Things Not To Ask/say To A Baker!

Decorating By step0nmi Updated 11 Jan 2016 , 1:15am by Apti

vgcea Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 12:55am
post #91 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by shanter 

 

No, but it is CLEAN AND MODERN!

BEST POST EVER!!! Touche!

cortneykotzian Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 1:19am
post #92 of 3199

AALL OF THESE annoy me! Apart from the buttercream question(by far my #1 anger trigger), my least favorite questions are as follows:

From customers: 1.) is that edible? * dream answer: No, it's actually poison. 2.) is this gluten free? Or Can you make this cake gluten free without eggs? (when the customer orders gluten free items) * no, we offer these options purposely to scam you into eating gluten!, no eggs, no sugar, no gluten, no fat, no calories? Of course that's possible, no extra charge? Absolutely! 3.) why is this cake so expensive? Or "the wedding industry is such a scam!" * well sir, (mostly grooms I've heard this from) the insanely detailed cake your bride to be just brought me for 500 guests, will cost me MORE than your budget to bake and ice alone! Not to mention the labor... Sure, I could take a huge loss to make YOUR wedding perfect, but after you asked me to make the grooms cake into a 3-D exact replica of your pet lizard, in buttercream (deciding you HATE the flavor of fondant, only after I gave you a quote), called my icing too sweet, my cake "dry" and have practically accused me of stealing from you... Nah, full price for you, plus a "groomzilla" charge, just for fun. 4.) I read in a mag. That my cake will be cheaper if I order a dummy cake, and a bunch of sheet cakes. *this is ALWAYS made as a true statement. When I explain that the dummies cost money, then the cakes, and the decoration fees will be the same, and that in the end it costs more... Well, I'm stealing again.

shanter Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 1:22am
post #93 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by vgcea 

BEST POST EVER!!! Touche!

 

Thank you . . . . . Thank you. . . . . I'll be here all week.*

 

* Humor not guaranteed, depending on work load, depressive mental attitude, delirium, unconsciousness, seasonal anxiety . . . Witticisms void where prohibited. Must be 14 or older to read my posts. Not available to employees of the University of Washington Medical Center or their families. shanter makes no warranty, express or implied, including the warranties of safety and fitness for use in any environment, or assumes any legal liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information, or represents that its use would not infringe privately owned rights. It is further understood and accepted that information presented herein is abbreviated in the interest of time and lacks significant qualifying detail that should be considered prior to instituting any changes based on the information received. Your mileage may vary.

FullHouse Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 1:35am
post #94 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar 

Because moist is an armpit or a crotch, not cake. Cake is soft, not moist. Apologies to those who are offended by the word "crotch." But now I said it twice.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by -K8memphis 

 

 

I mean sometimes I don't wanna play along and I just wanna smile and say,

 

"No some of them taste like hot sh__. Right this way for your tasting"

 

You are both too funny!

 

Oh, and another one that drives me bat-sh*t crazy are the customers who look completely perplexed when I insist that they cannot put their cake in the trunk in 100+degree weather, or on a 45 degree incline so it fits between all the crap they have piled in their car.  This is after they have received instructions on their invoice and a follow up email with transport requirements.  They are the reason I have all pickups sign that the cake was received as ordered, transport and storing instructions have been provided and the cake is now their responsibility.

Elcee Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 1:39am
post #95 of 3199

"Oh, you do cakes? I watch Cake Boss all the time."

vgcea Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 2:35am
post #96 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by shanter 

 

Thank you . . . . . Thank you. . . . . I'll be here all week.*

 

* Humor not guaranteed, depending on work load, depressive mental attitude, delirium, unconsciousness, seasonal anxiety . . . Witticisms void where prohibited. Must be 14 or older to read my posts. Not available to employees of the University of Washington Medical Center or their families. shanter makes no warranty, express or implied, including the warranties of safety and fitness for use in any environment, or assumes any legal liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information, or represents that its use would not infringe privately owned rights. It is further understood and accepted that information presented herein is abbreviated in the interest of time and lacks significant qualifying detail that should be considered prior to instituting any changes based on the information received. Your mileage may vary.

I actually read the disclaimer... hehehe. I need to go make myself useful somewhere LOL.

costumeczar Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 2:49am
post #97 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elcee 

"Oh, you do cakes? I watch Cake Boss all the time."

My favorite...also "Have you ever seen (fill in any cake show here)."

mcaulir Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 3:28am
post #98 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by hbquikcomjamesl 

Am I missing something here?

Oh thank goodness - I read this post three times and still couldn't work out what the problem was. In fact, the whole first page of this thread had me pretty confused.

 

My favourite question is, 'When do you have time to do make these cakes?' My favourite answer at the moment is, 'I neglect my children, and I live in squalor.'

