I Don't Know What To Do!

Decorating By nikki72905 Updated 7 Jul 2008 , 12:07am by indydebi

nikki72905 Posted 30 Jun 2008 , 7:55pm
post #1 of 25

Hi everyone,

I know someone will have some good advice for me. I don't know what to do, I made a cake for church last week and EVERYONE loved it, I had to save a piece for myself just so I could try it and it was only a sliver. (It is the cake in my photos with the wafer cookies and yellow bow) So after our church social, one of the very nice ladies of the church came up to me and said, "Your cake is so good, I have to have the recipe."

I don't want to give the recipe out because I think I might want to sell cakes one day. However, I don't want to be rude to someone at the church. My initial words to her were, "I don't know" (in a very playful voice) She then said well just write the recipe down and give it to me next week. I said well, it is very easy and it was left at that. However, this is a recipe that I created myself down to the filling. (the icing was better cream, however everything else I mixed together to make a very lovely cake.) I don't mind sharing the recipe on this site to other bakers, however I don't want just anyone having the recipe. But again I don't want to be rude.

Thanks for all your help
Nikki
link to the wafer cake: http://www.cakecentral.com/modules.php?name=gallery&file=displayimage&pid=1238120

24 replies
disneynutbsv Posted 30 Jun 2008 , 8:05pm
post #2 of 25

I would just explain that you plan on going into business some day and as much as you would love to share your recipe, that you would like to keep it secret for your future business, but say "Thank you so much for the compliment of wanting the recipe, it was very kind of you." And leave it at that....

funcakes Posted 30 Jun 2008 , 8:29pm
post #3 of 25

Just because someone demands something does not entitle them to it. There is nothing wrong with telling others that this is an original recipe and you do not give it out and maybe if you want to be nice you can tell her where to find a similar recipe that already is published or on the internet that would make a good tasting cake but not your cake. (if you don't want to be nice tell her to check out Sandra Lee and stuff marshmallows into a store bought angel food cake-he he)
Think of this as a business even if you do not officially have a business yet. The drug companies don't give away their latest drug formulas to their competitors just because they ask politely
People who do not create things themselves do not realize that original ideas are worth MONEY and should not be given away free. I freak when I see otherwise honest people taking books and photocopying pages instead of buying the books. Copyright laws are there for a reason.
Thanks for letting me vent!
I didn't want to make it sound like this lady was trying to be mean. I think we all ask for recipes and are respectful if we are told "It's a family recipe that I don't give out" she probably will be understanding too.

TexasSugar Posted 30 Jun 2008 , 9:04pm
post #4 of 25

I believe in honesty in cases like this. Just tell her, "I wish I could share the recipe with you, but this is an orginal recipe that I came up with and spent time tweeking. I'm hoping to start my own cake business in the future and feel it is better to keep my orginal recipes to myself. I hope you understand."

In most cases she will, and if she doesn't, then just say "I'm sorry" and walk off. She'll get over it.

SplendidMissM Posted 30 Jun 2008 , 9:29pm
post #5 of 25

What if she said, Money is so good, give me $20? Would you do it?

rhondab Posted 30 Jun 2008 , 11:36pm
post #6 of 25

I agree that you have every right to keep your recipe private. Another option is to detail the recipe, including every effort required. Most people think that by asking they're offering a complement to the baker, but will rarely actually take the effort to bake it themselves if the recipe looks at all complicated. Maybe that would give the asker more apprecaition for the effort you put into the cake, and the price you'll ask when you do decide to bake for cash.

nikki72905 Posted 1 Jul 2008 , 4:22am
post #7 of 25

Thank you for your reply's. I knew I would get good advice!

geri4292adams Posted 1 Jul 2008 , 4:39am
post #8 of 25

Just give her a different but similar recipe and everyone's happy.

