Are There People You Won't Sell To/work With??
Decorating By kathik Updated 18 Apr 2007 , 9:42pm by Janette
I was contacted about providing catering services and a cake for a family's upcoming celebration at our Shul (Temple). There are several reasons why I don't want to do this job:
1. There are too many people trying to "plan" this event. I was contacted by the grandmother and I arranged for a date, only to be "informed" the next day by a non-family member that the mother asked her to arrange the date and she did for a different date!
2. This non-family member is "trying to help me" by offering her suggestions to the family for a menu. A pathetic one at that. I don't need or want her help!
3. It is short notice and I am temporarily working at the preschool and I am very tired at night.
and the one that really makes me want to say no-
4. The mother is a witch (and that's not really the word I am thinking). I am filling in at her daughter's preschool right now and she treats me like I am her servant, and an ignorant servant on top of it! I may not have a Harvard degree, but neither does she! 
There isn't anyone else who can do a nice Kiddush luncheon for her and if I don't she either won't do anything or it will be just thrown together. Am I wrong to say no? I don't want to work for her. Isn't part of having your own business, having the right to say no? And, if so, why do I feel guilty? I know if I do it it will be a miserable experience and I'll be very frustrated.
Just to clarify, I haven't agreed to this job, I only said I would see if any of the dates she wanted were available and we would go from there.
So do you to anyone or are there people you won't work with?
Kathi
If I have a gut feeling that whatever I do won't please a potential customer then I quote them a high price in the hope that they will go and annoy someone else!!! I have one customer who has ordered maybe half a dozen cupcake cakes from me in the last 9 months or so. She is the most aggravating person I know - she moans and bitches about my prices EVERY TIME, and says I should give her a permanent discount as she orders so many cakes and has put a lot of business my way (ummm, yeah, that would be a total of 2 orders, both of which where placed through her!!!.) I don't need her to 'sell' my cakes - they do that for themselves! Her problem is that her kids are addicted to my cakes and insist that I make their birthday cakes lolololol - so she can just deal with it imo! If she wasn't such a bitch, then I would almost certainly give her discounts on her cakes - but she is so unreasonable and argumentative that I charge her full price!
Thanks Doug! You had me laughing so hard I almost spit my coffee out!
You're right, I don't want to be miserable and it's definitely more than a gut feeling! I just don't want to feel guilty that she won't have something special.......but if she learned to be nice it wouldn't be an issue! 
Kathi
Fortunately or unfortunately I had to make that decision on my first wedding cake. The couple were kids of friends of my parents. Bride told me what she wanted. Future MIL told me 'oh don't listen to her! that will look stupid! do this instead!" It was my wonderful sister who said, "you better come up with a policy of how to handle this or you'll go nuts!"
So my rule is "The bride is the customer and has the final say." That's why I won't work exclusively thru a wedding planner. My client is the bride. If the planner wants to be in the information loop, I dont' have a problem with that.
I had one planner who was always trying to "help" by suggesting menu items. I finally told her "Stop pushing (that one dish)! If you're going to suggest something, suggest this one!" She thought dish A was easier, but it was not only NOT easier, but not as profitable to me. She didn't cook, she had no idea.
I establish one contact person for the event. Period. That person has the final say. That person makes the decisions. That person is responsible for paying me. I don't work thru a committee.
Some of you may have noticed that I tend to be a little pushy and bossy (No, really! I can be! No kidding!). If I'm presented with a plan that makes no sense, I am not shy about pointing out why it won't work. Like the bride who wanted to set up the buffet table on the dance floor on the side of the room opposite of the kitchen. I said I wouldn't do it for safety issues .... I was not going to carry hot pans of food thru a crowd of 300 guests to refill the table. I've had receptions at locations that are an hour's drive away and no kitchen acces .... there are certain foods that don't travel well (cooked pasta) and I am not shy about telling a bride why that is a bad food selection.
So I say either establish yourself as the food expert to guide them on what needs done, set the rules under which you will work ..... or find yourself booked for that day. If they decide to just throw it together, it's no skin off of your nose.
Oh I definitely have types of people I won't work with. Anyone who treats me like I work 'for' them. Anyone who starts the conversation 'I want a seven tier cake covered in roses and I'm on a budget...'
Or anyone who says 'I'm looking for something with lots of piping, flowers, run-outs (i.e. I want it to look like the toilet roll holder of a middle aged tory voting, cotswolds dweller) etc.' (I don't do fuddy duddy.)
