So, my sister is our black sheep, yeah, we all have them, and my family is pretty strict so when she brought home her girlfriend it didn't go over great. They were nice to the girl, let her stay in the house and all, but they just aren't tickled. So then my sister tells me they got "married" (I don't even think it is legal in this state, but hey).

Well, no one from the Family was invited to this wedding, and I don't think they had a reception because they couldn't afford one, etc. So, when she came home for a visit, I made them a small little "wedding cake" not that my parents know that was what it was, but my sister and her girlfriend did. So I dropped it off at my parents' house and left because it was late and I needed to sleep, etc. I didn't see my sister, and they left the next morning....Well it has been two months now, and I didn't get a thank you, it was pretty, it was ugly, it tasted like horse crap, nothing...Mom and dad had some of it and they swear it was good, but nothing from my sister or her girlfriend....

Just show's the real reason she's the black sheep, no manners...What is so hard about picking up the phone and saying "thanks" (I'd even take "I hated it") But at least acknowledge you even got it..... Some people

Sorry to rant, but I went out of my way to make it for her to acknowledge her "wedding" and show her some support and seems like it is completely unappreciated...

That stinks You would think your own sister could find a minute for a quick phone call, email or whatever to say thanks. It was nice of you to make the cake for them though, just shows your the better person

It does hurt when you feel unappreciated by family. I made a birthday cake for my sister. She looked distinctly underwhelmed when I presented it to her. I never had any feedback afterwards. I said nothing - just won't be in a hurry to make anymore cakes for her. It is hard not to keep wondering about it. Was she on a diet and I gave her cake? Who knows. She gives nothing away.

Maybe we can take my brother and your sister and send them to sea in a rowboat.

My brother and I were raised the same way but we are so different when it comes to manners, etc

Unfortunately, there are a lot of self-absorbed individuals in our society (and our families).

I'm sure the cake was wonderful, otherwise you probably would have heard about it.

Like a lot of people, your sister and some of my relatives aren't always ungrateful - they're just thoughtless and don't take the time to say thanks. (Think it's a case of out of sight, out of mind.)

Hopefully, when you see her again - she'll tell you how great the cake was and how much it meant to her and her significant other.

Thanks guys! I was just boiling because I had talked to her a few days ago (for about the second time since I made the cake, so you can see we're not close) and she never mentioned it....ERGH.

But, I think the kicker is she tells me, and everyone we know, that I"M the insensitve one, and I never cry, and I never show emotion, etc. Yet SHE can't even say a simple thank you...and I was pretty proud of that cake...it wasn't great but it wasn't bad....had roses and vines and leaves, etc. and I wiped out my whole Saturday doing it for her because they came up unexpectedly and were leaving before church on Sunday, (so the left before I even got to the farm..)


Some people...Too bad there isn't a boat we can put our "thoughtless" realatives on....It' would fill up quick and we'd need a few extra boats.... There's a reason she's the black sheep and it has nothing to do with who she dates!

Thanks again guys!

Hmmm...do you think your sis realized that you actually dropped off the cake at night? With them leaving in the morning, maybe they didn't get to see the cake or even realized that you dropped it off in the middle of the night (maybe your sister's still waiting for that cake you said that you baked for them)?

That's definitely frustrating.

Did you think of maybe mentioning to her that you are and were hurt by her not saying a word about it?

It seems like she felt comfortable enough with you as a sister and a friend to confide in you about the marriage in the first place so it's odd that once you shared in her joy and presented her with a thoughtful handmade gift she wasn't responsive.

It seems like it bothers you enough to mention it and I know deep down perhaps you wish she was not, in fact, the black sheep to you at least. She's family and you only get one family! Maybe it's worth opening up to her and mentioning it. The worst she could say is maybe "Oh yeah, we got it but I didn't think a mention of it was necessary" which you're already expecting! It just depends on what you think would "sting" more. The potential words she could say or the silence.

Did you ever think to say something to her? Just remember, there's always more than one way to say what you mean to say. Maybe you'd feel a lot better if you called her and said:

I feel __________ when you ________ So in the future, please_________

She shouldn't get mad because by phrasing it this way, you are not accusing - you are just letting your feelings be known. You'll probably feel better and in the future she will likely offer a "thanks", or an "I really appreciate it" without hesitation. Maybe she just doesn't realize that you're upset because she honestly thinks you are immune to feeling anything. Maybe never got a "thanks" because she felt you wouldn't need one?

People are funny. Don't hold a grudge - how does the saying go? "Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping the other person falls ill."

