My mother has lived in this house for a year now. I just moved back from the UK and I'm staying with her until my husband gets a job and we get a place. I am trying to do my sister's birthday cake for tomorrow and out of all the days, my mom decided to pain the kitchen TODAY.

She knew I would be working on the cake, I even told her it wasn't a very good day for painting before she started but she went ahead. I'm a little pissed because quite frankly, if she had waited a year, a day or two more was not going ot make that much difference!

There is paint everywhere. I was cooking the filling for the cake and she was painting the ceiling. She dropped the roll thingie and it fell on me, staining my jeans and my left foot.

I've given up now and decided I will not do anything else until they clear the kitchen because I just can't work like that. I wanted to have the cakes iced before my sister gets home from school because she likes to be involved in everything and gets her little hands in everything (she's .

I just wanna say "screw it" and go to Wal Mart and get a freaking cake from there!

Rant over, thanks for listening!

June

Does your mother not know just how important cakes are??? I know its hard enough to decorate cakes at home with the normal distractions but having to dodge flying paint rollers would be a bit over the top! Just one of those grin and bear it kind of things. You have my sympathy.

parents....can't live with them...or without them!!!! hahahahahaha i feel you....she probley decided to paint the kitchen because she knew you were going to be in there and could keep her company!!!! well don't be too hard on her...just take a breathe and figure an alternative!!!!! perhaps the dining room??? or setting up a table in the living room??? or in the back yard!!!! hth...and good luck and happy b'day to sister!!!!!!!

When you cut your cake tonight you should cut out a bit of the cake and put a big blob of paint in it and put the cut out part back in to cove it up.. be sure the paint oozes out a bit too so it can be obviously seen. Then hand it to your mom to eat with a big smile. When she see's the pain in the cake and says something play dumb and say "OH NO! Mom I asked you not to paint today for this exact reason!"

My goodness! It really was not a good day for painting or baking. I am sorry you are going through this. Is this normal behavior for your mother? I am not sure why she would plan to paint on a day she knew you would be doing a cake. She did know ahead of time right? She didn't complain or tell you of her plans to paint while discussing the baking of the cake? Who knows what goes through people's minds, don't give up on the cake though. I am sure your sister will love it.

If the party is at her house, maybe she's using it as an excuse to FINALLY get the kitchen painted.

Bad timing for you, but it may be why she's decided to put that project on the front burner.

I would either go with waiting for the painting to be done, or do store-bought stuff, which bites, but one less headache.

Good luck, I hope you can get it done without knocking your mother off of a ladder!

I knew you'd understand

For some reason, I see a smiley where my sister's age is supposed to be! She's 8 today.......and there is no party.

June

I don't mean to bad-mouth your Mom, but maybe she resents you invading her territory. About 14 years ago me, DH and our 2 kids had to live with my parents for a few months. We had sold our mobile home and was building a new house. Trailer sold before house was done and we had to get out. It was awful the whole time. I couldn't do anything right according to her. There were days where I just had to get out and ride up and down the road so I wouldn't tell her off. I really feel for you. Just hang in there, it'll get better soon.

Patticakes,
Now I don't feel so alone. Tell your dd I know how she felt. It's really sad how family treats you sometimes.

Sometimes we don't realize how much we want to do something until someone else comes and wants to use the space. It is crazy but I think that is what your mom was feeling. It is a lot like kids who don't want a toy until they see their sibling with it. Then all of a sudden GI Barbie Dora has to be at their side

To the few previous posts: If I ever had to move in with my MIL, I don't know what I would do. MY IL's treat me like I can't do anything right and I told DH that if it were between living with them or living in a shelter, I would almost certainly take the shelter.

My DIL and 3yo grandson have been living with us since end of May. Son is now home from Marines and 2nd grandbaby (girl) will be born today so we're adding a newborn to the mix.

I can say it's hard being the ones giving out space too. I'm glad they are with us - and I love my DIL dearly - even so there are times when we're all in each others way. That said - I know I wouldn't paint the kitchen if she were trying to do something special in there...

Shortcake - I think if I were in your shoes I'd wait it out...especially if you don't have a party time constraint...

Well I'm off to the hospital to check on the above mentioned and hopefully see my new grandbaby soon!!!

June, that sounds like passive-aggressive on mom's part. Sorry. Go to Walmart, get a nice cake, and just let your sister know that you couldn't risk getting paint into her special cake, since mom decided to paint on the day you had specifically designated for baking her special cake. Give her a gift certificate for a cake at a later date, once the kitchen is done, or better yet, once you have your own kitchen.

When I still lived at home and was trying to do cakes (note the 'trying'), I ended up needing to wait until the wee hours of the morning, when everyone else had gone to bed, and make cake then. Fortunately, the kitchen was far enough away from bedrooms that running the mixer didn't wake anyone, but still... My father always 'needed' to do something that just couldn't wait until I was done. And one day, he even found a way around my plan, which was working for everyone... he got up at 4 in the morning, just as I was finishing, and managed to make a scene. It's the first and last time my dad ever struck me. (He's since been put on meds, and that was almost 15 years ago).

As someone who's now in the position of having family living in my house, it's very difficult to work together sometimes. My MIL is great, and always thinks of what we've got going first, always asks, and never takes advantage. She's lived with us for five years, and we've never had problems unless talking politics or religion.

My SIL, who moved in a few months ago, is a different story entirely. She will not even ask, and will barrel right in and do whatever she wants, no matter what I've got going on, or how much it inconveniences me. She even wanted to make her potluck contribution for my wedding, three days before the wedding! Now, take into account that I'd left notes, talked about, and had made sure everyone in the house understood that Wednesday and Thursday before the wedding, the kitchen would be completely off limits for everything but cereal, while I was baking. I tend to get a *wee* bit testy when I'm interrupted while cooking, so we plan accordingly.

But of course, that's when she decided she wanted to start her spicy beans. I very calmly reminded her that she was going to seriously interfere with the wedding cake, and that since her beans took three hours, and my cake took considerably more than that, she could easily wait until friday to do it, when I would be out of the house fairly early in the morning, not just for the day, but also that night. She actually fought me about it, and somehow in her mind, she'd figured that doing it early would be easier on me, even when I explained how that was sooo not the case! ARGH! I finally won when my DH (fiancee at the time, of course) reminded her in no uncertain terms that mine was the name on the deed, not hers, and that it came down to who was homeowner, who was guest. She was being unreasonable, while I'd had my plan mapped out for months before she moved in.

yeah... they're both moving out soon (I hope I hope I hope!), and while I'll miss my MIL dearly, I will not be missing my SIL at all. In any way, shape, or form!

All that aside, your mom, as the owner of the house, should have told you her plans, so that you could have made a different one. Yes, it's her house, but when you take people in to live with you for a time, for whatever reason, you also need to show them some consideration, and allow for compromise, whenever possible.