My sisters wedding is this weekend. I'm doing her 7 tier wedding cake. I have been working hard on it all week. The cake is a complete challenge for me. All 7 tiers are covered in fondant and then piped with royal icing. I have never been a great one for string work. But, with practice I have managed to make it look pretty good. But, because it's not my strong suit, it's taking longer. It's the cake she desperately wanted, so I agreed. I've been up until 4 a.m. each night (well, morning) to work on the details. Last night I began the baking. My husband had to come and wake me up because I slept right through the the ovens loud timer. That's how exhausted I am! And eventhough I'm tired beyond belief...I've been so excited and thrilled to make her cake for her. I've made my other siblings Wedding Cakes. It feels like a really special gift I can give to them. So, I've always been happy to do it.
This time, I'm getting such crap from my sister (and mother...she's usually the one) about needing help on the Wedding Day for set up. Normally, my husband would help do it. But, we are talking about a Wedding out of town (yes, I have to transport the cake too). I can't possibly have him leave all 5 of our young children to help me set up. So, I made arrangements with a couple siblings to help. And I'm getting in trouble from the bride and my mom that I am "taking my siblings" away from my sister on her Wedding Day. How about the sister that is missing everything...everything...just to do her cake. Doesn't it matter that I would like to spend time with my sister too? Nope, I'm just the unpaid cake vendor. And a bridesmaid...yes, I'm in the Wedding too. I'm so disappointed because I've never felt more unappreciated. I was so looking forward to doing this for her. I LOVED doing it for my other family members. And eventhough I had to miss some of their pre wedding events because I was doing their cake, they never made me feel this way. My sister and I usually are pretty close. It's just so disappointing...I love her so much...She's always been my one of my biggest supporters. I just never expected this...
Well, thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Send me some good wishes on completing this cake. I do want it to turn out perfectly.

attack the source -- mom.

next time she complains

and just who is helping me with this cake and it's setup???

NO one -- and until I get help w/ this cake, I'm too busy to help anyone else.

I second Doug..take action and point the finger at your mom or whom ever is blaming you let them know how stress you are in trying to make the cake look perfect etc.

Double Ditto! Throw it right back at her.

Hubby used to come home and ask what's for dinner? I'd tell him what I was making and he'd whine about "oh I'm not in the mood for that!" so I'd lay down my spoon or my potholder and turn to him and ask: "Oh, I'M sorry .... what were YOU planning on cooking for dinner?"

He doens't do that anymore.

So you look at mom and tell her "Well, THANKS!! How NICE of you to volunteer to transport and set up the whole cake for me so I can take part in the rest of the wedding like everyone else!" If she keeps it up, then ask her if she wants you to "participate" or does she want a wedding cake .... because she can't have both.

If she wants to act like a little kid, then you treat her just like you'd treat one of your kids who was throwing a big baby tantrum!

How about this... Have the kids call and ask GRANDMA if they can come help decorate for the reception with her and that all of the siblings watch the kiddies together while setting up so you can get this HUGE cake done because it's taking far longer than anyone could have anticipated.

When she says "no" like your youngest and say how beautiful you want your sister's wedding cake to be, how exhausted you are, and how you're missing being able to just relax and do all the other fun stuff with the wedding while other people get to.

No matter how you figure it 7-tiers is a LOT of cake and a LOT MORE work. What have we learned here for the future weddings... That when it's YOUR gift, YOU get to decide what they get or as Duff would say, if they want input, I charge 'em!...

There's no real "win" here. My only possible thought would be to check with a few area daycare centers for whether they have a drop-in service where you can take the kids for a few hours or if they have any of their staff that would be available for a "side job" for this week to even stay with the kids at your place for a while.

I'm sorry but if I were making a 7 tier cake that took so many hours to make, I would let my family know that once it's done, I am done. That is your part of the wedding. And you are exhausted, plus you have to find a sitter. They don't realize how many hours you have put into that cake. Make sure you tell them.

: ) Cant wait to see a pic of your cake.

Things always seem worse when you are tired. I would just say gently, I am very happy to make this cake & I love you all so much, but I am only one person & I only have two hands, so much as I would love to be with everyone, consider this my total contribution.
Remember, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.LOL & hugs to you.

I say having the kids call to ask if they can help. If they don't get it then I would just say "this is my contribution and I am not accepting this guilt trip" People don't know what to say when you say things like that! They just don't think!

Wow, that is a picture my imagination has gone wild with Indyebi, I have visions of you tearing around with a swatter in one hand & a real evil look on your face. LOL.

