Hello CC family
Please bear with me because I really need to get somethings out and don't know quite where to turn.
Last Tue. evening I was cleaning the house and thought I would plug in a scented wax pot for a few minutes. I actually thought DS is 4 1/2 now he won't bother it, expecially if I don't draw attention to it. I have NEVER plugged it in with him awake. I put it on the end table between the couch and the lamp, back in the corner where it could not get knocked off.

My DS was playing and the toy went under the table. He went after it and got tangled up in the electric cord to the lamp, the lamp fell over and hit the wax pot, spilling hot wax over him.

We have spent most of a week in the hosp. (The first 24 hours in ICU).

He has first and second degree burns over 10% of his body. We are home now and dealing with pain and healing. Plastic surg. said should have no scaring and the outcome of this is no worse than someone who had fallen asleep in the sun and gotten badly burned.

I feel soooo guilty. I have done everything I could do to protect this child all his life and now I am the one who hurts him. I just can't seem to let it go.

To add insult to injury, running around getting him into the shower, finding car keys, ect ...I kicked the stairs and broke my foot. Now I am kind of limited too.

One thing I did right and want to pass along...
Once the burning thing ,what ever it is, cools down it is no longer harmful. Don't try to remove it. I picked my son up took his PJs off and stood him in the shower of cold water and left the wax alone. The Docs said that was the best thing I could have done. Removing the wax at that point would have removed the skin. He still has some wax on him now. It will come off in time.

Thank you for letting me vent and please keep us in your prayers. I sure have missed you guys and gals over the week and I hope that life will get back to normal. Man if I could only get into the kitchen, a cake would be very theraputic right now.

Kimberly

Wow, Kimberly, I am so sorry to hear of your troubles! I can only imagine the guilt you must be feeling about your son. I have one that age, too, and I can attest that they get into things you never would have imagined! Please let yourself off the hook about that. You had no way of knowing that would happen, and if you had imagined for a second that he would get hurt, you wouldn't have put the wax pot out. Accidents happen. He will heal and have no lasting damage, thank God. As moms, we do everything we can to protect our children, but we aren't psychic and we can't avoid every accident. Give yourself a pat on the back for acting quickly and preventing more damage. It must be so much harder with a broken foot! Take this time to cuddle with your little boy as you heal together. You'll be in my prayers for quick healing, but also a special prayer for a fellow mom to forgive yourself for this incident. It was not your fault.

Wow . . . I can't imagine how you are feeling right now! I hope your son heals up quickly . . .

You know, they are called "Accidents" for a reason. You obviously are a good mom and didn't intend for anything like this to happen. You did everything right once the burn happened and for that your son is lucky!

I know you are going to have a lot of guilt over this for a long time . . . but I hope you know that you can't always prevent everything and you did all you could to help your son during this time.

Good luck.

Kimberly....I know you feel bad, but seriously kids have accidents and get hurt. You had no way of knowing this would happen to him and you did everything you were supposed to right after. And please let yourself off the hook....most of us have had our kids in the ER at one time or another ....they are just so damn fast that you can't stop everything before it happens. I'm sending good thoughts your way for a speedy recovery for the both of you!

You're still a good mom, that is evident by the fact that you acted quickly and smartly by placing him in a cold shower to cool down the hot wax. Accidents happen, it sounds like you did your best to protect him by placing the hot wax in an out of the way place, you couldn't predict what happened.
If this makes you feel any better I have a store for you: My husband accidentally closed the car door on my son's head...You know the space between the car and the door where the door is attached to the car, well my son was standing with his head in it, after me telling him not to do it, well hubby wasn't paying attention and started shutting the door with my son's head in the way. We took him to urgent care just in case, my husband felt so guilty, but the doctor was an older doctor who was seemed like he had kids himself once and was maybe even a grandpa and he was totally cool about what happened and re-assured my husband that everything would be fine.

