This is sure to get long.....

I do not understand what's going on. Three weeks ago my daughter started the Young 5's program at school. She goes twice a week. Her big brother is in the same classroom with her, but he's in kindergarten and goes 5 days. On the first day she went to school with no problems and came home loving it. She was doing so great. In fact, she wanted to go everyday and were discussing that option. According to her teacher, my daughter was volunteering, answering questions, etc...She was loving it.

Well, Tuesday I got a call around 12:30 to come pick her up as she had thrown up. When I got there teacher said she had been crying all day (she was NOT crying when I left her that morning) and she wasn't sure if she was sick, or had gotten sick from all the crying. I took her home and she spent the day on the couch. Didn't really eat anything, but didn't have a fever or anything and seemed fine. Yesterday she was fine, but she didn't have school.

This morning she woke me up at 2:30 (as was discussed in another post awhile ago, she often wakes up at night for hours on end). When she woke me up I got her settled back into bed and told her to get her rest for school. She started crying saying she wasn't going. Finally got to sleep about 5. Fast forward to morning...she's dragging her feet and not wanting to go. Get to school and she's crying and screaming that she's not staying, she wants her mom (whatever, she never wants me), she's scared...Breaking my heart. I had to pick her up and carry her into the room. I stuck around for about an hour trying to calm her down and in the meantime her big brother started crying because he was upset for her. So by the time I left the school, I had two kids crying and she was screaming so hard I could hear her all the way down the hall.

I came home and had a good cry and now I'm trying to understand WHY?!?! I just don't get it. It's breaking my heart thinking of her sitting there so upset! It's not at all like her to act this way! Her brother cried every day last year, but never to the extent she was this morning and he was always fine once I left. For him it was the actual seperation that was bothering him. I don't know what's going on with her. I've tried to talk to her but I'm getting no where!

I can't pick the kids up for another hour and half and it's driving me crazy not knowing what's going on with her!!

Thanks for listening! Any and all advice welcome (as long as you don't tell me to suck it up and quit crying myself ...I don't cry in front of her). Jodie

Obviously there MIGHT be something going on, but I wanted to let you know that this isn't unsual in a child starting a new routine. I teach in year 3 (they're 7) and we've been back at school for three weeks now. The children come to us from an infant school down the road and year 3 is their first year in this school - so it's all new.

THree days ago one boy came to school upset and when his Mum left he went completely mental - really throwing a toddler style devestated crying fit. He was howling and really inconsolable. We had to call Mum and lunchtime to come and get him and she was every bit upset by it as we were - previously this child had always loved school and had seemed to be settling in brilliantly. Myself and my colleagues were really worried about it.

The following day he was absolutely fine and has been since. It turns out that his Mum had gone away for a night the previous weekend (which he'd seemed fine about at the time) but said that this really upset him and he was worried she'd do it again. It came totally out of the blue and was really triggered because there was just one change in routine too many and for some children this is just hard.

Talking to her is unlikely to work as she's too young really to decipher anything complicated as areason for being upset. It's easy if it's 'daniel kicked me' or 'I don't like my teacher' but changes in routine cause an upset that's difficult to explain or understand when you're small.

Don't push the issue with her. As much as possible be normal and take her to school tomorrow as positively as you would normally do. Don't make any fuss when leaving her or promise her you'll come and get her if it happens again. Just be bright and leave her. If it makes you feel easier hover in the school office for a bit and get a receptionist to pop and check in half an hour that she's settled.

