Free Cake?? Are You Kidding Me??!?!?!?
Decorating By mizshelli Updated 23 May 2007 , 7:49pm by apclassicwed
So my daughter has been helping me make all the cakes lately, and she found out her best friend is having a birthday party on Sunday. So my daughter, being the little business guru she is, told her friend that we would make her cake and not to have her mom order one. Well, her frind called yesterday and said yes, she wants Missy to make her cake for her, but her mom won't pay for it........what??!?!?!?!?! Since when do you get free cake??? Her mom wants the cake for free!!! I almost said no, but Melissa said that it IS her best friend, and she is moving in August and she wants to give this cake to her for a gift. Fine with me, I trust my daughter. It just INCENSED me that this woman wouldn't have paid for that cake! Where else is she going to get a free cake? She is getting married in August so I hope she doesn't expect a free wedding cake, she won't get it from me......
I would consider the cake a birthday present from your daughter to her friend and have your daughter NOT bring a conventional birthday present. It is quite irritating that the MOTHER wouldn't at least OFFER to pay for it or at least talk to you about the plans the CHILDREN are organizing. Geesh some people.
I agree....the cake should suffice as the gift since it is being made as a gift. Don't feel bad that you can't get a conventional gift as well....I would think that the cake you and your daughter are making is worth more than a gift you would buy and best friend will always remember the "coolest" cake she ever had!!!
I wonder if there might have been some miscommunication between your daughter and her friend or her friend and her friend's mother? When your daughter told her friend to tell her mom not to order and cake and that should would make the cake, it would certainly sound like it might have been a gift, unless she made sure to tell her friend that they would have to pay for the cake. Or maybe when the friend told her mom about the cake, maybe she forgot to mention that she would have to pay for it. So I don't know if I would get upset with them for thinking the cake would be for free if it wasn't mentioned to them that they would have to pay for one or someone forgot to communicate it.
I assumed her mom did know, maybe I'm wrong. She did have one of my business cards so I'm wondering if she just wasn't planning on having a cake at all......
I think your last idea could be possible! But, you know what! Little girls are scheming all the time and they might have said some things or misinterpreted what the other mom said. I wouldn't take it so personal and you are doing the right thing by not getting a present on top of it! Good for you!
I have to agree. The other Mom may not have gotten all of the information. My kids were always good at leaving something out. Her daughter may have just said that your daughter was bringing the cake and left it at that. Like you said, maybe she wasn't planning on having a cake or maybe just a simple cake. I also agree with everyone else that the cake is the present. I wouldn't make anything too involved either! Good Luck!!!
when i started reading the post. thats what entered my mind. that your daughter offered, so there would be no charge.
maybe you could downsize the cake to keep the cost down. or tell the mom to make cupcakes to go with.
i wouldnt want your daughter to be upset, since she offered.
I'm with some of the other posters...when it's children passing the messages from another, things are easily confused! How about maybe doing a sheet cake with a FBCT?! That would keep the costs down...a couple cake mixes (WalMart has DH for about 93 cents) and a bag of powdered sugar (1.27at WalMart). That way you could still do the cake and keep down costs, your daughter will be happy and not only get more experience doing cakes but she can do something for her best friend, and you won't have to worry about buying a "traditional" gift. I love doing cakes or cookie bouquets as gifts. I usually have most (if not all) the ingredients on hand and I don't have to worry about spending money on a gift they may not like, never use, etc...I'm a SAHM so I like finding ways to cut costs. HTH. Jodie
i think jodie's idea is great. this way the cake can still be made as a gift without it costing a fortune. Sounds like a miscommunication between your daughter and her friend. Who knows maybe the mother said she woulndn't pay because she can't afford it. Although, it is a bit odd that she wouldn't have called you to discuss it when her daughter told her this.
I've thought about your dilemma while making dinner and baking a cake tonight, I'm sorry that your DH said no-way. I still think it would be a good idea to go ahead and make a cake instead of the B-day gift. It really could cost about the same amount of a gift, if it was simple. You said that your daughter has been helping you bake cakes. Couldn't she help alot with this cake, making it really from her? Might be a good time to let her practice. Maybe even making some figures out of candy clay for the cake? It was just a thought. I wouldn't want your daughter to be embarassed about not bringing the cake when she said she would. After all, you never said what kind of cake!! Good Luck!!!
