Okay, let's all stop with the posting topics with the subject line of something horrible like...
"I have a stupid question..."
"Really dumb question here..."
"I'm such an idiot. Can you explain..."
Come on everyone! There are really really NO dumb questions on this site. Stop starting a topic with such low self esteem and doubt. Where are all the fierce girls?!! 
I can't stand by while people post like this. We are ALL here to learn, whether you started in this hobby/business yesterday or in 1920. Never let people think you doubt your own abilities.
(Funny how it's only the women on this site that do this? That truly disturbs me.)
Thank you, I had to get this off my chest... 
..guilty girl here!!!
I'm bad about doing this........will do better not to........but sometimes I have some pretty dumb questions!!!! just kidding 
jo_ann where did you find that avatar love it.
so cute I love cats.
Hey wait a minute.... while this site has lots of wonderful pics and advice it is also a little overwhelming ... there are lots of talented people out there who post incredible pics and sometimes you do feel silly asking a question... even if that is what the site is all about!.
And to be honest I have been made to feel silly after reading some of the replies to some of my questions.
I agree we should be more OUT THERE and CONFIDENT but its not always easy so don't give us a hard time about it.
I wasn't going to post because I could just see this post heading in a sour direction. But I've been thinking and wanted to post.
This is an idle toned post with no intent of being a firestarter.
Please just realize that this board is a mixture of those that are seasoned and those that are beginners. Everyone comes here for support, ideas or because they feel they can offer others support and share their knowledge and inspiration.
It is all appreciated, good and bad advice. I am one who is guilty of posting doubtful projects. But what I get from everyone here is what I can't get from any one "HERE", in person. Not everyone has supportive people around them to turn to. Some people don't bake for money on a reguar basis. So some of us haven't reached a comfortable place YET. BUT when someone else is in need of advice or inspiration, and I feel I can give, I do.
I have read and used many peices of advice from EVERYONE on this board and I can say THANK YOU. Your honesty is what makes people turn here for advice. THANK YOU for your honesty EVEN in this matter.
Why is it a big deal how someone title's their own thread? I'm glad everyone is so encouraging on this site, but I don't see how it should make anyone lose any sleep if I say that I have a silly question.... If anything, it just gets that person who feels silly or dumb more encouragement because other members step up to reassure them that it was in NO WAY silly or dumb at all. At least they had the courage to ask it even if they did feel silly. JMHO.
Sorry Antonia, no matter how encouraging you mean to be there are going to be those who turn it into something else, for those who realize that the comment originated in a spirit of " You can do anything, don't be afraid to ask"
For those who thought she was being mean or taking a shot at you...please read more closely, I am pretty sure she didn't care how you headed your posts. I think she felt for the person posting that was thinking of themselves as " stupid" or "dumb" or "silly". JMHO!
I hear what Antonia is saying, as I am one of the guilty ones! I guess I do feel a little inferior only because I am so new to this. I just don't want to sound stupid by asking a question someone might think I "should've known"
I will however keep this in mind when asking questions in the future.
Thanks Anotonia for the encouragement! 
I hear what Antonia is saying, as I am one of the guilty ones!
I guess I do feel a little inferior only because I am so new to this. I just don't want to sound stupid by asking a question someone might think I "should've known" I will however keep this in mind when asking questions in the future.
Thanks Anotonia for the encouragement!
This in no way is to point fingers directly to you. Just more observation, in general.
Here's the deal in my opinion with what you are saying. EVEN the people doing this for a while, or for a living and doing nothing else to bring in income, have self doubt, WE all have questions. I feel silly somtimes asking what I ask, when I bother to. I have an ego, that tells me "You should know better", you've been doing this for over 30 years (cooking and baking).
There's NOTHING at all wrong with asking, but you don't need to feel inferior, have SOME confidence. This goes for everyone, me included. There are things I know I should know, but don't.
I do a search for what I wnat to know, then If I don't find it, I ask. No shame in asking what you need or want to know.
Just to clarify: I didn't think at all it was pointing fingers at me I just wanted to mention that I am guilty of asking questions in that manner.
Some of us are born with a TON of CONFIDENCE, others AREN'T....all different personality types! People need to recognize that as well.
I recognize the fact that I have to build up my confidence in this area.
What I was trying to say in a nice way was there are people out there that if you were face to face with them and asked them a "stupid" question, would look at you like you had two heads and say you should know that by know etc. I HAVE worked with people like that!! Kind of makes you feel about an inch tall! Not a nice feeling.
