We've lived in this quiet lil back woods area for just about a year now. The neighbors invited our family to their yearly New Years Eve party, since their kids play with my kid. I couldn't go empty handed so I made and brought a small cake. Didn't take long it was GONE! Many praises on the decorating and taste. I told the ladies how I had taken classes and was very excited to make cakes for family and friends. They both in turn tell me there story's about how they couldn't find anyone to make cakes for their kids birthdays! I gave them both my cell # and told them to call me when the time comes. Now they had also invited another lady to the party (she's only been here for about 3 months) who shows up with cup cakes that she made at her job (the grocery store bakery!) Granted hers had cute lil champange glasses on top but.... still grocery store bought. Now I run into this lady at the grocery store while she is working this week and she tells me that both the lady's have bought cakes from her for their kids... I was more then a little ticked off esp when my hubby just bought 20 boxes of cookies from one's lil girl scout. So should I be mad?
I am not sure if "mad" is the right word, but I would be a little hurt. Are you kids going to the party? Will you see the ladies soon? If I was that upset, I may try to get in a little dig to one of them about how your cake business has picked up, and how everone raves about how yummy you SCRATCH made cakes are. How much better they taiste VS those store baught ones that come in frozen for months! But, I am kinda mean 
(By the way, I would make sure those ladies know that those cakes are frozen for months, they are NOT baked in the store. I had two girl friends, one worked in Walmart bakery, one in Food Lion, both said they are shipped frozen for god knows when they were baked.)
I would even ask the one that works in the store if she knew when they were baked!
im so sorry! i wouldn't let it get you down though, but i know that is so frustrating. it may have been a money issue. they may have figured the bakery would be less expensive, since they do mass produce cakes.
Getting mad won't help you feel any better. I know you must be hurt. Running down the grocery store cakes will not help the situation. I would just casually remind them that you are baking cakes to sell and ask if they could recommend you to some of their friends as you could use the money. Would not bring up them buying theirs somewhere else or act like I knew it in any way. Just mentioning your cake decorating to them should make them stop and think about it.
JMHO
Diane
ok, here's what i would do...not saying it's the best advice, but it works well for me. sometimes, it's best to go through the back door...it's sneakier and you get the same results without looking like a "witch".
this plan in action: the next time that you have a get together, put together a fan-tabulous cake, decorated to the nines, and take it. pull out all the stops and really outdo yourself. more than likely, your "bakery" friend will bring one of hers also...stand back, say nothing, but watch how people do their own little comparisons in their mind, and i bet people will start asking prices, etc... it's hard to debate the fact when the proof is right in front of your eyes.
an example of my sneakiness: we live in a subdivision, with houses very close to each other, and we are all "polite friends". well, one of my neighbors was pregnant, and we attended a cookout at the home of yet another one of the neighbors. while standing in their kitchen, chatting, i look at the refrigerator, and there's a little calendar, with a notation for a couple of days later of this "babyshower for becki"!!! now, baby showers are not the most fun thing ever, but to be so obviously excluded from the guest list was hurtful. i'm not talking about the whole neighborhood here, just the end of our street...a total of 6 houses or so. so they had essentially invited all of the other houses surrounding mine, but excluded me. i recieved a call the next morning from my next door neighbor,(who come to find out was hosting the darn thing,) to see if she could "borrow" our costco and sams cards...when i saw her later in the driveway, i asked her if there was anything in particular that she was looking to buy. she said "i need the stuff for beck...uhhhhh....i need some groceries!" so she almost tripped up....keep in mind, she doesn't know i saw the calendar on the other neighbors fridge. she also called and asked if my husband, who sells food service industry type goods, had any samples of "small punch type cups" that he'd be willing to give her!!!! i called back over there, her husband answered, and i said: "mark, i just wanted you to let vicki know that she's more than welcome to use our wholesale cards, since she needs the groceries for the babyshower..."
i just wanted them to know that i knew about it...i basically tried to kill her with kindness!...we still don't know to this day why i was excluded, but as i sit there that day and watched my neighbors walking by with gifts in hand on their way to a babyshower i wasn't invited to, i felt a little better knowing i had "snuck through the backdoor".
starlataylor your idea is great. Bringing a better cake and saying nothing. I'd be hurt too if it had happened to me 
but then I'd be glad that I didn't have to deal with the stress. 
