...If you invite a card to The Whoever Family, then the family is invited! You have to put Mr and Mrs Whoever for just adults. Right?
The outer envelope is addressed to "Mr. & Mrs. John Smith". On the inner envelope you write the specific people who are invited to the wedding .... "John & Mary" means just mom & dad. "John, Mary, Teddy, Sally, and Bupkis" means John & Mary can bring their 3 kids.
... ADAMANT on NO CHILDREN being allowed to the wedding at all. They failed, however, to put this bit of information on the invitations,... My mother-in-law told her son this, but he just said that he doesn't think anyone will bring them, and if they do, they won't be allowed inside...
I think the newlyweds are going to start off their marriage with a lot fewer friends if they turn people away who brought their kids. You have to tell people that upfront. A lot of people will buy a new outfit just for the wedding, get their hair done then spend a lot in gas and drive time only to be turned away. I would not advise that.
We did not want children at our wedding/reception and we clearly stated "adults only" on the invitation and also the individual names on the inner envelope.
My son turned 7 at the end of September, and we had 6 kids from his class show up who didn't rsvp...that was very annoying! The doorbell just kept ringing, and all those parents dropped their kids off...didn't know me from Adam! One acted annoyed when we asked for a cell phone number in case they needed to be reached. Luckily, I had extra gift bag stuff that I had bought just in case and just didn't open until I knew we would need it. I always plan for siblings and have enough food for the adults. I am not leaving my 7 and 5 year olds at a birthday party unless I know the adults very well, but I'm even a little leary then too only becuae during parties the parents have tons of other stuff running thru their heads. I think it's rude not to feed the parents...they're only trying to be responsible. I would also never make them take a sibling home, and I usually ask how many will be attneding when they rsvp.
[quote="mbelgard"]LadyDZA I would have gotten knocked up just to upset her. 
If I was a "good baby-carrier" I would! But with both of them I was on bed-rest, had them both premature, and the last one I had to take a pill every 4 hours to stop contractions for the last two months!! So if it wasn't such a risk, we totally would!!
I am, however, considering chopping all my hair off and spiking it up and having it dyed bright pink or something. She's very set on us all wearing our hair up the same way. If I was a more spiteful person, I just might do that. I used to always do fun neat things with my hair when I was younger! I'm a tad more conservative now that I'm a mommy! ...The family is really all just waiting for something to go wrong and her explode on her wedding day, like you said. Because in her mind, everything HAS to be perfect and if something goes wrong, she's gonna lose it.
Adonis, The way you guys stated it on your invitation that it was Adults Only is EXACTLY what they SHOULD have done! 
I wish some people had the good common sense that you guys do! This wedding is 3 hours or more from all of the grooms family, so you're completely right in thinking that there will be some pissed off people when they get told they cant bring their kids in. To quote the bride, the reason they dont want children there, is because "I want everyone's full attention on ME, not on the cute baby in the second row."
To quote the bride, the reason they dont want children there, is because "I want everyone's full attention on ME, not on the cute baby in the second row."
OMG 
Bring your video camera to this event because it's a Bridezilla episode in the making!
Families drive 3 hours with kids in tow. Families are told kids must stay outside. Families reply "Bull SH**!!!" and haul kiddies in anyway. Other parents, who left their kids at home with a sitter are now pi$$ed off because "why were MY kids not allowed but THEIR kids are!?" Bride in a shambles because everyone is talking about the kids and not her.
oh god PLEAZZZZZZZE figure out how to get me inside of this Jerry Springer wedding so I can watch!! I'll be berry berry quiet ('coz I'm hunting wabbits!). Just a seat in the corner ..... I'll hide in the coatrack. 
lol, Indydebi, you crack me up!! Some bridezillas are just meant to explode, and I too would love to be there to watch it happen!!
Ya know, I love kids, but I don't think that if and when I get married I'd want them at the wedding - only because in all of my experiences, and especially knowing my family, my cousin's kids run holy terror around everything and get into horrible trouble since their parents are too busy getting drunk on someone else's dime to bother to watch them. They leave that up to whoever feels that the kids shouldn't be allowed to run around and throw juice on unsuspecting guests. lol... maybe I just have a weird family. I do however know that when one of my cousins specified no children and explicitly didn't invite one cousin's girlfriend (they'd been dating for 4 months, and my cousin had a small venue down and had to keep the guest list down) some of my aunts and cousins hollored (sp??) bloody murder about the kids not being allowed and the girlfriend still showed up and acted all prissy about it. LOL. ok. I've hijacked the thread, sorry... just sometimes I can't believe I come from a family so rude!
