I want to say first off I respect everyone and there own beliefs. I was brought up with no religion. I went to church and youth group as a teen but have never been practicing you can say.......So here is the story. I am married and have a daughter that I have not baptised. And oh yes have I heard that she will be stuck and limbo and we are going to hell for not doing it. Today I went my nieces first communion and at the luncheon I was standing with my mother inlaw and my sister in laws mother inlaw. My mother inlaw said "well you know even though you have picked godparents they cannot be called godparents because you have not baptised her" .........my jaw hit the ground. This is funny because I just read about the Pope and baptism in the paper. I am not opposed to finding faith nor do I not believe in god. It is just I am still searching for the fit for all my beliefs. SIGH......
It just made me sad that as Catholic as they try to be they are not practicing either. They go on holidays and such but not every Sunday. So I have another communion on Saturday and I am dreading being bullied. I have to say that my sisters mother inlaw chimed in to defend me. She said for her to leave me alone because at least I believe and that is all that matters. SIGH......
My children are 6th generation of the Catholic Church I was born in. My husband was a altar boy when he went to Catholic school. We are no longer practicing Catholics for reasons I won't go into here. I only share this background so you'll know that I understand the environment you are in.
When I was 16, I had a little brother born who died when he was 3 months old. He never left the hospital. The Bishop of the Archdiocese himself (sp?) came to the hospital and did the baptism. He told my parents, "If a child can't get into heaven, then what chance do the rest of us have?" This was over 30 years ago, way before the recent Pope decision.
My husband and I do not believe that our God would deny a child, the most innocent of His creations, access to His house because of a decision the child's parents made or didn't made. Baptism is acknowledging your sin and accepting Jesus Christ ..... something you can't do when you're 6 weeks old. A baptism and acceptance of your religion should not be done "for show" but for the real and true reasons of accepting the religion, whatever church or belief that may be.
Please do not stress on what "other people think". It only matters what God thinks. Last I heard, He was still the one making the rules! 
Just my ever so humble opinion .....
Me and my hubby aren't very religious - in the "commercial sense"... we have faith, but don't gp to church to prove it... anyways our kids have "godparents" and are even written into our wills... however, they are called "guardians"... we know that they will carry on raising our kids like we would should anything (touch wood) ever happen...
I think in these situations, that you do what is right for your kids and tell the rest to go jump. And lets face it... no one of any religion can dictate what is right or wrong... especially when they themselves are not impervious to wrong-doing themselves.
Just my opinion.
-- Fi
you know, you can baptize your child by yourself for now and then do the showy thing when you can. When my sons were little, before we took them to the formal baptism, I baptized them while giving them their baths, just to be safe.
Godparents aren't necessary. The church isn't necessary. Holy water isn't necessary. Even the priest isn't necessary. All that is necessary is water and the child. You say the words, "I baptize thee in the name of the father and of the son and of the holy ghost" and sprinkle the water on the baby.
I understand what kind of person you are talking about that casts judgment on you because of your decisions with your child's baptism. I think that she is probably mostly worried that her grandchild isn't baptized...but I can definitely see why it would make you uncomfortable. My best friend's mom is like that. It makes my friend so angry at times. Her son isn't baptized either and she doesn't want to baptize him. She wants him to make the decision himself when he gets older. Her mom also worries because she wasn't able to get married in the catholic church because her husband was divorced. That was the main thing that turned her off from the catholic church to begin with. There is alot of burocracy that goes on with the church.
I don't see any harm in baptizing him so why not go ahead if it will get your MIL off your back.
In short: Do what you think is right but also take into consideration what will be easier for everyone.
I beleive in an ALL-Loving God. How can an All-Loving God be so mean? Negative feelings and such are human feelings.... The Religions tend to make us fear to control the population.
Good books to read on that subject are those wrote by Sylvia Browne. She says that every Religion holds truth and lies. That we, ourselves must find the right fit for our beliefs. Never let others tell you what YOU should believe. I'm happier now, and at peace with everything.
Don't let what others think rule your life. I know a woman that got Baptized at 25, because she wanted a Catholic Wedding.
So if only Catholics that are Baptized go to Heaven there's a lot of people on this Earth that are doomed...
Think about it: ALL-LOVING GOD!!! No matter what!!!
Do whatever you feel is right for you and your family. I have my opinions about religion and how it should be practised but there is no point in doing anything just for the sake of it or to make other people happy. Do what makes you happy.
