These stories are just too funny!! I can't think of anything particularly stupid that I've done to get injured, but here's something a bit ironic. 5 years ago on Thanksgiving day, my mother stepped down a stair wrong while moving furniture and broke a bone in her right foot. She was taking forever to heal and couldn't stand not being able to get out and drive. Anyway, being that nice daughter that I am, I stopped by her house one morning after work to visit. I parked the car and walked back down the paved driveway to pick up the newspaper. On my way back up I stepped on one of those prickly gumball thingys from a tree and turned my ankle. I had to crawl back to the house, still managed to carry the paper, and rang the doorbell. Dad took me to Patient First and what-do-ya-know, I broke my ankle. We both spent Christmas with casts on our feet. Everyone got a laugh from mom and daughter in all the photos with our feet propped up in casts. At least mine was the left and I could still drive.
My brother is a whole other story. I've only been told about things being the baby of the family. Supposedly, my brother went outside in a golfball size hailstorm and held the umbrella upside down to catch hailstones instead of protecting his head, DUH! Another time, he picked up a piece of a cinder block and threw it in the air and watched it fall back down on his head. Jumping on the couch, fell off and lodged a wooden childrens block in his head. Got a brand new pocket knife for christmas and immediately sliced open his finger (wow, something that didn't involve his head). Our older sister decided to torment him as a baby and would hold his nose shut until he gasped for air. She once decided that it was more important to go out and play instead of babysitting so she surrounded him with pillows so he couldn't roll away, and placed one more on top of him over his face and left the house. And we wonder why he's so very strange!
VACakelady,
The tears are rolling...just to funny 
Just noticed this thread and couldn't resist:
1. At 2, my sister hit me in the eye with the handle of one of her toys. My eye has a permanent droop.
2. At 5, I was trying to pet a cousin's dog that was trying to eat a ham bone. I guess he thought I was going to get his bone, so he took a plug out of my neck, 5 stitches. No permanent fear of dogs, but still have scar.
3. At about 6, I sat the telephone down a glass topped nightstand and broken the glass, which went into my foot, can't remember for sure but don't think I got stitches that time, but yet another
scar.
4. at 7, fighting with older sister, she pushed me into the headboard of the bed and busted my head open. 7 stitches that time, plus the scar.
5. Around 7-8yo, for some unknown reason, my mother was turning over some rocks on my grandparents property and wouldn't you know there was a huge snake under one of them....I was on the same side of the barbed wire fence with the snake, but only briefly. Tore my leg open getting to the other side of the fence. No stitches, but guess what!! I got a scar!!
6. Here's the biggy. At 13, my Dad, Stepmom and my sisters and I were rock climbing in Arkansas the day after school let out for summer....I looked down and saw the broken glass and rotten watermelon rinds, but being bold, I jumped down and naturally slipped and cut my leg open just below the knee. 65 stitches and could not do anything all summer but doctor on that leg....Of course that is the biggest scar yet.
Also have broken several toes, running into furniture, but luckily no major broken bones...
Isn't it interesting some of the things that happen to us growing up and we actually lived to tell about it??? Some of the stories on here are mind boggling. Thankfully we can laugh about our past mishaps.
as I am sitting here reading these...and laughing so hard.....thinking to myself I don't have any funny stories like that from my childhood (I'll be 50 on the 9th of this month)......and then I return to childhood......and remember.................
at 4.....we were visiting our friends "camp'.....(house by a lake)....it had a rocky ravine with a swinging rope and all the older kids ( I always seemed to be the youngest) were swinging over the rocks. my mom had absolutely forbid me to do it.....but I talked my Dad into letting me.....and you guessed it....I got scared and let go of the rope...and into the rocks I went.....lucky only to have a broken tooth.....and two parents who didn't seem to speak for a few days!!!! 
same camp....next year.....we were preparing to leave and I was barefoot......and it was dark.....and I was unware that the coals from the grill had been emptied onto the ground......and yes I did my version of walking on hot coals......and still remember the pain and longggggg ride to the hospital......
