... I am so frustrated. He will eat one bite and say he is done. It doesn't matter what it is, breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack. Then he just sits there and stares off when he eats his one bite. I cook things he likes, he is not a picky eater. He keeps getting lots of colds, I am worried he is not getting enough nutrtion. The dinner table becomes a war zone. With a parent telling him to eat and him yelling I am full. He is five. He has never eaten, but it is just getting worse. Doctors just say they will eat when they are hungry, but does that mean I don't feed him? Do I just let him eat one bite and be done? Does anyone have any suggestions?
My daughter, who is three, is the same way. I make sure that she gets a daily multi-vitamin. We had issues with her really not gaining weight when she was smaller--though the docotor did not. He said that as long as she was eating something, gaining weight over a period of time, and getting the multi-vitamin, there should be no worries. We just had to get it through our heads that she was not like our boys. She is small and petite--even for three. One of my friends has a 2-year-old daughter who is now taller and heavier than my daughter, but my kiddo is healthy. 
But, I do recall my middle son going through the phase of barely eating, and the doc is right, they'll eat when they are hungry, so have a bunch of healthy sancks ready--apples, bananas, peanut butter on toast or crackers, or whatever he may like. It is just a pain when they won't eat with the rest of the family...
I think it's really important not to make dinner a battle zone, because than can lead to food issues later in life. Let him graze throughout the day and offer up healthy snacks. cut up and have readily available carrots, apple slices, cucumbers, green peppers, etc. in the fridge. Offer milk, not juices, and water and just don't force the issue.
Hmmm.... make sure juices aren't the main source of his diet. Juices taste great to kids, but are nutritionally inferior to fresh fruit, yet they are filling, so they don't eat other foods.
He may not be a big eater and may never be, but don't get into battles because this phase will just go on longer as he gets entrenched.
My older son (10) had a few bouts of little eating or temporary picky, but it goes away. Now, my 19 month old has been really challenging with food. he didn't want to eat at ALL until he was 12 months old and it wasn't until he was about 15 months old that he started eating "most" things. He still won't open his mouth for something new and if it's been too long between having a food, he'll forget it and you have to start over again. And milk? He's breastfed and just don't want to give it up. He still nurses 10-12 times a day and REFUSES to drink milk from a cup. Just YESTERDAY I got him to drink an ounce when I used a new sippy cup. He got this look like, "Where have you been hiding this liquid gold?" LOL I have been trying a bit of milk every couple days... duh!!! He just has his own pace with things, but since he's healthy and growing and gaining fine, we (and his doctors) just follow his lead.
Good luck!
Melissa
My children's pediatrician has always told me that they will eat when they get hungry. Don't make a big deal out of him not eating. She also told us not to give them a snack if they choose not to eat breakfast, lunch, or dinner. They need to learn to eat what you eat and when you eat it. I also give my children a multivitamin. I know it is hard not to worry but I would just keep an eye on him and if he starts to lose weight or something like that then I would take him to the doctor. Your son will let you know when he is hungry! 
Good luck!
Don't make a big deal out of him not eating. She also told us not to give them a snack if they choose not to eat breakfast, lunch, or dinner. They need to learn to eat what you eat and when you eat it.
That is the best advice. They WILL eat when they get hungry enough. If you let them "graze" or snack all day long, that will NOT teach them responsible eating habits ~ they will know they can have a snack whenever they feel like eating one. Fix healthy meals, and set down at a table to eat them. If he chooses not to eat, that is fine, he does not get anything else to eat until the next meal. It really does work ~ just have patience and don't force the issue.
I watched a show on tv a couple days where this was the topic. The dr said to not fight with them at the table. They also said not to say they could get up or have dessert or whatever if they ate "just two more bites" because they will not learn to stop eating when full. They taught the mom in the story how to get the kids involved with helping make the foods and the child ate it better. They also said to not give snacks earlier than two hours after a meal time. That way they can eat if they get hungry but they are still learning they will have to wait if they don't eat at mealtime.
pinknlee... I agree with the no battle zone dinner table and making snacks that he can graze on through out the day. Currently we are going through the same issue with our 10 yr old Autistic son. The Dr told us he needs to gain weight in order to build up his immune system to make it through the winter. The Dr also said "If he wants cake and ice cream everyday then give him cake and ice cream." Ok....well he doesn't get cake and ice cream everyday but we give him whatever he ask for. Granted my situation is a bit different but the problem is the same. I take my little guy shopping with me and let him buy what he wants. It does affect our gro. bill and meal planning, but we all manage to work around it for his sake. Currently he is up 3lbs and I'm working really hard on keeping him healthy, so we will see how things fair this winter for him. Keep in touch if you need to, just PM me. I'll help out and encourage you anyway that I can.