That is so terrible and I am so sorry you both had to go through something so traumatic. Thankful that he is going to heal without scarring and doesn't have to undergo surgery.I am also sorry about your foot, as awful as all of this is or could have been at least with you hobbled like this you will have plenty of one on one time with him while the two of you heal.
I had 5 children of my own and 3 stepchildren, I couldn't begin to list the amount of trips to the emergency room with them. You do the best you can do to make your home safe for them and to protect them from harm. But things do happen and you learn a lesson, sometimes in a frightening way. I thought my house was really child proof for our active 18 month old son, locks on cabinet doors, safety covers on door knobs so he couldn't get out, etc. We had the house on the market, I was vacuuming the upstairs hallway with Josh right beside me, I turned and he wasn't there. I see sunlight coming from the area of the hallway that led out to the balcony of our 2 story home. I go running out and there he is with a hand on a railing on each side and his head and upper body leaning out into space. I knew if I made any sudden moves and startled him he would have gone over. I quietly walked up behind him and grabbed the straps on his overalls and pulled him back in. Turns out a realtor had not locked the safety lock on the door that morning and I had missed it.

Here's another thing to remember- he's a boy! I swear boys have a higher tendancy to get into things that will hurt them. Just ask my husband, he's been to almost every ER in our area becuase of all the stuff he did as a kid, but he never once broke a bone, usually burns and stitches. In fact, if you look at him once of his ears is smaller than the other. He was riding his bike and ran into a young sapling and bent the thing over, well it snapped back and ripped his ear clean off. Off to the ER he went to get it stitched back on.
Come to think about it, he still gets hurt. We use ear candles on my husband when his ears start to get really clogged up. Well, one day he was really sick and his ears really hurt, so he stopped at the health food store to get some ear candles. Well, he didn't get the ones that we usually buy, and he forgot to tell me the burning instructions for them. I was only supposed to let them burn down 1-2 inches. Well, I let them burn down farther and the wax that was being pulled out of his ear plus the candle wax flowed back into his ear canal Well, that was a visit to the emergency room, the doctors and the nurses in the ER were laughing at my husband because they had never heard of ear candles before- I picked on him too about it. Then while we were waiting in the exam room my husband decided to temporily blind himself. This is a guy that I dread bringing to the doctor's with me when I am sick becuase he ALWAYS has to touch the tools. Well, they have a really bright spot light that is on a movable arm. Well, it was sitting about 2 inches from his face when he decided to turn it on... I was lauging so loud and hard that one of the nurses came in to see what was going on, so I told her...I heard a chorus of laughter from the nurses station that was outside our exam room when she went back out to tell them.

Boys are definatly more prone to injury than girls, one of my brothers was really good at breaking stuff and needing stiches.
My oldest cut his foot pretty bad when he was about 2, he was trying to get into his grandparents basement and stepped on a bag with cans in it trying to reach the latch.
My husband is still good at it, he recently had a rachet slip and it hit him between his nose and his lip and had to get 2 stiches.

I hope you both are feeling better soon but don't beat yourself up over it, stuff happens.

oh my goodness. i feel so bad that this happened to you and your little boy. i'm sure the guilt is overwhelming. don't put yourself through too much mental anguish. time will heal on both levels, mental and physical.

he will be okay and out playing before you know it!

i am a new mom so i have A LOT to learn still but what i've already had to realize is that EVERY mother out there makes mistakes. some big, some small. nobody is perfect (even the ones who think they are )
don't waste your time and energy beating yourself up about this. redirect that energy into hugging and spending time with that little guy while you both get better.

Like everyone else, I hope for a fast recovery. Accidents are accidents, but I beat myself up about them like you do. Don't do that if you can help it. Here are my stories to make you feel a little better.

One time my daughter walked in front of her brother on the swing, luckily my husband grabbed her before she got hit in the face by his foot. But, when he grabbed her, she kept moving forward as he held her arm, and pulled her elbow out of joint. Nothing was obviously wrong to us, except for a crying child. Lucky for us, my husband had a friend who was a doctor and he called and explained it to him. And, came to the house and put it back in place.

Everyone always told me that my kids would be fine and not fall down the stairs. That was true for my sons, but my daughter must have balance issues. I decided to finally let go and give her some freedom, and she fell down every step. A bit lip was all she got out of it, but she has never stopped falling down stairs. She is over 3 and should be o.k., but she just fell a few months ago. I even put a lock on our basement door so she can't do it now. I follow her around now and everyone thinks I am crazy. I know I was lucky!

It could have happened to anyone. This is really reminding me of so many close calls. You handled yourself better than I would of. You should be proud of that.

