Wow! I can't imagine how annoying that must be. My DH is so supportive - he even helps clean up the mess I make, usually without asking. But I guess a lot of that comes from the fact that he is a foodie, too, and he really enjoys cooking as much as I do.
I'm sorry your husband is such a jerk. I wouldn't give up something you love just because he's being a dumb arse.
(((HUGS)))
Hope things get better for you, soon!
I have really loved learning about cake decorating and hope to get a job one day in the industry. I have been a SAHM for 9 years, with my youngest starting preschool in the Fall.
Here is my problem...I am getting no support in my new cake venture. My husband would prefer I just spend all of my time cleaning the house and doesn't understand why I am not fulfilled by that. In fact, he gets quite annoyed when I mention getting a job in the future.
So, without any support, I am thinking I might have to give up cake decorating. Whenever I talk about taking another Wilton class he just brushes past it, and when I am in the midst of doing a cake he just stands in the kitchen looking around and lets out a big sigh due to the mess (which does get thoroughly cleaned up).
Do any of you have a spouse who is not so supportive of what you are doing? How did you handle it?
Feeling very frustrated.
I don't know you or you hubby well enough to pass any judgments on him or make any comments on what the issue is. The one piece of honest advice I can offer you is to sit down with your hubby (offer him a slice of cake) and have a serious chat. That's the only way you will find out what the problem is.
After getting a good night sleep and giving it some more consideration this is what I have decided...I AM NOT GIVING THIS UP!! This is the first thing in a long time that has truly interested me and I am having fun learning about it! This is for me and nobody else.
I grew up in a house where I was constantly told I was not supported to try activities in school and was told I would never amount to anything in life. That has stayed with me all of these years (I just turned 40). I am always self doubting myself in everything I do.
Anyway, yesterday when I wasn't getting the support I needed, all of those memories came back to me and it just hit hard. But, I realize it is up to me to succeed in life and nobody can do that for me.
So, I am going to continue and see where it takes me.
Thanks again for all of your support...it's amazing how total strangers can support you more than family.
I grew up in a house where I was constantly told I was not supported to try activities in school and was told I would never amount to anything in life. That has stayed with me all of these years (I just turned 40). I am always self doubting myself in everything I do.
"never amount to anything" -- as if being a mom and a wife was "nothing" that alone is accomplishment of the highest order!
now keep on bakin' and cakin'!
(oh, and it sounds like time for him to move his business out of the house! if at all possible -- definitely desirable)
Just to clarify..it was not my husband who said I would never amount to anything, it was my grandmother. She was verbally abusive all throughout my childhood.
Anyway, I just wanted make that clear.
Don't give up. You have to be able to support yourself and the children if"God forbid" something happens to him. He is an Ass hole and I did have one like that. He was affraid that I would succeed farther then he did. I did. He was also affraid that I would out grow him. Well I did. I did because he didn't support me in my goals and dreams.
The husband I have now I have told him if he wants his dreams then he has to let me have mine.
Don't give up. Keep going.
Kandi
Even if you stick to it....you and hubby need to sit down and talk about the issues behind his jealousy. If he is not willing to talk one on one, maybe you both should go into counseling for a little while to get it out in the open and talk about it. It will consume your marriage if it continues since he is silently undermining you. Just consider it. In the meantime, enjoy the craft. It is fun. It create smiles. So let him pout until he can deal with it on an adult level, which would require him to relay why it bothers him. Other the mess, that is a copout excuse since if your like anyone else, you clean up after your through. He has deeper problems. They will become worse once that green eyed monster shows up time and again!
The way I see it, happiness is something given from above, and only you can choose to keep it or let it go, share it or covet it. For a long time I let my H dominate what I did and what I spent. In the last year, I have turned some of the tables, and now I am the one choosing my days and my time and what I spent time or money on. It took a lot of time and a lot of effort, but in the end, you will be so much better off for it. I spent time supporting him and his dream, so now I demand that he do the same for me. Good luck!