Anyone who gives me a photo of a cake and says they want me to reproduce it (what's in it for me?)
Anyone who wants twee, cutsey little animals wearing costumes on the cake.
In fact, I'm suprised I accept any clients at all 
I have been warned of one family in the area that always used to order cakes from a local bakery. The mom would always come in and complain that the people didn't do what she requested and then get her cake for free. They eventually banned her from this bakery and floral shops, too! I could go on and on about this family, they are literally running people out of town!!
Well, pretty soon this won't matter at all. I told the grandparent that if I needed to hear from them by the end of today if they wanted my services. It is already 6 p.m. here. So, if they want my services they have until 9 p.m. to call. After that they are on their own!!
Kathi
just don't want to feel guilty that she won't have something special.......
never, ever, NEVER feel guilty because some bride doesn't have "something special"
it's NOT your job to go to her --
it's hers to come to you in a pleasant manner and REQUEST your services.
"NO" is one of the simpliest words in the English language. But learning to say it can be the hardest feat.
So true! Plus women, from the time they can walk and talk, are taught to be "nice"; to "not hurt someone's feelings". We are our own worst enemy. No wonder we have more migraines than men ... and migraines are caused by stress.
I worked for a (foreign owned) company once. I had no idea that in that culture, you were not suppose to tell the boss "no" if he asked if you agreed with him! Especially for a woman to tell him no! Man, did he hire the wrong person for THAT position! He didn't quite know how to deal with me.
I just don't want to feel guilty that she won't have something special.......
Not your problem! I understand you feeling that way, but it's not up to you to make her event special. I would run from this woman, and fast!
Oh I definitely have types of people I won't work with. Anyone who treats me like I work 'for' them. Anyone who starts the conversation 'I want a seven tier cake covered in roses and I'm on a budget...'
Or anyone who says 'I'm looking for something with lots of piping, flowers, run-outs (i.e. I want it to look like the toilet roll holder of a middle aged tory voting, cotswolds dweller) etc.' (I don't do fuddy duddy.)
Anyone who gives me a photo of a cake and says they want me to reproduce it (what's in it for me?)
Anyone who wants twee, cutsey little animals wearing costumes on the cake.
In fact, I'm suprised I accept any clients at all
I love it!! I'm laughing out loud. I feel the same way!
Well, here it was, the final stretch, 20 minutes to deadline when guess who calls.....the mother herself! 
So, okay I figure, I worked up a proposal, I padded it with rush fees for booking less than 3 weeks prior to the event, and some extra for the "Difficult customer fee", and quoted her the highest price I have ever quoted someone, and she didn't even flinch!!! 
Personally, I would have choked on the price I quoted, but not her!
I don't know whether to be happy or not, although, I really do like doing this kind of stuff, and I'll be making a lot more money than usual! 
Who knows, maybe, she'll actually have more respect for me after this (although I'm not going to hold my breath on that one).
Kathi
She's just another job dear. Think of it as that. I found with difficult customers that if you give them a hefty bill and be firm with them, for some reason they become "somewhat reasonable" to deal with! 
I don't know why that is, but it is! Do the best you can and have fun with the cake! It's the least you can do!
Oh yes, and in answer to your first question, is there anyone I won't sell/work with? Yes. Anyone high maintainance!
I had a referral from my Beloved of a woman whose lil boy was having his bday party with my husband.
Unfortunately this woman was very neurotic and pretty much wanted a big cookie cake for little money but to fee lots of people. She wanted something that would require me to work for nothing.
It took me a little while to realize that she was a (I know I didn't spell it right. My Yiddish sucks) Shnerer. I finally said no to her and that a cake from Carvel is more her speed. She said fine and that was that.
Later at her son's party my Beloved told me she admitted to being neurotic and annoying but she gave no apology. Oh well, at least we still got her $$ in one form.
I think I have decided to wait to be happy until this is over, one way or the other, because of course the saga continues!
When I spoke to the mother last night she said she definitely wanted to hire me and her husband was returning from a trip and they would call me tonight with their menu choice. Nine pm comes and goes and she hasn't called, so I call her, "grandmother" answers and asks to take a message (Mom's nursing the baby), I tell her who I am and tell her that it is important that she return my call tonight because I need to confirm with full payment the cake and catering by Thursday morning. And, she says, "but the kiddush isn't until the 28th!" Hello!!! That's only eleven days away! Like catering for 100 people and making a custom cake is something I can do in a couple of days. Plus, there is no way I am buying anything until I have money in hand! I have wasted enough time on this customer without seeing any money! 
