When my now 14 yr old was 4, she wanted a pink cake. So, I made her a strawberry cake with strawberry icing. Once I was done I handed her the icing bowl and said"Now you can lick the bowl." I turned to cover the cake, when I turned back around the was my very blonde child with the bowl on her head licking the bowl. I let my husband shampoo her hair that night. I was laughing too hard.
Having lunch with my grandaughters,niece and grandson one afternoon we ran out of chairs. The girls tried to convince my 3 year old grandson to share his chair with them. He said NO you all fat girls, won't fit, anyway Gramma is gonna sit with me. I laughed and said Well honey, gramma is a big fat girl also. He looked at me sweet as could be and said No, gramma you not a big fat girl. I hugged him and said you're so sweet. And then he said YOUR A BIG FAT GRAMMA! Needless to say there was a mad rush to the bathroom after that one.
Oh I could go on and on with several from my girls. But here's a few.
When my youngest was in first or second grade I made homemade macaroni and cheese for dinner. They gobbled it right up and asked for seconds. Then she turned to me and stated "Gee, mom your macaroni and cheese isn't as gross as the schools!"
Well I hope that was a complement!
Another one was their recipe for apple cider. They were both very young and couldn't pronounce the word cider correctly. Well they asked for a glass of apple spider and proceeded to tell me how they make it. They squish all the spiders up and add some apples. Isn't that right mom?
The best one yet was from my youngest daughter while she was in kindergarten. In the middle of winter she came home one day and looked out the window and stated "It's snowing like a bast***! I was stuned and asked her if she knew what that work ment. She says yes, it means a whole bunch. So I guess a couple of weeks ago it was snowing like a bast*** here!
I enjoy this topic so much!
I want to share one from my neice. She's 5 and loves to wear pretty dresses and shoes. Maybe some of you will know what i'm talking about, but she had a pair of Mary Janes (black,patent leather shoes) that she loves and couldn't find them, well she asked her granny to help her find her "Betty Crockers" hehe
Please don't take this the wrong way, we have nothing against anyone.
When my son was three we were at a mexican restaurant. Everyone that worked there was mexican including our waitress. We lived in a very small town that is 99% white people, so he had not been exposed to very much. Our waitress walked by and he said quite loudly "Look mommy a chocolate lady." Luckily she just thought he was adorable. I wanted to die.
When my oldest son was 4 we lived in FL. We lived in an apartment complex and had pulled into our parking spot. There was a man walking down the sidewalk without a shirt on and he had really long hair and was a bite over wieght. My son gets out of the car and starts pointing and yelling "Hey girl go put a shirt on!" The man's face turned bright red and my hubby pushed my son back into the car. I am not sure who was more embarrased at that point. We tried to explain to our son about being rude. He just looked at us and said that girls are supposed to wear shirts all the time. We never saw that man again without a shirt.
ok here is mine.. my 5 y/o son loves to go to the market with me. I have been trying to teach him the value of a dollar and dont always give in to special items. I tell him let's wait till it goes on sale. Well the other day we are in the store and he asks mom can we see if the toys are cheap because youre cheap and like cheap stuff.. super embarassed, I tried to explain the difference between cheap and on sale..it didnt really matter by that time cuz all the other parents in the store were giving me that look "poor kid"
I was mortified.............
OK, maybe it's b/c my kids are still at that age, but have I got some to share!!!!
When my oldest (now 5) was learning his ABC's, every child has a hard time saying the L,M,N,O,P part, well his came out "little mino pee" 
Dont ask me, I have no idea what that meant, but it was hillarious to hear him say that!!
When he was younger (about 1 1/2-2) he still was very much attached to his pacifier. We called it his "passie" as do alot of parents, however, when he said it, it came out "pissie". While in the restaurant, he would sing and chant "pissie, pissie" all the while, I'm trying frantically to correct him before everyone else around us heard this beautiful little boy talking that way.
Then, just the other week, I picked him up from school, he is in kindergarten, and while we were walking across the parking lot to go to the car, he just says (quite loudly) "Mom, what's a penis??" I could have crawled under the cars!!!!
BTW, love this thread!!!! It's a real pick me up!! 
This thread is awesome!Here goes one about my 4 yr old.
Yesterday DH was in our bedroom playing video games with my son while I was practicing with a dummy in the kitchen.Aparently DH was using a pen to write something and he left an ink spot on the quiltcover but try to hide it (dont know why 
) but my son saw it and started screaming at me to go and take a look at what daddy did.When I saw the ink spot I almost cry and he turned to his dad and said "you see,mom crying,NO CAKE FOR YOU !!! I tried not ot laugh,but it was hard.He looked so cute!
My daughter (now 11) loves to do crafts. One day when I told her I had to go clean out the cat's litter box, she insisted it was the GLITTER box. Don't I wish!