I couldn't have said it better myself. My DH & I are not religious at all, although we were both brought up Catholic. Our kids are not baptized nor do we go to church. (we have issues with organized religion of any sort) I refuse to tell my children what to believe when they can not understand the full implications of such beliefs (and this goes for all religious belief systems). When they are old enough to research and understand what it is that they're researching, they can choose whichever belief system they feel suits them the best, or none at all. We occasionally get grief from my in-laws about this, because they have a different view of the Catholic Church than we do. But I will not compromise my own beliefs just because others are telling me to do so. IMO, you need to stick to your guns and don't do something you're not comfortable doing simply because other people want you to.
I think you do need to have a long talk with your daughter (if you haven't already)about what your feelings and thoughts are on this issue, and ask for her input. I tend to think it will be enough to tell her that this is a personal decision that you want her to make for herself when she has a full understanding of the church and it's beliefs.
-Lisa
I was raised Catholic and now attend an Evangelical Friends church with my family. I won't go into all the reasons that I'm no longer Catholic, but I knew by the time I was getting ready for confirmation, that it wasn't for me. I don't believe for a second that God would turn away an innocent child. My kids haven't been baptized yet, I want them to make that decision when they get old enough to understand what they're doing. I have no worries at all about their souls should something terrible happen.
Do what you think is best for you and yours and try to ignore everyone else's opinion. (easier said than done) Don't let pressure from others force your hand in this issue. It's a very personal and private decision and no one but you and your DH have the right to make it.
If you just want to get everyone off your back, you could tell them that your daughter WAS baptized, they just weren't invited. 
I know what you're going through. Our kids have been baptized in the church but we don't go to church for anything other than funerals or weddings.
In our area the kids are confirmed in 3rd grade, the bishop changed it a few years ago so they don't have communion first, and my son is in 2nd so if he was going to be on schedule he should have started classes in the fall. My MIL is NOT happy with this and I know I'm going to hear about it next year when my cousin-in-law's boy who's the same age is confirmed.
We talked to our son about it and he told us straight out he didn't want to go because he's not religious (I just hope he never tells his grandma that or I'll never hear the end of it). I wasn't surprised, my kids aren't really sure if Christmas is because Jesus was born or because the days are getting longer after the winter solstice.
I know what family pressure is like, I thought about sending him just to keep my MIL happy but in the end we decided that it's our decision and he should be allowed to make his own religious decisions when he's older.
I read w/ interest the article about the Pope and baptizing babies. I am Southern Baptist and my husband is Methodist. As SB, we believe that babies are innocent and we don't believe in baptism until the child is old enough to profess his faith. SB's also believe in complete immersion. Methodists sprinkle. So my advice would be go with whatever you and your family feel comfortable with. 
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If you just want to get everyone off your back, you could tell them that your daughter WAS baptized, they just weren't invited.
Oh it crossed my mind! I don't have any issues with religion. I do think that she is six and too young really to understand what is being told to her. I look at it this way that she wonders about the smallest things in life so how can she possibly understand God. I can hear it now "what color is his house??"!!!
Thanks so much for all the support. I truly appreciate it!
I don't think that she will be stuck or that I am hell bound because of all this. I just have a hard time digesting all the limbo talk!
I lost a baby that lived for 30 hours. My father told me he baptized her. He is from the old catholic faith and thought he was doing what was needed to get her to heaven. I on the other hand was not happy. What great sins did she have? Then when she was suppose to be buried, all the church wanted to know about was how were we going to pay for the plot and the service. I was bedridden and not one priest came to see if I needed counceling. We live in a small community. This was my first disinvolvement with the catholic church. There were a few other important incidences after that made me decide that I alone can believe in who I want and do not need a money hungry group telling me what to believe. Tell your MIL that it is between you and your child's godparents as to whether or not they go by that name, not hers. If she is such a christian, then why is she acting in an unchristian manner? I firmly believe if you are a good, caring, and giving person, then you will be blessed with a resting place that is deserving of you. Not one person on this earth has any control of where you end up. Next time ask you MIL, "Who died and made you God?" One thing that I noticed at our church, the so called active church members are the first ones to critize how much money each person gives and who shows up for church and what they are wearing.
My children were baptized as babies, but we are not regular churchgoers, (which bothers my mother a lot, but she's learned to keep quiet on the matter). I wholeheartedly believe in God, and I thank Him for my blessings every night when I say my prayers. But I don't think that being in church every week makes you better than anyone else. I've known a few people who have had perfect attendance in church, but were the biggest hypocrites in the world. I belive you go to church to share God, not find God. He knows what's truly in my heart whether I'm in a pew or in my living room, and that's what really matters. I certainly hope that my children will have a faith that they embrace, but I will let it be their decision and choosing.