My only point in responding to this was to bring to attention that I already feel as though I have to walk on eggshells around here sometimes, now I have to make sure that I DON'T write that I have a silly question even though I truly feel it's silly? Why is that such a problem? It may be a pet peeve to some people but not everyone is fierce. It takes a huge amount of courage for some people to speak up (not me, obviously) and especially speak up in 'public' where they feel they might be humiliated - even though we all know that no one on here would intentionally humiliate anyone else. We've gone 'round and 'round on the 'give credit to your inspiration' subject and the opinions on it are pretty much split 50/50. Do we seriously have to tell everyone else not it's okay to say I have a dumb question? It's everyone's own feeling if their question is dumb or not. Don't tell me that I'm not allowed to think my question is dumb for Pete's sake, when you've already told me that I can't make a cake that I saw on here without first getting permission, then Heaven forbid, post it without specifically naming the specific person I was inspired by! I don't see anywhere in the rules (granted, I haven't looked) that states I can't say 'I have a dumb question.' If it is in the rules somewhere, could someone please PM me with that link and any others that may be useful to me as a person who has a big mouth and lots of opinions?
I'm not taking this thread personally, because I don't think I have ever posted a thread titled 'dumb/silly question'. I'm just saying, I'm tired of feeling like I have to watch every little thing I do or say. Besides, there are always going to be new people coming on who won't have read this and WILL post saying they have a silly/dumb/stupid question.
I hope those members who aren't fierce and/or don't want to get into this topic are at home saying "Here Here!". For those who are not in agreement with me, well maybe I'm just dumb. I'm allowed to think it if I want to. I'm sorry if I'm causing any controversy. Just trying to show the flip side of the coin.
Nah, I don't think anyone is meaning to cause controversy or meant to be offensive or means to be on the defensive about it. I often get an email from someone saying that they are sorry they are asking a dumb question and I always tell them there are no dumb questions but they may just get a dumb answer from me. I have a put-down-myself sense of humour which is based perhaps on liking to laugh and not minding to be the butt of the humour. I do have my moments of being, well, not too swift. Somedays I could make the character of Edith Bunker look like a rocket scientist but then again, she was pretty smart behind the facade so that is ok too.
I don't know Antonia well, we have shared maybe two Pm's. But I honestly don't think she was meaning to come across as telling people what they can and cannot say at all. I think she was trying to be encouraging so that people wouldn't feel any question they asked was dumb, that was how I took this.
But you know there is food for thought here and it is true that many of us could use a wee bit more self-confidence. And sometimes even when we don't really realize it or really believe what we are saying, if we say it often enough maybe deep down inside there is an element of truth and that we are questioning how smart we are. Or worse yet, if we say it all the time out of habit, maybe we make other people question it.
But you know, that is all ok, we are allowed to have habits, even bad ones or say things, even self-doubting things because that is ok. Just so long as we don't truly believe it much or most of the time, right? And if we do believe it even some of the time, well the rest of us are here to encourage us not to believe it and that is the way I took Antonia's message and I do believe that was what she was after.
So don't feel like you are walking on eggshells if you use those expressions or if it bothers you that some people do because you are afraid they do mean them. No walking on eggshells here but you know, a good egg fight would be fun, don't you think?
Squirrelly Finishing off a Dumb Post, with egg on her face!
::::chunking an egg at squirelly:::: NYAH!
Haha, so it was you, and here I was blaming Itsacake or Cake_Princess, haha!
Hugs Squirrelly
Great advice antonia. But do you realize that if anyone here started decorating in 1920 they be well over 106 years old.
Hope thats me someday.
Ok kiddo, I am sending both you and Antonia to C.C. Remedial Math 101! Had to read it twice before I realized that you would be 86 if born in 1920. But not to worry, just means you are both 20 years ahead of your time right?
Just teasing you both, couldn't resist, I have an aunt who was born in 1920 and turns 86 in April, otherwise I wouldn't have noticed, haha! But you know how sensitive people can be about their ages and we may well have a member here born in 1920!
Hugs SQuirrelly
OK, squirelly...now I am gonna get ya....I think they were adding a few years considering they wouldn't have been decorating at BIRTH! .....well..I don't guess..106 would be a must but anyhow....neener...and now I must hide from the squirelly wrath..lmao
OK, squirelly...now I am gonna get ya....I think they were adding a few years considering they wouldn't have been decorating at BIRTH! .....well..I don't guess..106 would be a must but anyhow....neener...and now I must hide from the squirelly wrath..lmao
Oh really, haha, well I thought we all started at birth, you mean to tell me that I was gifted, haha, hhmn, er maybe I am just extinguished er distinguished...
