Will I Sleep At Night If I Do This? Quasi-Long
Decorating By oceanspitfire Updated 17 Aug 2006 , 6:56pm by leta
LOL - ok so I think I already know that I will sleep at night. Just need outside/non-family feedback about this.
I'm making 2 cakes next week. (niece/mom birthdays). The story is that my mother is a health freak. Well not really. She's been cleansing and fasting and taking supplements (that she doesnt need-seriously- I'm the only person in the family who told her I thought it was psychological- you can imagine her reaction to that LOL) for years. She eats organic food and is constantly buying cleanses and supplements she doesnt need (conned by store clerks) with money she doesnt have on her pension. The thing being that she totally guilts herself into eating all this 'pure' food and cleansing but she deprives herself so much out of pleasurable eating(which doesnt IMO have to be crap), that she ends up having these binges all the time- for instance whenever she comes over she's always looking in the cupboards for potato chips or something else. It's INSANE - yes yes I know she needs professional help but that's not the issue here LOL (she's in denial about that anyway lol)
The issue is that every time we have a family gathering she makes a big deal about what she cant and can eat. Mostly she brings her own 'special food' anyway. Then, as predicted, she ends up pigging into the regular food (which isnt junk food I might add, just that it may contain suigar or dairy or wheat products LOL).
ok so here's the reason for this post. My sister today says 'oh so you're going to make Mom's cake with coconut oil and fruit sugar, etc, right? Because it is after all her birthday cake and she cant eat any junk'. 'yeah yeah' I said, 'I have that covered.' (my sister is one of the ones who enables my mother's 'addiction' to supplements etc by giving her money etc and doesnt think Mom's thing is actually an addiction that should not be enabled'
Now here's what I am pondering today. My mother is going to eat a tidbit of her cake no matter what it's made of- I know this because she digs into every cake I have made for the past number of years.
So the thing is- why should I bother put myself in the poorhouse (and mentalhouse) churning out a non dairy non wheat non sugar something something cake? She's going to eat some no matter what. Big reason being : I want to make a bunch of flowers on her cake with BC or RI (all my posts recently asking about lilacs etc lol) . I don't have the experience working with icings that would not include sugar, or dairy, or anything else edible for godsakes (LOL). never mind the cake itself. And she's going to eat it anyway did I mention that already lol. So why not just make the cake normal and not tell my sister (She is not able to travel next week to go to the party anyway so it really shouldnt be any of her concern lol). I do not want to lie to my mother so I guess I need to just avoid the issue if it comes up LOL
Do you guys think that's wrong? - If I knew she had a heart problem or she was diabetic or something and all her ailments werent hypochondriac related) I would obviously not put her health in danger. But she doesnt take her health seriously (and she's not unhealthy anyway).
On the other hand, if I oblige the health thing I have a week to try and concoct some non dairy non sugar non wheat non anything cake that's going to not look like a pile of shit next to the great masterpiece I have planned for my niece's cake which will sit right next to it- and then I can just see the comments from my mom now jokingly of course that Ashley's cake looks so much nicer than hers.
Feedback please 
My not so humble opinion....
don't lie to your mother. 
If you're up to the task of making the so-called "healthy cake", that's great! But if you don't want to make the health freak cake, then don't, but tell your family the truth. I know sometimes white lies can be helpful, but in this case, is it really neccessary? It's just cake...
Diana
Ok, I have a few suggestions. (I ALWAYS have input....whether or not is is solicted or not is another story altogether 
)
1. you could ask your mom what kind of cake she would like, and could she provide some of her smelt for you to cook it with.
2. You could decorate it with fresh flowers (unless we perhaps have a pollen issue)
3. You could purchase a perfect muffin from the health food store, and put candle in the top. Since everyone will most likely be eating the "good cake" anyway.
4. Or, you could do it however you would like, knowing that she will eat it anyway.
My grandmother (God rest her soul) was EXTREMELY OCD (among other things)....and had very specific eating rituals. She always chowed down when she came over to our place to eat, whatever we offered, but alone, was stuck in her ritualistic behaviors. We could NEVER change her....you really can't teach an old dog new tricks. We could talk a very good talk, but it didn't matter, she was sick in her head.
So, we could either just go along with her, thereby keeping her happy and non-anxiety filled, or try to force a square peg into a round hole, and force her to do something more "normal". Well, after many years, we always offered what we knew made her comfortable. It wasn't her FAULT she was OCD, she was also trying to get help, but started getting help in her mid-70's. Pretty stuck by that time. We loved her and we didn't want her to have anxiety. So, even though we knew she was being crazy......we complied with her wishes. It was never too hard. No different that catering to a 3 year old. And, her last meal was her favorite....cottage cheese and peaches, sliced.