DH put his foot down? huh? Interesting concept.
well, he got really mad about it. I'm gonna make her a cake, but it's not gonna be anything fancy. I'm pretty sure Melissa wants to make it anyway. He just got mad cuz he sees me buying all these groceries to make cakes and we really can't afford them, he thinks there is more cake stuff than real food in the house....not the case, but hey, what can I say you know?? lol
DH put his foot down? huh? Interesting concept.
well, he got really mad about it. I'm gonna make her a cake, but it's not gonna be anything fancy. I'm pretty sure Melissa wants to make it anyway. He just got mad cuz he sees me buying all these groceries to make cakes and we really can't afford them, he thinks there is more cake stuff than real food in the house....not the case, but hey, what can I say you know?? lol
Well, I can see where your hubby is coming from and you as well about the money. You should probably call her best friend's mother to see what the conversation was exactly. That way you won't be in the clouds if they are expecting something totally different from what was said. Also, that can allow you to explain to her mother that you aren't asking her to pay for your time but for the supplies and if she wants something fancy, she can pay for the fancy supplies. If she doesn't say much about it or if she doesn't have any suggestions, you could do a plain box cake with borders and a happy birthday message. That shouldn't be expensive at all.
Veronica
DH put his foot down? huh? Interesting concept.
well, he got really mad about it. I'm gonna make her a cake, but it's not gonna be anything fancy. I'm pretty sure Melissa wants to make it anyway. He just got mad cuz he sees me buying all these groceries to make cakes and we really can't afford them, he thinks there is more cake stuff than real food in the house....not the case, but hey, what can I say you know?? lol
Well, I can see where your hubby is coming from and you as well about the money. You should probably call her best friend's mother to see what the conversation was exactly. That way you won't be in the clouds if they are expecting something totally different from what was said. Also, that can allow you to explain to her mother that you aren't asking her to pay for your time but for the supplies and if she wants something fancy, she can pay for the fancy supplies. If she doesn't say much about it or if she doesn't have any suggestions, you could do a plain box cake with borders and a happy birthday message. That shouldn't be expensive at all.
Veronica
I agree with Veronica and the others before.
Have you asked your daughter what type of cake she wants to make? To get her story first.
Then I think you should contact the parent and just check to make sure what her expectations are.
I would be very clear that your daughter will be making the cake for her daughter. So it will not be made by you. You just want to make that clear. You will of course help, but the design and the cake will be from your DD.
So if she wants something specific, then she better let you know because you can only afford to give so much as this will be your DD gift to her DD.
If she wants something special or fondant or whatever, I would just say that your DD is not ready for that kind of stuff. I would then say it will be a great cake with BC and it will be made with love.
This way I think the girls will not be dissapointed and will work out all around.
Also I think a nice homemade card to go along with the cake might be in order with a picture or 2 of your DD making the cake as a memory, if you can print them at home it's cheaper and faster too!
Good Luck
DH put his foot down? huh? Interesting concept.
well, he got really mad about it. I'm gonna make her a cake, but it's not gonna be anything fancy. I'm pretty sure Melissa wants to make it anyway. He just got mad cuz he sees me buying all these groceries to make cakes and we really can't afford them, he thinks there is more cake stuff than real food in the house....not the case, but hey, what can I say you know?? lol
Well, I can see where your hubby is coming from and you as well about the money. You should probably call her best friend's mother to see what the conversation was exactly. That way you won't be in the clouds if they are expecting something totally different from what was said. Also, that can allow you to explain to her mother that you aren't asking her to pay for your time but for the supplies and if she wants something fancy, she can pay for the fancy supplies. If she doesn't say much about it or if she doesn't have any suggestions, you could do a plain box cake with borders and a happy birthday message. That shouldn't be expensive at all.
Veronica
I agree with Veronica and the others before.
Have you asked your daughter what type of cake she wants to make? To get her story first.
Then I think you should contact the parent and just check to make sure what her expectations are.
I would be very clear that your daughter will be making the cake for her daughter. So it will not be made by you. You just want to make that clear. You will of course help, but the design and the cake will be from your DD.
So if she wants something specific, then she better let you know because you can only afford to give so much as this will be your DD gift to her DD.