She will be fine. If you could have heard this child crying in our school you'd have thought his parents had both died in front of him - it was heart breaking, the next day he was totally fine - talking to the other year three teachers this isn't a rare occurence.

i hate that....it has to be one of the hardest things we as mothers have to do....leave crying child(ren) at school!!!!
when you got home did you call the school to see if she had stopped crying??? you know you can do that.....
if they say she stopped and is playing...then you can almost be assured that she is just have separation issues....(even if it is out of the norm for her....) when they go to school the first couple of days sometimes they are ok because 1-she is so excited to be a big a girl and has been hearing about school and is really excited those first days...2-her big brother is there and she felt safe if/when she even thought about getting nervous that you weren't there...
but when all the hype is over and it is something they have to do on a daily basis...and not when they want to....well then you have your crying....
but i would call the school definately and check to see.....and of course if she is still crying and still not acting normal than you can investigate......
i hope i helped!!!! good luck!!!!! also, ask big brother if he sees whats going on??? does he notice anyone being mean to sister?? kids or adults??? kids usually keep an eye out when you don't even tell them too....and they are honest....and he should help too......

This happened to me this year with my 9 year old DD. She came home and started saying the first day of school she didn't want to go the next day. She went to bed crying that she did want to go and woke up the next morning the same way. She finally started talking before she went to school and said that the teacher said something and it hurt her feelings. My DD is a pleaser and always does whatever it takes to make the adults like her. Is your DD sensative and maybe the teacher said something to possibly hurt her feelings? Kids take everythink to heart at this age and are easily hurt over it.

Also, is this the first time your DD has been away from you at a school setting? The first few weeks may go good because it is new but she may have decided it is better to be home with mom.

Try and get your DD to talk about her feelings and get to the bottom of it. You can also ask your son if he knows why she is having a difficult time. Good luck - been there and it is no fun when your child is giving your difficulty about going to school.

Give her a few weeks to settle in, sometimes kids do this when mom is around to jerk her chain but are happy once she leaves.

If it really doesn't work out is there any possibility of removing her from school until she's ready to start kindergarten? We don't have many options in our area about preschool and my youngest isn't ready for the only available schedule (four days a week, they get on the bus at 8:30 and aren't home until about 3) so he doesn't go. SOme kids just aren't ready to be away from home at that age and she might be more than ready in a year. I'd love a program that was a couple half days a week, since I don't have anything like that he's been spending more time with grandma to get him used to not being with ME all the time.

Good Luck.

Thank you for all your thoughts on the matter. It's heartbreaking! I'm glad to hear from a teacher that this is common...makes it slightly easier to bear! I know there were a couple of other kids who were fine the first week and had trouble the second. Everyone else is fine now in the class except for DD. I can't help but think that something must have happened...it's just a feeling I have. Could be wrong. I have asked big brother and he just doesn't understand...as far as he knows nothing happened, but maybe he didn't see it?! Or perhaps maybe she's just exhausted and this is pushing her too much. As I said earlier, she often wakes up during the night and will be up for hours.

This is her first time away from home. Whenever she's not with her daddy or me, she's still with family (grandparents, aunts, etc...). But she has her brother at school! We decided to start them out in the Young 5s because in our area all the kindergartens are five full days. I feel that that's just too much for your first year. Chose this route so she could ease into school. Like I said, my son cried every day last year, but not like this!

I would hate to pull her out. She needs a little stucture in her life and she really loves to learn. She picks things up really well and I think school is just what she needs.

Well, I get to pick her up in half an hour. She's off now until Tuesday so we'll see how that goes!

Bad week for this to happen. I'm doing 26 centerpiece cakes for a wedding Saturday and this drama has me so far behind!

Thanks again for all your thoughts. I'm going to try and let it all sink in and go from there. Thanks. Jodie

My son when he went to Kindergarten he loved it for about a month or so and then he started not liking school. Whereas when he was in Pre-school 2 days a week we never had an issue.
Come to find out the teacher, some of the kids, and one of the playground supervisors were not being very nice to him. I think the teacher did not know how to handle him, and we tried to work with her, but my mother-in-law kept showing up at school for no reason to 'help' out her grandson in class. It got to the point that my MIL got banned from the school grounds indefinetely, she is only allowed to be at the school to drop him off and pick him up and for school concerts.
I didn't have a problem with him last year, and so far no issues this year, so I really think it was the people around him causing the issues since my son hasn't really had separation issues. (I always had him see me leave and I always told him when I would be back and it really helped him I think.)
The trick is to leave when you say "good-bye"- the first time, the teacher can always help distract your child as you are leaving. It won't be easy to do, but it will help your child better in the long run.