I never got to go back to the camp!
when I was six......sledding down "devils curve"....wrecked.....sliced knee.....great scar!!!!!
also that year in the spring....was playing jump the brook...(you're as old as me if you remember that!!)....jumped it but fell.....broke my wrist....cast for six weeks (and let me just mention my dad was in a cast...he had been putting in a window air conditioning unit and fell off the ladder and broke his arm......and my brother who was in high school had been playing volleyball at the beach on spring break (or so he told my parents 
)..and broke his arm and was in a cast)......so we made quite the family picture when we went out in public that spring!!!
when i was seven....was standing up on a porch swing in my neighbors yard.....fell backwards and broke my collarbone
fast foward to junior high....had a crush on a high school guy who taught horse back riding lessons....took lessons....did pretty good until I had to ride a mare who was only days from birthing....she bucked me.....sprang my ankle and broke my wrist (same wrist) cast for another 6 weeks
in high school my senior year....again spring....playing basketball (again because of a boyfriend)......landed wrong on my foot.....knew I had broken it...but didn't tell my parents....(what girl wants to be in a cast spring of her senior year!!) just told them I had sprained it....finally after three weeks my mom made me go to "my" orthopedic Dr........and yep....he confirmed with xrays what i knew...it was broken....but lucky for me it had started healing correctly and he didn't make my wear a cast....but gave me a good lecture!!! (which was still better than a cast )
and I'm with everybody else......Dale what do you do for a living!!!!!???
well hope this has brought a few chuckles your way!!!! Donna
Several years ago when my neice was little she wanted to ride the pony we had....Old Gus. I went out to the pen and jumped on her and rode her to the gate bareback with no bridle. Well, it was feeding time and I didn't think about it.......Gus always runs to the front of the barn to eat when I open the gate. I opened the gate and Gus ran to the front of the barn. I didn't make the sharp turn at the corner. Fell hard on my butt and couldnt walk for two whole weeks. I still have some trouble from it. Gus got his supper though.
Let's see... I'd like to jump in on this thread!
Childhood Gymnastics:
1. Cousin and I were doing cartwheels in opposite directions facing each other. Naturally we hit (hard). Luckily it was the back of my head that got hit (it's hard). However, my head hit my cousin square in the eye. Worst bloody black eye I've ever seen!
2. Practicing doing a split on the practice balance beam (basically just a 4x4 on a little stand) and found a very large splinter with my foot. It went in one side then out the other.
3. Embarrassing moment!!! At gymnastics camp I had on a leotard that was actually a body suit that snapped at the crotch. Instructor was using me to demonstrate a move on the uneven bars. I messed it up and instructor caught me by the back of my leotard and the snaps popped! You can figure out the rest lol
Childhood Moments:
1. Riding home from a friends house on my bike holding my Teddy Bear in my left arm and steering the bike with only my right hand. Going down a steep hill I lost control and fell off my bike and ran over my own toe. Still can see the scar. Teddy was fine. 
2. Used Pledge furniture polish as air freshener in the kitchen. Phone rang and I RAN down the hall to get to the kitchen to answer the phone (I was in my sock feet). Slipped across the kitchen floor on my butt into the wall.
Adult Mishaps:
1. Went to the garden to cut an eggplant off the vine with a big knife. I thought about what I was doing and knew that the way I had my hand and the way I was going to cut that I would most likely cut my thumb. So I turned my hand around and when I cut I sliced open my finger!! lol *dumb*
2. Same thing as #1 but with a ham this time and unfortunately same finger (thumb looks fine though). I have a nice "X" on my finger from both cuttings.
3. This one was a miracle that I wasn't hurt. Driving down the expressway at 65 mph I had a hair on my forehead bugging me. (Had to stop and shudder thinking about this!) Well I took my hand and kinda flicked the hair back. However, it was not a hair!!! It was the leg of a GRAND DADDY LONGLEGS SPIDER!!! I flung it off my hand and it went over to the passengers side of the car. I totally forgot all about driving my car and was fighting with this spider! I didn't know what to do. I don't even remember see the road. He started walking toward me and I was freaking out! I ended up exiting the freeway and finally getting him out of my car. I tell everyone that God drove my car because I know I didn't!
These stories are just too funny my family wonders why the heck I burst out laughing suddenly.