No grudge, just wanted to vent. I know I could talk to her, but if I do and she does say "oh yeah, thanks" it just seems shallow, like I had to go fising for it. I wasn't looking for a compliment, just found it odd that she wouldn't at least say thanks. But then, I opened my appartment to her and her GF at Christmas and I never got a "thanks, I had a good time" then either....Maybe she just lacks manners...I'm family, so no need to be nice type deal??? IDK. Just agrivating.

I've found that many people don't get excited over cakes at all. Maybe with everything going on in her life she simply forgot about it.

I would call or email and say "Oh by the way, did you get the cake I sent you? " Once she says yes I bet she will thank you for it. Most likely just slipped her mind.

Or maybe she doesn't know you made it? Maybe she thinks it was bought?

Give her the benefit of the doubt and just ask her if she liked it.

Just to play devil's adovcate, but what if she didn't even know the cake was supposed to be a 'wedding' cake? If you didn't see her and your parents aren't all too pleased about the 'wedding', maybe no one even thought/want to say to them that it was a wedding cake.

Or, she could just be an ill-mannered goofhead

IMHO - in a perfect world all people say please and thank you, but I would also never make something and then go looking for a thank-you. Just seems to defeat the purpose. I'd let it go - and if you are really bothered by it, just don't kill yourself making something for them in the future.

Family can be a pain sometime. I have a sister-in-law that expected her brother (my husband) to apologize to her for something that happened in a dream. She gave us dirty looks all day. (It was a few days after my father-in-law had died suddenly, and she was in town for the funeral.) What a nut case.
I feel for you, and wish the situation was different.

This may sound wierd to some of you but, when no one mentiones the----whatever that I want feed back on, I do. I'm the one who wants to know, I'm the one whose feelings get hurt if no one says anything, so I bring the subject up usually with a comment like. "Alright already, I need feed back!" My family always comes through when prompted, but they usually need to be prompted. In a perfect world, no prompting needed. But my world isn't perfect, nor are my relatives. But they are nice people who say nice things even if you have to nudge them a bit.

Yes, being a "white" sheep in the family can be frustrating. My sister lives in the past and "woe is me" attitude just ticks me off. I'm 40 and she's 34 and it still hasn't changed. When she calls to say "hello", it's 30 minutes of all about her and 1 or 2 questions about how I'm doing and then she interupts while I'm answering. I always feel deflated after I talk to her, so I tend to let the calls roll to voicemail if I'm not up to it that day!

i would ask her about it!! I did a catering job almost a year ago for a bank function. They were new customers and I went above and beyond to impress them (made a seperate dessert for the diabetics, and much more) I delivered it early and everything went great, then I never heard anything else. I know that I got paid for it, but I still thought that a phone call or card would have been nice. I worked my butt off and I have no clue if they liked it! Maybe if I had called and asked then I would be over it by now!!

Thanks you guys, for trying to find the bright side... She really is an ill mannered goof!

When they made the trip up, it was like a week after they got married. So, I didn't even know they got married until that weekend, Saturday morning.

So I was happy for them and said, "Oh, I'll make you guys a wedding cake since you didn't get one. What's your favorite color?" The girlfriend said green. So I told them I would go make the cake.

I made a monochromatic light/pastel green cake with roses and vines, etc. Chocolate mouse filling. I brought it to the farm (and I live all of 10 minutes from the farm and I lease a barn from my parents to train and breed horses, etc so I'm there twice a day every day, and all day a lot of the time....) So, I brought it to the farm and they were test driving her car (it was late "er" as I had spent about 4 hours on the cake on top of normal chores), because it turns out the real reason she came up was to have dad help her with the brakes or something. So I needed to get back home, I was tired, I just left the cake, dad took a few pics, and they cut it that night...Maybe she's mad they had to share it with my parents? Anyway, I asked my mom how it was and she said it was awesome (they love the chocolate/chocolate mouse cake) and that my sis and her girl took it home with them. She said they liked it.

I'm not looking for whether it was good, I've made it about 20 times now and I know it is good. I just think it is so rude not to say thanks or anything, at least acknowledge the darn thing. I just wanted to vent that she didn't say anything about it or even acknowledge it, and I'm not hurt as much as I'm amazed at how rude she is (shouldn't be, I grew up with her).

I definitely won't be in a mad rush to make her another anything.....but, I won't bring it up specifically. Her lack of manners isn't a huge deal, just so darn rude to the family...I wish she could see that, instead she thinks we're the red-necks....