Oh you new mommies are so cute!

When my son was about 5, he was going to daycare and there was no problem dropping him off. One day he clung to my leg crying for me not to go. Sorry, kid, mama works for a living. I called out for a teacher to help me pry him loose, and I left for work. He was crying and I didn't feel bad about it at all. I will NOT reward bad behavior by staying and babying him and giving him the attention he thinks he deserves.

That night at home, he got the big lecture. He had never pulled that before and he was not starting now. Mom and dad have to work and he goes to daycare and school. Dad told him that mom wouldn't be taking him to daycare .... dad would be. "Because you might think you can pull that on your mom but you will NOT pull it on me."

Part of it may be that she saw other kids acting like that and thinks it's the norm. That's a REAL common side effect of daycare. Things your children have never ever thought about doing, they see other kids doing it and suddenly it's their new habit.

Nip it .... nip it in the bud right now.

Wow, Debi - that's harsh. It might have been right for your children but it seems harsh to me. She's having a hard time adjusting to a new situation that's all and needs a bit of support to get through it - that's not saying that pandering is a good idea - but a lecture? Ouch.

If it had been a new daycare center, and if he had been having problems adjusting, there would have been no lecture. BUt he had been going there for weeks/months with no issues. Then one day out of the blue, he pulls this "I want my mommy" crap .... which he had NEVER done in his entire life, in or out of daycare.

That's why we believe he was mimicking what he saw other kids doing.

So you mommies who get sucked in with this behavior are making it hard on those of us who don't buy the act. My kid sees your kid getting babied and decides to pull the "I want my mommy!" routine!

Debi, I will have to respectfully disagree, parents are not always being sucked in.....some children are actually born shy or sensitive......my middle sister was a good example, stayed chained to my mom's leg even around relatives like my grandparents, there was never a night away for my parents because my sister would be so hysterical she would be puking.... starting school for her was HORRIBLE...... My Mom didnt linger or anything I mean she had to go so it wasnt an option.....but some children are inherently born different and their needs are different. Outsiders wouldnt know of my sisters SEVERE shyness........so they might think she was just doing an Oh I need my Mom act....but for her it was truly tramatic. Perhaps for your child it was the right decision..but to say that Mommies just get sucked in, when you dont know that childs history or personality doesnt seem very fair.

No not all kids are alike...but I think indi is on to something. Is it possible that someone has made her mad and she is just trying to get your simpathy? My nephew acts up at school when he is upset about things at home. Anything to get attention from someone is common

Children only try to get attention when they need it. They like positive or negative attention. I think accusing children of 'just doing it to get attention' is a mistake as yes, they ARE trying to get attention - don't children deserve this? She is telling her Mum, in the only way children know how, that she's struggling with the new routine. Her extreme screaming and crying may be an inappropriate way to ask for that attention, this may be that she doesn't yet know another way to get the attention she needs.

My oldest was no problem going to school, loved it and still does at 10, my middle son was a different story. He was fine for preschool but when kindergarten came along and he had to ride the bus he cried the whole walk there. I ended up keeping a chart for his good behavior and at the end of a good week he got to rent a movie/game of his choice or got to choose what we had for dinner that night. After a couple of weeks he was fine and the chart was phased out.
My third son is like my oldest, he goes into school and does not look back.
Tracy

I've been away from this thread for a couple days as I had to finish my 26 cakes for a wedding this weekend. I appreciate very much everyone's input. I don't think she's doing this just for something to do, but rather because something is really bothering her. This is not like my daughter at all and everyone I've talked to about this who know her well (her Papa, Grandma's, Aunt) all agree...she would not be acting this way unless something happened to her. I just have to figure out what!

