ALL OF THESE annoy me! Apart from the buttercream question(by far my #1 anger trigger), my least favorite questions are as follows:
1.) is that edible?
* dream answer: No, it's actually poison.
2.) is this gluten free? Or Can you make this cake gluten free without eggs? (when the customer orders gluten free items)
* no, we offer these options purposely to scam you into eating gluten!, no eggs, no sugar, no gluten, no fat, no calories? Of course that's possible, no extra charge? Absolutely!
3.) why is this cake so expensive? Or "the wedding industry is such a scam!"
* well sir, (mostly grooms I've heard this from) the insanely detailed cake your bride to be just brought me for 500 guests, will cost me MORE than your budget to bake and ice alone! Not to mention the labor... Sure, I could take a huge loss to make YOUR wedding perfect, but after you asked me to make the grooms cake into a 3-D exact replica of your pet lizard, in buttercream (deciding you HATE the flavor of fondant, only after I gave you a quote), called my icing too sweet, my cake "dry" and have practically accused me of stealing from you... Nah, full price for you, plus a "groomzilla" charge, just for fun.
4.) I read in a mag. That my cake will be cheaper if I order a dummy cake, and a bunch of sheet cakes.
*this is ALWAYS made as a true statement. When I explain that the dummies cost money, then the cakes, and the decoration fees will be the same, and that in the end it costs more... Well, I'm stealing again.