Let's see, last year when we first moved into our house I was moving our NEW trash can to the side of the house. I was having trouble getting the sucker to roll over the rocks. Well I wound up tripping and stumbling into the trash can and with my feet dangling out and my kind new neighbor helped me up and out of the can. ::sigh:: Very embarassing 
This past august I was in chicago for my cousins wedding and I was attending her bachlorette dinner. I get to the place looking ever so nice in my heels and all, with her present in tote ( Adult gag gifts and such, ya know). Anyways I'm going down the stairs where the table is at and as I'm getting to the last few steps it happens. Yes, I slipped, my shoe went one way the gift went the other, as if that wasn't bad enough the dildo also flew out of the box. So there I am on my butt, no shoe, no dildo, and a table of my friends and family standing and aplauding. ::sigh:: 
So there you have it.
My name is Melony and I am a clutz.
Dale
4. Most recently....Just a few months ago...got choked on cantaloupe at a restaurant. Hubby had to do the Heimlich on me at the buffet table!! Talk about frickin' embarrassing!! I have never walked back in that restaurant and now when we go out to eat the kids say "Mom you can't have any fruit!" 
Those are my most traumatic things I can think of.
Hugs, ~Deniseedited for my terrible spelling!
Oh my gosh! Denise, I just saw this topic while doing a search for "wire" and as I read I saw your post and just about peed my pants!!
I love it when you can actually "hear" someone's expression in their post!!
Tarina
Anyone remember slam dancing? My cousin slam danced me right into a coffee table and I had to get stitches over my eye. that was a dumb idea.
OMIGOSH! It is amazing y'all are able to decorate these beautiful cakes with all of the injuries! Perhaps it tells of the adventursome spirit you have that enables you to create such lovely things.
My guess is that Dale is a police officer of some sort. Maybe?
Careful guys.....
OMIGOSH! It is amazing y'all are able to decorate these beautiful cakes with all of the injuries! Perhaps it tells of the adventursome spirit you have that enables you to create such lovely things.
My guess is that Dale is a police officer of some sort. Maybe?
Careful guys.....
Ohhh !! That gives me an idea, we should all take a guess at what Dale does being that he gets injured on the job so much.
I'll guess a Super Hero/ Stuntman/ Dare devil by Day and cake decorator by night, or vise versa.
Whatever you do I'm sure you do it well. 
Dale must be a cop or something in law enforcemnt (or else a bouncer, LOL)
Here are some of mine:
Age 4: was wearing socks in the garage and was "ice skaiting" on the slick cement while mom was doing laundry. There was a piece of sheet metal and I lost control and slid in leg first. (my dad was a welder) That took stitches...have a big scar.
age 8: was sitting on our pipe metal fence on the top row. You know that trick you do on the swing set where you hold on and flip forward and then hang? Well I decided to try that but forgot about the lower row of pipe and slammed into it nose first. Blood everywhere, I didn't pass out or cry. That is until I got to the porch and looked down and saw the cement was red from blood. Went to er, no stitches and nose luckily wasn't broken.
7th grade: Ran myself over with a tractor. I was visiting my cousins who own a dairy farm. We always spent a week out there every summer. It was a very old tractor with not very good brakes and was always left in gear so it wouldn't roll. My cousin asked me to turn on the lights as it had gotten dark and we were on the last set of cows to feed. I turned on the key, turned on the lights and then thought "I'll blow the horn show she'll hurry up" Well, it was the starter button, not the horn and the tractor started up immediately and ran me over. I grabbed hold of the underside of the tractor and it dragged me a good ways before my cousin got it turned off. It ran over my foot but almost got my back and head. Plus the lift was down on the back and I would have been crushed by it I think. No emergency room for miles so had to wait till next day to go home. All my toes were broke on the left side and only cracked the top part of my foot. Luckily I was wearing rubber boots that went with the flow...Had a cast on for 8 weeks or so and missed the church ski trip I had worked so hard to earn money for.
age 22: this wasn't me but I have to tell some on my hubby who is very accident prone and always seems to be trying to blind himself. He superglued his eye trying to put the rear view mirror back on the car!! It said to open, point away from eye and poke the end with the lid. Which he did and a blob shot out and went right into his eye. He said he felt it glueing shut and grabbed his eye and kept it open. We had friends over (with kids) and he came running into the house holding his eye open and threw the package at me....(so I could read what to do). We couldn't figure out what was wrong, LOL. He finally managed to tell us. Spent 4 hours at the ER getting his eye flushed and flouresced and etc...Ended up with a scratch on his cornea but it healed.
age 22.5: My hubby is in the coast guard and he had a part time job working at the airport fueling planes. he got aviation fuel in his eyes. Ugh, his eyes were bloody red for a while but he was ok.