(By the way, I would make sure those ladies know that those cakes are frozen for months, they are NOT baked in the store. I had two girl friends, one worked in Walmart bakery, one in Food Lion, both said they are shipped frozen for god knows when they were baked.)
I would even ask the one that works in the store if she knew when they were baked!
I have to say that I too can be mean the way you say you were and I agree that you must let people know that there are a lot of stores out there that do ship in frozen cakes, but I wouldn't say all..... I have worked for Sam's Club (Delaware), Walmart(South Carolina), and Food Lion(Virginia), and I can't say they order the cakes in frozen the ones I did work at didn't they made them right there at the store....YES from a "mix" so to speak but they still baked them there...... but I would also make a big deal about MY cakes! 
Starlataylor, just think of the money you saved by not being invited. You didn't have to buy a gift. I would certainly have said something when they asked to borrow my cards and asked for cups. Believe me, they never would have asked again when I got through. She was rude, and crude, and socially unacceptable. You don't need friends like that. You have all of us here at CC.
Diane
Well to drive home a point the day before I saw the "cake lady"in the store the one neighbor dropped off our 20 boxes of cookies. (she almost wet herself when we kept adding more to the list on the day we ordered.) So she says to me.. "we will have a table set up on the 31st if you run out or we can order more before then if you need them." I said "oh thats great did I show you my latest pictures of my cakes." Where I had pulled out my picture book and showed her the cakes I've made since the New Years Eve party. So maybe that put a thought back into her head.... Lets hope so I hope she was feeling guilty about the cakes she ordered from the other lady. Like they say what goes around comes around and I figured she owed me $70.00 worth of cakes plus the other times they came around selling candy bars, christmas stuff, boy scouts, baseball crap.
And yes my son was invited to a sleep over for the one boy's party he was a doll when he said "mom your cake is much better then the one she had" Kids God love 'em!
Sounds like you got your point across in a nice way. Good for you. I know what you mean about buying cookies, candy, etc. from the kids. I have bought so much of that crap. Now when my grandkids sell something I send them to all these people I have bought from for years!!!! I couldn't count all the letters I get from school kids asking me to buy magazines. I just trash them now without opening them.
Your son deserves a big "atta boy" for his compliment.
Diane
not to hijack the thread, but ya know what gets my goat??? the kids that knock on my door to buy their stuff and i don't have the foggiest idea who they are...i'll take a look outside and there'll be no car waiting on them either! #1, you don't ask strangers to help you raise money when you've never even spoken to them before, and #2, what the heck are you, a 10 year old, doing out knocking on strangers doors anyway?
another thing that makes me want to scream is when high schoolers knock on our door. we life in a very high income area right outside of nashville tn (keep in mind, we're the peasants here, not the rich people!) and these preppy dressed highschoolers with their oh so carefully mussed hair come and knock on my door. when i answer, covered in flour from the cake i'm baking to earn alittle extra money, they have the guts to aks me if i'm willing to make a donation or buy a subscription to help send them to europe for their senior trip. WHAT??????????? i haven't been to europe, why the h e double hockey sticks would i send you there?????
I don't blame you for being hurt. I don't know why people do what they do, but just keep your chin up and keep making your great cakes. Maybe it was just a money issue, a lot of people are used to buying cheap commerical cakes I guess.
I have been hurt like this several times and taken it personal, doubting myself and my abilities but I just had to let it go 'cause there was nothing I could do about it.