As for an update...when I picked her up that day the secretary was outside and told me my daughter told the teacher she did not want to sit by the little girl she normally sits next to. Teacher moved her and the rest of the morning went well. However, later in the day she started crying again. At that point I'm wondering if something was bothering her or was she just overly tired?! All that emotion will tire someone out. I have since found out from my daughter that although that little girl was not mean to her, she kept touching her and she didn't like it. My daughter is NOT a touchy feely person so I can see not wanting to sit next to someone who won't stop touching you! Can't say I blame her. But I wonder if there's more to it or was that the whole issue?! She doesn't have school until tomorrow so we'll see how it goes. I want to talk with her tonight and see if there's anything else I should know.

Tracy - I understand the concept of a chart...although I don't think it would work with my daughter. My oldest son loves charts and we've used them for many things....heathy eating, potty training, etc...never worked for school, though. Like I said, he cried every day last year. This year he cried the first week and I told him week 2 if he didn't cry I would take him to the park. He was a little teary eyed the first day, but didn't cry when I left and once he realized he could get through it without tears he's been fine. For him, it had become a part of the routine and it's finally been broken. As for my daughter, she's never been one for charts or anything along that nature. She doesn't like anything that singles her out...she just likes to be a part of things, never the center of attention. Another reason this is all so weird.

Actually, my daughter has suddenly become pretty clingy at home. She always wants to be next to me (she's sitting on the floor next to me now reading books). This is highly unusual. Also been whining for her Daddy when he's at work...also new. Although, he had lost his job and was home with us all summer. He went back to work the week before school started. Maybe too much change at once?

I'll keep everyone updated on anything she says and also let you know how tomorrow goes. Thanks. Jodie

Oh, my gosh...daughter must have known I was talking about her. Just asked when daddy is going to be home because she wants Daddy. Then a couple minutes later her baby brother bit her and she was crying. I told her brother to be nice to sissy and that he would miss her when she's in school...and then she started crying she's not going to school. I don't know what to do...Jodie

Something has set this off. Ask her if she would feel better "drawing" what is wrong instead of talking. This worked for my nephew because then he could tell the story of the boy in the picture. It made him feel more at ease.

Another bad morning. When she first woke up I thought maybe we'd be okay..she was smiling this morning. But as we got up and started getting ready she started getting teary eyed. When I was in the kitchen getting her brothers their breakfast, she went out to the living room and put on her every day clothes (they go to a private Catholic school and have to wear uniforms). So I had to actually undress and re-dress her this morning...not a fun thing to do. She refused to carry her backpack, so I did it for her...with her crying the whole time. She was crying from the time we got in the car, all down the hall (teacher heard her coming), and as I dragged her into the room. Tried to get her brother set up first (they have morning work and I always help get them started). Then took her to her seat and she would not sit down. I told her that Mommy had to leave then since she wasn't doing what she needed to do (very hard to do). By that time her big brother was crying (he is very sensitive and gets upset when others...esp his loved ones....are upset). So once again I left two crying kids. And while this is all going on, I'm also carrying my 20 month old. By the time he starts school he's going to be traumitized (sp)!

I don't understand what's going on. I had a talk with her yesterday. Started out by asking her what's her favorite part of school (free time when she plays with her brother and their girlfriend). What are some other fun things (morning exercise, art, music). Then I asked if there were anythings she didn't like about school...she said "girl" touching her...that was the girl she told teacher Thurs. she didn't want to sit next to and teacher moved her. So I said, well, you don't sit by "girl" anymore so you don't have to worry about that. And I told her I was proud of her for telling her teacher something that was bothering her and that she can always talk to her teacher so she can help her. Then I asked if the kids in class are all nice...she said yes. Is anyone ever mean? She said no. So I just said how nice to have so many nice kids in class and to be making so many friends and left it at that.

When her big bro got home I asked him about the "girl". He said she's one of those kids who doesn't listen at all (I've seen that the few minutes I'm there) and when she's told to do something she says she doesn't know how. I'm thinking maybe that "girl" isn't at the maturity level of the other kids. But why would that bother my daughter? I get the touching part...but she's not by her anymore.

