What's The Sickest Thing Your Mom Ever Did With Food?
Lounge By LittleLinda Updated 9 Aug 2007 , 9:51pm by lynda-bob
Back in the day, our moms didn't know any better about bacteria and such. Most of our mothers probably left the turkey to defrost on the counter for a couple of days; but can you think of anything else?
My mother used to save the "shake n' bake" after shaking the raw meat in it!
I guess she didn't want to buy baby food. I can rember my mom chewing food and then feeding it to my baby bother.
I can't really remember anything like leaving food out, but my mom was anorexic when I was in middle school and cooked like a fiend, huge gourmet meals, but would scream how you were going to get fat if you ate it!
The grossest one was when my mom spent hours on making a doll dress cake for one of my birthdays and the dog licked the back of the cake. She re-iced the back and planned on serving just the parts the dog didn't lick. My dad about had a heart attack and let her use it only as a show piece and no one was allowed to touch it. She ended up baking another cake for us kids. --my mom just had a moment of not thinking clear, she would die if anyone tried doing that--
My Ma was a "Master Food Preserver" and we were in the food industry, so nothing too shocking... But we still P&M about having "Watered Down Ketchup!".. Back then we didn't have a lot of money, and when the ketchup container went almost empty, add some water... then add some more water... 
...
Otherwise, that's about the extent of it other than 
we ate fresh vegetables straight out of my uncles vegetable crop fields WITHOUT washing it... and we also drank from the same garden hose used to water the sheep/cattle/chickens... And I only had 1 sick day from middle-school onward...
mkolmar my story is a lot like yours ... one year at thanksgiving my mom put the extra turkey ( for mid-night turkey sandwiches of course ) out on the porch steps in the garage .. well she forgot to close the garage door and some wild animal came in and chewed up half the turkey .. she insisted it was fine as long as we did not eat where the animal chewed at .. we looked at her like she was crazy so the turkey went into the garbage and no turkey sandwiches that night!
I don't remember my mom doing anything gross like that. But I saw my MIL do something disgusting just a few weeks ago. She took a table knife that was in the sink dipped it in the dirty dish water (bits of food and a fly or two) and then wiped it with a paper towel before using it to scrape the condensed soup out of a can. I was SO glad that I wasn't staying for dinner. 
My mom never did anything gross. I do remember two different occasions where she said we were having fried round steak, when I ate my first bite, I about puked at the table, it was fried liver. Another time I thought the bowl contained mashed potatoes, lord have mercy it was mashed turnips. She was sneaky in trying to get me to try different food. I've got to tell on myself, when I was about 11 or so, my younger sister and a cousin my sis's age were bugging the heck out of me, I got even with them though, I made them cheese sandwiches only it was not cheese, it was sliced soap.....omg I still laugh today about that one. I was bad 
My mom never puts food away.
It sits on the counter for like hours or until its time to make dinner.
I once stopped by to visit and asked if she wanted me to put her mayo away.
"Oh, yea I made a sandwich for lunch."
It was about 4pm!
I don't eat at her house, too many ick factors.
Grossest thing is the cold dish water in the sink with dead flies floating in it.YUUCK!!
She always berates me cleaning up the table when she comes for meals.
"Sit and talk, we'll clean up later."
Won't let her do my dishes either cause she washes the glasses after all the greasy plates and never changes the water.
Okay, I was going to make myself and snack but I've lost my appetite.
mommachris
My mom used to decorate cakes when we were younger, her aunt asked her to make a 50th anniversary cake (3 tiered), mom made cake, decorated, put onto dining room table in the middle and went to bed, woke up next morning, family dog ate 1/2 of bottom tier (fruit cake), aunt on way to pick up, mom unassembles cake, slices away eaten half of bottom tier, replaces with styrofoam and decorates, why didn't she just decorate a full dummy tier, because she didn't want them to be short any more pieces of cake to serve than was necessary!!
My parents didn't have much income when we were young so every payday my mom would purchase a certain amount of fresh milk, it was never enough to get us through the 2 weeks to the next payday so somewhere during the 2 weeks she would start mixing the fresh with powdered milk, as we got closer to the end of the 2 weeks it would be straight powdered milk, not so bad except she would usually forget to make it the night before so we would end up with warm lumpy powdered milk on our puffed wheat cereal. YUK!! (I still haven't gotten over it)ha, ha
Cooking meals with a lit cigarette hanging from her mouth.
And lastly, she would take cold, canned baked beans and make us sandwiches for lunch, that's right cold baked beans between 2 slices of bread.
