock I couldn't even think of something to say to her when she said all of that.
I'd like to buy a cake like that for $20! I agree with what everyone says. You need to talk to her, and this goes for me too because my sil is the same way. She'll tell me Oh, they're having a bake sell over here and I signed you up to donate stuff, or can you make a cake for blah blah blah...." I don't get along with her very well. But, seriously what's the worse than can happen if you tell her "hey, you! Not so fast." It's not like you can stop being in laws (unfortunatly for me). And if she gets mad then you can start focusing your time that you have into your business.
It's unfortunate but true, that family members and friends usually take our cake decorating artistry for granted, they have no idea how much work and effort go into making even the smallest of cakes...
Congratulation on your beautiful cake, if I were you, I would just absorb the difference of what she gave you and count that God will bless you for your charity and provide you with a future paying customer as a gift.
And for future orders from family, I would inform them of the material cost before hand to avoid any future discrepency. This has helped me with my family and friends...
Take care,
Letty
My sister just called and said she is having a party on Saturday and asked if she had to pay for her sweets. Before I could answer "YES" she said, "oh I'll pay." like she is doing me a favor. Too funny. Well at least I will get paid. This is a first for her or anyone in my immediate family.
Well, I just got a call from my baby shower friend and after I sent her a list of ingrediants hoping she would now see how much money I spend on JUST supplies (the rough estimate for fondant + cake supplies was about $50) and she tells me she just got her mother to buy the list of items and her dad is going to Sugarland so he will pick up the fondant! AARRGGHH, she will never understand the cost now! AANNDD she tells me that she won't be able to get off until noon on Saturday and then says "but it won't take long to do it right??"...........well, I'm not touching one single thing until she steps in the door!
cathyscakes,
I know exactly what you are going through. I did a cake a couple of weeks ago for a baby shower. I was asked to do the cake on a Monday for a cake due on that Friday. I made the pieces on Tuesday and Wednesday, took off Friday from work to finish it. Everyone loved the cake, couldn't believe I could do what I did got a huge hug for it, pat on the back and that was it!
I didn't say anything either 
I know I only have myself to blame for this. I just don't feel comfortable talking to people about what to charge but at the same time I can't keep paying out all this money to make cakes and not put anything back in the bank.
My "backbone" us under construction right now as we speak!
The cake I'm talking about is the first one in my photos.
I read how much people love the CakeBoss software. I checked out the website and I think I might have to invest in it.
Cathy,
You aren't alone out there in the twilight cake zone 
People who do not bake really have no idea about the cost of basic ingredients. I agree w/ all of the other posters about educating them. I've been asked to supply celebration cakes at work (which I have done for a cost, to my own shame, that barely covers ingredient costs) but I've always quoted the price I would in reality have charged when I deliver it. (so they know what a killer price they got) Last cake I was asked to make was for a bridal shower at work. I told them I would charge $35 for it (lingerie box) to cover ingredients and was told later, "not to worry about doing it." That was fine w/ me! I've finally gotten to the point I'd rather have the extra time w/ my kids and husband than to spend my own time and money on a cake order that I'm doing as a favor for people I barely know.
I encourage you to email your SIL w/ a little invoice of the cost of ingredients to get the additional $15. If you don't inform her then she (and other family members) will stay under the delusion that $20 was more than enough to cover your costs of that gorgeous masterpiece. Also quote what you would have charged an actual customer so she'll know what she got. ie "Retail price: $100 (or whatever.. I don't know the # of servings) Family discount $100"
Good luck and keep us posted!
Melanie Mc.
I had a good friend of mine tell me a few months ago..If you really like doing cakes you should just charge for the cost, what's that like 12 dollars or so? Yeah right! That would barely cover my gas to get to the store to get supplies. Another thing people don't consider when buying a cake from Walmart is Walmart doesn't deliver! It makes me soo mad when people assume it's just liek snapping my fingers to make a cake. I am going to do a recipe list to give to family members and close friends and have then get the ingredients!! I loved that idea!!!!Thanks to whoever posted it!!
My SIL called me a few nights ago wanting ideas and such, I told her to get online just like I would have done to be inspired!! Than I was like, Well do you want me to make the cake or just help with ideas? She said..get this...Well I'll help you make it. #1 I like to be alone in theh kitchen when I decorate. #2 We all know that was just a lame attempt to get me to do and buy everything. Guess what my response was... Well you can google some cakes and see what you come up with, good luck on that! This is not the first time she has expected me to do something for her and sthen acts like it's no big deal and that she "could of done ie" So we'll see next w/e what she come up with! She called me back and said she was just gonna make cup cakes and put stickers on top of them!!!! I told g=her I hope she was going to at least put them on pop sicle sticks or something and not just put the sticker directly on the cup cakes...EWW! Sorry for my rant but I feel the same way and I'm tired of it also!! Oh and to make matters worse, after just getting through telling my MIL that I cOULD NOT keep making a ll the cakes so cheap she calls me and says "Well I'm gonna "LET" you make David (her hubby's) bday cake. In my mind I thought...if you only knew LOL and a few weeks before I WILL give her the list and make her bring them to me. he he he
Well, It's 11:45 and we JUST finished the baby shower cake. I'm tired but glad its done. He turned out cute (I uploaded a pic) although by the time we finished I was all out of energy to do the shells on the edge so they look more like blobs.......Oh, well, We did have some really funny moments during this whole ordeal and laughed like two high school girls so I guess in the end she learned it does not just take a couple of hours (and I really did not lift a finger until she got here) to do a cake and laughed a little and I did manage to take a step towards growing a spine. All in good time I guess.
With a couple of people - in the family I have had them go buy everything on the list to go make the cake - even if that includes a bottle of oil and dozen eggs for the cake I am doing for them - even when you don't use it all. At least they get the point as to how much "cost" is and face it you never are truley compensated for the time it took. Especially if you are as slow as I am........ It was cool, this weekend I did a graduation - golf themed cake 12 x 18 and told them I had just under $25.00 in the cake and they could give me whatever they wanted for doing the cake - it was someone my husband works with and I didn't know what to charge or what they would be expecting to be charged.....anyway he gave me $50.00. I could have never told him $50, I would have probably said $35 or $40 a the most. So I was really pleased!
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