My son is getting his first job soon, and I was wondering how much you all make them give you? I heard a lot of parents make them give them half of their paychecks, some of which keep the money, others put it in an account for them to save...... so how about you...and if you don't have a teen then did your parents make you and if so how much.....help!!!!!!!

we don't make our son pay us anything since he is still in high school, however he does have to pay for most of his extra stuff and we no longer give him spending money.
he has learned to budget his money this way because when he has no money he can not go and do things with his friends, put gas in the car or the likes

when I was a teen (oh centuries ago ....or so it seems)

deal was:

I kept it all BUT

i paid for my car, my gas, my car insurance, and anything else I wanted beyond what food mom cooked and clothes at Christmas.

oh yes....and I had to pay for ALL of college.

cool.....thats the kind of stuff we are looking at.... right now he has no car, and he doesnt do much right now and he has no girlfriend, so I wanted some guidelines.......we aren't taking his money when he gets it, but we want to take some and put it in a savings account for him so he has something in two years when he's out in the military (thats what he says right now) keep them coming I need all the ideas we can get...

hey doug....I'm 42 and I know exactly what you mean! it's hard to believe I graduated 24 years ago!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow!

My only job was babysitting, so I didn't have enough to pay for everything. I did pay for my gas and such for my car, though my mom paid the insurance. I had to pay for my own extras - things that weren't really necessary. I funded my own Mt. Dew habit, and if I wanted lunch that wasn't packed, I paid for that myself.

Well I still have a daughter living with me (23 yrs) and I don't ask for more than her credit card payment and for gas because she has no car and I have to drive her around. The reason I don't ask her for money is because she like to help us around the house and when we need $$ she'll offer right away. So I guess I am a lucky mom, thanks God.

If they're responsible enough to hold onto a job, they should be responsible enough to decide what to do with the money. I do think that means that mom and dad stop paying for all the extras though. My parents wouldn't let me get a job and would just give me money when I needed it. Now, granted I was a "good kid" and didn't go out often so what they gave me wasn't much, BUT... I never learned what to do with money and a job once I got one and it took me while to figure out you can't spend it all LOL. Anyway, I see it as an opportunity for a teen to learn how to handle their own money and they shouldn't have to give up anything to their parents. But, then the teen has to pay for gas, going out, extra clothes beyond basics they need for school and stuff like that. So if the teen screws up and has no money for gas to make it to the job, well then lesson learned!

The rule in our house is "you don't drive without car insurance and you pay for your own insurance." Our kids were expected to pay all of their car expenses, spending money, clothes above and beyond what we budgeted. Once in awhile, hubby and I would "surprise" them and pay their quarterly car insurance as a reward for great grades or something.

My 2 oldest are grown. My 14-year old helps me at weddings. She gets paid like everyone else, but I make her put half in her savings account. She has pretty easy access to it (if I don't think she's "needing" it for a stupid reason, I'll take her to the bank to get some out) but it's a little harder for her to spend it on stupid stuff when it's in the bank as opposed to in a coffee can in her room! However, once she's 16, I probably won't "make" her put half in the bank, but she will learn budgeting by being responsible for her own expenses like our other 2 were. She does ok ... we let her have a pre-paid cell phone ONLY if she paid for the minutes. You'd be AMAZED how much she's NOT on her phone when she has to pay for it!

We have a 20 yr DS & 17 yr DD. He pays us $100 every 2 wks for rent & sometimes more in between. His truck is broken down so I'm having to take him to work so he fills my van up with gas every week. He also has to pay for anything he needs other then food. Our DD works now too. She is a straight A student & very responsible & helpful around the house (DS is not). She pays for her own gas, extra things like those shoes she has to have. She also has to pay her car note. We're are tricking her.. we are putting that car note into a savings acc for her for college. Any extra's they want or need they have to buy.

I love hearing these stories. It makes me smile to see I am right.... my husband is always so hard on him (he's my son's stepfather, and my sons father has never really seen him) and I tell him he's too hard etc etc. He was raised differently then I was and he keeps saying when I was young I or my parents etc etc...I tell him over and over that Brandyn's life isn't his neither now or ever was, it's Brandyns'. This just proves I'm not alone.

I agree...thats one thing that worries me about my son. he's a good kid, he's gotten mouthy, but he still is a very good kid...but he's very very lazy and I'm not sure how long he will keep the job once he gets it. I believe in him, and I know he can do it, but he has some idea that he deserves a laborless job.... I told him that his life is his, but in a job is not what he chooses to do it's how he does it that is in his grasps..