I tried to bribe her. Told her every day she does not cry she can have special one-on-one time with mommy or daddy. Today her and I were going to take snacks to her room and play I Spy. We had it all planned...I thought it was going to work...

She says she's scared to go to school. I don't get that?!

Hubby is starting to think she's not liking school because she can't be in control. She's pretty head strong, but she's always done well with organized activities. I don't see it...

Her personality is...she's very tough, likes things her way, usually doesn't take any crap from anyone. On the other hand, gets very shy around new people, does not like to be the center of attention.

I don't know!!! FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!

I like the idea of having her draw a picture. Tomorrow she doesn't have school. Perhaps when the baby is sleeping her and I can draw pictures...can't hurt at this point!

Thanks for listening to me (again) and thanks for the advice! Jodie

Have you had a talk with the teacher about what she thinks is wrong? She might know what's wrong. She also gets to see your child when you aren't there, how does she behave then?

Are there other options as far as school for you? Like letting her quit for now and then starting after Christmas? I know you want her in school but is it worth making everyone miserable and having her hate school?

I know people who've put their kids in preschool and had them hate it so they've pulled them out and the next year they're fine about going to school. We also know people who have sent a kid just the last half of the year before they'll start kindergarten. And most surprising of all is the number of teachers who don't send their kids at all, I know more who don't than who do.

mbelgard - thank you for your thoughtful advice. I do very much appreciate it!

Her teacher is as baffled as I am. Like I said, Allie (my daughter) loved it it the beginning. She was raising her hand to volunteer, answering questions, etc. In fact, as I'm sure I've mentioned, she was loving it so much she wanted to be there 5 days; she was upset the days her brother went and she didn't it. And then one day...all these tears. Her teacher has no idea. She didn't see anyone being mean, she didn't see anything happen. She really doesn't know. Of course, this is the teacher's first year teaching. She's had a couple of long term subbing jobs, but this is her first classroom. Maybe she doesn't pick up on things as some of the teachers who have been in the classroom longer?! I don't know. Of course, on the days my daughter is there they also have a teacher's helper. She's been with the school for awhile and she also doesn't understand where this is coming from.

Thurs was her first big fit trying to get her to school. From my understanding, once she told the teacher she no longer wanted to sit by that girl teacher moved her and she was fine all that morning. The tears started again later in the day, though, teacher is unsure why?! When I picked Allie and her brother up, I could tell she had been crying, but she didn't have tears then and before we even got to the van she was telling some of the fun things that happened that day...a nature walk, recess, and so on...she sounded happy talking about her day.

Her daddy is thinking we should pull her out. I am not as eager to do so. First of all, she loved school in the beginning...she was SO happy! I'd hate to take her away from that if there's any chance we can get her back to that point! Also, my son cried every morning last year and we didn't let him quit. He had to stick with it. Of course, his crying was NOT to the extent of hers and he was fine once mom was gone and he settled down. It took him a long time to break out of his shell and make friends. She has friends, she has her brother and she's made new friends who she talks about all the time. If it gets to the point where she's making herself sick, not calming down, disrupting the class and the teacher is spending too much time with Allie, then perhaps we will have to pull her out for awhile. I just hate the thought of doing it! My fear is, of course, what about next year when she has to go and she has to be there 5 days?! She can't be taken out then! If we pull her out are we teaching her she can cry and get her way? I don't think her crying is a power struggle, though.

I don't know! Thanks again for your kind words and advice! We'll see how it goes. I'm anxious to pick her up and see how it went...4 1/2 more hours!

Jodie

Someone must be doing something to her at school and she is too afraid to tell- that's the only thing I can think of as to why she is acting this way.
My son was like that, turns out the teacher didn't know how to handle him so she was never nice to him and we also had a playground supervisor that was not very nice and intentionally bullying certain children. But my son would never tell me something was wrong...
Maybe you can get it out of her by sitting down and drawing some pictures, or maybe your hubby will have to talk to her. My son would always tell Daddy more stuff than he would tell me. Maybe there is a school counselor that could sit with her and get her to open up.
I hope this gets resolved quickly for you!