Gloria I
I let him pick what he wants for meals and he still doesn't eat it. Basically, I hope I am understanding everyone right, I need to set him at the table, like I do every meal, and offer it and if he doesn't eat it, he doesn't get food. What do I do if he gets hungry ten minutes later? Do I say you didn't eat you dinner, you don't get food? Do I feed him dinner again?
That is a control issue, and it sounds like he is the one in control. If you do let him "have a snack" 10 minutes after he has said he is full. He is the one in charge. It will take just a few days of standing firm about mealtimes and he will get it. You need to say "I am sorry, you were full, and mealtime is over. You can eat again the next meal that we have." If you do offer snacks, make them fresh fruits or vegetables, and have them the same time each day. If you have granola bars, ice cream or what ever for the snacks, again you are just encouraging him to hold off and get that stuff instead of eating a healthy meal.
There are situations where the child has health issues, but that is NOT the norm. The norm is the child being the one in control because the parent is "guilted" into letting them have whatever they want to eat JUST to get them to eat. Most typical children do this to have power, and we ususally give in and let them.
Talk to your pediatrician, I am sure they will guide you in the direction you need to go. ( that is where I got the advice I have offered above! Thank you to our wonderful pediatrician Dr. Rosenfield)
I think all of this is really good advice and am planning on trying it out. The eat at meals and no snacks, unless he eats. If he doesn't eat fine.However, how would you try to explain this whole thing to a husband who remembers his Grandfather saying eat when you have food you never know when you are going to eat again. He believes food that is on your plate needs to be eaten and not thrown away. Sometimes i think they are fighting for "Top Dog".
I think working with your pediatrition is best and also knowing your child. I could never not offer a healthy snack to my child just because she decided she did not want to eat at a designated time. Sometimes kids as well as adults are just not hungry at designated times and to say that if you don't eat then, you will not get anything until the next meal (which could be 3-6 hours later) just doesn't sound good to me. Yes, in some instances it is a control issue, but that is where discussing things with the ped will help. And actually there is a recommendation for at least 6 smaller meals throughout the day as opposed to 3 main large meals. I know I need to graze throughout the day because of low blood sugar and that is something I don't want to have to worry about with my kids. Besides, I know I don't like dealing with my cranky hungry kids!! 
try to explain this whole thing to a husband who remembers his Grandfather saying eat when you have food you never know when you are going to eat again. He believes food that is on your plate needs to be eaten and not thrown away. Sometimes i think they are fighting for "Top Dog".
That is EXACTLY what it is about ~ I hope you can get your hubby to understand that when he stops insisting that the food is eaten - your son will more than likely start eating just fine! When your son realizes there is not a battle about it anymore, he will give in.
Will having your husband read these posts help any? (I know it hard when you are the one in the middle of the issue - and it looks like that is what you have here) The eating disorders that we all see today all stem from our parents and that good ol' "clean plate club". I hope you can get it all worked out for your family.
With our kids, they have to eat what we give them. Make sure you give kid size portions too. If they don't eat it at supper time then they have absolutely finished everything on their plate. That means at times we have to put plastic wrap on their food and warm it up later when they decide they are hungry. It has taken a while but they have learned to eat when we do. They then get the snacks they want. My children have low BMIs. They are tall and skinny. The doc says as long as they eat normal meals like they should then they can eat as much junk food as they want. Right now they'd rather have fruit to candy. And ice cream is their favorite and it is healthy compared to candy. Maybe saving the food from supper will help the "Top Dog' fight a little bit.