Jennifer9800 Posted 1 Jul 2008 , 4:41am
post #9 of 25

who says it has to be the exact recipe? meaning if you made a cake that was similar to a yellow cake just give her that recipe. I know that sounds sneaky or whatever but i have been screwed over in my town over the same thing so that's why. I had started out using the wilton recipe and everyone luved my buttercream. but then other people now are starting to make cakes and i switched my icing recipe. Now the same ones are asking me what i do different and i will not tell them. I am all about helping someone on here cause u aren't my competition. We are all from so many parts of the country that it wouldn't matter if i gave someone from arizona my secrets/hints but i'm not giving someone that wants to start doing cakes in my own town the tips i've painstakingly learned along the way from my mistakes. SORRY! If you feel you need to give her something give her something similar but not exact. Or, just like what someone mentioned earlier just because they asked doesn't mean they get it. Tell her it's a secret recipe that you made yourself and you want to keep it that way. if she gets offended...sorry. icon_smile.gif haha.

SharonK1973 Posted 1 Jul 2008 , 4:42am
post #10 of 25

I get asked that same question often too, when I take cakes to church. I handle it by saying "To be honest with you, I just put in a little bit of this and a little bit of that. I don't really measure anything so it would be very difficult for me to put it on paper." I have told so many people that that they don't even bother to ask anymore. Instead, they just enjoy my cakes when I bring them.

gateaux Posted 1 Jul 2008 , 5:02am
post #11 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by SharonK1973

I get asked that same question often too, when I take cakes to church. I handle it by saying "To be honest with you, I just put in a little bit of this and a little bit of that. I don't really measure anything so it would be very difficult for me to put it on paper." I have told so many people that that they don't even bother to ask anymore. Instead, they just enjoy my cakes when I bring them.




I like that reply. ... i used to say that too, but then again I did it. My DH will often say, can you make that recipe from that things you made... remember... and I say.... did you take notes? ... Nope... then we got a try it again! It wont be the same. I try to take notes now and keep the good ones!

Good Luck.

nikki72905 Posted 1 Jul 2008 , 5:29am
post #12 of 25

I was actually thinking of telling her to take a yellow box mix and add a teaspoon of nutmeg and a teaspoon of cinnamin.

It will def. not be my recipe because my extension has many other items in it, but it would give her something.

The only thing that I don't know about is, if I do this and then later sell the item that she will start to tell people. Well it's only a teaspoon of cin. and nutmeg added to a yellow box mix.

I am going to try to "forget" and see what happens Sunday at church. If she doesn't ask again, I will just drop it. If she asks I am going to say I throw a little of this and that in, but I know that if you take a yellow box mix and add a teaspoon of cinn and nutmeg it will be roughly what you get.

She mainly liked it because it was so moist.

cakesbycathy Posted 1 Jul 2008 , 9:47am
post #13 of 25

"I would love to give it to you, but I swore to my grandmother/mother/aunt that I would never give out family recipes."

PattyT Posted 1 Jul 2008 , 10:45am
post #14 of 25

Most of my recipes begin with cookbooks (Cake Bible, Martha, Toba), or from internet sources (CC, Epicurious, All Recipes). Then I tweak them according to my tastes and ideas.

If anyone asks, I just say, "oh it's right out of this book, or it's on the internet...google blah, blah, blah. I point them what book or internet source I STARTED with and leave it at that.

Most won't make the effort to search for it. If they do, it won't be quite the same any way.

Mike1394 Posted 1 Jul 2008 , 11:09am
post #15 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by nikki72905

I was actually thinking of telling her to take a yellow box mix and add a teaspoon of nutmeg and a teaspoon of cinnamin.

It will def. not be my recipe because my extension has many other items in it, but it would give her something.

The only thing that I don't know about is, if I do this and then later sell the item that she will start to tell people. Well it's only a teaspoon of cin. and nutmeg added to a yellow box mix.

I am going to try to "forget" and see what happens Sunday at church. If she doesn't ask again, I will just drop it. If she asks I am going to say I throw a little of this and that in, but I know that if you take a yellow box mix and add a teaspoon of cinn and nutmeg it will be roughly what you get.

She mainly liked it because it was so moist.




Sorry to disagree. Why give her the wrong one? If you want to keep it a secret just tell her.