Take Care of you Both!

Oh my! I just can imagine how you're feeling right now! You're a good mom! Take good care of him and yourself!
Everything will be fine!
I'm putting you and your family in my prayers!
((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))

Lorris

Wow, I am so sorry all this happened to you. You are still a great mom! Don't let all that negative junk get in your head and convince you that your aren't. Things happen. If you had any idea that he would get tangled in that cord and get hot wax spilled on him you wouldn't have done it i'm sure. I will say a prayer for you and your DS. I just feel so bad for you. Get well soon both of you!!

1) my best wishes and prayers for it all healing up really fast and well

2) -- speaking as a boy -- he's a boy -- what'd you expect???? docile sweet behaved little girl -- oh forget about it! -- the horror stories my family has about me!!! -- like get this impaling my arm on a picket fence! (don't ask! -- but then my nephew did manage to one up me by falling backwards onto a glass coffee table -- couldn't sit for over a week!!! hee hee hee!!)

YOU did NOT hurt him -- it was an ACCIDENT!!!

be prepared --- he's a boy -- many more to come

(my mom's mantra -- since most of mine included LOTS of blood -- NOW what!?!?!? Don't DRIP!!! Clean it up! (no sympathy!)

he'll be fine...and it'll become one of what are sure to be many "war stories" he will tell as he grows older (and shows off the remnants of the injuries!)

best to start practicing your "rolled eyes", your big sigh of an OH (as in NOW what?!?), and be prepared to laugh, lots, at his ingenious ways of getting injured.

-----------

oh .... and milk that broken foot for all its worth!! -- you deserve a break too....and don't forget to LAUGH at your own mishaps too

A big thank you to everyone! The nurse in the ER said "Honey, he is a boy! This is just your first trip here. They will get easier." Doesn't help mommy feelings though.

Today was our second day home from the hospital, DS has had to be told not to run in the house, stop jumping on the furnature, get off of the hoppy hop ball, you have boo boos remember. He is doing better than I ever expected. The abilities of a four year old to heal, move on, and show true compasion to me when I was upset is amazing. I have truly been blessed!

This is not your fault, he's a 4 year old boy. As my dad always says about my 4 year old son "He's busier than a cat covering up "
My son was trying to help my mom set up the little chairs at sunday school and went into a slight run and tripped and fell on to an old kiddie metal chair. When he fell his mouth hit the chair and ripped out some of his teeth right there root and all. He has whip-lash from the fall and his mouth was a mess, more teeth pulled and one tooth you could see the whole root through the gum line. He had to get lots of stitches since his mouth was lacerated so bad and the swelling was awful. Trent looked like one of the who's of the grinch with his mouth and jaw being so huge for a while and then he could eat anything but liquids and soft foods for a few weeks. The very next day he would cry if someone even breathed lightly on his cheeks but that didn't stop him from almost running into a wall and jumping off the furniture. 4 year old's are tough--- he may forget it with time, but I'm sure you won't ever. But he's heeling up good and doing great. You should be proud that you stayed calm under pressure and did the right thing. Your a good mom---don't doubt yourself.

Oh I am so sorry that happened, but kids are sooo prone to accidents. Especially boys. I'm convinced after seeing my three year old hurt his boy parts on a futon of all things. Don't beat yourself up about it, though I know it's hard not to! He's OK, and that's what matters, and you are the only one blaming you, just remember that. It wasn't your fault. It's something anyone could have done!

Well, get out the wet noodles and slap yourself silly. You kept your head on in an emergency. That should rank very high in mommy points. The best thing any parent can do for their family is to take a CPR course. It should be mandatory for every parent, like having a license to drive a car. You can not keep your child in a bubble and he needs to learn that dangerous things happen at home as well as the playgrounds or anywhere. I keep my candle burner on my kitchen counter. I don't have a child at home, just curious dogs and a cat.

If that's the worst accident he ever has, count yourself lucky! Things happen, even to kids with GOOD moms like you.

Some tips:

Keep a stocked first aid kit - gauze, tape, peroxide, ice packs, aloe, Pepto Bismol, etc, etc

Teach the kids HOW and WHEN to call 911

Keep an empty suitcase in the closet - makes emergency packing much faster

As Doug said, practice the eye rolling - "no blood, burns, or broken bones, get yourself a Band-aid and go play"

Keep goodies and spare change handy - change for soda machines at the ER, and goodies keep the nurses around more!