She liked to eat grilled cheese for lunch, but pronounced it girl cheese. One day my husband was home at lunch time and I asked him if he would like a grilled cheese too, and she said he couldn't have one. Wondering why she didn't want her daddy to have a sandwich, I asked her about it. She said he couldn't have a "girl cheese" sandwich, he had to have boy cheese 
Okay, I've been around a lot longer than most of you, so I have a few kids stories.
I worked at Safeway Stores for 33 years and heard many kids comments. One little boy walking past the fish counter saw all the prawns lined up neatly on the crushed ice and yelled at his mother "Mommy look, Seahorses!"
But the best one was on a busy Saturday morning when all of the families are shopping together. A couple came in with their little boy about 4 years old sitting in the childs seat of the shopping cart. The mother tears her shopping list in half and hands one part to her husband, tells him to get the things on his part of the list and she will get the others. Now she isn't listening to her little boy, but I am. As her husband walks away she says "OH, don't forget the Croutons!" the little guy gets this puzzled look on his face and you could just see the wheels turning in his brain. He comes up with "Croutons? Croutons? That's where Superman is from!"
This thread has a lot of laughs in it! I needed some laughter today! Thanks every one.
My 3 year old and I went to the aquarium the other day. They have an exhibit on how sea turtles lay their eggs. It actually is showing the turtle with an egg coming out. My DD said, "look mom, that turtle is pooping eggs!"
Although I think my favorite is from my 9 year old DD, who was about 7 at the time. We were at a county fair and the guy who ran the ride maybe had about 5 teeth in his mouth. My DD and my other DD got in the front and I got in the back with my other DD. I heard my oldest tell the 7 year old to hush. I didn't know why so when the ride started I asked her. She said that the 7 year old ask the guy if he had "hillbilly teeth" in. (My DD always got them out of the quarter machines and thought they were funny to play with.) The whole way through the ride, I was praying that he wouldn't be the one who let is off. But guess who was there, you got it! I was so embarassed and we didn't ride that ride again! 
Gotta love these kids - they keep things interesting!
And this one isn't so much a funny kids story as it is an "Aaaawww" kind of story.
When my second son Scott was about 4 years old he asked me one day why I loved him so much. I said "Tell me Scott, why do you think I love you so much?" he says "Because when I was in your tummy I touched your heart"
Aaawww.
when my nephew was three he saw me changing my then 2 month old daughter. He asked his mom why she didn't have a pee-pee. So she decided to explain that girls have vaginas and boys have penis's. WEll the next day we went to kroger to go grocery shopping. He looks at the cashier and says"hey, girls have penis's and boys have vaginas!" We both could have died on the spot!
And this one isn't so much a funny kids story as it is an "Aaaawww" kind of story.
When my second son Scott was about 4 years old he asked me one day why I loved him so much. I said "Tell me Scott, why do you think I love you so much?" he says "Because when I was in your tummy I touched your heart"
Aaawww.
Thats a very cute one
LOL this thread has me laughing hysterically.
we just found out a few weeks ago that we are expecting. my dh JUST had a vasectomy the end of December. my son (8 yrs) was not happy to hear what a V was for and that he would not be having any more siblings. well we decided to "chance" the next few months until he was sterile and apparently i got pregnant the day after his V. so, we decided to tell the kids one night over dinner, knowing they both would be happy, we had NO idea how happy our son would be. he took the V very hard and didn't talk to his dad for a week afterwards. when we told them I was pregnant, my sons face lit up, he stood up and walked to the side of the table dh was sitting on and said "Way to go dad!!!" and gave him a high five. we just sat there for a second then both of us burst out laughing.
my daughter who is now 4 had to be screened for preschool last year, one of the things they do is show pictures of everyday items and the child has to name them, well she did great until they got to the picture of a stove/oven my dd couldn't put the name to it, however, proceeded to tell the lady "that's what mommy uses to burn dinner"
i just wanted to crawl under the floor, the lady just started laughing and my dd just smiled knowing she gave the right answer.
And this one isn't so much a funny kids story as it is an "Aaaawww" kind of story.
When my second son Scott was about 4 years old he asked me one day why I loved him so much. I said "Tell me Scott, why do you think I love you so much?" he says "Because when I was in your tummy I touched your heart"
Aaawww.