Mike

wgoat5 Posted 1 Jul 2008 , 2:03pm
post #16 of 25

Honesty..

"Thank you so much for loving my cake... but I really can't give you the recipe it's a trade secret icon_wink.gif "

TexasSugar Posted 1 Jul 2008 , 3:32pm
post #17 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike1394

Sorry to disagree. Why give her the wrong one? If you want to keep it a secret just tell her.

Mike




I am so with you on this one. Personally, if I asked someone for a recipe and they didn't want to give it to me, I would rather them just be honest with me instead of misleading me or giving me the wrong recipe.

How would you feel if you asked someone for a recipe of something you really enjoyed? Got it went home to make it and it was obviously something different?

Cakepro Posted 1 Jul 2008 , 3:49pm
post #18 of 25

Haha, you could tell her that your secret is anise extract. LOL That reminded me of that episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where Marie (Raymond's meddling mother) teaches Debra (Raymond's wife, and a horrible cook) to make Maria's incredible meatballs...but put wrong labels on the spices so Debra's meatballs tasted like crap. LOL

I agree with the others - just tell her that your recipes are proprietary. That'll keep 'em ordering from you and your recipe won't become public knowledge. icon_smile.gif

nikki72905 Posted 2 Jul 2008 , 4:54am
post #19 of 25

Thanks all!

After thinking about it, I agree that telling her the "wrong recipe" would not be a very nice thing to do. Eventhough it wouldn't really be the wrong recipe just a few short ingredients (but this would still be wrong!)

If she asks again, I am taking the advice of pretty much everyone on here and saying that I would like to keep my recipe to myself because I might want to go into business some day.

Hopefully she will not be upset by this, because I do not want to offend her.

Thank you again all!

twooten173 Posted 2 Jul 2008 , 5:15am
post #20 of 25

Also you might want to offer to make it for her for a reasonable fee when she wants one.

PieceofCakeAZ Posted 2 Jul 2008 , 6:29am
post #21 of 25

Awww man... I can't believe that we're abandoning the "lie to the woman from chuch" option. icon_wink.gificon_biggrin.gif

CakeWhizz Posted 2 Jul 2008 , 7:09am
post #22 of 25

Good decision Nikki. Please stand by it and refuse to be 'guilted'. Heinz, KFC, McDonalds etc keep their recipes a secret and even get some employees to sign non disclosure agreements in order to preserve its confidentiality. I can't wait to hear her response please............

1234me Posted 2 Jul 2008 , 12:07pm
post #23 of 25

I didn't read all the other responses but when I am put in a situation like that , I lie a little bit. I either tell them I don't have a recipe written down and it is all in my head or I say I got it off of allrecipes.com or somewhere like that.

nikki72905 Posted 6 Jul 2008 , 11:14pm
post #24 of 25

Hi everyone!
After church today the lady never came up to me to get the recipe. So I didn't have to tell her anything. If, in the future she does, I will tell her exactly what I said before, That I would like to keep my recipe's a secrete because someday I might want to go into business.

And if you would like one, just ask.

Thank you for making me feel so good, that you wanted the recipe.

indydebi Posted 7 Jul 2008 , 12:07am
post #25 of 25

I'm kinda in this one a little late, but this is a great example of how women are their own worst downfall .... as little girls we are taught to be "nice" and not to hurt people's feeeeeeeeelings and not to be "rude" .... to the point that we beat ourselves up just to make everyone ELSE happy, and to make sure that everyone ELSE likes us and thinks we're a nice person. In the meantime, our stress level is thru the ceiling and we die of a stroke caused by high blood pressure that resulting from us trying to make everyone ELSE feel ok!!

It is absolutely not rude to tell someone, "Sorry, that's one recipe that goes to my grave!" I'm in business and I find it rude when people ask for my recipes! Some I"m willing to share ("It's on the Quaker Oats box! Knock yourself out!") but others "go to my grave." I mean come on, people! I make a living with these recipes and you honestly think it's not "rude" to ask me to just hand that over to you?????

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