Okay, this wedding cake I have coming up on July 16th...my BIL is buying it as a gift to a co-worker of his! I gave him the total price for the cake yesterday and he said he was "SHOCKED"! He also admitted that he has never done research on a wedding cake either. I didn't expect him to have ever done that because his wedding cake was MY gift to him!!! Anyway, $300 is just too much for my Pharmacist BIL so he calls his friend, the bride, and asks her to pay half of the cost for HER wedding cake that he is "gifting" to her!!!!!!!!!! 
Is it just me or is that kind of WRONG!!!!!!!!
I don't think $300 is too much for a three tier stacked MMF covered cake for 150 people. Not to mention I am making all the flowers (edible) for the cake!!!!!!!!!!!! It would be a different story if she were having a florist put fresh flowers or even silk or a cake topper but no, she wants me to make the flowers for the entire cake. I have to make the fondant pearls too. I don't want to take any shortcuts on this cake. I wouldn't even know any to take but my time and talent are worth something I hope!!!!!!!!
I appreciate his asking me to make the cake! He knows I'm appreciative, I've told him several times already!!
Am I wrong to feel this way? I almost feel as if I should cut HIM a deal on the cake that he is giving as a gift to his friend!!!!!!!!!!!
Amy
I feel you are giving him a bargain price, especially for fondant.
I noticed you are a Navy wife... I was active duty and then a wife. Where are you stationed?
Well since he is your family he was probably expecting you to do it for just the cost to make it. I hate it when family asks me to make a cake because they want them for free..(well, the ones on my side of the family)..I mean I will make them for my mom, dad, and sisters for free, but anyone else is getting charged.
I would not come down on the price!!! Stick with your guns on this one!!
And YES it is plain TACKY that he is asking the bride to pay for half of her gift!!!
Your'e already giving him a discount! I decided after my first wedding cake which was a "gift" (I only charged for materials), if enybody wants fondant again, my minimum is $3/slice. I'll go from there for fillings, decorations, whatever. I haven't been asked to do another one yet, but I found out it takes so much time on the fondant, it's got to be worth the time away from my family for me to do it. 
Good luck with the whole BIL thing.
I think that you're right in staying to the price. It was his decision to gift the cake, even if he does his research now, he won't find a price like yours. He should have figured out his budget before he volunteered to gift the cake. Instead of giving him a discount, you could give him some less expensive alternatives such as no mmf, just buttercream, or real flowers instead of gumpaste. I know that doesn't showcase your abilities, but if you're wanting to treat him like any other customer, then that may be a better alternative.
First, I think that if he does any wedding cake research after hearing your price, he will realize that it's VERY reasonable!!! Secondly, he probably DID assume that you were going to charge him cost, which is again- NOT YOUR FAULT. And third, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? He called the bride and asked her to pay for half of her gift?!? Forget that it's cake- would anyone call a birthday boy/girl, bride/groom, ANY recipient of presents and ask them to pay for half of your gift to them?!?!?!? I don't mean to be so harsh... Is there not another wedding guest that he could split the cake cost with- that would make the cake from him and his friend?!? Hope it all works out!?! 
$2.00 a serving for a fondant cake is CHHHHHHHHHHHEAP, most places charge $4 and up. I would mention to your BIL he could allways go to Walmart, they he can see what they would give him compared to you.
also, if you offer a gift to someone like a cake it is tacky to ask them to pay for half. He should have given them the amount he wanted to contribute to the cake.
Good luck and let us know what happens.
Kind of WRONG!!!??? Way WRONG!! He should not have made a commitment to have the cake made without getting an idea of the cost in advance. I cannot imagine that he didn't have some idea as to how much a cake that size would cost. I would not come off the price, but I find it extremely tacky on his part to expect the bride to help defer the cost since he initially offered it as a gift. Just my 2 cents.
Cindy
Well its more than Tacky to ask the bride to pay for half of her own gift. AND you are definitely not charging enough for the cake. I do have a few people that i give "breaks" to, but it is always at your discrection. You will be putting alot of time into this cake. You could always refer him to the "mart" to get a wedding cake for a much lower price, but also stating that the quality would be much lower as well.