Here's my son's life in about 1 minute... he doesn't go out with friends, he doesn't have a girlfriend, he has no car (or hopes of getting one anytime soon). But he does want a PSP, Playstation 3, etc etc. So he may want some money, but doesnt need much money. I don't mind him spending his money on those things, but I don't want him to be frivoulous so thats why I'm kind of want to take about half of his check and put it in an account just for him. So he has some money when that time does come for a car, going out friends, or a girlfriend.....or when he leaves for the military if he continues to say he's doing that. He also more then likely wont be getting his license for at least another year.... more then likely it will be closer to 18 though. Insurance is too high for him even if its on our insurance (if his grades are C average the added amount of money will be 411.00 dollars, if his grades arent C average it is 741.00 dollars. To get his own insurance would be even more...) so I don't see that happening.

This is why I'm puzzled as to what to do as far as his paycheck goes. I just want ideas so that I can share it with my son, and show him others feel the same or just gave me the idea..... thanks so much so far guys! Keep them coming.

My husband refuses to let him learn to drive, even though he is in drivers ed, and it's required by the school to have it passed for graduation, and to pass the class you have to drive to learn (obvioulsy) and drive with the drivers ed teacher. Now I have done a boo boo so to speak but I truly believe he has the right to learn

When I was a teenager, I worked, but wasn't required to pay for ANYTHING, not even gas in my car. I threw all the money away. When I moved out into the 'real world', I got into financial trouble REALLY quick!! When I was in college, I didn't work, and they gave me spending money and paid my credit card bill. I know my parents were trying to be nice about it, but it would have been much more helpful in the long run if they had taught me financial responsibility from the start.
My kids are 5 and 7 and DH and I already make them earn money doing chores, etc. If there's something special that they really want, they save up for it. **This is not to say that we don't buy them stuff, we do.** But if it's something special (and unnecessary, too expensive, frivolous), or spending money for vacation or something like that, we make them use their money. It makes them feel important, plus it gives them the idea that you have to use real money to buy things, not just swipe the debit card. It also makes them think twice about some of the things they want.

I think you are right to want to take 1/2 of the money and put into savings. The sooner you teach a kid to budget their money, the better off they will be. Our kids are little, but we make them put 1/2 of their birthday money in the bank and they can spend 1/2 of their money if they want to. Same with their allowance. I can already see that my oldest is a better saver and my middle child always has his money on hand to buy junk.

My kids already have a better start than I did when I moved out. I know they will appreciate it some day.

This is a great opportunity to teach budgeting and planning for future spending. Most teeenagers have no idea what things cost or budgeting to save for future needs like car insurance. Sit down with him and look at his paycheck and how much he wants to spend and on what and how much he'll need to pay for insurance and gas once he starts driving. I had one friend who started working at 14 and saved the majority of his money and bought a brand new car and paid cash when he turned 16.

I first want to start off with saying, when I was a teenager it was just my mom and I. My mom was going through health issues (mental and physical) and couldn't work all the time, or she was in school trying to figure out what she wanted as a career that her body could handle. And I may not have agreed with everything she did, it still is something I learned from....
My mom had me pay for her gas money when she drove me to my job.
My mom first had me help pay for things around the house. If I wanted something extra I had to pay for it. I paid for most of my own clothes, personal care items, my cat's cat food (it was a special diet food), and sometimes helped my mom with rent and food.
When we moved into a bigger place, I was supposed to help pay for the difference between the old place and the new place. I lost my job and didn't have a new one. My mom kept a running total and made me pay her back (something I wasn't fond of), even after we moved again to somewhere smaller and we had free rent.
When we moved out to Delafield, I couldn't find another job for at least a month or two. During this time my mom paid for my stuff, but she kept a running total of what I owed her. Finally got a job, paid her back after I had purchased things that I needed. I think my mom did pay for any school fees that I had, but can't clearly remember that.
When we moved again into a new place, my mom had me pay her a set dollar amount each month to help with expenses. Then at some point she didn't think I was spending my money wisely and made me pay for half of everything. (My mom were butting heads at this point.) Then after a little while of that my mom gave me 2 months to find a new place to live by myself. (I was 19 almost 20 by this time.)
Since I had to pay for the difference it would cost my mom to drive her car for car insurance, I didn't learn to drive until I was 19 and I had my own car.
I also never had a credit card until I married my husband.
One thing out of all of this, I wish my mom had sat me down and taught me how to budget. That is the biggest lesson I wish I had had.
When my mom moved out of her 2 bedroom apartment that we had once shared (that she no longer could afford to live in) she gave me her nice queen size bed and she took my twin bed. Also when I moved out on my own, my mom did buy me some things for my new place.