I'm so glad that you have decided not to give up cake decorating. It's something you love to do, so you should do it! I am sorry that your husband isn't supportive. I have to agree with everything everyone else posted. You also have to realize that you are a role model for your children. It doesn't matter if they are girls or boys; you have to show them that if you have a love of something, you should pursue it. As long as it's not hurting anyone and it's making you feel fulfilled, it isn't wrong. I would never want my children to think of me as a doormat, to be walked all over, and showing them that it's okay to be dominated by your spouse. Would you really want your son to be like his father when he's older and in a relationship or marriage with somebody? Or have your daughter be in a relationship where she and her opinions and feelings are never taken into consideration?
Sorry for the long rant. I sincerely hope that things work out for you. Maybe in time your DH wil grudgingy come around, once he realizes that you are not giving up. Remember: People will only treat you how you let them treat you. Good Luck 
Get your hubby to take a weekend in Deland to get recertified (has he been out of it long enough to need to start over?) and have him start going back up. That feeling of freefall is remarkable and it will probably do a lot to boost his issues. I know you mentioned that his friends died while skydiving. I think every skydiver knows of someone who had an accident or landed hard and is now living with a few rods in their bodies. But if he once had that rush, buy him the weekend pass so that he can get it again. Doesn't Deland have the festival every year? We jumped until a friend who owned the drop zone passed (not jump related). Give him that thrill back and maybe he will crawl off of your tail.
As for the house, I don't know what rules you have, but the kids need to be taking care of their own stuff. Punishment? Forego the spankings and the standing in a corner. Make little junior wash baseboards. Mine do. If it's really bad - they chemical the bathroom.
You will be fine. This will pass. Don't give up on something that makes you feel fulfilled.
Wow. You guys married a bunch of jerks. My husband doesn't boss me or make me clean or do laundry or do anything, and he's 100% supportive of my cake hobby.
Hmmm. I have laundry that needs done....
I think your hubby is depressed that he no longer has a hobby and that he just lost 2 of his friends.
Sit down and try to find a hobby that both of you can do together. Also try to find a hobby for himself that he can enjoy by himself.
I'm sure you two can work it out.
Man, I agree with so many of ya'll about underlying issues. Have you ever heard the expression, "You're never fighting about what you THINK you're fighting about"?
Men are strange creatures. He sounds a lot like my dad, honestly, and maybe he doesn't even realize how negative he's being or how much you're taking it to heart.Whenever my dad would start to bug my mom, she would just say, "okay!" and keep doing what she was doing. While it might not be a good long-term relationship skill, it does seem to work in the short term.
I think sometimes we get so "comfortable" with other people that we forget we still have to try to make things work out and to have good lives together (and that we can't always just say every thing that pops into our heads). It breaks my heart that you've ended up with someone who sounds like he has a lot of self-esteem issues and that he hasn't learned to prioritize his time well enough to recognize that nagging you isn't a good use of it! I hope things get better and I'm so glad to see you haven't given up something that makes you happy.
You cannot let him pressure you into giving up your decorating or let him throw guilt trips at you for taking up a hobby. If you give it up without really wanting to I'm betting you will be resentful. I'm with thecupcakemom. And here's another SAHM who has your back.
best of luck to you...I am a SAHM, and I probably am not a really good one by many people's standards...I dont always have dinner ready, I dont have a perfectly clean house (I have a nearly 2 year old---that is impossible), but I play with my son and my niece, we go to the park, we practice workbooks, we go to the library etc.....to me more important than a clean house, are happy, active, well-rounded kids.
OK, sooo, is he cleaning "the mess" after you? I guess NOT, so what is the problem?
I guess he is also enjoying the yummy cakes he is eating, right??
Sometimes I guess men can be a little insecure thinking that they might "lose" the wife if the wife starts working or doing something other than being a MOM. Hang in there and talk to him, tell him how you feel. I truly believe that to be in a successful marriage you have to have GREAT communication.
Good luck and PLEASE, don´t give up your cakes. That is the one thing that is for you. We (mothers and women en general) are all about caring for others and doing for others, so let´s do THIS for us!
We got your back!
I remember telling my DH that I needed something that I could "accomplish".....start to finish!