So, I typed up a proposal letter with a note stating that if I have not received a confirmation and payment in full no later than Thursday morning at 10 am, I will assume they have chosen to handle this another way! We'll see what happens, but I'm not going to do anything else on this until I have a decision.
Kathi
this kind of stuff, and I'll be making a lot more money than usual! Who knows, maybe, she'll actually have more respect for me after this (although I'm not going to hold my breath on that one).
Kathi[/quote]
Don't hold your breath... you'll turn blue and pass out!
I wish you all the luck on this event... It sounds like you will need it and the extra moneys won't hurt!
Let us know how it turns out! 
I think I have decided to wait to be happy until this is over, one way or the other, because of course the saga continues!
When I spoke to the mother last night she said she definitely wanted to hire me and her husband was returning from a trip and they would call me tonight with their menu choice. Nine pm comes and goes and she hasn't called, so I call her, "grandmother" answers and asks to take a message (Mom's nursing the baby), I tell her who I am and tell her that it is important that she return my call tonight because I need to confirm with full payment the cake and catering by Thursday morning. And, she says, "but the kiddush isn't until the 28th!"
Hello!!! That's only eleven days away! Like catering for 100 people and making a custom cake is something I can do in a couple of days. Plus, there is no way I am buying anything until I have money in hand! I have wasted enough time on this customer without seeing any money! So, I typed up a proposal letter with a note stating that if I have not received a confirmation and payment in full no later than Thursday morning at 10 am, I will assume they have chosen to handle this another way! We'll see what happens, but I'm not going to do anything else on this until I have a decision.
Kathi
And the saga continues... I have a set time period for various events and such -- certain things I won't even entertain if it's past my time I gave myself to do it. For example I don't care how easy the wedding cake is, I won't even talk to the bride if it's before 6 months before the wedding. I have to give myself time for things and as someone's signature so aptly states, "your crisis is not my emergency." Amen!! 
Oh I definitely have types of people I won't work with. Anyone who treats me like I work 'for' them.
Oh this one really annoys me. I have soooo many snooty females coming to me as if I'm beneath them as, they want something elaborate and then they are cheap as hell. I have this one girl that wears her sorority like a degree with honors and she acts as if I've never had a lick of education BUT she is always on a budget. I stay in the burbs and so does she, but she acts like it makes her. I love Doug! He always has a great sense of humor about things.
Most of the time, I can get a sense of what type of customer I may be dealing with just by conversation. That's with anyone. I have those gut feelings...those people that I feel are going to try and "nickel and dime me" (Tomoore ).
In saying all of that, these are just a few of the types people I won't do business for. These are just the ones at the top of my list. LOL
Don't ever feel guilty, that will become your weakness.
Well mekaclayton, I must be very, very strong today, because all I feel like doing is laughing!
This morning when Auntie (I told you this was a family affair) dropped off the child for preschool, she told me that she had decided to handle catering the family event, including the cake, as a gift to her sister. I said great, thanks for letting me know. Then I mentioned that she needed to be sure everything she purchased had appropriate kosher hechshers (supervision), because I know their family doesn't keep kosher and the event is being held at the Shul. I felt a wonderful sense of relief all day long. (big sigh icon here)
So the Aunt comes to pick up the child and I ask if the Rabbi had reached her yet and she says no. So I let her know that he needed to speak to her about the kitchen rules before she starts working on the Kiddush, and she says oh that's fine, we have plenty of time, it isn't until the 28th you know. So, I look at her and say, "You do realize the 28th is a week from Saturday, don't you?" Her eyes practically bugged out of her head as she said "Oh my gosh, it is!" She walked off with this dazed look, and I have been laughing ever since!!
I suppose I'm evil to laugh, but after how they have treated me and delayed responding to my calls, I think it's funny! And let me tell you, if they think I'm going to bail them out at the last minute they can just forget about it! I may bail them out if they ask on Monday, it depends on my mood, but it will cost them double my quoted price. And after Monday, they can't pay me enough to fix their mess. Let them fall on their face! I'm going to sit back and enjoy the show!
Kathi
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