He should NOT have called the bride and asked her to pay for half. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
My hubby fell into a similar trap with me and his BF's wedding. Hubby decided he wanted to 'gift' the flowers for his best friend's wedding. I used to do flowers and had done my cousin's wedding and he was impressed with the work I did - we weren't married at the time. Well, after he stuck his foot in his mouth, I let him know just how much the flowers would cost - buying wholesale at the LA flowermart. He was shocked - $500 bucks. But this is what I made for the bargain price - I did floral sprays onto hooks along stairwells and the aisle leading up to the gazebo for this garden wedding. Large sprays to cover the gazebo, large arrangements on the sides of the gazebo, pedestal arrangements on 20 tables, large centerpieces for the head table, large sprays for backdrop behind head table, plus large sprays on street lanterns at sides of head table. Oh, and of course the brides bouquet, bridal party flowers - there were five bridesmaids, groommen, parents, grandparents, flower girls, ring bearers. It was a huge wedding party. Retail value would have been an easy $2000 order for anyone else. His buddy was exremely appreciative and kept going on and on about the flowers. I was starting to get a little worried that the wife didn't like the flowers - they were beautiful - because she never thanked me nor said anything about how they looked. To do this day actually and it's been a couple of years - I don't think she ever said she liked them. Anyway, everyone else at the wedding was super appreciative, including her family. And not to toot my horn, but they were absolutely beautiful.
Sorry about my rant, but your story reminded me of the 'gift' and I know all about people expecting deals just because they are family or close friends. Luckily, most of my friends insist on paying full price, plus tipping. For cookies and cakes that is. No more flowers for me. There is no time for advance work. It's hard, hard work, 24 hours prior to a large event.
I think your price is totally fair and wouldn't worry about what your BIL is doing, just so long as you get paid. It's wrong that he's handling things this way, but it sounds like it's out of your hands. I'd just be sure that you get paid in advance so that you don't have to worry about being short changed. He probably had no idea what to expect moneywise when he hired you to make the cake. Men especially don't have a clue about things like wedding cakes, at least most of them don't. The bride may be more understanding than you think when he asks for help.
If the bride's not able to pay half, then I'd let them know that you can't make the cake for $150 and give them some other options. Good luck! 
He probably should have asked you or done the research BEFORE he told the bride that he'd pay for the cake. If he truely cannot afford it, then he might have to ask for help-maybe someone else could go in with him on the cost (friend, relative)
ngarza07~ Now doing flowers.....that's a lot of work! Still no call about the flowers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're kidding me! OOHHHHH 
My second wedding cake, I never did get a call back from the bride or the MOB. I met with them and gave them samples and discussed design ideas and NOTHING!!!!!!!! I hate that!!!!!!!!
Well, the bride is going to pay half! My BIL is mailing me a check for half and then the bride will write me a check for the rest!!!!! I feel like I am robbing THEM for goodness sakes!!!!!!! I told him that he'd be lucky to find a fondant cake starting out for less than $3.00 a serving.
I'm just inspired NOW to really make this a showcase cake so he'll finally GET IT that cakes CAN cost that much!
Thank you all so very much for your encouragement!!!!! I feel that I am doing the right thing by sticking to the price!! An opportunity like this doesn't come along all the time!
Now for another thread about on-site set up!!!!
Amy
OK, Amy, I just have to say this: your BIL is being cheap, cheap, cheap!
This is a quote from salary.com:
The median expected salary for a typical Pharmacist in the United States is $95,252.
Golly, 3 monthly prescriptions for Lipitor would cover the cost of the cake, for pity's sake.
You gave him a GREAT deal--don't feel badly and don't go in the hole "educating" him on the value of well decorated cakes!
Rae
That's exactly why I mentioned he was a pharmacist!!!!!!! HELLO!!!!!!!! He makes a little over twice what my husband makes being a first class petty officer in the Navy! Hey, when I first met my husband and his brothers 13 years ago, the BIL in question here, was too cheap to spring for extra cheese on a bean burrito from T-Bell!!! Now if THAT ain't bad.......!!!!!