We all survived and the memories provide some great laughs at family get togethers
I grew up in a house of 6 kids, so you can imagine how many dishes there were for each meal. Talk about mixed messages...... we weren't allowed to make a new sink of water because then we were "wasting" soap, but we got in trouble if the water got cold. We still had to wash the dishes in cold water, but we got in trouble for being so slow. By the way, we were 7 and 8 years old, doing the dishes for a meal for 6 to 8 people.
Any food left on the plates? The plate was put on the floor for the dog to lick off before it was washed. Her attitude was "it got WASHED!"
The turkey was put in the oven the night before and baked at 200 degrees all night. (Not a safe turkey baking temp!). And yes, it was dry!
She ran out of milk one night while making mashed potatoes, so she put mayonnaise in it instead. "It's both white!"
When I was a kid, I thought this next one was normal. She had heard that some southern cooks put a "pinch" of sugar in a lot of dishes like vegetables and mashed potatoes. SO in her mind, if a pinch was good, a cup was better. I grew up thinking that EVERYONE put 3 Tbsp of sugar on top of their spaghetti! As she got older, her chili went from being hot and spicy to being really syrupy!
People ask me if I got my catering skill from my mom...... oh hell no!
I want to add, was at my mom's for a festival yesterday and an older woman that was sitting under the gazebo with us was talking about they used to make Bolgna GRAVY Ewwwwww......she said "Hey when we were growing up and your poor that's what ya do!" EWWWW I thought years ago bolgna was expensive!!!
Bolgna GRAVY Ewwwwww......!
How did she get juices out of bologna to make gravy?
Bolgna GRAVY Ewwwwww......!
How did she get juices out of bologna to make gravy?
I can beat that. Gravy made from shortening, flour and water. LOTS of salt and pepper for flavoring.
(See, we had great attendance at school because (a) we LIKED school cafeteria food and (b) we grew up poorer than dirt and school was where the food was! (c) anything was better than what my mom dreamed up!)
Oh God - where do I start?
My mother hated to cook and she hated to clean even more. I remember as a child I would actually get nauseous when I had to wash the dishes. She would draw a sink of water usually not very hot water because it took too long to wait for the water to get hot. She would then put the plates directly in the dish water without even scraping the food off. You would put your hands in the water and you could feel the spaghetti and bones and basically whatever you had for dinner was in the dish water. To this day you will never see me fill up a sink of dish water. I rinse the dishes
off with hot water until they have nothing on them and then put them in the sink. I then take my soap and squirt it all over my dishes and the start washing. How in the world did she ever think her dishes were clean - you were washing the dishes in absolutely filthy water - YUK!!!!!!!!!
I also remember both sides of the sink being completely full with dirty dishes and she would pull out whatever she needed and just wipe it with a dish towel and use it - DOUBLE YUK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I was young we had a very bad roach problem (it didn't bother my mother in the least - LOL) and if you had a bowl of food on the counter do not put it under the cabinet open the cabinet door because when you opened a roach could very well fall in the food. If that would happen she would simply scoop the roach out and go about her business. Also, at night when she would turn the kitchen light on the roaches would be scurrying across the floor and she would step on them barefooted - TRIPLE YUKKK!!!!!!!!!
I could go on and on with stories, but suffice it to say that after I left home I would not eat at their house unless I had prepared the food so I could make sure all the dishes and pots were clean and could supervise what may have fallen in the food.
I'm always amazed at how none of these things ever bothered her. Believe me, we are total opposites. In fact one time a friend of my SIL asked her if I was adopted - LOL!!!!!!!
Bolgna GRAVY Ewwwwww......!
How did she get juices out of bologna to make gravy?
they would make a flour roux for gravy and then throw in the bologna is what she said, then served it over biscuits and sliced tomatos....only in Kentucky I guess 
dad wins the prize for this contest. mom was out of town so he was in charge of feeding us. he whipped up the usual kraft macaroni, problem was he dropped a big heap on the floor. can't have waste, so scooped it up and plopped it back in the pot. problem: the dog has blonde hair that blends in with the macaroni...so he didnt notice the big hair fluff that was plopped into the pot with the macaroni! so we are served "hairy macaroni" and im picking out hairs and munching away well my sister throws a fit and refuses to take a bite (she was older and smarter, lol). so dad cuts a deal, if she will drink a WHOLE glass of buttermilk she doesnt have to eat the macaroni. buttermilk is downed, puked back up, and dad is content lol
my mom:
shortening/flour/water or mile gravy -- YEP
variant of bologna gravy -- the budding packaged thin sliced ham diced into the above grave -- aka S##t on a shingle (because served on a slice of bread) -- YEP
fried liver disguised six ways from Sunday -- YEP
dog as the "pre-rinse" before dish washing -- YEP YEP (down, scamp, down!!!)