So... question: when you were growing up, did your parents stay at the birthday parties with you? I can't remember my mom ever staying, and she definitely didn't know the parents! lol.
But I absolutely love the ticket idea!
Well, I guess we were lucky last year. My son (5) had a Halloween party and we only had one kid show up who had not RSVP'd, no siblings who wanted to stay and the few parents who hung around for awhile didn't want any food. Pretty good compared to the stories I'm reading here! We have another party in a couple weeks, we'll see how that goes!
As for the wedding thing, I can't believe they would actually turn family's away. I would be so mad!! We don't attend "adult only" functions because I feel if my kids aren't good enough to come we're not going. Besides, by the time I would pay a sitter I couldn't afford a gift (one income family) so I might just as well stay home anyways!
Although we just had the mishaps with the birthday party, I am thinking of letting my son have a movie night. I don't mind if siblings show up for that as we plan to show Monster House on our projector and I have a ton of popcorn. It's not like I'm incurring a per person fee.
As far as the previous member stating that she doesn't attend "adult only" functions...if her kids aren't good enough to come then neither will she...
I don't see it that way at all. My husband and I have attended adult only functions and we have no problem with our kids not being invited. Usually wedding receptions cost a minimum of $40 per person/plate. There is no discount given for kids. I am not offended by a friend or family member not wanting to pay $40 for my 5 or 7 year old. I wouldn't want to pay that for them either, especially when they eat 40 cents worth of food and keep asking if it's time to go home and play. Kid's can be very noisy. Crying or whining not only ruins your special day, but it is also embedded on your wedding DVD forever!
first the part about extra kids showing up with out permission....that is just rude.
As for extra guests showing up at weddings....rude and moochers looking for free food.
As for kids not being welcome at a wedding....I can understand this stance as a wedding is an adult activity...the joining of two people into the bonds of marriage. I completely respect a couples desire to keep it on a higher level than a typical family backyard bbq. More respect, reserve and formality. But they need to let their guests know in advance.
This is one big stinky can of worms that this bride (spoke of in the above posts) is about to open up....the smell is going to linger long after the honeymoon.
I would never take a child ( even if their name was on the envelope) who can not behave, sit still for 10 minutes or acts out if disciplined. I have a small herd of children and some of them are not ready for prime time. 
Until they can act appropriately I won't inflict them on my friends.
my opinion for what it is worth,
mommachris
I agree-- some events are appropriate for adults only. That is especially true if the kids aren't ready to behave appropriately. Sometimes everyone can enjoy an event more if children are not present. We wanted children at our wedding, and we invited them. They behaved just fine. However, I have family members who pay attention to their children, teach them to behave, and remove them from settings where they are not behaving, so I know I can trust their judgment. Not everyone is so lucky.
I completely agree that some children would be able to handle sitting still and quiet better than others. The main issue here isn't that they don't want kids there, that's their decision to make. The problem is that they failed to include that bit of information on the invitations. We are all hoping they will get it straightened out before the wedding!!
Adonis, I LOVE the movie idea! I'll have to remember this for when my sons get a little older!
I am, however, considering chopping all my hair off and spiking it up and having it dyed bright pink or something. She's very set on us all wearing our hair up the same way. If I was a more spiteful person, I just might do that.
I know a gal who did EXACTLY just that for a family photo!!! Chopped it all, spiked straight up, DYED ORANGE --ORANGE -- black eye makeup, black lipliner -- it was priceless!
Okay -- 2cents --- My DD 
had a specific # of people to invite to her 13th party. 
It was a big deal, lots of fun games, prizes, etc. So she pulls me into her private area, and explains how these 3 extra girls wanted to come. She doesn't even KNOW them, but she feels sorry for them... 3 girls who gave RSVPs couldn't come, so of course, I said "OK" since it evened out-- But then I told the girls very nicely that they really should not do that in the future because they might not have been able to come, and would've been sad. 
As it were, the 3 that had RSVPd but couldn't come to the event, got to keep their prize bags. 
And the 3 extras? I had stashes and stashes of candy & gave it to them. Bottom line? They all had a great time! And the 3 tag-alongs got to be in on "the" major birthday party of our local Middle School and Mommy Status was elevated to 'super cool'. 