.. I agree with everyone else...and the day after the wedding your MOM should pay for you to have a spa day: pedicure, masage, wine.. .. you will have earned that and more by the time your done!!! And MOM can take the windex and clean up the black splotches from the flies that were swatted by indydebbi.

Thanks everybody for the support. I definitely need it. My husband is going to have the kids in the hotel room while I assemble the cake. My dad is going to help set it up (which he's done with me a million times before). So, I guess that is all worked out. Those 2 are my biggest fans so I feel like I've got some back up.
I'm just so disappointed that my contribution seems so insignificant to them. I was up until 5 a.m. again last night (this morning) then of course the alarm goes off at 7 a.m. I'm exhausted to the point of breaking. Which of course doesn't help with all the crazy emotions. I have to have this completely done tonight as I have to leave tomorrow to get the cake there. This morning I moved one of the tiers and broke off some of the stringwork. Uggghhh! I have no idea how this is going to travel. This is basically my first attempt using Royal icing as the "main" decorations. Geez, it breaks SO easily. Somehow, I have to manage to get the entire family ready for the Wedding too. I just wish they "got" how much work this was and at least acted like I was helping them.
I gotta keep the peace through the Wedding. Too many family issues at once would not be a good thing
But, I think it will be awhile after the Wedding that I feel like talking to my mom (lots of issues there...not just the cake).
I just wanted to enjoy this day with my sister.
But, on the positive side...I'm loving how the cake looks! I just hope all that delicate work holds up to the 2 1/2 hour drive! Or I'll be up all night long again the night before the wedding fixing it all.
Thanks everybody for your support and advice. I knew you would all know what a difficult task this was to complete. And how important it is that the cake be perfect...
I love my CC family

Hang in there!!! We will be thinking of you!!!

IndyDebi... OMG!!! I really needed that laugh!!! Thanks!

hsmomma, sending some prayers and positive thoughts your way. You can do it! I'm sure once everyone sees the cake they'll be too amazed to bug you about anything else!

Chin up! It'll all be worth it at the (nearing) end!! All the best!

Take extra icing with you! I am sure some of the string work will need touch up's when you get there.

I do hope you get to enjoy time with your family this weekend at some point too.

hsmomma-

I know you are feeling hurt and disappointed, but maybe you need to look at this another way. You state that you and your sister are very close. Maybe she is just missing you too and wishing you could be there to hold her hand instead of making the cake now that the time has come. We can say what we want about your sister being selfish or not thinking about what you are going through (7 tiers and five kids-LORD BLESS YOU!!!!!) but she might just be feeling that she wants you near her and is upset that you have to work so hard that you can't be right there.

You will make a beautiful cake, you will put on your dress, and you will give her a HUGE hug before she walks down the aisle. You'll tell her how much you love her and she'll KNOW how much when she sees the fantastic cake at her reception. Everything will be right with the world and it will be worth it for both of you.

HUGS! and patience to get through the next few days!

Families, geesh! Anyway, since your hubby is one of your biggest supporters, maybe he should discreetly let everyone else who is complaining know the type of hours you were putting in for this beautiful creation!

deb

We must be sisters, because my mom sounds just like yours. Tell her to quit her whining. In the end, it will turn out beautiful and that is when they, hopefully, will appreciate the time you are taking. Be sure to post a picture.

Just want to mention that you could use fondant for the string work and it would break as easily. Best of Luck to you!

I agree with Doug.....put the Monkey back on your Mom's back where it started from.

I know exactly where you are coming from. My sister is getting married in September, I am making her cake and I am her Matron of Honor. We both live in Virginia and the wedding is in NY..So I will be baking and decorating in my brother's kitchen (no double ovens). Family members just don't understand how long it takes to bake and decorate a cake..We just had everything settled and yesterday she tells me she might need more cake(more people have RSVP'd) Good Luck, I hope everything goes well for you.

I am so sorry you have to deal with guilt while trying to make your sisters dream wedding cake. It is so hard to let the house, the hubby, the kids get pushed aside and focus only on baking, making and decorating for hours on end only to miss out on everything fun and don't even get me started on the exhaustion! I will pray for you to get through this as painlessly as possible. WE ARE ON YOUR SIDE! I can't wait to see pics of the cake.

That really blows on their part...I say you cry like a baby and make them feel guilty right back.

So looking forward to seeing the cake. I think you should sleep for a week after the wedding is over. Bles your DH, he sounds awesome & your dad too.