A friend of mine called me with a question about etiquette. I personally don't see anything wrong with it...but I thought I would ask and get some opinions.

My friend's wedding is for approximately 350 people. She is going to have a smaller wedding cake and then sheet cakes. She really likes the look of fondant, but the bakery she was talking to was trying to discourage her from choosing fondant.

Her question was this...if her wedding cake is fondant, do the sheet cakes also have to be fondant? Is it rude to serve buttercream cakes when the actual wedding cake is fondant? Would the guests be offended if they knew that they weren't getting a slice of the 'real' wedding cake because there was no fondant on it? What is considered proper etiquette for this type of situation?

TIA!!

I wouldn't see anything wrong with it. A lot of places peel the fondant off before they cut and serve the cake.

If someone is going to be offended by this, they have way-y-y too thin a skin! As long as I got my piece of cake, I could care less if it was from the "real" cake.

Personally, i don't think anyone would even notice, unless the person right next to you got the fondant and you didn't. As long as the sheets are made to the same height as the wedding cake, so if the wedding cake has 3 layers of cake and two layers of filling the sheet should have that too.

I really don't think anyone would notice or care. A lot of wedding have sheet cakes served in addition to the "real" cake.

I don't think this is a big deal either. Could it be that the bakery just doesn't want to do the fondant in the first place? I think that it is her wedding thus it's her decision, and if the bakery is being snotty she should find another one.

Kitchen cakes are fairly common, and I've never really heard of guests comparing slices or anything. No big deal. Sounds like the bakery just doesn't want to have to deal w/ the fondant.

Unless you are the bride or the person paying for the cake how could you be offended by the wedding cake (unless it was pornographic!).Most people peel off the fondant anyway. Maybe the bakery is not comfortable working with fondant.

It sounds like the bakery isn't willing to work with the bride, and she's the one paying! I'd recommend checking other bakeries.

I agree with the other posters who said that it sounds like the bakery is trying to get away from fondant (whatever their reasons) and that's why they're dissauading her. She should go somewhere else where the
baker(y) is more willing to give her better service.

My humble opinion is that they don't want to work with fondant for whatever reason (new staff inexperienced with fondant maybe?).....they just need to decline her order.

She is the bride and should get fondant if she wants it and is willing to pay the extra charge for it.

O.k.. Guests will be more "offended" if she uses unfilled flat sheet cakes (the aluminum pan ones) while others are getting a real slice of filled wedding cake (double-layer). There was a GREAT article on this in American Cake Decorating within the last year or two. All guests should be treated the same. HOWEVER, when it comes to the fondant coating, versus just buttercream, she only needs to put that on her main centerpiece/photo cake. Yes, some places peel the fondant off before doing the serving, but for the most part, they don't because it's more work to peel it off than letting the guests decide if they want to eat it or not.

As for the bakery discouraging her from using fondant, when we got married pretty much every single bakery we talked with was trying to do so with us. The only one who completely didn't discourage it, she priced it at $3.00/slice JUST for the fondant, added to the $3.50/slice she was already charging .

She's got to decide what she wants to do, but it's not a big deal if she doesn't have fondant on the kitchen cakes the key is that the cake still looks like a slice of WEDDING cake and not something for a kiddie party or graduation.

nothing wrong with that to me...it would proably also save her some money too doing it that way.... 350 guests is a lot of cake.

Did anyone consider the bakery wants her to choose a larger cake? One that's all in fondant and might feed 350 (or even multiple layers or satalite cakes) in order to charge more?

My first thought when I read the initial post is that it was bad ettiquite for the bakery to try and discourage the bride from what she wants. It's her day. She has to live the rest of her life compromising with her husband (and maybe even on the wedding issues), she shouldnt have to compromise with a lazy or expensive bakery. You're getting paid for the work you do. Do what your customer wants instead of trying to convince them of something else, especially on their wedding cake.

I think the MOB needs to slab some since into that baker.

I don't think there is an issue at all, many cake shoppes actually OFFER this as an alternative to full size wedding cakes, I've heard them referred to as "kitchen cakes"., etc. Your friend is very sweet to worry about offending anyone at her wedding, but tell her all should be well, it's very common to have bc sheetcakes..by the time the "real" cake is cut up for servings, no one will have any idea anyway, b/k a wedding serving is so small .

I don't see a problem with that

Thank you so much for all the replies. I didn't think it would be a big deal either, but I wanted to ask just to be sure. I will be sure to mention the height/layers issue to her. I'll also raise a red flag about that particular bakery and encourage her to look elsewhere.

Thank you so much!

Okay, my cousin did this at her wedding. She had a nice cake that was like a ocean theme (going to Sandels for their honeymoon) and right next to this nice wedding cake was the 9x13 alum. pans that you find beat up in an old lady's kitchen w/the cheap cake they were feeding the guests. It was tacky. I have seen nice big sheet cakes next to the wedding cake for the quests and thought nothing of it, but hers was bad. So if she wants to go that route make sure they at least match the wedding cake and maybe have individual rosebuds or something on the pieces, so the guests still feel somewhat special.

I am in agreement to sheet "kitchen" cakes be at least 2 layers. So that the guests don't feel offended. I am dealing with my dil to be and the same question.

First off, I must say - shame on that bakery for discouraging your friend, especially when their whole portfolio was fondant cakes. Sometimes I just don't understand businesses - do they want the business or not? If they don't, they should tell your friend.
Secondy, I don't think it matters. I went to a wedding last summer where they had a fondant wedding cake, and then several sheet cakes. I must say, the sheet cakes were WAY more popular than the actual wedding cake. The majority of people don't like fondant, so if your friend wants people to eat the cake, she should go with the buttercream.

I've done sheet cakes with wedding cakes, and they're fine. I do them in a slightly less decorated style than the main cake, but with a matching design/theme/colors, and they are 2 layers, where the wedding cake is 4, but the final cakes are still all about 4" to 4-1/2" deep, so they don't seem that much different. No complaints, and the brides get a bit of a deal on the less expensive sheet cakes.

i don't think that most guests will even notice where the cake comes from as long as everyone is served the same cake. Most guests are to busy mingling and drinking to notice if a cake came from the kitchen or not. Most weddings I have been to, if the actual cake is served it is moved after the bride and groom cut the 1st slice to the kitchen to be cut and plated anyhow.

In fairness to the Bakery we don't know the entire converstaion. There are reasons I would suggest to the Bride not to go with Fondant.