You have a boy. You will know the ER staff by name, have a favorite room there, and possibly reserved parking. And this doesn't mean you're not a good mom, either. It means you care enough to get him stitches, even when he deserves the scar

((((((((((Big Hugs)))))))))))))) I know you feel guilty, I would too but fact of the matter is this isn't your fault. It's not his fault either. He simply went under the table for his toy and a "freak accident" happened!! I know it's hard though....you're beating yourself up for plugging it in but you didn't dream of such a "freak accident" happening. At least now you know not to plug those in and also now we know.....it's so sad this happened but by you posting your experience you've probably helped some of us by cluing us in on the dangers of those things.

I'll pray for you and your sweet little boy that he recovers quickly w/ no complications.
(((hugs)))

Again thank you to everyone! I know accidents happen, and I think I could handle it better if he tripped and fell, or ran his bike into a tree, but because "I" plugged it in, it is really bothering me. As he does better physically I am doing better mentally. He is such a strong, brave boy. Perhaps to much so. It is hard to keep him down. He is still on the go, and we are trying to convince him to slow down. He is healing so fast it is unbelievable! The burns on the cheeks have faded to a light pink and his back has several areas of normal skin. Hard to believe it has just been a week.

Thanks again!

Kimberly

Kimberly

I know what you mean about feeling guilty and with time and healing it does go away.

About 15 months ago, I was unloading our truck after coming back from vacation. My 2 year old daughter was helping. I had the door partially open but only to the extent that she would fit in. She was trying to climb up into it when I opened the door further so I could get in also. I didn't realize that her hand was in the hinge and when I opened it it took her pinky from the left of the nail all the way around the back of the finger off. The only part that was attached was the side (they have little fingers). Unfortunately, I didn't handle the situation very well - I freaked out! I sent my other daughter to get my neighbor as I dialed 911. My daughter was over the crying within 3 minutes and I was still sobbing to the 911 operator. My neighbor came over and took over the phone. It took the ambulance 30 minutes to get to my house. When they got there, I was hollering about how slow they were walking up the sidewalk (of course, the door was open so they could hear me). My little Sarah was just sitting there so good, not complaining or anything. They didn't want to transport me to the ER but I told them there was no way I could drive - how do you put her in her car seat, hold her finger with pressure while you are driving in the front seat? My husband was in Iraq at the time and between me and my neighbor we had 5 kids so we didn't have enough room in the cars to take them all. They did end up taking us but informed us first that insurance may not cover the bill! Who cares about a bill at that time! Luckily, they were able to reattach her finger and she has a little scar and a double finger nail but no other problems. She does still remember and talks about her finger.

I felt so guilty and mad at myself for several months. Now I look back and realize that kids bounce back so fast and there is more trauma to the parents than them! Hang in there!

Ann

I have been lucky that my 7 year old boy has not had to many bad things happen to him only a few trips to the ER and believe me it sounds like you reacted way better than I do when my son cut his ey open on the bathtub somehow I just went into shock when he choked on a mozz stick while im first aid and cpr certified agian I was stunned still thank god for my husband being in his right mind. but all these stories remind me of my 2 nephews they are crazy austin he 12 now has hammered a nail into his finger jumped off bike ramps and fell drove mommies car into a tree and a lake but I think the thing that sticks out the most is a couple years ago his broher then 4 got his fingers stuck in the bike chain and nearly cut off once his brother was free from the chain austin then 10 stuck his fingers into the chain and nearly took them off because he was wondering how tom had done it. and thats nothing compared to what my brothers put our parents through boys are just crazy they will find a way to get into things even if every percausion is taken please do not be to hard on yourslef you are not a bad mom things happen my 3 year old once brought me my burning candle out of my bedroom before then I didnt even know she could unlock the door we can no forsee everything the only thing we can do is live and learn and get on a first name basis with the er.

