I have begun to believe that in this day and age, NO ONE RSVPs anymore. I love having parties and every time I have one, very few people RSVP (but still show up). I've heard the argument that few people even know what "RSVP" means anymore so usually when I have a party I'll put "please let me know if you will be coming" or something to that effect. I've come to realize it's more about people being lazy, rude or forgetful

Enough of the venting, here's my question....we are having a Christmas party at our house and I sent out over 50 evites (awesome site for sending out free invitations). I've had about 20 people tell me for sure and I still have about 16 invites unanswered or maybe. Now of those, they are all couples w/kids so we're talking about a potential additional 32+ people. Now, I think everyone here would know that making food (and dessert ) for 20 people or 50 people is quite a big difference!

I want to send a follow up note to those who have not responded yes or no. I want it to be more direct than "don't forget to let me know" but don't want to be rude. DH is a jokester so he's made a couple of suggestions but I'm not real fond of them. I'm in the mood to just say "take 2 seconds to click yes or no and TELL ME!" but I don't want to make anyone mad With it being a Christmas party, people are making plans so you know they aren't "unsure" a week before a party!

OK, I'm done, I feel better! Anyone have any suggestions????

How about -
Whew, what a hectic time of year. I am certain that being so caught up in the midst of your holiday preparations you haven't had a minute to respond to my invitation. I need to know how many guests will be attending my party so that I will be prepared to receive all of you well. Will you be able to attend my party?
Something along those lines that tells them that you understand it is a hectic time of year but at the same time you need to know so you are prepared. The use of "Need" and the definitive word "Will" reflects that you need an immediate response.
Hugs Squirrelly

No kidding! I agree with you 100% about RSVPing! I don't even remember what it literally translates to, but I know that it means, tell me if you're coming or not. I've heard people say that they assume it means respond ONLY if you ARE coming and others think it means respond ONLY if you AREN'T coming. How the heck am I supposed to know what you interpret it to mean?! I'm hosting a small Christmas party this weekend and did Evites too. Some have looked at it but haven't responded. Come on, put "Maybe" if you're not sure! Tell me something. Do you think the idea is stupid, have something to do so you'll miss dinner, want to leave early, don't know what dish to bring (it's a potluck type dinner)??? I used to sell Tupperware and got the same type of response- NONE!

Now that I'm done venting...I think Squirelly has a great idea. I love the way she words it! I wouldn't hesitate to call either. Have the non-responders looked at the Evite yet? They may not have time or gotten the invite. (Some places block it as spam) Still, with calling, you are more likely to get a response than continuing to email.

Kelly

Kelly, yes, you can tell on the evite if they've viewed it or not. I think it would be different if it was a casual event where it's maybe come and go or whatever----but these people know me, and they know I'm going to plan good food. I think alot of people just don't think about the fact that you "need" to know. And RSVP translated means répondez s'il vous plaît, which is please reply, ur right, most people think declines only. I think it's more that they just don't care or are too busy or inconsiderate (not necessarily in a hateful way).

Squirrellycakes--you are right, that's a good option. It is a "need" otherwise I wouldn't care! I'm going to have fun whether they are there or not!

I'm so with you guys on this one!! people that don't RSVP make me sooooo mad.... ..I thought that it was a Miami latin thing ... but I guess it's everywhere. I don't see anything wrong with asking people a second time I like your dh's suggestion buest but SquirrellyCakes makes the more sound suggestion

the other day I called someone to RSVP and she actually sounded shocked that I took the time to call... what is this world coming to??

What surprises me is that I'm not talking about teenage kids or people who just generally don't care. I'm talking about mid-30s people like myself, married, kids, etc. If they were having some type of gathering, THEY would want to know!! DH told me I should care but I do and HAVE to! I bet if they all showed up at my house and all there was to eat was chex mix they would care!

MamaFrogCakes, I was contemplating having another Christmas party this year, but decided not to because last year I was so stressed out because no one RSVPed, I had no idea how many people were coming!!! I feel if someone took the time to think of you and invite you to a party, you can at least email to say yes or no, it takes two minutes!!!

..yes, it is very fustrating! We are going thru the same thing here..we are hosting a neighborhood New Years Eve party and our house. Since the deadline to RVSP has passed, I am in the process of calling each person and want to say something like...I am sorry you won't be joining us for the NYE party....and just see how they respond. I don't know if I have the nerve to say that to them but it sure is tempting!

Yeah it is frustrating! My deadline is Friday but I know I won't have any other responses by then. I was reading on the net and saw where someone said that since she didn't have any RSVPs she was going to make other plans and not even be at the house! Then would people would show up and there was no one there, she would say SORRY DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE COMING! Now, I don't have the nerves for that!
Last major party we had a had a TON of food expecting a lot of people and 1/2 showed up, this time if I can't nail people down, I'm going to do the opposite. I always worry about people starving or something but hey, if they eat EVERYTHING I have, then great and sorry! (but what are the true odds of that happening?)

I'm with everyone on this frustrating topic! I always put RSVPs on my invitations but no one seems to bother. This past year I sent out birthday invitations for my DD's birthday party and about 5 people RSVP'ed (she had about 9 kids in her class). On the day of her party, ONLY 1 KID showed up!

I'm for more of a forward, somewhat aggressive response to the people that you haven't heard from, but Squirrelly has the better response.

OMG thats terrible...people are really getting more and more rediculous as the days go by.

I'm with everyone on this topic...CALL THEM!!

It takes even more effort on your part, but calling them is the only way you're going to know for sure. Even if you just have to leave a voice message or something, you KNOW they'll be getting it, so there's no room for excuses for not returning your call. I love throwing parties...and since I have 3 kids, it's been mainly their birthday parties for the past 6 yrs...lol. But I send out invitations 20 days before the date of the party....just a little more than 2 weeks, so the parents have time to plan to attend or have time to let me know that they won't be there. And I stopped putting RSVP at the bottom...I found out that some people read it as too formal and intimidating...whatever that means...lol. I started putting "Please give me a call & let me know if you can make it!...phone #" or even something simple like..."Regrets: phone #" - still only a few people are respectful enough to call and let me know whether they'll be there or not. So I just start calling those who don't respond about one week before the party....it bugs some people, but most are understanding & very apologetic. One really great thing is that after doing this a few times with some of the same people, they eventually GET that it's important to you (for your planning) for them to rsvp or send regrets, either way...and they'll pick up on it and start doing it. When I call, I usually just say something like "I want to make sure to have a party favor or goodie bag for your son/daughter if ya'll are coming...are you able to make it?" For more adult parties, I think Squirrelly's wording is great! Precise & puts the ball in their court. Don't know why most people seem to think that RSVPing is only for more formal events or weddings, but around here that's the general viewpoint too. IMO, the scale of the event doesn't lessen the need to plan for the amt. of food needed, etc. Good luck with your party...I hope you have a great time!!

Email is great, but with spam filters and such you can't always gaurentee that the people that haven't written back even got the evite.

You may want to send them a snail mail version or give them a call telling them you are making your list and checking it twice and wanted to check and see if they got the evite.

Yeah but on evite you can see who opened the invitation or not! So there are people that open it but don't respond!
I took Squirrelly's advice and dropped them a note. I didn't want to sit down and call each person plus I think that makes people be on the defensive or unprepared. Maybe it's just me!
I've gotten a few more responses, so it's helping.
I think it makes me more mad that people are inconsiderate!! But I knew this already so I shouldn't be surprised!

I think RSVP means responde sil vous plait--- french for respond back please or something like that..