My DD is the same way and she's 2 1/2. She's a very tiny 22 lbs. my 1 year old weighs more than her. A normal meal for her might include about 2 bites of a sandwich and a few goldfish crackers. I used to give her pediasure to supplement, but that stuff's expensive. So instead I got the carnation instant breakfast powder and put it in her milk in the mornings. That way she's getting some nutrition. Plus I give her a multivitamin every day. My pediatrician basically says the same thing..."She'll eat when she's hungry." He said that there's a medication that he could give her to make her hungry, but he said she doesn't need it. He said she's just going to be tiny. I do notice when she's about to go through a growth spurt that she'll eat more. Then when it's over with she goes right back to not eating very much. I completely understand where you're coming from though. It's very frustrating when they don't want to eat. I was scared to death about a month ago when my daughter got the stomach flu. I thought they were going to have to put her in the hospital because she couldn't hold anything down. Most children have a little baby weight they can afford to lose. My DD doesn't have any baby weight to lose. If she loses any weight she will have to go to the hospital. Good luck and I hope things work out for you and your son.
That is the best advice. They WILL eat when they get hungry enough. If you let them "graze" or snack all day long, that will NOT teach them responsible eating habits ~ they will know they can have a snack whenever they feel like eating one. Fix healthy meals, and set down at a table to eat them. If he chooses not to eat, that is fine, he does not get anything else to eat until the next meal. It really does work ~ just have patience and don't force the issue.
I'm sorry, but this leads to bad eating habits. EVERY healthy eating book, diet, dietician, etc says that eating three meals a day only leads to overeating as we have never been and will never be animals that wolf our food down. We have always eaten when hungry and eating when hungry is good eating habits, not eating 3 huge meals a day. The healthiest eaters eat a good sized breakfast, a mid morning snack and larger lunch, a midafternoon snack and then a light dinner - that's it. IF, someone is still hungry after dinner, then a light fruit snack no closer than two hours before dinner.
If you deny yourself snacks, brain function lessens and the body thinks it's starving and then we overeat when we get to the table because we are stuffing our face and not hearing our "I'm full" voice.
Now, should you give your child a snack if they won't eat at a meal? that's a tough call... but what about offering up the same food that was for lunch for that snack? That's we did with our son. He could opt out of dinner if he wasn't hungry, but then dinner was his snack later that night. He's never objected to that.
Melissa
I let him pick what he wants for meals and he still doesn't eat it. Basically, I hope I am understanding everyone right, I need to set him at the table, like I do every meal, and offer it and if he doesn't eat it, he doesn't get food. What do I do if he gets hungry ten minutes later? Do I say you didn't eat you dinner, you don't get food? Do I feed him dinner again?
That's what we did. "OK , you're not hungry now, but when you are hungry I will heat this up and you can eat that, OK? Nothing different." Now, if it's a food he doesn't like, don't force it, but if it something he normally likes, he'll eat when he truly is hungry. Some kids also don't have very big stomachs, so smaller meals and more frequent meals are easier on them to handle.
Melissa
I have a 4 yo that has went through eating phases ever since!!!
Sometimes he eats so little, that he gets the *runs* so to speak. I use to get on him about it, but eventually gave up.
They have a time limit for dinner...what they eat, they eat and what they don't, well...they don't.
It's funny, b/c he won't eat at home, but go to Grandma's and eat 2 peanut butter sandwiches....2 whole sandwiches.....4 pieces of wheat bread and peanut butter........................I don't get it.
My boys are 4 & 5....they get a timed breakfast, lunch and dinner and they usually get a snack between lunch & dinner...it's not timed. If they don't eat a meal, they must wait until the next meal.
It's less stressful to worry about it for you, but even more so for them......I used to stress over my 5yo not eating and it got so bad that he didn't even want to come to the table.
Good Luck!
Our kids are tiny, the 8 year old hovers between 45 and 50 lbs, the 4 year old (almost 5) just over 30.
They get breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, supper, and a snack if they are hungry later.
If they are not hungry at a meal, their leftovers are their snack later on. Remember to only give about 2T of a few foods (less than a cup for a whole meal) or they cannot fit in in their tummies. They can always ask for more, but don't overwhelm them with a lot the first time.