So, is it that you don't want/can't afford to buy the items for her small cake, or that you can't accept/buy into/"feed" her crazy ways? You could always give her the leftover ingredients, since she is on a limited income.
I am just starting to realize that my crazy, wacky grandmother, who did many crazy things to my mom when she was little....also gave ME my mom....and it is only very very recently that I have accepted all the things she did to my mom...cause my mom is okay now....and she is actually wonderful. So, are you pretty wonderful? Do you have a happy life? Are you fulfilled by your kids/husband/job/hobbies/house/friends/life? You maybe don't think so, but you have your mom to thank for that. If she is getting wacky in her old age.....I know it can be very, very frustrating, I know you want what is best.......but, maybe humoring her on her birthday wouldn't be that bad of a thing. Embrace her little quirk here....and if she says "wow, I know you are a good baker and this tastes great, thank you for going to all the effort for me" or if she says "wow, I know you are a good baker, and this tastes kinda yucky, maybe you are right and I should reintroduce good stuff into my diet"...
Turn it around, if you were younger (say 1
and you lived with meat-eaters (your mom), but you wanted to be a vegetarian, would you hope your mom respected you choices?? If she chooses to eat vegan style, but then binges, that is also her choice to make. I know on my diet (heheheheh) I "choose" to have m&ms....not REALLY a diet food (especially when you eat a WHOLE bag!!!!) 
Sorry this seems preachy, I don't mean ANY harm to you AT ALL....please understand that, I only know you by this post. I only try to offer my opinion based on my experiences. I work with older folks (mostly) for a living, and so see things and hear things from many different points of view. (Husband/wife, caring children and grandchildren...et cetera).
Also, sorry this seems disjoined, I had lots of points to make (obviously )
sarah
Were it me--I'd just make the cake as "healthy" as I wanted to, but still looking & tasting great.
In essence, "Mom, I did the inside with carrot and wheat germ, but now--the frosting--it's buttercream and you may not want to over indulge!"
Or, you could just do your thing like usual, and if she eats some, she eats some!
Either way, you've done what's right, and your conscience will rest!
HTH,
--Knox--
I like Knox's idea. Make it healthy on the inside and beautiful on the outside. Unless you mom is like Gwenneth Paltro and will freak if the not healthy stuff even touches her pure cake.
I wouldn't buy into her game. Make what you want, but make it from scratch, using a healthy oil. there is NO difference between fruit sugar and regular granulated sugar, they are both processed sugar.
the answer of course is moderation.
Just tell her you made something special from scratch. period. But, don't pretend you went out of your way to make it 'healthy'.
Even most diabetics can eat one modest piece of cake, minimum icing within their healthy diet.
You might get yourself into a pickle if you say the cake is uber-healthy and it isn't as everyone will be SO impressed that you can make a gorgeous cake out of sawdust and eggshells that they'll be asking for the recipe etc.
Firstly, there IS a difference between fruit sugar (fructose) and normal processed sugar (sucrose), and that's it's impact on blood sugar, sucrose will cause it to spike and drop rapidly, fructose will not.
I have a very good recipe for a fruit based cake that is low GI (which sounds to me the sort of thing your mom would prefer), and it actually tastes good, and doesn't contain lots of hard to get ingredients. You could decorate it however you wanted too, she could always admire the beauty and then scrape it off her piece and not eat that part. If you'd like the recipe, please PM me and I'll send it to you.
I'd just flat out ask what she would like you to do, make her something that will be closer to her way of eating, or just make a normal cake that she can (and will) have a small piece of.
JMO! Good luck!
I don't know how you would bake and decorate a cake with no sugar, no wheat, and no dairy. I'm not sure if that creation could be called "cake." I bet spackle doesn't have wheat, dairy, or sugar in it--just kidding.
You can tell your sister that you intended to do it that way, but in the end, you just didn't have time and money to try a bunch of that recipes that may or may not work out (I'm betting may not).
I don't see any reason that you should be expected to make something that is probably not even available in the outside world--even if you did have the money to pay for it.
I like a lot of the ideas mentioned--especially the not lying 
I like making scratch cakes and icing with all butter, real eggs, cake flour etc. --Things that contain calories--I don't see the point of putting all the effort into something that doesn't taste and look great.
I would love to know that you were putting your energy into creating your neice's cake without thoughts of this other cake gnawing at you, or having the making of it hanging over your head.
The worst cake to make is the one you resent making!
Happy Caking!
Quote by @%username% on %date%
%body%