I posted a vent about this a couple years ago when it happened, but the pastor of our church back in LA had 2 daughters who were around my age, the older one was having a baby and I volunteered to make the shower cake for free. It would have been about a 60$ cake. Well the younger daughter was getting married and she told me she was going to get me to make her wedding cake. I never heard anything else about it... went to her bridal shower where there were probably 100 people and there was a huge commercial bakery boring sheet cake (so i thought) with just writing and a spray of roses. A few months later went to the wedding and she had this massive cake, while it was nicely done, it tasted exactly the same as the shower cake so I knew it was made by the same place. I heard from a mutual friend that she ordered it from some lady in town who did cakes. That hurt me even more than if she'd ordered it from a bakery.
I was so hurt by that. I think they probably didn't like the cake I made for her older sister's baby shower so they (she and her mother) didn't want me to make the wedding cake.
Good luck with everything and I hope you get lots of cake orders soon!
Perhaps her budget only allowed for grocery store cakes? and some people LIKE the taste of grocery store cakes. I had a piece of a rather yummy one yesterday at a kiddo party....it's irrelevant that it was frozen at one point since it tasted GOOD, now if it had tasted bad...well that's a different story.
..... I figured she owed me $70.00 worth of cakes plus the other times they came around selling candy bars, christmas stuff, boy scouts, baseball crap.
I honestly don't think anyone can *expect* people to buy cakes or anything else from them because they bought something from them. After all....I don't expect the car salesman to come spend 30k buying cakes from me just because I bought a car from him! Or the mortagage co. to come order 300k worth of cake
..... I figured she owed me $70.00 worth of cakes plus the other times they came around selling candy bars, christmas stuff, boy scouts, baseball crap.
I honestly don't think anyone can *expect* people to buy cakes or anything else from them because they bought something from them. After all....I don't expect the car salesman to come spend 30k buying cakes from me just because I bought a car from him! Or the mortagage co. to come order 300k worth of cake
If the car salesman and the loan officer for my mortgage were my neighbors and supposedly "friends" I would expect them to. When I owned a cafe, I expected the people I did business with in town to eat in my cafe occassionally. It's one of those "you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" type of deal. JMHO
Diane
you spent 70 dollars on Girls Scout Cookies? Why do you think she owes you 70 dollars worth of cake order?
You got value for your money..70 bucks worth of cookies.
Would I buy 70 bucks worth of girl scout cookies? Not really...I wouldn't do that because I like their cookies..I like mine better, but I would purchase them to "support" the organization.
That said...NO ONE OWES anyone...just because they are your neighbors and you informed them that you make cakes, doesn't mean they HAVE to buy cakes from you.
They may have MANY, MANY reasons not to..
Just because I make yummy cakes doesn't mean that one of my best friends likes my cake...she and her kids prefer...PREFER!!!!..cakes from the supermarket!!!
Go figure!! am I offended? nope...different strokes for different folks..that means that when I get invited over, I no longer have ANY stress...instead of staying up late the night before baking, and decorating a yummy cake for my friends.....I stop off at the nearest supermarket on the way there and pick something up...
At the Spa where my shop is at...they had a baby shower...they didn't buy a cake from me...because the Honoree liked a cake from a particular supermarket...and I give them almost 50% off on the cakes! There are too many LARGER battles in life than worrying about WHO buys or doesn't buy your cake.
I have to agree with risque... some people like supermarket cakes and supermarket style to decorate cakes... The first time my sister in law got a walmart cake for his son(last year), and did not call me to make it for her, I did not feel well, but now (a month ago) I feel lucky, I dont have to worry about making a cake for free or just charging for materials (thats what I mostly do), just going to a toy store to get a "gift card". You have to look the other side of the coin... Dont feel hurt, maybe was for the best..
I have to say that i'm with RisqueBusiness on this one. I don't expect everyone to buy my cakes just because I make them and I certainly wouldn't purchase lots of "stuff" from them in hopes that they would purchase from me. I don't like to feel obligated to do anything and I don't like to make people feel that way either.