I give the kids about half a cup of food and ask them to eat that before they leave the table. If they can't, they can't, but no dessert. Dessert is not a reward for eating, but it is simply not offered. We keep it separate from the meal, have it for an evening snack if it is served.
Another trick our doc gave us was to keep drinks separate from meals. We will serve food first, then drinks after the meals, or when their food is half gone. "Two-finger drinks" also worked - they get to fill the cup until the milk is two fingers high measuring from the bottom. They can drink all they want after a meal, but only two fingers within an hour of the meal being served.
Another trick our doc gave us was to keep drinks separate from meals. We will serve food first, then drinks after the meals, or when their food is half gone. "Two-finger drinks" also worked - they get to fill the cup until the milk is two fingers high measuring from the bottom. They can drink all they want after a meal, but only two fingers within an hour of the meal being served.
I had forgotten about that too. A lot of people think that a lot of juice and/ or milk is good for a child, and that is just not true either. Give them the recommended amount of milk for their age, and if they are thursty offer them nice clear water. Too many kids drink gallons of empty calorie juices - very little nutrional value there. I have learned that some kids like their water ice cold, and some prefer it room temperature. Offer your child water from a young age, and they will always look for that when they are thirsty as they grow.
Another trick our doc gave us was to keep drinks separate from meals. We will serve food first, then drinks after the meals, or when their food is half gone. "Two-finger drinks" also worked - they get to fill the cup until the milk is two fingers high measuring from the bottom. They can drink all they want after a meal, but only two fingers within an hour of the meal being served.
I had forgotten about that too. A lot of people think that a lot of juice and/ or milk is good for a child, and that is just not true either. Give them the recommended amount of milk for their age, and if they are thursty offer them nice clear water. Too many kids drink gallons of empty calorie juices - very little nutrional value there. I have learned that some kids like their water ice cold, and some prefer it room temperature. Offer your child water from a young age, and they will always look for that when they are thirsty as they grow.
Good point with the water! Ours is icky, so we bought the bottled water dispenser. Kids love it! It's the 2.5 gal that goes in the fridge, and they like that they can pour it alone (little spout on it).
For those of you that have kids that are "underweight", I was told to give my son a Tbsp of Peanut butter (if not allergic) with every snack. It's full of the good fats and should help him keep his weight on. Not really helping him but it might help others. My son will be 5 in April. He weight 33lbs. He is very tall for his age also. So he looks very skinny. Most of the time the Slim size pants are still too big around the waist. It's just genetic for him as his father and I were both the same way. My DD is gaining weight now. She'll be 2 in April and she weight 28lbs.
About the food battle, we try to make sure they have a meal, snack, meal, snack, meal, and snack. But if the meal is not finished, it is refrigerated and has to be eaten before the snack can be consumed. We try to keep it in small portions also. Just think as an adult going to a buffet. We feel overwhelmed trying to figure out what to eat and wanting to try some of everything. Kids are the same way. Little amounts with get ate faster than a full plate. Took a while for my DH to understand this. Now my kids almost always ask for seconds.
We've went through food jags also. My DS wouldn't eat anything orange for a while. Now he does. Now he doesn't want cheese melted into anything. My DD loves grilled cheese sandwiches. She was offered it for lunch most of the time but now is not wanting them. I also find that as a stay at home mom, if I offer them a choice for lunch they will eat it. I also make sure I cook food they like.
We also had to set the timer for a while with DS. He would pick around his food for a long time and not eat it. Once again it was just a power struggle. Once he learned that it had to be ate in the time frame, we no longer use the timer. He eats at a decent pace now.
Our pediatrician says they need to eat when food is offered (at meal time only) if not then no snack until it is ate. Then if they eat at meals my children are allowed all the snacks (junk food included) they can handle as they are underweight. Thankfully they mostly want healthy snacks.
Sorry for the long novel here. I understand several of the problems listed. I hope I can help someone.
My 4 year old son has had eating issues for two years. His doctor says he's doing fine! What does he know?!?!?! 
It's difficult to watch your child not eat especially what you want him to eat like protein and vegetables! I started giving my son Pediasure shakes which we call Vanilla Milk Shakes. He loves them. We found that if we give our son choices he feels in control of his eating. We let him pick the vegetable we are going to have at dinner....etc. etc...