I really don't mean to sound so bitter about the Catholic Church, it's just every time I get any mail from them it is only asking for donations. If I thought it was actually going for the needy or the aged I wouldn't mind, but for some reason they keep remodeling the priest's quarters, relandscaping the church grounds, and hiring extra help instead of volunteers. I just believe in the old cathholic religion and feel it was more caring.
This is such a hard topic to discuss, especially when your family has lost a precious little life. My husband had a baby brother die shortly after birth when he was young. But we are LDS (mormon) and it's a comfort to us to believe that children are not accountable for sin and need no baptism. I remember my sister being outraged when she got married and some preacher told her that they really needed to consider baptizing their son (they're not LDS like my family is). And she took some comfort in my belief that babies are innocent in Heavenly Father's eyes, and don't need to be baptized.
I would like to thank everyone for their kind thoughts. I did not mean to turn the attention to my sorrows. I only wanted to express my feelings that a child is born with purity and innocence. I do not believe that anyone has the right to say that your child will not get to a better place if they are not baptized. I know that my child is with her grandparents and is waiting for her parents to one day be united again. I think about her daily and live to be good person to be able to be with her one day. It is a hard subject to discuss, but it is part of life and I feel strongly that everyone is entitled to their own beliefs no matter if it goes with the norm or not. I know there are quite a few very religious people on this site and I would never go against their beliefs. I do not feel that anyone has a right to tell someone else what to believe. I would hope that everyone lives to be the best person they can be and help others in any way they can. Please enjoy life and live life to the fullest, you never know what will happen.
I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot begin to imagine what it is like to bury a child. I never knew there were threads like this here. But since I came upon this I will speak for myself. It is my simple truth and not meant as anything other than my simple testomony.This is what I believe.
I believe in The Living God who loves me so much that He sent His only Son to die so that I might have eternal life. I am promised this gift of eternal life with God if I believe in my heart in Jesus Christ as His Son, born as a babe, put to death on a cross and risen on the third day. He died to pay the debt of my sins so that if I confess/admit my sins to Him, and I'm talking directly to Him not thru a priest or other intermediary (sp) and turn away from those sins I will be forgiven, and He will remember them no more. The Bible says that a child is innocent until he/she reaches an age accountability, where they are able to decide for themselves whether they will believe these things and accept the free gift of God's Son. I am confident that when a baby dies God takes that child home to be with Him. They are even more precious to Him than they are to us, though that is hard for us to imagine.
When my babies were very young we dedicated them to God before our church family and promised to raise them to know of Him and His Son and to love Him as He loves us. In my dh's familie's church this was called baptism. I agreed to do it as a dedication. Later when they were old enough to make their own decision each of my 3 kids asked Jesus to be the Lord of their heart and life. Two were later baptised. I am not afraid for my son who has not been baptised. Baptism to me is to show our profession of faith in Jesus, not to save me or determine where I will go after I die. It's not something I could decide for them. I am thankful for the decisions they made.
I find it very disturbing when I hear of "religious" people using the death of a child to pound home their beliefs of pergatory/limbo in the absence of baptism. In many cases that would tend to push a greiving parent further from believing in God's Son and His promises than anything. I am a Christain, a follower of Jesus Christ. I am not more special than anyone else, I am just forgiven. I don't try to push my beliefs on anyone. I try to live my faith every day to the best of my ability so that others will see Him in me. That is what God asks and expects of me. That is the most I can do.
Again I am so sorry for those of you who have suffered the loss of a child.
Sorry this turned out so long.
The Bible says that a child is innocent until he/she reaches an age accountability, where they are able to decide for themselves whether they will believe these things and accept the free gift of God's Son.
CarolAnn........love everything you said in your first paragraph. I also believe that, b/c of the sin of Adam/Eve....the rest of the mankind is born sinful, but that God provided Jesus to pay for those sins on our behalf. Our only part is trusting and believing that He did.
I would like to ask you where in the Bible it says that a child is innocent until reaching an age of accountability. Just curious what verse you might be referring to.
And for the mother who lost her baby at 30 hours.......No mother should ever have to endure the death of one of her children. I cannot imagine that kind of pain. My heart breaks for you, just thinking of it.
No words can ever express how I literally ache for moms who have to live through such a situation.
i am a catholic but i don't practice neither does my hubby he's all iffy about Catholic rules with he pointed out and i was amazed he was right it did not make sense at all. He wants to start to go to church for our children so that they can believe in something as he says but my oldest already knows about god and as she calls baby jesus.