The picture idea is a great one! Is there a school psychologist she could talk with? I don't want to alarm you, but it sounds like something is going on, more so than the usual separation tantrums that some children have.

Thanks, again, for everyone's support. It's been a really stressful time for us and I appreciate all the encouragement and wonderful suggestions.

As I understand it, she did much better yesterday. Once I was gone and her teacher was able to settle her down she did well. No more tears the rest of the day. Her teacher believes that moving her seat really did help, and I tend to believe that was a big part of it. When I picked her up, she was very animated telling her about her day, as she had been prior to these "fits" so I took that as a good sign. When we got home she told me "Mom, I didn't have to sit by (girl) today". I told her she no longer has to sit by her. I think maybe she didn't fully understand that she would no longer be sitting next to her?!

As for (girl), teacher said they believe she has a learning disability and she just doesn't know better than to keep her hands to herself. Combine that with someone like my daughter who is NOT touchy-feely, I can see why that would be a negative experience. The (girl) really doesn't listen and just kind of wanders around the class. My daughter said she's not mean, she just "touches" her.

There is no school counselor/psychologist. It's a very small, private Catholic church. However, we as a family are close to our Deacon and if things don't get better I was thinking perhaps he could sit down with her. I'm not convinced the crying is over, but I am hoping as she gets back into the routine and really sees she no longer has to worry about (girl) she'll be okay. I'm not foolish enough to believe there won't be anymore tears. But perhaps we've made a turn for the better?!

Now, she didn't have school this morning but her big brother did and he was crying...I just can't win. Well, he did tell me his belly hurt this morning, but unless he is throwing up or running a fever, I send him as he cried every day last year and I was fooled by him "not feeling well" too many times last year. Learned my lesson with him. Also, his best friend wasn't there yet, and I think maybe that was getting him down. She rode the bus this morning and I saw her going in as I was coming out so I'm sure he was fine. Like I said, he cried every day last year and always settled down once I was gone....for him it was the actual seperation that bothered him. I know this is way beyond that with my daughter.

Looking forward to what tomorrow brings. Their teacher will not be there (training for new teachers), but the class helper is subbing so at least they don't have to bring in someone new...that always throws the young one's for a loop!! I sure hope things are on the up side...

Again, thank you to everyone who has been so positive and helpful!! Jodie

Thanks for the update- good to hear things are turning around!

My oldest (now 21) has always been the independent type. Always happy to be with new people, in a new experience, always could take care of herself, even as a toddler. One Sunday morning when she was 2, I took her to her Sunday School class, and she immediately fell on the floor and pitched an Oscar worthy fit. Knowing that another little boy had been doing that each week, I just looked at her and said, "See ya later, sweetie." She got up and said, "Bye, Mommy." Given her temperment and what I knew she had been seeing, it was obvious to me that she was just trying out a new move.

Even so, in 2nd grade, I went out of town for 2 days. No big deal for her. She wasn't my touchy-feely, I need my mommy child. She liked the adventure of something different for a change. But, while I was gone, she started feeling sick. She didn't want to bother her daddy or her grandparents, so she didn't say anything. Eventually, she threw up in the classroom. She was completely mortified. For years after that, she had a fear of getting sick at school. It was a real problem at times. She could completely lose it if her tummy felt even a little bit queasy. Kids can be that way. I have a friend whose son choked for a few seconds on his sandwich at school. He lost quite a bit of weight before they were able to get him past his fear of solid food. Sometimes kids surprise us with how their fears work.