 

As though I'd be sitting around on the couch if I didn't spend some of my time making cake. As though other people don't do scrapbooking, or restore furniture, or knit, or play tennis, or any other hobby.

Evoir Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 3:51am
post #99 of 3199

I've heard so many of these, numerous times. I had a think about it, and the ONE thing that seems to give me the irrits more than anything else is the last-minute callers for an 'oh-so-important' special occasion, who can't seem to get their head around the idea of this being a custom cake business. That whole thing of expecting you to pull a cake out of your...cakehole really frustrates when I am already neck-deep in wedding orders usually at the end of a busy week.

 

Call me old-fashioned, by why would you not go to a Michels, or supermarket bakery, or Cheesecake Shop or even a cornerstore bakery and buy a simple sponge cake instead of thinking someone to slap together a specialty-flower-or-fondant-adorned mud cake in an hour or so?

kazita Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 3:57am
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AFullhouse- I actually have a lady tell me she was going to put my buttercream , perishable filling cake in the back of her Suv and leave it there for a day and a half in mid summer heat and expect the cake to hold up to this fform of torture. I mean Really people would you do that with a gallon of milk and expect it to taste oh so yummy

costumeczar Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 4:02am
post #101 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evoir 

 

Call me old-fashioned, by why would you not go to a Michels, or supermarket bakery, or Cheesecake Shop or even a cornerstore bakery and buy a simple sponge cake instead of thinking someone to slap together a specialty-flower-or-fondant-adorned mud cake in an hour or so?

"But it only takes them an hour on tv..." Yes, I've heard that one before.

step0nmi Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 4:58am
post #102 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by hbquikcomjamesl 

Am I missing something here?

yes, you missed the part where she HATES fondant. so she is basically saying "don't make the cake with fondant" but asks about the buttercream instead 

jason_kraft Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 5:05am
post #103 of 3199

A

Original message sent by step0nmi

yes, you missed the part where she HATES fondant. so she is basically saying "don't make the cake with fondant" but asks about the buttercream instead 

To me it just sounded like she was confirming that the cake would be covered with BC and not fondant.

step0nmi Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 5:09am
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OMG YOU GUYS HAVE ME SO PROUD! 

 

I have to give you guys some of my favorites reading through this thread. Some of them may be repeated but i don't care...it was the way you put them that tickled me ;) icon_wink.gif

 

no FREE cakes for you!

No, I will not bring a specialty cake to a pot luck dunce.gif

Chocolate cake is pretty common and should be easy enough for anyone to makebirthday.gif

You can do cakes with your eyes closed!

K8Memphis "Well, have of us don't like cake anyway, it's so sweet we'll do it for two servings and half the price"

CLEAN AND MODERN! 

Do your cakes taste good?

Elcee "Oh, you do cakes? I watch Cake Boss all the time."

 

THIS IS SO FREAKIN' FUNNY!!! thanks everyone...keep it up. seriously, need to write these things down! 

step0nmi Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 5:09am
post #105 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by jason_kraft 


To me it just sounded like she was confirming that the cake would be covered with BC and not fondant.

yes, i am just saying it another way

kazita Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 5:32am
post #106 of 3199

AI asked my wilton instructor how does wilton fondant taste.. I did this as we were messing with fondant She told me to taste it I tried it, it was just ok so I asked why do people cover cakes in fondant she replied to make them look nice. I asked what happens at a wedding when the cake is covered in fondant , she told me most people at a wedding peel the fondant away and eat the cake. I asked if she ever made homemade fondant she said once and never again that it was to much work but that it did taste good. Now I've been a hobby baker for over ten years but nothing but buttercream . Here I took the classes to learn about gumpaste and fondant and I get a teacher who couldn't stand the stuff much less teach us...so if asked to do a fondant cake I say nope but I can make you a pretty buttercream one.

I recently offered to make a cake for the couple , I was going through the mother of the bride anyways the cake was gonna be my gift to the couple but before I could say that the mother said a woman from there church was making them a cake for a reasonable price. .ok enough said

BakingIrene Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 5:37am
post #107 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by kazita 

I asked my wilton instructor how does wilton fondant taste..
I did this as we were messing with fondant
She told me to taste it I tried it, it was just ok so I asked why do people cover cakes in fondant she replied to make them look nice. I asked what happens at a wedding when the cake is covered in fondant , she told me most people at a wedding peel the fondant away and eat the cake. I asked if she ever made homemade fondant she said once and never again that it was to much work but that it did taste good. Now I've been a hobby baker for over ten years but nothing but buttercream . Here I took the classes to learn about gumpaste and fondant and I get a teacher who couldn't stand the stuff much less teach us...