30 second rule for anything but baked goods -- But of course!
buttered toast/bread upside down on floor -- pick it up, scrape it off and eat it!
refrigerator surprise -- as in what this mom? what ever i found in the refrigerator that needed to go!
serving fried COW BRAINS and saying it was fried cauliflower -- She got away w/ that one ONCE and only once!
(oh, yes and we routinely had cow heart and tongue and ox tail soup)
and in the OH mom -- how COULD you!?!?!?!
drank pickle juice -- you betcha! (sin to pour it down the drain -- still feel guilty every time I do)
and the her topper -- the one that drove us all from the kitchen, if not the house -- in fact, dad laid down the law (one of the few times he did!) that she was NEVER, EVER, NEVER to.....
eat pickled pigs feet and Limburger cheese together
when he was home or soon to be home.
somehow, she just love those two together!!!!
what was wrong with these women!
Mom to this day still washes her dishes in 'spaghetti floating" water.
I'm of the "it's cleaned before it goes in the sink" school. Can't get my water hot enough.
Yes, we had the roaches. Even worst was the maggots in the trash piled up in the side yard, cause we didn't have trash pick up and dad was only home one week of the month to load it up and take it to the dump. What a nasty Saturday that always was!
We ate budding ham in gravy on toast, liver and onions ( gross!) and sour crout (sp?) with hot dogs.
No wonder I don't have any 'family dishes' to pass down.
I started from scratch when I married.
mommachris
No wonder I don't have any 'family dishes' to pass down.
I know EXACTLY what you mean!
But the greatest feeling in the world is how my kids get on me because they want to have a dinner so I can make MY chicken-n-dumplins' or every Halloween night, it's traditional to have a big pot of MY chili.
I didn't have any dishes to pass down .... but I sure do now! 
I've put them together in a family cookbook, and updated pages are disbursed every Christmas. Another great tradition!
A perfect time for a joke:
John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, the next morning, John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, "Are these plates clean?"
His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get them. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!"
For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"
Without looking up the old man said, "I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!"
Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass. John yelled and said, "Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car".
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted,
"COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN!!!!"
My MILs dish washing practices are disgusting. She has two plastic tubs in her sinks and she fills one with soapy water and the other with water and a splash of bleach. She does scrape her plates but there are always going to be a few bits of food. She uses the bleach water for rinsing but it gets the dirty water splashed in, bits of food and dead flies. 
Then she has the gall to yell at me about NOT washing dishes that way, I don't fill my sink with water. I don't find a sink of wash water and rinsing under running water gross but I prefer my way. My husband doesn't see what's gross about the way his mom does dishes so he isn't allowed to do them in my house either.
My dog "pre-washes" all the ice cream bowls around here...he think's it is his RIGHT to lick them out....hubby started that one, NOT me. I make sure all those ice cream bowls are washed and then put into the dishwasher to wash and sanitize.
My mother's pretty picky about cleanliness, so is my MIL so they never bothered me. Hubby ont he other hand would use the same glass for a WEEK without washing it if I would let him. He's always muttering because I snag it when he isn't looking and into the dishwasher it goes.
OMG! I thought my mom was the only one who made "dirt gravy"! Hahahaha! Thats what my sister and I called it.
My mom uses a nasty wash cloth for a dish rag, a mop, a duster, a furniture polisher, to whipe her face, as an oven mit, you name it, its the same dingy nasty rag that if you have the misfortune to touch the smell of mold, dish soap, and pine o' pine will be with you for days! I avoid her sink like the plague.
I can still hear her "Amy I knocked the ash tray on the floor, go get me the dish rag!" AHHHHHH!
Shed wipe up the ashes and then just rinse the rag out and sling it over the middle of the kitchen sink.
And she always smokes while she cooks.
Thanks LittleLinda for the joke. I love it!
My Mom's a great cook, but it was always my Grandma who constantly overcooked/ burnt/ dried out/etc everything! One time I had to bring up some canned food but I discovered there was mold growing on it so I wanted to throw it out.... she insisted on scraping it off (about half the jar) and then letting everyone eat the rest. Yuck!!!
my mom is the exact opposite...in fact when my dad was alive he used to tell me she LOVED to do windows !!! LOL (which she didn't she just LOVED clean windows). My mom cleans her 40 windows 2 times a month And since I am the only daughter around guess who gets to help...not to mention the windows are around 7 ft tall!!!!!!! She dusts every other day and let me tell you....not dusting like with pledge she uses a conditioner that you have to rub in with one wet cloth then you have to buff the cream off. Oh well there ya go from one extreme to another. 
(it's not so nice to be ocd about cleaning)
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