Age 23: hubby got aviation fuel in his eyes again! Not as bad this time thankfully. This was the last eye incident for him luckily!
Age 35: broke my ankle playing hockey (well I had help from another player) I broke the knob off the inside of my ankle. ( just the inside knob, LOL) The doctor said it was the weirdest thing he had ever seen. I now have three huge metal screws and a bracket in there to keep it on. Still playing hockey though!
The scary thing is I think my 3 year old son has the klutz gene. he and his sister were bed diving and he dove into his pillow but missed and got the head board. Cut the middle of his forehead down to the bone. I stayed calm and he had stopped crying by the time we got to the car. Required only three stitches (it was a big cut though) and about 6 shots to numb it (that was the worst part!!) he was very brave.
then 8 weeks later he and his sister were playing horsey on the bed and he got bucked off into the (you guessed it) headboard. Big gash above eyebrow, no bone and no stiches this time although it was iffy and they thought it could go either way. Again he stopped crying by the time we got to the car. What a tough little guy.
I think the gene has skipped my daugther luckily, (knock on wood)
Amy in Alaska
My turn:
1. when i was about 13 i wanted to make my own bday cake and my mom had on e of the old sears counter top mixer that had the double beaters(attached to each other) i was scraping the bowl with the mixer running and b4 i knew it the beater had snatched the spoon but i fought back and it took my hand in too. FREAKED OUT my mom-first stitches i ever had!
2. when i was about 10 my sister and i were at our granny's house and got into an arguement. i chased her into a corner and went to punch her she ducked and i hit the light switch plate(yes the plate edge!) and broke my thumb! freaked out my granny onthat one!
3. when i was 25 i was at my sisters house and the dh's were aent on an "emergency" run to the store and i remembered that i wanted a kit-kat when they were about to pull out of the drive. i ran outside (IN THE DARK) and tried to catch him. in my hurry for the kit kat i forgot about the landscape timbers sticking up with the rope line between them and tried to jump over the drive(thank the lord it was a dirt drive) fell flat on my face!! the dh's were very nice and saved the laughs until i had all the dirt out of my teeth and gums! my dh got me my kit-kat though !! sweety
now its his turn!!
1. we were planning to go out one night a while back and i was tring to finish a section of a cross-stitch pattern first. he wanted me to hurry so i just put the needle into the material and left it on the couch. later we were playing around and he ran around the corner and jumped onto the couch to get away from me( after he scared the **** out of me). alnded right on the needle!! al i heard was a really girly scream and i ran into the living room and he's standing there legs spread and the needle sticking out of his jeans!! it was in his legso he couldn't pull it our and i had to. karma's great!!
2. he also has to sleep with at least 2 fans going in the room. one night he got up to go to the bathroom in the dark and forgot where the box fan was on the floor. painfull yelp. i woke up to him with his pinky toe stuck into the grate of the fan!!! i laughed so hard on that one!!! i'm still laughin on that one!! 
dale needs to try out for that show"MOST DANGEROUS JOBS" I bet he'd get on it!! this is a great thread.. very entertaining!!
1. we were planning to go out one night a while back and i was tring to finish a section of a cross-stitch pattern first. he wanted me to hurry so i just put the needle into the material and left it on the couch. later we were playing around and he ran around the corner and jumped onto the couch to get away from me( after he scared the **** out of me). alnded right on the needle!! al i heard was a really girly scream and i ran into the living room and he's standing there legs spread and the needle sticking out of his jeans!! it was in his legso he couldn't pull it our and i had to. karma's great!!
roflmao...that's hilarious! Great story!
i had to get some one to explain what roflmao meant and yes i was doing the same as i tried to get the needle out of his leg!!
the fan story cracks me up every time though.. all i keep seeing is the little peanut looking toe sticking inside the fan grate!! i had to break the grate to get it out !!!
Dale...I hope you are better and feeling well soon. I am very sorry that you are hurt......