He surprises us every once in a while by wanting to eat all day long, things like pears, apples, broccoli, cheese, bread!!!!!! Hey, when he asks for things like that I'm more than happy to give them to him even if i is near dinner time or right before bed.
He still sits sometimes with a plate full of food and won't eat it because it's too hot and then complains when he's finally ready to eat it that it's too cold!!!!! I reheat it once and once only and then I set a really loud kitchen timer in front of him and he hates that!!!! He starts eating because he knows if he doesn't clean his plate before the timer goes off, he's going straight to bed even if it is two hours early!
Amy
I think one thing that is important to understand too is that Pediatrictians didn't specialize in children nutrition. Most of the stuff they say they heard from other pediatricians or got from a single class along the way. They specialized in detecting illnesses and diseases, not in how to get children to eat, when to eat and what foods to eat. Same with sleeping.
So, if you are concerned, contact a food nutritionist who specializes in children's nutrition. that will be your best bet. You would be amazed what your family doctor DOESN'T know. We just expect them to know because they deal with kids. Well, they deal with sick kids or injured kids. If ANYTHING goes wrong with nutrition they send you pronto to a specialist because they know their skills are lacking.
Same for adult doctors, btw!
Melissa
I was told the same about my kids from the food nutritionist. Peanut butter with his snacks. And as much snacks as they can hold if they eat their meals.
A good snack for underweight kids is peanutbutter crackers. The 10 packs of 6 are about a dollar most places.
My daughter, however, eats plain bread and used to sneak sticks of butter, and never gained weight. Those metabolisms can be really high!
I think you've gotten a lot of great suggestions here. Any success?
There might be a food allergy situation as well.
We just went thru this with our nephew, it turns out that he wasn't eating because he has an allergy to gluten. Gluten is in everything but now that he gets foods without it he eats a lot better.
Sometimes kids know there bodies best.
www.kincaellan.com
I can relate to all of this. My 3 1/2 year old has always been a poor eater. My pediatrician said it was ALL about control, at least for my daughter. I can get so frustrating at times but I have gotten to the point that if she is full then she is done. She won't get a thing to eat after that though. It kills me to think her little belly is hungry but as you have all heard they will eat when they are hungry. My doc says "children won't starve themselves".
I have started to give her carnation instant breakfast once a day, NOT as a meal replacement but just anther "drink". At least is has vitamins etc. I just keep telling myslef.... this too shall pass. 
My son was the hardest child to feed. We tried all the tricks, small plate of food, plate put back in the refrigerator and reheated when he was hungry, meals more frequent but smaller, him fixing his own meals, we did it all. I finally found out what his troubles were, he had a geographical tougne. This is a virus that was in his system that affected his tastebuds. He would love one type of food one day and the next he would refuse to eat anything. The virus would move day to day on this tougne and alter his tastebuds. This went on for years. He learned to only eat very bland foods. He outgrew this virus when he hit puberty. Now he eats everything and highly seasoned foods. (cajun food for a cajun boy) Just letting you know that this might be a phase or it might be something medical. Just don't give up even though it's frustrating. Gook luck
My boys are 6 and 4, and we are going thru this with both of thm right now. They usually eat breakfast around 8, and I HAVE to make lunch around 10:30-10:45 to get my oldest to school by 11:45. They aren't hungry at lunch time, but don't want breakfast any earlier. They come home from school starving, and want tons of snacks, but don't want to eat dinner. Then are starving right before bed again. I've started giving them a yogurt or something healthy that I know they will eat right before we leave for school, then limiting them to one healthy snack and one very small sweet snack after school. If they don't eat their dinner, that's fine, but they will reheat it for snack later on when they are hungry. I'm not one who believes in making them clear their plate...I think it teaches them to overeat, but they need to be full. If they don't like something I fix for dinner, they can have fruit or yogurt in it's place. We had fish last night, and my 4 year old hates it, so he had a yogurt in place of the fish. They aren't happy when they get dinner for a bedtime snack, but it works here. I also try to keep fruit that they like on the counter, and cut up fresh veggies with dip in the fridge where they can reach them.
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