She Owes Me Money & Now She Wants A Cake?? Help...

Decorating By DH2008 Updated 30 Aug 2010 , 11:32pm by costumeczar

DH2008 Posted 30 Aug 2010 , 8:38pm
post #1 of 17

I'm gonna try to make this short. A friend got married about 3 years ago and I lent her 50.00 to get her hair done on her wedding day. Short notice, on the spot, we were at the salon when she asked to borrow it and promised to pay me back. At the time, I was living by myself working paycheck to paycheck paying everything on my own. Needless to say, I needed that 50 bucks. I had already given her a gift. Since then she's had 2 kids and ive gotten married. All I got was a phone call, which was fine since I knew she had her kids to take care of. I've never brought up the 50.00 cause it's just not worth it. She lives in another state now, so I knew I wouldn't lend anymore. Now she's in town & wants me to do a cake for her kids. She asked me what I would charge & made sure that she mentioned her babysitter made them one also, but gave it as a gift. Ok, Im already out of 50 bucks, gave you a wedding gift, childrens gifts when they were born, & now you want a free cake too? That's what's on the tip of my tongue. And I'm delivering this cake an hour away! What do I do?

16 replies
playingwithsugar Posted 30 Aug 2010 , 8:53pm
post #2 of 17

Tell her you'll gladly give the cake as a gift, too, but you would have to charge her $500 for delivery to her destination and back.

Or you can tell her that you already have a commitment for that day, so you would not be able to accept her order. Then commit yourself to catching up on your laundry.

Theresa icon_smile.gif

leily Posted 30 Aug 2010 , 8:54pm
post #3 of 17

Tell her you don't give cakes as gifts, your price is $...... Then ask what the kids would like for their birthday. The profit you make from the cake will pay for the gifts icon_smile.gif that is if she still gets it from you. otherwise you can pick up something small for them if she still invites you to the party and you want to bring a gift.

tiggy2 Posted 30 Aug 2010 , 8:55pm
post #4 of 17

She asked what you would charge so tell her. If she doesn't like it she can let the babysitter do it.

VentureSister Posted 30 Aug 2010 , 8:55pm
post #5 of 17

Don't do it. She is wanting you to do it for free as a gift.

tootie0809 Posted 30 Aug 2010 , 8:55pm
post #6 of 17

First off, let go of the $50 thing. If it was 3 years ago, it's not worth even bringing that up, IMO. You should have brought it up and gotten payment back within a reasonable time, but to bring it up now would seem petty and she probably can't even remember it. If you weren't comfortable lending it to her in the first place, you shouldn't have. If it was me, I would have lent her the money and asked at the time of lending it when she planned on paying it back and held her to it.

As far as the free cake, just say no. Or just give her the same price you'd charge anyone else. You clearly are not going to get any sort of gratitude from this woman if you do give it to her for free and you will most likley hold another grudge against her. If you don't want to give it for free, don't. You don't have to. If the babysitter gave it for free, then tell her to contact the babysitter again. Give her the full price and be glad that she won't take you up on it. If this woman is such an ungrateful taker, why are you friends with her? I don't tolerate friends like that in my life and would quickly close the door on that type of relationship. I don't do well with one-way-street type of people.

vagostino Posted 30 Aug 2010 , 8:57pm
post #7 of 17

You tell her that this is your business so you have the policy to not give cakes as gifts. If you quote her a price make sure you add those $50 she owes you to that!

That's what I do, I never do cakes for free for anyone! I do discounted prices for friends but that's it. I can babysit for free, give meals for free etc, but NO cakes! Otherwise I'll be baking every week for free.

JRAE33 Posted 30 Aug 2010 , 8:58pm
post #8 of 17

Is it possible that the $50 slipped her mind after all this time?! On your wedding day you have so much going on, everything is so hectic...and then all this time passed...she may have just forgotten?!

I would say IF you want to do a cake, quote her what you charge (don't forget the delivery fee) and let her decide. To gift a cake is your choice and you didn't offer. So, she asked for a cake it's her responsibilty to pay if wants the cake..and you may want to get they money upfront.

WykdGud Posted 30 Aug 2010 , 8:58pm
post #9 of 17

I'm guessing you've never borrowed something and forgotten to return it? God knows I have. In fact, I've actually remembered "oh shoot - I forgot to return _____ to XXX" and then 5 minutes later forget that I remembered.