Debbie
I'm with Risque, too. Nobody owes anybody anything. You buy Girl Scout cookies to support Girl Scouts of America. Not to get one up on your neighbor. At least, that's why *I* buy GS cookies. Maybe you buy them to get your Thin Mint fix for the year. But, when it comes down to it...you get cookies...they get money. Everybody gets something.
Kids just LOVE those plastic scenarios on supermarket cakes. I can just see the little tykes saying "Mommy! That's the cake I want for my birthday!" And since it's probably cheaper than the one you do...supermarket cake wins. Taste? Who cares about taste. We're talking kids here.
Now, I've got several friends who do cakes, and each of us has our own taste and style. I can totally see someone choosing one of us over the other because they like one person's chocolate or another person's figure work or another person's sculptured cakes or another person's buttercream better. Should the other three of us feel bad or slighted or competitive? No way! The next person who comes down the pike will like OUR choices better. It all works out in the end.
It's not a competition., and nobody's keeping score.
Well I guess you last few didn't read carefully enough my post. This lady showed up at our door from day one selling things. We support our schools around here and we bought from them not even knowing who they were. As soon as school started and my son got to know these people quite well we all interacted together. I never asked her to buy anything from me but when at the party her and the other neighbor raved about the cake I made and how nicely I did my writing (apparently not everyone prints so well?) They both told me they were going to get me to do their kids cakes. Thats 3 cakes altogether. Now my hubby is a hog when it comes to girl scout cookies he loves the ones with carmel and coconut. He bought 7 boxes at work to be "work" cookies and since neighbor 1 was gonna buy cakes from me for their kids when she came down we asked her how close she was to her goal she was a few short of 100 boxes to get the prize she wanted, well I could have ordered 10 from her and 10 from a lady at work who was also selling but.... this was my neighbor who my kid played with and as long as I was supporting a scout might as well be one I know. Did you get that point? Like the one lady said "you scratch my back I'll scratch yours" only I have a big itch left here and guarenteed when her kids come knocking trying to sell me crap I might just say "sorry I have a cake order I need to get done have to save my money to buy ingredients for my fresh cakes" No they don't OWE me anything but my cakes aren't expensive at all I usually just charge $5 or $10 over the cost of my supply's just cuz it's what I love to do.
Sorry ~ I didn't realize that they promised to buy cakes from you if you purchased cookies from their children.
Debbie
Sorry ~ I didn't realize that they promised to buy cakes from you if you purchased cookies from their children.
Debbie
Oh then I guess I did read it wrong too, totally missed that promise 
so, maybe I'm NOT as smart as I think I am..lol
So they said nice things to you. You brought food into their house, it would have been rude for them not to have said nice things. (Look at the other topic in which someone has her panties in a knot for not getting praise at a pot luck.)
And it sounds to me that you bought all those GS cookies because your husband likes the cookies.
Life's too short and no one owes you business.
I came to here to post something that hurt my feelings, upset me, and literly mad me want to scream. I heard nothing but bad feedback from alot of you and as I'm reading this the 2 boys show up at my door wanting me to buy candy bars!!! What is wrong with the world that friendship and human kindness can't go above your pocketbook? Would it kill a person to say you know I understand that you help us out EVERYTIME we send our kids down to your house, I just wanted to say thanks! I work at a restaurant as a baker and waitress. People have forgotten manners altogether. No more do you hear thank you, please, excuse me?
Regardless I won't be coming back for advice or help from this site I've seen this risquebusiness (spelling?) trash more then one persons post. And basically I"M really tired of reading her LONG drawn out better then thou attitude posts. Good luck to you all and I'm hoping that I find another site that gives real hope to those of us that just want a nice person whether the feed back is good or bad to comment on a post.
Metabea, I am sorry that you have had your feelings hurt on here and hope you rethink leaving CC. I just let it run off my back like water off a duck's back. I understood from the first post that you had your feelings hurt by these so called "friends." I would have been hurt also under the circumstances. Hang in there and don't let everyone's opinions run you off.
