Hilarious!!!

Lounge By wgoat5 Updated 14 Aug 2007 , 8:43pm by Pootchi

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wgoat5 Posted 14 Aug 2007 , 2:26pm
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Pregnancy, Estrogen and Women
Pregnancy Q &A &more!
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex!?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A! : Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

"ESTROGEN ISSUES"
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3 The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-".
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".
8. Youre not as nice as you used to be and you used to be a bitch
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4 Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand:

1. OTHER WOMEN

6 replies
Iheartcake Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
Iheartcake Posted 14 Aug 2007 , 2:35pm
post #2 of 7

hahahah.. I LOVE that. icon_biggrin.gif Thanks so much for sharing!!

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rcs Posted 14 Aug 2007 , 2:44pm
post #3 of 7

Thanks for sharing. I think it's so funny because it's so true!

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rezzygirl Posted 14 Aug 2007 , 2:55pm
post #4 of 7

funny funny funny!!! Image

I love the line about cat's facial expressions! I'm always interpreting my cat for my husband!! He just doesn't get it!! LOL

Thanks for sharng this!!

________________
-Rezzy

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jobartwo Posted 14 Aug 2007 , 6:22pm
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Thanks! This made my day.

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ShirleyW Posted 14 Aug 2007 , 7:44pm
post #6 of 7

That is funny and it sounds very much like Erma Bombeck.

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Pootchi Posted 14 Aug 2007 , 8:43pm
post #7 of 7

thanks so much icon_biggrin.gif I needed that icon_lol.gif

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