My DD found out this week about saving some of her paycheck for gas! LOL~ She was on empty & called Dad. Of course Dad bought her some gas but when she got paid yesterday (which was only $100) she had to pay Dad back & also pay us some money for the car note & have some left over for gas for next week. Good thing is that we didn't have to "ask" for the money. She just hands it over with a smile. Now DS is different. It took him awhile to understand that he did have to pay back the people (us) he owed money to & had to pay for things in this world. He has a harder lesson to learn then DD. I think boys are more hard-headed.

I hope your DH gives him a break. My DH has always been too tough on our DS & it pushed him away from us for years. DH sees now that he made a mistake with DS. It is very important for a kid your sons age to be able to drive. I hope DH will let him drive. You can give your kids things & help them out while teaching them to be responsible & live right Hope things get better Kandi!

I forgot to add, that my kicking your child out when they turn 18 does not help them- IMO. My husband knew of several kids in his high school when he was a teenager that committed suicide when they neared their 18th birthday because of the emotional issues they didn't know how to face knowing that they would be kicked out of the house.

Hi flayv,

I got my first job at age 16...wanted my own money My mother gave each of us a small bill that we were responsible to pay. We had to give her the money to make sure that we paid the bill

There are eight of us; five girls and two boys...I'm the baby By the time that I graduated, my mother was no longer paying bills, we were . This is something that we wanted to do for her because she had made plenty of sacrifices raising us after she and my father divorced.

My two sons received allowances and they paid for their personal items with this. I started early teaching them about budgeting their money and like we were raised, they were given a bill to pay when they started working. My twenty-one year old still lives with me and has a checking and savings account and is very thrifty with his money. He pays $200.00 a month for rent but he steps up to help more if I fall short sometimes.
If they hear me talking about wanting something (like my edible printer ) they will give me the money to buy it .

My mother is eighty-one (but is very, very active...people actually thinks that she is in her late sixties early seventies ), lives with me and receives her monthly retirement and we still give her money to spend...she's our mom

In-stilling responsibilities at an early age will prepare them for adult-hood .

When my oldest started working, I absolutely made him save 50% of his paycheck. So if he netted $100, he saved $50. It didn't go into HIS, account, it went into MY account--that way he couldn't get to it and splurge on whatever.

The money was still HIS, not MINE, I just had the control that he lacked. If he had "bills" (yeah right--they have no clue!) like a cell phone, etc., that came out of the money he had left. Since he worked about 30+ hours each week, he wasn't hurting. That helped him to understand how hard it is to save, budget, live and have something that you want every once in a while. It also helped him to understand that the things his dad and I have took YEARS to accumulate, and that nothing happens overnight.

He was able to buy his first car with the $4500 he saved in a year and a half. Good going!

-M-

When I was living at home I had to pay for anything that wasn't a neccesity. I still got a clothing allowance for summer and fall like I did growing up. But everything else was on me. I had to buy my own car and didn't until after I graduated. I could use one of my parents vehicles if I asked more than 2 days in advance and they didn't have plans to use it if it was for a night out, but if it was for school events they worked it out that I could have it.

My parents never "Took" my money from me (sorry that term kinda bugs me) But everypaycheck I had I sat down with my dad and I had to figure out how much I got to keep... It was either 20 or 30% of my pay. The rest went into savings. Then I would go to the bank with him the next day when he did his deposits and do mine. It was a good thing though b/c I went through all the motions but while I was learning I had to answer to someone and I had someone to ask questions aobut how to do finances.

I have since made mistakes financially, but I don't think I would have been able to get out of them quite so easily had I not had that experience and responsibility growing up.

Wow, I'm actually getting good advice through this thread & I didn't start it LOL! There are some good ideas!

We bought each of our kids their first car but they had to help pay the payments or the insurance. Their choice. DS is 20 so he is responsible for all his personal/extra things but since DD is still in school we still buy her clothes, school things etc. But she has to buy the unnecessary stuff, the wants.