That brought tears to my eyes!!!! 
man, kids are too funny. what would we do without them!?
we were going to my parents' birthday dinner at a local restaurant and one of my 17 month old boys dropped his pacifier (we call it a sucker) on the floor of the car. both dh and i could have sworn he said 'oh sh*t'. of course, you don't wanna laugh at that, but we just couldn't help it.
it turns out, he wasn't saying that at all. he dropped his sucker again this morning and it went under his crib. he was pointing to the floor and saying, 'where is it?' but it totally sounded different to us that first time!
this is going to sound really bad...but my 4yr old neice was over with her bother(3) and older sister(5)...and me, my husband and my sister in law were playing with the two other kids....and the 4 yr old told us to stop picking on them..so I picked her up and said 'you are their lil protectors right?' her response was 'yep am I b****' all I could do was sit there with my mouth open....I couldn't punish her for cusing...cause I was too floored at the time...but I know it is wrong to laugh at that sort of thing..but it was funny
When my 13 year old was 5 she heard my sil and I discussing our lack of breast. So the next day we went to the pool and she comes running over to get us. She says I want you to see someone. So we go over to the pool and the lifeguard was this gorgeous buff manly man sitting on the edge of the pool. Well right next to where he was was this heavy set older woman sitting. My daughtter ran up to her and pointing in her face yells to my sil and I "She's got big ol boobies Mommy, ask her where you can buy those!" We tried to apologize and bow out of there quickly when we see the lifeguard choking on his gum trying not to laugh at the whole thing.
My kids are all older now, but these stories brought to mind a day about 6 years ago when my oldest girl was 9 and my youngest was 5. I was in the livingroom just off the hall bathroom and they were brushing their teeth before bed. My oldest was helping her sister to brush. I was listening to her instruct on how to do it when I overheard this conversation:
Stacee to little sister, "Now Alissa, how come we have to brush our teeth?"
Little sister's reply: "Because of Gingerbreaditis?"
This just cracked me up!!! I couldn't call my mother fast enough to tell her! Makes me laugh everytime I think of it!! And cry alittle thinking how time has flown by. They are not my little babies anymore..... 
But this is something that I will never forget....
I have two stories....one aobut me nad one about my best friend. I don't want to offend anyone with the stories, so if I do, I'm sorry - but it's what makes the stories funny.
Back when I was 6 or 7 (late 70's/early 80s) my family and I were driving home from the store. I was in the back seat with my brother (1 year younger than I) and we saw this person walking down the street. Now, I had never seen a black person before, probably didn't know who they were. I yelled out the window "Hey - nice tan!" as only a 6 year old can. My parents were mortified and my father floored the gas to get out of there!
When my friend was about 3, Roots was on TV, and her father let her watch it (don't know how many have seen it, but they use the N word a lot). Well, one day, they were sitting on the stone wall in front of there house having sandwiches for lunch, when (as her father puts it) "a big ol' black cop" comes walking down the street. As only a 3 year old can, she said "Look dad, a N!". He promptly picked her up and brought her in the house. How do you explain to a cop that you let your 3 year old watch Roots!
I hope you find these stories as funny as we all do! Please understand I am not a racist at all, in any way - it's just what kids say sometimes.
~Chelle
When my son was young, we started taking him to our new church. We couldn't get him to sit still or pay attention. I didn't think he realized that there was a guy standing in front talking to everyone. When the sign of peace was giving, I almost got a hug from the women behind me. We go home and a few days later he is in the hallway talking to himself and I listened. He was repeating the sermon. For the next year he would walk up to little kids saying, "Jesus died for you. Does that make you happy?" I really didn't know where to go with that one. So we called him our little priest!
He still doesn't pay attention in church and I still get at least one hug a year during the sign of peace.
I breast fed two of my children. When my good friend from Jamaica had her son and was breasfeeding, my DD asked if she had chocolate milk instead of white. We both laughed so hard. We still kid each other about her milk being chocolate.
Kids dont just SAY the darndest thing, I remember back when I was pregnant I was at church and remembered this mom coming in a few minutes late with her 4 small children (one obviously very young baby)......anyway I felt so sorry for her, because when she sat down the infant started fussing so she put a blanket over her shoulder and started breast feeding, I sort of got the impression that either she had just stopped breastfeeding the youngest (or he thought it was his turn) because he tore the blanket off her shoulder threw it on the floor and tried to move right on in! That sort of cemented my decision not to breastfeed (but I was already leaning that direction). She turned bright red.....
I need to add this about my granddaughter. She and her parents moved back to the states, after DS military move. Every where they went they celebrated her birthday so that all family members could share with her. Now this was this past Sep. Her birthday was not till Nov. So on her birthday she asked her mom if she was finally four. Her mom said that yes she was finally four. Later when I called to congratulate her on her birthday she told me that she was finaly four. Cause she had four parties this year.
When our 2 sons were 3 and 4 we were having a real problem with the fighting between the two of them.
Having had enough I sat them down and talked about how we need to be kind to each other because Jesus lives in our hearts, and when we hurt one another...we hurt Jesus.
It worked like a charm! Until the next day....I could hear commotion in the other room and quicker than a wink, my 4 year old appeared in the doorway looking very upset.
I asked him what the matter was, and with his little hands on his hips and a frown on his face, he says..."Grant just pushed me and Jesus off the table!!!"
Quote by @%username% on %date%
%body%