I am a practicing Catholic and a good friend of mine lost 2 babies (one stillbirth one just after being born) and at BOTH the services the Priests (and they were different priests as her "normal" priest was caught in a storm and couldnt make it back).......said that there was NO DOUBT these babies were in heaven and that we didnt need to pray for them, as they were already there....rather we should pray for their family and friends who need comfort in this time of grief...... so yes there are some bad priests out there (and we certainly know that) but I know there are bad ones out there in every faith......but I think you have to do what feels right to you and your immediate family. My hubby isnt Catholic (he is Methodist) and yet when I go to his church I am always amazed at how similar everything is (same prayers etc).....sometimes I think we like to focus on our differences with regards to faith, when in reality most of us have the same or similar beliefs.
I can understand where you are coming from. Both of us were raised Catholic. My husband and family are one of those families at church who are involved in everything the church does, sits in the front (all 30 of them) (all together). At least until a few moved to neighboring towns. They are the readers. They deposit the collection. They sit on the church board. If they win at the boat, they donate 1/2. You know!
Now for me, I call myself Doubting Thomas. Don't misunderstand, I do believe, but not every written word or every interpretation. We don't go to church every week. I finally told my BIL a few weeks ago that we rarely go. MIL I think is wise to us and asks often, or reminds me of every holy day. I don't even know most of them exist. They have to attend mass even when out of town. If I didn't have mass at my wedding, they were going to leave my reception to go to mass.
I know I would never choose another religion, but I am more than willing to jump around until I find a priest I like. My husband and I have different views, but we have learned to support each others views.
Don't let people bully you into religion. It is your choice and I agree that your kids need to make their own decision. My son is getting First Communion Sunday and another kid in his class is getting baptised before Communion.
My husband went to a Catholic High School and the priests taught a more open view of religion. I am very thankful for that. Maybe it is all the years they have taught teenagers, but I truly love to attend one of their masses.
CarolAnn:
I totally agree with everything you said and couldn't have said it better myself. My husband and I have two teenagers. When they were newborn babies we had them dedicated but not baptized. We have always gone to church with them, but didn't push them to make a decision. When they were old enough to understand and make the decision on their own, then they were baptized but we never prompted them on anything but answered their questions when asked. I'm not Catholic, BTW and know very little about the Catholic Church.
There is an article about this very subject on the website of the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America. This is the link...(it's kinda long but I couldn't stop reading it)
http://www.goarch.org/en/ourfaith/articles/article7067.asp
I'm letting you know that this view is sided towards Eastern Orthodoxism, and doesn't grasp what most have stated here.....I respect others beliefs and am not a preacher in the least....I just wanted to share another view.
Just think I get to go to church today and hear the riot act again!
Thanks so much for everyones helpful words! It really does mean so much what everyone has said. Well..... wish me a good church day!
You know, in the past couple of years I have come to realize that some people impose their views relentlessly (not necessarily religion...just in general)....what I find works for me is yessing them to death.
Nod your head and smile. It's not worth arguing because those very people who don't respect your opinion will always try to prove they are right.
I thought I'd put in my thoughts. My children are ages 5, 4 and 1. They were just baptised this past Holy Saturday and it was wonderful. I grew up in a church (Methodist), my husband did not. His parents never spoke to him about religion and so forth. I unfortunately "lost my way" for awhile and stopped attending church. Well, this past fall when it was time to send our five year old to school we decided to send him to a private Catholic school because they had the most to offer. Well, the people at the school are wonderful and I began to meet other parents who are wonderful people as well. I began thinking if they were so great maybe the church would be equally as wonderful?! And my son was going to church weekly at school, he loved it and wondered why we weren't going as a family. So I decided to talk to the Deacon and he was so excited at the prospect of us joining the church. My husband and I started attending RCIA classes and going to church...we feel in love with the church, the people...it's been wonderful for our family. When the children were baptised, my husband was baptised as well and him and I had confirmation and 1st communion. It was a wonderful experience and I believe it happened at the perfect time in our lives.
I tell you this only because you said you haven't found the church right for you, yet. I believe if you want to find a church then God will lead you to the place you belong. It's what happened to us.
As for Limbo, the Catholic church did away with that concept about 30 years ago. Not sure why the Pope has brought it up again. We did recently talk about this in our class. We learned that people who have not been baptised can get into Heaven. If you have intentions of being Baptised but haven't yet done so is just one example.
We learned something else in our class that may come in handy. Apparently anyone can baptize another person. All you have to do it pour water on their heads and say "I baptize thee in the name of The Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit". This is a little known fact, our Deacon and RCIA director (A Lay Minister) both confirmed that. If you are worried could always do it yourself...
Religion is a very personal thing. Just follow your heart. And remember, it seems like those who criticize the most and "preach" the hardest seem to be the ones who need to find God and truly learn to live his word!
Just my thoughts...Jodie
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