Diane
Metabea, I am sorry that you have had your feelings hurt on here and hope you rethink leaving CC. I just let it run off my back like water off a duck's back. I understood from the first post that you had your feelings hurt by these so called "friends." I would have been hurt also under the circumstances. Hang in there and don't let everyone's opinions run you off.
Diane
Ditto! Most of us are good people. Don't leave!!!!!!
I came to here to post something that hurt my feelings, upset me, and literly mad me want to scream. I heard nothing but bad feedback from alot of you and as I'm reading this the 2 boys show up at my door wanting me to buy candy bars!!! What is wrong with the world that friendship and human kindness can't go above your pocketbook? Would it kill a person to say you know I understand that you help us out EVERYTIME we send our kids down to your house, I just wanted to say thanks! I work at a restaurant as a baker and waitress. People have forgotten manners altogether. No more do you hear thank you, please, excuse me?
Regardless I won't be coming back for advice or help from this site I've seen this risquebusiness (spelling?) trash more then one persons post. And basically I"M really tired of reading her LONG drawn out better then thou attitude posts. Good luck to you all and I'm hoping that I find another site that gives real hope to those of us that just want a nice person whether the feed back is good or bad to comment on a post.
Metabea,
I so agree with you...manners and kindness have all but disappeared 
It is so sad when a member comes here seeking a little sympathy and understanding and as usual, the same thing happens...cruel comments are made 
If you can't be supportive, then don't post at all 
. People are tired of the same members just waiting around to feed their cruelty on others instead of offering kindness and understanding 
.
Metabea, I am so sorry that you were hurt and want to leave. Remember all the positive posts that you received far out-weigh the negative ones .
I would like to apologize to you and hope that you will stay and continue to grow with CC 
.
*edited to add link*
http://forum.cakecentral.com/cake-decorating-ftopict-117741.html
Regardless of if you buy things from their children or not, I think the point here is they were seeking you to do birthday cakes. You did not say "Hey I do cakes and want to do your kids birthday" They liked your cake and asked you about it. They did not follow up and hold true to their word. I would have had my feelings hurt too.
Then to come here and have your feelings hurt again over the same thing adds insult to injury. I am sorry this thread has gone this direction. Please don't leave. You know what they say "Opinions are like --well lets say noses--everybody has one"
Don't let someones "nose" rub you the wrong way.
Stephanie wrote an absolutely lovely reply. I wish I was so articulate. Feelings are hurt and I understand. When your feelings are hurt you want a hug - not to be told how wrong you are. Lurk for a while until you feel better and then come back and make positive contributions.
Hugs - Joan
PS - True story. I travel back and forth between Okinawa and US. I put my daughter on the bus to go back to college and I was totally distraught. I was leaving in a few days to fly back to Oki and knew I wouldn't see her again for 3 months. I was crying so hard I could neither speak nor drive, but I called my husband on the phone to hear a comforting voice. He kept saying Helloo, hello when he answered, but I couldn't speak (cyring too hard). Finally I told him I missed her so much already, yada yada, yada, whine, whine, whine. His response to me was "What do you want me to do about it??" I gasped - I couldn't believe those words came out of his mouth. I told him NO WOMAN would ever speak to another WOMAN like that. We support and empathize with each other. Then I hung up. He is usually a really good guy but this time he forgot to dig into his femine side.
I can certainly sympathize with you....I would be hurt and upset also!! I guess I still believe in the "Handshake is Gold" thingy where people actually honored what they said they would do....I don't have any advice to give you but I certainly hope you continue to post and be a member as everyone is important here!!!
LOL
Laurel 
Metabea, I really hope you consider staying a bit or at least giving the site a second chance. There are far more respectful folks here - I'm sure that's why you started posting. Don't ever, ever give one person that much power over you. Here or anywhere.
I'm sorry you were hurt by your neighbors, I understand why you would be. Hopeuflly, you will get plenty of chances to show them just what they missed out on. Don't give up!
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