When my oldest daughter, almost 9 now, was about 10 old we were helping my hubby's parents sell one of their rental homes. I was pregnant at the time and I was at the home alone with my daughter watering flowers that had recently been planted. This is in Houston where there are FIRE ANTS and me from Indiana not knowing a whole lot about them other than stay away. Apparently while spraying the sidewalk I had hit an ant hill and in case you don't know they start swarming after that. I was by a tree watering and my baby is over by the sidewalk crying. She can only crawl at this point and we'd been there a while and I thought she was just tired. She crawls over to me, still crying so I pick her up telling her we'll leave soon. I'm cradling her on my hip and watering with my other hand. All the sudden I'm getting bitten on the arm that's holding her. I look at my arm and her and there are fire ants everywhere.

I immediately put her down and strip off her clothes and her diaper because the ants were everywhere and you can't just brush them off. All the while the buggers on my arm are biting me. I take the hose and I'm hosing off my poor baby with freezing cold water. Someone drove by and I can't imagine what they must have been thinking. Anyway, I get most of the ants of her and go to the car and rip out the blanket that props up her carseat and wrap her up and head inside the empty house. I put her down and make sure she's ant free and then I start stripping off my own shirt and start picking the ants off me. All of the sudden I realize my baby crawled off and I get to the next room in time to see her tumbling down the steps (naked mind you). She only fell (rolled) down maybe 5 steps at the most, but after the ants I just felt horrible. I had to take her home naked because I hadn't brought a diaper bag with me since we loved less than 10 minutes away.

She was fine of course, the bites didn't even seem to bother her and she was covered with them. We went for a tour of the maternity ward at the hospital we were going to and one of the nurses was all concerned because it looked like my daughter had chicken pox from all the bites LOL.

I have a nice big backwards shaped 'L' on my left thigh right above my knee. I was 7 or 8 when I was at a high school graduation party, I was racing a skateboard with some kids and wasn't paying attention to where I was going and I managed to run smack dab into a bicycle. I ripped my leg open right down to the bone, I had quite the wound on my leg. The ER surgeon did a really crappy job sewing it back together in my eyes.
I also have a small scar under my lip that you can't really see. That happened when I tripped on my socks on the step at a bowling alley with my bowling ball in my arms. (The one time my dad decides to let me carry the ball myself.) Conked my chin right on the ball and bit my lip clean through, thankfully that was only a couple of stitches. This is why I prefer bowling alleys that have shoes in kids sizes, don't want to see a repeat happen with my son.
Oh, almost forgot, I have some small round scars on my right arm that is a grease burn. Used to work at Burger King, well, the heat shelf that toasts the buns while you are sending the meat through had a lot of black thick grease built up on it at the time this happened. Well, it's the lunch hour and of course we're sending tons of meat and buns through and the shelf starts on fire. Well, stupid me thinks that the buns will start on fire, so while I'm grabbing for the toasted buns, another co-worker is using french fry salt to put out the fire. Well, he's tossing it into the flames and guess what happens, that's right, I get thick black grease splashed onto my arm. I quickly ran to the handwash sink and rinsed it right off. Now I should have just ran cold water on it and then drove to the ER, but I didn't. I was very lucky because I didn't have insurance at the time and those burns could have gotten infected because I lost a layer of skin in the spots where the grease hit my arm.
I have a tendancy to burn myself alot, steam burns (those are the worst), grease burns, and hot pan burns. In fact I just recently burned the top of my right hand on one of the heating elements in my toaster oven. I was reaching towards the back of the toaster oven and caught my hand on one of the elements. That hurt too, thankfully it is healing up nicely. (Band-aids and neosporin)
I keep a pouch full of band-aids and neosporin in my linen closet just in case.

when I was 7 I got my leg stuck inbetween two steps at are apartment complex we had to have the fire department come to get it out i still have that scar. I completly forgot earlier talk about feeling guilty when my dd was about a year and a half we were at this really old park and it had this tall old metal slide and she kept wanting to go down it and I would say no and stop her and after about a hundred times of this i said fine go ahead and she went all the way up and fell backwards the only thing that stopped her from falling all the way was her leg caught around the bar once I got her down I was holding her comforting her it took me a good min to find there was blood gushing from her chin I was in a town I had never been before I had to find the ER and her chin ended up getting glued back togther I felt just horriable you know how could I let her climb up that old rickity slide I think she will have that scar forever luckily its on the underside of her chin but there is no perminent damage the kid still loves slides even though I have panic attacks every time she climbs to the top of one.