I say all of that so I can say this: When a child is just trying to manipulate you, you can tell. And you can fix it fairly easily. When they aren't, you cannot use the same methods. And, any child, no matter how resilient, can be thrown for a loop in a certain situation and can be very fearful of that situation repeating. I think it sounds like she is making progress. Because she is so young, it is hard to know the best thing to do

It is possible that the situation with the other girl in the class bothered her on a level that is hard for us to really process. She could now have an association with school that is negative and will take some patient work on your part to help her to overcome. It really sounds like to me that you are making good progress with her on this issue. I THINK if you stick with it, encouraging her, emphasizing what she loves about school and concretely reassuring her about her fears, she just may overcome this and be the better for it.

Glad to hear it got a little better. Maybe she was also having a hard time with you spending time on that large order. Not there was anything wrong with you doing it, just maybe she missed some extra Mommy time and started to realize that Mommy has a life other than her and her brothers. Most kids seem to take this as a shock that Mommy is a real person. Maybe she just figured it out alittle early.

ziggytarheel - thank you so much for sharing your story! You are right...there are situations where kids are just imitating and situations where there is really something wrong. There is something bothering my daughter, and I believe having this little girl touching her was really bothering her. Thanks, also, for the vote of confidence that we are moving in the right direction! There are things she loves about school...like I said, she wanted to start going full time, and I'd hate to see her lose that because of this incident!

dueter - While it seems that the incident with the girl is a big part of the problem, I also agree with you that perhaps there is more going on. I'm not sure it's so much the big cake (it could be), but I think in general she's gone through a lot of changes in a short time. As I surely mentioned before, my hubby had lost his job and was home with us all summer. He started back to work the week before she started school. So we went from all five of us being together 24/7 to Daddy being gone 9 hours a day, her brother being in school 5 days, and her going to school twice a week. Everything changed at once and I'm sure that's a part of it. She has been extra clingly lately (she was with me while I was making the cakes). She cries and whines for her daddy when he's at work (new for her, never did that in the past) . And yesterday she cried all day to go pick up her brother from school (also something she's never done before).

Anyways, she was supposed to go to school today. However, her brother woke up and wasn't feeling well. He's been a little under the weather all week and I've been pushing him, but this morning he looked rough so I decided to keep him home. When she heard that she went balistic. I could not send her without him. I worried that keeping her home might be harmful to the progress we're making, but at the same time I feared that sending her without her brother would make it worse. She's having a hard time dealing, as you all know, and having her brother has been comfort to her. I think that would have been too much!!

Before I said anything about anyone staying home, she had already started with the tears..nothing as bad as before. Just a little teary eyed. I just reminded her how much fun she had on Tues. She actually had stopped the tears and was deciding on breakfast. I know Tuesday will be a struggle as I know we're not there yet, but I have to believe we're making progress and I really think she'll be okay!

I appreciate everyone's kind words and helpful advice. She doesn't have school now until Tues (which is also her brothers bday). I am going to spend some over the next few days having her draw...maybe I'll get some insight to what she's feeling. Thanks again. Jodie

Thanks you SO MUCH to everyone who had positive words of comfort and all the wonderful advice!

Took daughter to school today after being gone a week. She did okay. She cried at home so I took a few minutes to just hold her. She was crying at school, but not as loud or hard as she had been. When we got to the classroom she even did her morning routine and asked me to go ahead and help her brother get started on his worksheet first. She went right to her seat and sat down (yeah! No one had to force her into her seat). When I was done with bro, I went to her. She was still crying, but not too bad and she listened to me and started on her work. Before I got out of the room, I looked back at her and she was no longer crying...looking a little sad, but not crying! It was good!

Today is her brothers birthday (he turned 6 today). He had taken to crying when she cries, but today no tears from him. He was too excited with everyone wishing him a happy birthday and talking about his cake.

It was nice to walk away knowing neither of my children were crying. I think daughter is going to be just fine and I'm hopeful she will get back to loving it as she did in the beginning! It's just going to take time. It appears that sitting next to that little girl was the issue and she just has to get comfortable in school again!

Thanks again for the kind words and advice!! Jodie