Wilton instructors are required to use and promote Wilton products and recipes in Wilton classes.  That's the whole point.

 

What they do in their own kitchens is something else.  Some of them probably use the Wilton homemade fondant recipe that was printed in all the hardback Wilton Celebrate books in the 1970's.  It tastes pretty good (because you choose the flavouring) and is easy to make. 

kazita Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 9:44am
post #108 of 3199

A

Original message sent by BakingIrene

Wilton instructors are required to use and promote Wilton products and recipes in Wilton classes.  That's the whole point.

What they do in their own kitchens is something else.  Some of them probably use the Wilton homemade fondant recipe that was printed in all the hardback Wilton Celebrate books in the 1970's.  It tastes pretty good (because you choose the flavouring) and is easy to make. 

This instructor hated dealing with fondant altogether and made it well known some of her students quit and went to hobby lobby to take the classes over there from a different instructor. She made it very well known that she hated fondant and hated teaching about it

costumeczar Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 11:55am
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Wilton fondant tastes like butt.

 

Making your own fondant takes about ten minutes and isn't difficult, and it's a heck of a lot cheaper.

BakingIrene Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 2:14pm
post #110 of 3199

Look at this first:

 

http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/arts-and-life/food/toronto-hotel-unveils-5-metre-high-gingerbread-replica-of-cn-tower-182984531.html

 

and then just think about asking this chef "can you bring one of those to my holiday party?"

Edited to add "we plan to serve it as the primary dessert"

 

I once built a throne room scene out of gumpaste and  "we want to break it up and serve it" was actually said to me.  I was speechless...

fontastic Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 2:49pm
post #111 of 3199

My favorite is "I have a budget of $150. Can you provide a three-tiered wedding cake for that price?" I may work out of home, but I am not going to undercut a storefront bakery or myself with that price. It's madness. This is why I hate these cake shows on these cable networks. Hardly anyone brings up price.

BakingIrene Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 2:54pm
post #112 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by fontastic 

My favorite is "I have a budget of $150. Can you provide a three-tiered wedding cake for that price?"

Well sure for mouse sized servings from a 4-6-8" tiered cake...

AZCouture Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 4:17pm
post #113 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by BakingIrene 

Well sure for mouse sized servings from a 4-6-8" tiered cake...

Lol...I love 4-6-8 cakes! But they sure the heck ain't a measly $150.00. I get paid for those! ;)

costumeczar Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 4:43pm
post #114 of 3199

Oh oh oh, I have one! This is usually said after the person has sat through an entire tasting appointment and has gone on about how much they love your cake etc etc etc. "I have a friend who does cakes, so I'm going to give them a chance to do it, then I'll give you a call."

 

Translation "I want the entire wedding planning experience so I'm going around doing tasting appointments, but I don't want to pay for anything, so I'm going to guilt my friends into doing things for free. I won't be calling you because I can force her into doing it, but thanks for the free cake and letting me waste your time, I had a lot of fun!"

fontastic Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 4:47pm
post #115 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by AZCouture 

Lol...I love 4-6-8 cakes! But they sure the heck ain't a measly $150.00. I get paid for those! ;)

Seriously. At $150, it would not be worth my high-ratio shortening.

AZCouture Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 4:47pm
post #116 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar 

Translation "I want the entire wedding planning experience so I'm going around doing tasting appointments, but I don't want to pay for anything, so I'm going to guilt my friends into doing things for free. I won't be calling you because I can force her into doing it, but thanks for the free cake and letting me waste your time, I had a lot of fun!"

icon_biggrin.gificon_cry.gif

hbquikcomjamesl Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 5:03pm
post #117 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by step0nmi 

yes, i am just saying it another way

 

Or it could be finished in the maple-syrup-and-powdered-sugar glaze I cobbled together for a dairy-allergic colleague's cupcake, when I made the Leland Awards cake. Or royal. Or whipped cream. Or cooked "fluffy white." Or any number of other materials that are neither BC nor fondant. Or (especially if it's a pound cake or an Angel Food) it could be dusted, or even naked.

jgifford Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 6:06pm
post #118 of 3199
Quote:
Originally Posted by vgcea 

Faints! icon_eek.gifJason has a sense of humor?!!! OMG! OMG!! OMG!!!

I've always suspected that if he ever cut loose . . . icon_biggrin.gif

kazita Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 6:31pm
post #119 of 3199

A

Original message sent by jgifford

I've always suspected that if he ever cut loose . . . :D

Let me know if this ever happens! Lol

sweetflowers Posted 12 Dec 2012 , 6:32pm
post #120 of 3199

My fav...after I quote a complex cake for $250.  'But baker xyz said they can do it for $60'.  I'd rather have yours, so can't you match their price?'

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