I'm sorry---I went back in to edit a word I mispelled & I've deleted my post!! Arrrgh!! Anyway, thanks for the answers I've received. You all have helped a lot already. I'll let you know when I finally decide to do.

OH my goodness do I feel your pain! I'm waiting for the day when I'm in your predicament! I say if you don't want to do the cake, don't..... but if you decide to do it, CHARGE FOR IT! That's a lot of your time, not too mention on top of a full time job! I would think it would be easy to explain to them that you MUST charge them something (even if it's slightly discounted) because of the complexity! Good luck, whatever you decide to do, and let us know how it comes out!

Hun, even though it's family, you need to do what you feel is right in your heart; whether it's to make the cake and be resentful for being put into this position or just saying "no, I really can't commit to doing this right now." and then refer them to another baker in the area.
You just have to do what you feel is right. Sometimes that isn't always what others want to hear.
Sometimes it's ok to say no. I just had this scenario pop into my head sheesh, don't you just hate when that happens.......next thing ya know yer making freebies for 2nd cousins twice removed by marriage. O well, If that were me, I would say "sorry hun" no can do. but here's a bakery that would be more than happy to help ya."

Holy Cow! What a spot to be in. If you decide to make the cake and have to take a day off work to do it, then the very least you should be paid is for the time you take off from a paying job and the ingredients. That is the very least. I see no reason to feel obligated to make the cake. You have to do it because you want to, there's some pleasure in it for you, not just the pain and time involved. Bless you heart. I wish you a very Merry Christmas.

Personally, I would say NO.

First of all, whether you have made free cakes for family or not, they haven't even asked you! They are assuming you will just do it. I don't care who they are, they have no right to assume anything.

Second, she eloped. What is the point of having a big church wedding later?

Personally, I would estimate how much you would charge a normal customer, including the pay for a day's worth of work (since you would have to take a vacation day) and be prepared to quote that price. I would in no way back down in order to keep peace. It's not worth the headache that you know it will become.

My personal opinion is that she chose to elope! It seems to me that an elopement is usually to avoid a big wedding. Now it sounds like she wants the best of both worlds...well guess what...she's a grown, married woman, if she wants it, she should pay for it!

Good luck,
Kathi

kathik hit the nail on the head in my opinion! Couldn't have said it any better!