Stephanie... WOW!! I loved that story!! I'm talking to DH today about doing the same thing (I'm serious, I am!)!! It sounds like it's worked out awesome for your family!! Your Mom is a smart lady!! Thanks for sharing that~

Monica.. That was actually my Mom's idea to do for our DD. We have some smart women in our lives!!

wow.... what responses.... I too dont like the word take Leily, but with lack of a better word I used that one. I want to be fair, but at the same time I want him to learn and have "fun".... I personally can't wait until he starts to see some "money" in an account that is his...... thanks all... for those who havent added yet...please do!

I got a job right before my 17th birthday. My parents let me keep all the money from my paycheck. Once I had the job I started to pay for things on my own. My parent provided me with car and car insurance. I pretty much paid for everything else, including all of my clothes, going out money, etc. I was also in many activities in school so I also paid for some of those extra expenses too such as going to FL with the band. I did save some of my money while I was working. My parents told us (5 children) that once we graduated from high school we had to go to college or move out in three months. Needless to say four of thier children graduated from college. ( The 5th child is still in jr high). All of us children are paying for all of our college. Now I am glad that they did it this way. I learned how to managed money. I also learned about loans.

I never gave my children an allowance. They had chores, but they were taught that they did them because they were part of our family. I did not PAY them to do anything! Some kids get money for breathing, if you ask me. We paid for everything they needed, and gave them "fun" money. Anyway, when my daughter started working we didn't require that she save, but she did have to start paying for her own things, including paying us back for her car insurance. I bought clothes, but only what I thought was adequate. If she wanted $80 jeans I'd give her the $25 I would expect to pay and she had to pay the difference. My older son didn't work until he was 18 except for his dad. He's now a sophomore in college, and we pay for school, books, etc, but he pays his day to day expenses from money he's earned. I made it clear to my kids that we'll handle their schooling provided they took it very seriously. I don't want my kids to come out of college with huge loans hanging over their heads, and I'm willing to sacrifice for that to happen, as long as they work hard and appreciate the gift.
My daughter is 23 and in Grad School. She's living with us, but works and pays for her car, insurance and her personal expenses. I'm not charging her rent because she works so hard in an accelerated Masters program on top of working 4 days a week.
My youngest son is almost 16 and has working with his dad for over 4 years helping install wood floors (just like his sister and brother did). He's a saver and banks almost everything without our suggesting it.

cool....... thanks again all! keep them coming.

I grew up in a family of six kids, my mom stayed at home with us and my dad didn't make a huge salary as a state trooper. All of us kids went through Catholic grade school and when it came time for Catholic high school (which was not cheap), my parents had us pay for half of everything!! And I mean everything! I worked a couple jobs over the summer to save up and still worked during the school year.

I paid half of the yearly tuition, fees, half of my first car, half the insurance, half of senior pictures....etc. We just split everything 50/50. Except the second car we bought, we were totally on our own.

We paid for ALL of our college. Luckily, I got a volleyball scholarship but I still worked as many hours as I could to save money.

I am so grateful to my parents for instilling that in us. We worked hard for what we got and it was such a feeling of pride that I helped pay my way.

Just this past Christmas, each sibling and their spouse had 5 presents each to open (so 10 per couple) and somewhere on each gift my parents put a crisp $100 bill. When all of us girls realized what they had done....that with every gift we opened, or our husbands opened, there was $100....the tears started flowing.

The look on my parents' faces is something I will always treasure. When we all finished opening gifts and each couple had $1000, my dad had tears welling up in his eyes and said..."When you were in high school and college, we wished we could have helped you all more with your expenses. You all worked so hard and we are so proud of each of you."



We were all in tears....all these years later and my mom and dad were still letting us know how proud they were of all of us!

Ohhh I feel like crying!!! That was a very touching story!!!!!!

I think it's a good idea to make him put 1/2 the money into savings...I don't like the word "take" either. It is just teaching him to be responsible and showing him how much saving money will help in the long run. He will look at the accumulated money in a couple years and think, "wow! That's alot of money!" It will teach him the value of a penny saved

I never was expected to pay for my keep when I was a kid and I don't think I would ever make my kids do so either...not unless we were really hurting for money but then, I would hope that they would feel responsible enough to help out if it were needed.

My parents never believed in allowance either. They gave us money when we needed it but I was thinking that I might start giving my boys an allowance and maybe have them open up kids' accounts to put it in. I thought maybe they could have a dollar for each year of age every time. Maybe every week or perhaps every paycheck that my husband gets. Does that sound like a good idea?