There is a running joke in the family as to how cheap he is!
Amy
Honey, stick with your price! If nothing else, encourage him to "shop around"! There is no way that he is going to find one anywhere near that price for the work you are putting into it!
You gave him a very good price on the cake. This is HIS GIFT, not yours! I can't believe that he offered to pay for the cake and then asked the bride to go havsies (I know this is not a word and if it was I am sure I spelled it wrong). That IS tacky!
If my mother were alive she would say "He has no couth!"
I just hope that the bride likes the cake and will think it's worth $300! Shoot, labor alone should be $300! Not to mention mental stress and sleep deprivation......but don't get me wrong.....I thrive on doing cakes that test my abilities! I eat it up!!!!!! Well NOT really!!!
Amy
Thank you all so much for your support!!!!!!
"She seemed to be pretty much OK with it. I mean, how can you get such a wonderful cake for only $150 anywhere?!"
THAT IS A DIRECT QUOTE FROM AN EMAIL I JUST GOT FROM MY BIL!!!!! I HAD ASKED HIM HOW THE BRIDE REACTED TO HIS REQUEST!!!
I THINK SOMEONE IN THE FAMILY THAT I'VE TALKED TO ABOUT THIS CLUED HIM IN. PROBABLY HIS WIFE!!!!!
Amy
I'm glad you stuck with your price..It was wrong that he asked the bride but it makes me look bad not you cause he offered..Why is it that people that make lots of money are the cheap ones..
Your BIL cracks me up! Sad, though. He should be ashamed of himself.
Note to self:
Never deal with a third party.
Find out what the size and complexity is of the completed cake, quote the price, then figure any discounts, ingredients charge, or free cake.--Thank goodness it didn't end up being a $600 cake!
Get a contract and deposit up front--especially for friend or family.
Just making up my policy for future Wedding Cakes.
Update~I just recieved another email from BIL and he admitted that he "goofed up"! He admitted that he should have done research on wedding cakes to see what these things cost!!! He knows now that he's getting a good deal! I have to call the bride today and he asked me not to mention the cost issue with her as she is "well aware" of the cost!!! He said he was "embarassed"! That's all I needed!!!!
You all have been so supportive!!!!!! Thank you!
Amy
And he should be embarassed!! I can imagine a man not understanding the cost of a wedding cake - but he should have asked another friend or someone going to the wedding to split the cake cost with him - NOT THE BRIDE!!! Not if it's going to be a gift. Who else makes the bride pay for half of her gift? ooh I'd love to get you some China, but could you pay for half? Ooh I was going to buy you a blender....but could you pay for half?? Oh Oh - was going to get you both a gift certificate to a nice restaurant - you wouldn't mind paying for half, would you? WHAT WAS HE THINKING? (of course, he wasn't thinking at all - that's the problem)
Last I heard pharmacists were making $100,000 right out of school. Your brother in law is being CHEAP AND TACKY.
I worked in a custom frame shop and some people are horrified to discover what the price of custom framing really costs -- it's because they've never priced it anywhere else.
You should not IN THE LEAST BIT feel guilty. Three hundred dollars just for the cake is reasonable -- and you're doing fondant or gumpaste flowers....this is the best deal wherever you're living.
I think a lot of people (especially men, no offense to any here) just see a box of cake mix in the store for $1.50 or whatever and think that a big cake couldn't possibly be more than $50, I mean how much could all that stuff really cost, when that $1.50 will make a whole birthday cake?! I really don't think they realize what goes into a wedding cake, or even a specialty birthday cake. He was probably thinking it would run $30 or $40.
imartsy~
He actually thought it would cost $125!! He might as well flip me a quarter!!! 
The pressure's on now!!!!!! Ya'll are definately gonna want to see a spectacular cake now huh!!!!!! I hope I can come through! I'm very excited to get started but will have to wait a bit yet!
Amy
I think your price is fair, but asking for the bride and groom to pay half...that's just wrong!!
Is his name Mr. Crab ? He is not only ignorant, he is a cheapskate.. how sad. 
makes my heart bleed knowing that there are people like him that really exist.very sad 
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