That said...if this was again job related......maybe you should check out the Sunday paper help wanted ads..... 
You're hurt again? Ya know, you don't need to go and get all new injuries just to keep this thread alive,lol. It's doing pretty good with everyones stories In all seriousness I truly do hope u feel better really soon.
Stay Safe
maybe you should check out the show on discovery channel called worlds most dangerous jobs!! i bet you'd get on!! seriusly though get well soon and tell us about it!! 
Dale, I noticed that you hadn't been around and missed you. I hope you are feeling better soon. Please don't give the nurses a hard time. I am sure you have ask for your share of sponge baths!
Well, Im out of the hospital and at home. Im goning to have quite the manly scar. It was a pretty bad injury but it wasnt a dumb one, unusual the way it happened though.
I pulled up on a tractor trailer and checked on the driver. He was in full cardiac arrest. He had pulled his truck off the road next to a guard rail. I had to pull him out of the cab in order to start CPR. I stood on the guardrail and reached in to get him out. He was a large fellow, his weight came down on me a little more than I expected. I stepped back and the I beam support post of the guard rail got me in the leg. I thought "Thats gonna leave a mark!" When I went to lay him down so I could start cpr, my leg gave out and I thought "I've broke my damn leg!" I laid him out and crawled over to his head to open his airway. I called for another ambulance in addition to the one already called for him. I told them I broke my leg. Im thinking, can it get any worse?
Just then EMS arrived to and started to work on him. I laid back and looked down at my leg, as the pain was excruciating at this point. I could see bone thru my uniform. I thought...hmmm...this cant be good. In the end, another EMS truck arrived and worked on me. When they ask "are you allergic to morphine?" and you say "No" when you really dont know because you never have had it before...that is not the right answer. I found out shortly "Yes, it can get worse!"
All in all, turns out the leg wasnt broken, the steel gueard rail post just opened my leg up above my ankle up to just below the knee, exposing the bone and muscles. The bone was scraped and muscles were torn...as far as I remember, your not supposed to see your own insides.
The nurses and doctors were absolutely great...they even put up with my jokes...which were not really top notch at the moment. So..now I have about a month to do nothing..sitting on my butt. Hopefully I'll be back on the job sooner than than expected.
Sadly, the gentleman that I was trying to save died in the room across from me. It made me very sad to find that out, they waited to the next day to tell me. My thoughts are with him and his family.
Look for me more often...as I've got absolutely nothing to do now! Cant even bake a cake!
Dale
See my guess was right, Super Hero. Glad ur back and ok. Sorry about the man I'm sure that was hard. Get well soon and try to stay safe.
Dale my heart is breaking for the man, his family, and you. Super hero is an understatement. I hope you heal quickly. The world needs more Dale's in it!
A practice board and a bag of icing can do wonders to take your mind off of your troubles.
HAHAAH neither does my DH but he wears them just for our DD. Daddies are always super heroes to their lil girls.
Yep..they were right...super hero.
I know that must be tough to think about sitting around all day, So we are happy to entertain.....
I still can't think of anything I did (never broken anything and I only had stiches once when I fell a s a child). My friend however.... came to visit me when I was stationed in COlorado Springs. In case you have never been there, there are 4 military bases in one town (peterson AFB, NORAD (me), Forst Carson (DH), and the AF Academy). Anyway, being in the west there seemed to be a larger than ordinary number of country bars. One of the big things to do at the time was swing dance. ANYWAY! My friend comes out to visit from college and was quite impressed (or entertained) with all the two stepping and stuff. She got that down pretty quickly (neither of us being what I would call graceful!). So a couple drinks later...she decides she can dance with the guy that likes to throw the girls around like swing dancing. Well, they were going well for a while...twirls and such....then he throws here up in the air and then down between his legs and I imagine is intending to pull her back up. Impressive huh? Well maybe not so much since she freaked out when she when careening to the floor. Apparently she let go (BAD MOVE) and went sliding under and out, crashing into the crowds of people that had stopped to watch the spectacle. Apparently to embarrassed to notice or care she continued to dance the night away. However, in the morning she noticed that her ankle was the size of three ankles! We are still friends and I can't say as I have ever seen her swing dance since!
Bye!
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