Wow, Rvallee....I don't know where all that anger came from? I just started this topic to encourage people not to start a query by putting themselves down by calling their question "stupid" or "dumb". It hurts me to see people do that when questions should be forthcoming and easy to ask around here.
As for the topic of stealing other people's designs and not crediting your sources, I still believe that's wrong....and I have a lot of people on this site who will back me up on that. Maybe if it were to happen to you, you'd feel differently...
Ooh, ok, so I missed that part of the post about the "giving credit to the person's whose cake inspired yours", is that what the underlying issue is, I thought it was about using the type of statement like "Sorry for asking a dumb question".
We thank people for giving us recipes, tips, answering questions - at least most of us do and should, but it is always a big issue to thank someone for inspiring their cake and this is the only site where that is an issue. I don't understand it and never will, though I have tried. It always ends up with someone making a comment like since their cake was a combination of 20 different cakes should they thank each and every person, Wilton for developing the method, God for making the flowers we duplicate and so on. I find that to be a statement that ridicules the whole subject and anyone who dares to state that the original designer should be credited. We know that is not what people mean here when they say that a cake which is mostly like another cake someone posted here or anywhere else should result in credit to the originator. I think people think that kind of a statement will get them off the hook for doing something that they get so defensive about, you have to realize that they knew they were a guilty party. If people make a statement that makes you realize they think the finger was being pointed at them, how did they come to that conclusion if there wasn't an element of truth in it. Or if they have to ask if they should have given credit to someone whose cake inspired their design, well didn't they just answer their own question? The answer is yes, if you saw something and it influenced you so much that your cake was almost just like it and that is actually why you made it, well of course you give credit. And if the person posting that original picture was influenced by someone else to make her cake like that then she too should give the previous person credit and so on.
To me it is purely and simply playing fair and having good manners. I don't understand why it is so difficult to do. Are our egos so big that we have to take credit for everything and we cannot pass on thanks to someone else because had we not seen their particular combinations of design and/or colour, we would never have made a similar cake? If you mostly copied a Renoir painting or mostly copied a Prada design or mostly copied a Chippendale table, would you pretend it was your original thought process that enabled you to come up with that design or would you state that it was based on...
Everyone here or just about, knows who Earlene is. Go take a look at www.earlenescakes.com and look in her galleries. Look in the wedding cakes, anywhere and see, she always references the cake which or decorator who inspired her. Now she is a famous decorator so does that mean she is wrong to do so? Personally I think it shows that she is honest and has class and good manners. And there are many other famous decorators who also do so.
Are we just a bunch a vultures that go on sites and grab everything we can, instructions, recipes, methods, ideas, any sort of information and just use the people on the site for our own good without every contributing or saying thanks?
Maybe this post will upset a bunch of people or even get this thread locked, I don't know that for sure. What I do know is this. If someone tells you that something you are doing bothers them and you continue to do it, aren't you asking for trouble? Do you ever stop to think and consider if there is an element of truth to what they said? Do you give them the benefit of doubt? Do you consider their feelings? Or do you just say, "I am right, they are wrong, I can do what I want regardless of who I upset or offend"?
You won't often see me make statements as strong as these and I know I will take a lot of heat for them and you know what, I am just fed up enough to reach that point that it doesn't matter. I have never in my life seen so much negativity and arguments and ridiculing and putdowns and fights over absolutely everything that should have been positive here on the site. It doesn't matter what people say or how nice they say it, what they do or how they do it, everything these days seems to be open to criticism and a fight and I am plainly sick of it. You can try really hard to be nice, to be positive, to be helpful, to share and still there are going to be people here that will put a huge negative slant on everything, get insulting, ridicule or be just plain nasty. It is a total waste of energy as far as I am concerned. And not only that, it is totally impolite to be a guest on a site such as this and behave in this manner. We are invited guests and invited guests watch their manners or they ruin the atmosphere. That results in them either being asked to leave or other invited guests leave and that is what has been happening here for the last few months. We are putting unfair pressure on Jackie and causing other people with good manners to leave. We are putting the moderators in positions of having to be babysitters. In short, we are ruining the atmosphere here.
Well, I think that about covers it all for me. I am all for freedom of speech but this freedom has to be used wisely and respectfully.
Hugs Squirrelly
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