I felt really sad reading Jenn's letter about her hubby's behavior. There's a whole lot of threads on here that are basically about the same thing, unfair marriages. Wives carrying a whole lot more of the work load. Well, I think we're just stuck in a generation of change. Our moms, if not our moms, our grandmas, took care of the home and the man provided for the family. Now a lot of us are providing for our families but still stuck with all the homemaking. I think it's going to be a long hard battle to make things better. My hubby is in nursing school now and I am the one an only financial support for our family. Whenever he gets lazy I chew him out big time and tell him how lucky he is to have a wife that has a good enough job to put him through school. Most of his classmates are having to work. He's doing a lot more than he used to, but I still have to constantly point out, remind, and chew out. (Most of the time thinking it'd just be easier to do it myself.) So, this weekend I'm laying down the law--either he gets serious and commited about the work load at home or he goes out and gets a night job. I don't really want him to work but I think if he doesn't we will be constantly fighting about stuff not getting done. If he's not going to do it, he can jolly well make the money to pay someone else to do it.
When my DH quit a 15-year career to study for a new one, which didn't actually come to be, but instead we started a new business that Kicks Butt ( 
), I spent most of that year doing medical transcription at home from the time I woke up til the time I went to bed, and supported us for the whole year by myself (we were always two-income). It almost killed me, but I did it.
I did not, however, do ANYthing else. I woke up. I went to my desk and typed. When I was done, I laid down on the couch with the remote (sound familiar? heh heh). He did the cleaning, the cooking, the kids, everything. And occasionally I'd say "Oh, honey, you forgot to fold the laundry, feed the cats, mow the lawns, take out the trash, vacuum, clean the toilets, and make the beds. Oh, and can you get me that Mike's? I can't reach it from here." HAHAHAHAHA
But seriously... It wasn't fun, but I'm so grateful we went through it. Our business now provides both of us a full time self-employed job and a heck of a living. ce la vie
Hope you find a way that works for you both...
My DH does EVERYTHING at home! I am super spoiled! He makes my breakfast, lunch and has dinner on the table when I get home... where the house is clean and the kids are sitting at the table waiting for me! He cooked it AND he cleans it up. This after he ran my errands, BAKED MY CAKES and did whatever chores around the house I asked him to! (Stay at home dad... former history teacher). My life is GOOD!
I'm very lucky to have a supportive husband. He helps with the kids and also helps with my cakes. The cake thing is kind of turning into a family business. DH and my oldest DD help out a lot. I couldn't do it without his support. My family (mom and aunts) have always pooed on my dreams. DH was the first person to stand by me. He will even look at pictures and ask how the did that, and what we could do to change ideas. He's never taken a class. He's a computer guy. LOL. But if it ever gets big enough, he may quit his job and be a full time partner. We'll see.
I understand everyones' frustration, but don't topics like this belong in the Lounge?
I am chocked that anyone considers themselves lucky or spoiled that their husbands "helps out". That is not lucky, thats a minimum requirement! I cannot believe how many women let their husbands step all over them, being a guy is not an excuse for acting like an dumbass.
Husbands should not be "helping out". They should be doing their part without expecting rewards or whatnot.
Same goes for wives by the way, it's just rare to see that scenario.
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