The 3 tag-alongs were nice, nice girls. And yes, I was indeed shocked 
because the parent's really didn't give a hoot their 13 yr/o were at some strange lady's house for 5 hours!
Two years later ALL the girls still talk about that party and how much fun they had. 
I would never ever ever invite me, my kids, or anyone else on the assumption "well, it's okay!" without any invite!
crislen, I don't remember my mom staying with me at birthday parties either! I don't usually stay very long when my daughter is invited to a friend's house for a birthday party. I stay long enough to give the parent's phone numbers and to make sure they are staying at the house.
When my daughter is invited to a party that is held at a skating rink or bowling alley (anywhere like that) I stay, but I don't expect to be fed on the other parent's dime.
LadyDZA - ya gotta keep us all in the Know when this all takes place.
Leahbell -- I stayed at my son's very first b-day invite. He was only 5 at the time and it was his classmate's at home. The b-day boy's mom was very patient -- she'd had 3 older kids and this was HER youngest, and I was a 'first time' mom and didn't know her! And he was my baby! 
GI, I understand staying at the first party he was invited to by a classmate! I did that too! My daughter is in second grade now, and is invited to a birthday party almost every weekend...I couldn't imagine staying at all of them.
The only thing about birthday parties here is that a lot of them are sleep overs. I won't let my DD stay the night at someone's house if I don't personally know the parents. She can go to the party, but I will pick her up later on that night...usually around 8:00.
We had one mom bring her older daughter to my son's bday party last weekend. Mom said older daughter "thought it might be fun." Um, but you were not invited, grasshopper! Since two of the classmates who RSVP'd, one late the night before , didn't come, it worked out okay in prizes and goody bags and all, but, sheesh! Also, none of these parents had ever met me before and just dropped off their kids!! Even if I'd reviewed the sexual predator website and didn't see them, I would still ask ahead of time if I could stay and help them out! I'm not comfortable leaving my kids with strangers, no matter how normal they look.
In our family, weddings and birthdays are all-family events. The WHOLE family, the good, the bad and the ugly! For DD's sweet 16 party in August, I was very nervous about having a few of the children come to a formal evening dinner/dance. It turned out perfect in the end, everyone had a fantastic time, but several people who RSVP'd didn't show, and several people outright asked if they could bring someone with them who was not originally invited! The last week, the entire guest list was in a flux!
Debi, when you write that wedding workbook, I may have to get a couple of copies for my family. They are etiquette-impaired. Go ahead, ask me how many of the RSVP cards I actually received back in the mail!!
I know exactly what you mean...
every year my son always have a great party for all his friends and classmates... I usually invite the younger the sister just not to hurt their feelings, but what I hate is , when it is time for that "younger sisters' " birthday, my son never gets invited because it is s "girls only" party. It's like girls expect to get invited to boy's parties, but boys are never welcome to girl's parties. And that is suppose to be OK ?? NO more, girl siblings invited !! if they won't do thesame for my son 
. !!! 
. It's like girls expect to get invited to boy's parties, but boys are never welcome to girl's parties. And that is suppose to be OK ?? NO more, girl siblings invited !! if they won't do thesame for my son
. !!!
This drives me nuts too! We have a nigheborhood full of girls, and always invite the entire class to my boys parites (ages 7 and 5). The girls in the neighborhood and their parents assume they'll be invited, then my boys are never invited because it's girls only while they have a huge party in their backyard. These people's houses are right around ours, and our boys can watch their parties from our backyard! I finally last year went to the parents and asked them to please let me know when their parties would be so we could take our boys to do something else during that time. I would never have a party in my backyard where other close friends who weren;t invited could see the party. Actually, I wouldn't have a party and NOT invite the close friends!
I've never had a "girls only" or "boys only" party. I let my son and daughter invite their entire class. I can't believe people would be so rude to you, especially when you can see the kids playing in the backyard. I was thinking at the girls only party it was a princess themed tea party or something. My daughter just turned 5, but in a couple of years, I am thinking of a girls only party. I want to give her a party at Dazzling Divas or Libby Lu. That's not something that's appropriate for boys.
My kids go to a private school. They have a policy that you cannot send the invitations to school unless you invite the whole class, that way no one is left out. I think that's a good rule! And when they are young it's nice to have it that way. We would invite the whole class anyways.
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