If she wants something special or fondant or whatever, I would just say that your DD is not ready for that kind of stuff. I would then say it will be a great cake with BC and it will be made with love.
This way I think the girls will not be dissapointed and will work out all around.
Also I think a nice homemade card to go along with the cake might be in order with a picture or 2 of your DD making the cake as a memory, if you can print them at home it's cheaper and faster too!
Good Luck
love the card and photo idea. also, of your daughter decorating it-
Oh, the dangers of children passing messages! I recently made a cake for my DD's teacher and took it to school. That day, DD came home and told me so-and-so was having a birthday two days later and she didn't care what kind of cake it was as long as it was a butterfly!!! 
I had to explain that mommies and daddies have to call me and order cakes, that I can't do them all for free!!
I agree with the previous posters. Let your DD make something simple. The photo idea is great! That way she can still give her friend a special gift without raising DH's blood pressure! 
This is so hard when kids go and make plans. It seems a given- no matter what they understand and respect about talking to grownups first before connivingsomething.
My own policy, having 10 niecs and nephews and tons of family/siblings who seem to have the same 'disease' lol- I want to confirm something, I go to the source. The younger the messenger, the more mixed up or miscommunicated the message. Usually. Seems awkward maybe, to have to go to the mom, after some hard feelings felt about an assumed freebie.
But it's worth it in the end.
I agree with Gateaux and some others who suggested since it was your daughter who made the plans, it sounds like it already is 'her' project- and it would be more meaningful I think as a send-off present to her best friend, to make the cake herself (mostly). And so it would not be expected that the level of decoration would amount to something out of reach financially obviously. But to avoid any situation, I would talk to the mom and make sure she understands your daughter wanted to make the cake so she doesnt get this possibly crazy idea that she'll be getting a 300 dollar cake free of charge. (Example, last year for Mother's day I helped/directed my niece and nephew -2 and 6 at the time- to make their mom a cake. The homemade card touch I think is a good idea also- as it is a gift from your daughter to her friend).
Good luck!
I have to agree with most everyone here that it might have been some miscommunication. She probably thought it was a gift. I know your daughter was behind this but I dont know if you can tell someone not to order a cake from somewhere else, but from you instead and make them pay for it. Even so, it probably would have been nice if the mother had contacted you to find out what was going on.
oooooh, children are wonder little mis communicators aren't they? lol! 
But seriously let your DD make her simple cake with minimal help of course, but I would drop a call to the other little girls Mom "just to make sure" your daughter's present cake will be well excepted and she knows what the heck is going on. You know like "I just wanted to make sure it's O.K for little so-so to bring her cake for the party' type thing ya know? The Mom may be expecting a 9 year olds little box cake, not a pro cake. And she may well still up the supplies money after talking to you. Never know.
I definitely think the mom should have contacted you. It's nice to see the girls are so close but since they are still so young she should have called you making sure it was a gift before saying they would accept the offer. Also, are you sure the friend actually told her mom? I have had my nephew say "yeah my mom said its ok" and then when I talk to my sister she has no clue. Talk to the mom, it might be a terrible mixup.
It doesn't sound like your daughter and her friend are young children. You made a comment that the friend (or the daughter - couldn't really tell from the sentence - doesn't matter either way) was getting married in August. That's old enough to get a story straight and communicate properly
I would pick up the phone and call the girl's mother. I'd tell her your daughter mentioned you making the cake and you wanted to just touch base with her about it. See what she responds.
You could say something like 'I need to know what kind of cake you wanted so I can be sure to place an order for you.' At that point, depending on what she says, - or you can just keeping going and add 'my prices for a basic cake start at...'. If you want to do it at cost you can add 'but since our daughters are such close friends, I'd be happy to do it at my cost which is....'.
I think the key to this business is to be assertive and confident because there are always those around you that are expecting one thing or another for little to nothing. Most people don't realize what goes into making a cake. If your daugther wants to help, even better!
ASK THE MOM!!
This is a little more trouble, but, I can never do anything SIMPLE! LOL How about if DD gets pics of the girls that are going to be at the party, use self laminating paper (Wally World), put them on the cake and then decorate around the pics like picture frames. That would be simple designs and be a really personal cake.
I'm sure it will be a great cake anyway. I have a 15 year old in my cake class this month and I LOVE the ideas that come from this child's brain! She is a budding decorator!
Beth in KY
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