With the stress of her wedding, I wouldn't be too sure that this was an intentional slight - so I would just let it go. My daddy always told me to NEVER loan money. He always gives whatever he can afford to GIVE, and if it gets paid back, then it's just a bonus. It's been so long, I would just forget about it, as the time to mention it would have been shortly thereafter. After this much time, memory fades and she might think she paid you back already.

As for the cake, it's a totally separate issue than the money... the two are not connected. If she's a friend to you, you have decide whether you consider her a good enough friend to make a cake for and how much you would charge her for the cake. Stop connected the two, and you won't be bitter about it. Either give with a generous heart, or don't give at all.

cs_confections Posted 30 Aug 2010 , 9:26pm
post #10 of 17

I was taught you should never ask for or expect a gift. A gift is given freely and without expectations from the giver.

From what you wrote, she is telling you to just gift the cake. And comparing you to their babysitter - umm, the sitter probably spends a lot more time with the kids than you do - and I have to wonder if the sitter truly gave it as a gift or was told it would be one. Or maybe your friend was shocked that the sitter didn't gift a gift in addition to making the cake so the sitter then said the cake was the gift.

Anyway, a Barbie, car, or other age appropriate small toy nicely wrapped would be my gift of choice (no free cake). Oh, an hour drive? Never mind, I wouldn't spend 2 hours driving for a child's birthday party that wasn't a CLOSE friend's or family member.

In the end, it's up to you to decide, though with your feelings on the past injustices, it seems it would be best that you be booked that weekend. God luck!

TexasSugar Posted 30 Aug 2010 , 9:28pm
post #11 of 17

I'm gonna have to agree with the let the $50 part go. If you haven't asked for it by now, there is no sense in bringing it up. Of course you wanted and needed that money back, and maybe it truly just slipped her mind. Either way, the time to fix that was three years ago.

As far as the cake, she asked you for a price. I wouldn't pay attention to the side comment about the babysitter doing a free cake, it could have been a hint that she wanted to free or it could have just been an innocent comment.

Treat the situation like you would any business transaction. Tell her your price. If she doesn't want to pay it, then so be it and don't stress over it.

stacey71 Posted 30 Aug 2010 , 9:34pm
post #12 of 17

I would give her your regular price. After everything you have given up to this point, you would feel resentful and taken advantage of if you didn't charge what you normally would.

Just my 2 copper.

DH2008 Posted 30 Aug 2010 , 9:36pm
post #13 of 17

Tootie0809, I honestly never think about the 50 bucks. I took it as a loss a long time ago. We used to be close when we were both single, but now she lives in another state and we only talk 2-3 times a year on the phone.

Wykdgud, don't care about the 50 bucks, I am a very giving person. But let ME offer it to you, don't go telling me what your babysitter did at home. I guess I feel like somebodys always trying to get something for nothin. Almost like she was trying to make me feel guilty. And yes I have forgotten things before. It's not about the 50 bucks, Youre right they're not connected. I guess this cake thing triggered me to remember it again.

DH2008 Posted 30 Aug 2010 , 9:47pm
post #14 of 17

Yeah, I don't care about the money, this is about the cake. Like I said i guess it just triggered me and wanted you ccrs to better understand her. Who flipping cares about what happened 3 years ago. Just was curious to know where you guys draw the line about free cakes. Basically I think immediate family free and friends discount. Sounds fair to me, unless I choose to give it as a gift..

grandmomof1 Posted 30 Aug 2010 , 9:59pm
post #15 of 17

Give her your regular cake price and delivery fee and she could take it or leave it. She did ask what you would charge.

DefyGravity Posted 30 Aug 2010 , 10:07pm
post #16 of 17

The $50, wedding gift, and gifts for her kids are completely irrelevant. She asked you your rate, so let her know. Or, if you don't want to even go there (which it sounds like you don't) just say you won't be available for her that weekend, but throw in a "make sure you give the kids hugs from me" or something like that.

costumeczar Posted 30 Aug 2010 , 11:32pm
post #17 of 17

It sounds like this isn't a friend, it's a freeloader. Forget about the $50, you'll never see that again. Either tell her no for the cake, or tell her your regular rate plus $40 an hour for delivery plus a charge for mileage.

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