I could never accomplish the laundry or dishes or dusting because those truly were never ending tasks. I do the same dishes everyday, the same laundry, sweep the same floors...I needed an outlet and something that I could actually finish and complete and never look at it again. It was a great feeling!!
He got praise and feedback from his bosses either verbally or by receiving a bonus check, etc....but I never got that instant gratification until I started doing cakes.
I totally agree with all the advice on here to sit down and share your thoughts with your DH and explain what this means to you...involve him as much as possible.
Don't give in.....and don't give up!!!!!
Stand your ground girl! You tell him that he needs to respect your new found love and if wants to keep the love in his marriage alive he will stop treating it like he is the only one in it that counts! Grrrrrr....that just makes me very mad. A woman should respect her hubby but, he should equally respect her back. Good luck girl and dont give up something that you love!
It sounds like your husband has the man disease. It's called ASSHOLE. My loving husband catches it sometimes too. I tell him to shut up and go back to his recliner.
Ladies, while I agree there are men that match the description...are there not an equal number of women who are not supportive of their husbands? This is not a male-female thing, really...just an unsupportive spouse. I understand there is a lot of good natured girl talk here, but this kinda set me off a bit. 
And yes...you might have guessed that I DO have a Y chromosome! 
Ladies, while I agree there are men that match the description...are there not an equal number of women who are not supportive of their husbands? This is not a male-female thing, really...just an unsupportive spouse. I understand there is a lot of good natured girl talk here, but this kinda set me off a bit.
And yes...you might have guessed that I DO have a Y chromosome!
Dude - you're a Duke fan living in Maryland. You should be used to adversity lol.
sounds like there are a lot of counselors here! great book out there on male depression (I don't want to talk about it). deals with the often main symptom being irritability rather than sadness. Agree giving up on something you love would be terrible for you and for your relationship. the resentment would just continue to grow. I do a lot of marital therapy and it is so rewarding to see the improvements in the relationships that comes from working on communication and getting the real issues on the table to work on respecting and supporting one another.
I can really relate to you on some levels, though. my DH can be a real A**h*** over soooo many things (and he didn't want to be like his father!!! LOL), but he is my biggest supporter with my cakes. He's the one always marketing me and almost never meets anyone without giving them my card and telling them to "spread the word".
good luck to you.
If you give up cakes you will resent him forever. Even though you are married you still need to still be individuals. You are a wife, a mother and most of all you are YOU! this is why marriages fail- compromise is a necessity. PLease don't give up what you love for him. He will find something else to pick at until you finally blow.
sorry to be harsh
Kudos on your decision. Giving up something you love will only breed resentment.
A suggestion, each time you make a cake, add a little something to it to let your DH (even if he isn't always a dear) know that you are always thinking of him. Maybe you develop a signature swirl, or work his initials into the design and have him find it. Or...make him a special cupcake or mini cake now and then...always works with mine DH.
DON'T give up doing something you love! I find cake decorating fun and therapeutic. Your hubby needs to chill- it's your release. Beinga WAHM, I need to get out of the house too- and so I took the Wilton classes and am now a WMI. I love my two nights a week out to talk cake with others who are interested in the same thing. You can still plan on your business one day- but focus on yourself too- not just the hubby and kids! Do something to make yourself happy- make a cake!
If my husband isn't supportive then I ignore him and carry on with what I'm doing.
I have to say that the Lord did not put us all here to be "maids" at home. He gave us all talents and gifts. Please stick with it. I am a SAHM also, and there is nooooo way that all of the cleaning could be done! It's not possible...cake decorating helps relieve the stress and it also brings in extra money. My DH gets like that sometimes but usually very supportive except when I mention more supplies....then ...here...we ...go ...about the supply costs again! It can be annoying but don't give up! 
my dh is the same way sometimes too. He doesn't like it b/c of the money I spend to buy supplies. Also I don't eat the cakes so he thinks its a waste to make them. But luckily he is out of town a lot with his job so I just do it when he's not here. I'm also a SAHM and need something to do that I enjoy besides cleaning all day.
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