Grrrr...they Think I Have Nothing Better To Do!

Decorating By molly_36 Updated 31 Jul 2011 , 12:42am by madcobbler

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molly_36 Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 5:18pm
post #1 of 17

I'm a hobby baker who hails from a large family so I get asked quite often to bake for birthdays and other family celebrations. I love making beautiful cakes for them but I'm getting sick and tired of last minute requests (which I have yet to decline) but even more, I hate that they tell me one time to pick it up then show up hrs later! It seems like it's happening more and more.

I was asked Monday to make a graduation cake for today. Stacked cake for 40 ppl. OK...My niece tells me she'd be here at 10:30am. It's now 12:15pm and I'm still sitting here, missing my son's soccer game!!! icon_evil.gif I'm tempted to leave but what am I going to do with all this cake?


Any suggestions on how to get this situation under control?

16 replies
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mommie917 Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 5:31pm
post #2 of 17

If I was dealing with this situation I would leave. You definitely have better things to do. They can pick it up when its convenient for you since they "missed their appointment".

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SBaker Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 5:36pm
post #3 of 17

At some point, you will realize that your time is more valuable than someone's who thinks their time is more important than yours.

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ShopGrl1128 Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 5:38pm
post #4 of 17

My biggest pet peeve is people who has no respect for my suggestion? unassemble the cake, cut it the into pieces, wrap it in saran wrap, then zip lock bag it and freeze it. Serve a piece to YOUR own family for dessert every night.
If she doesn't care about you missing time with your son, why would you care about her cake?

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olleharr Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 5:41pm
post #5 of 17

If it were my niece I'd be on the phone chewing her butt for being late. Then I'd set a different time.....around YOUR schedule this time.

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Rosanaymi Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 5:52pm
post #6 of 17

For the future if I were you I would deliver the cake instead of having them pick it up, just to avoid this from happening, considering this is not the first time this has happen to you... maybe your time is more valuable than the gas money you would lose my delivering it??

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mburkett Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 6:09pm
post #7 of 17

Next give them a time and tell that that's your window, period. Let them know you've got other things going on and can't wait around for them.

Or....just stop doing it cakes and let them know why. I'm known in my family for making truffles (lots of them). After 15 years, this past Christmas I got so tired of their expectations and ungratefulness that I just didn't do them. Oh man were people upset (family, friends, hubbies co-workers). They sure did change their tune. People need to start respecting what others do for them.

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myslady Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 6:14pm
post #8 of 17

You need to speak up and tell them what you just told us. You love making cakes for them but if they dont give you at least however much notice you need then you will not be able to do the cake for them. Also you pick the pick up time and let them know that if they arent there by that time there is a possibility you wont be either. Also if your niece hasnt gotten there yet call her and tell her she needs to get there immediately because you have an appointment to get to or let her know that you have an appt to go to and she can pick her cake up at a designated time you set.

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Texas_Rose Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 6:31pm
post #9 of 17

You've got to learn to stand up for yourself. When you start acknowledging that your time is valuable, by wanting enough notice for cakes and saying no when you're too busy, your relatives will start respecting you more.

Right now, go get in your car and go see what's left of your son's soccer game. Let your selfish niece pick up at your convenience, not hers. She can stop by for the cake when you're back...time with your kids is precious and we don't get do-overs on their childhood, put him ahead of the selfish relatives and go watch his game icon_biggrin.gif

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molly_36 Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 6:58pm
post #10 of 17

Texas_Rose I did just that and I refused to answer my phone until his game was over. Guess who was in my driveway when I got home? icon_lol.gif She says "I didn't know you had to be somewhere". Really? Since when do I have to give you my itinerary?
Thanks for all the great advice...and for letting me vent. Time for me to get a backbone.

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ycknits Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 7:08pm
post #11 of 17

I'm a hobby baker - friends, family and charity baking only. When someone asks for a special cake, I make it clear that I will do it if my schedule allows. My schedule includes lots of things besides baking - travel, grandkid days, time with friends, time for me. They all have a priority over baking cakes for teachers, fund raisers, friends of friends, etc that are important to my kids and to my friends. I bake for the joy of it. That won't happen if I'm feeling resentful - and the only one who can control that is me.

So when they ask, they know that sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. If I have to say no, I tell them to please ask me again because I'd love to do it for them if I can. If they're picking it up, I give them a window of time that's convenient for me. If they miss my window, that's their problem. I have a list of friends who just love to get extra cake when I have it. If the requester does me wrong, they better not ask again!

You have a special talent and skill that is both unusual and valuable. Those who receive and serve your cakes know that. When you value your time and set limits, they will show more respect for your time, too icon_smile.gif

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Curtsmin24 Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 7:15pm
post #12 of 17

She says "I didn't know you had to be somewhere".

I would have gotten smacked for making a comment like this to my aunt. Obviously you have a family and that requires leaving the house sometimes.

Glad you went to the game. Kids grow too fast, and before you know it they are off to college and all of a sudden independant individuals. I wish they would stay babies. icon_cry.gif

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dldbrou Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 8:33pm
post #13 of 17

As many have stated, your family comes first.

When someone is getting a free cake and then ignores the scheduled pick up time, the next thing I would do is to donate the cake to a nursing home. They always appreciate cake.

Let them know that you will do cakes on your terms, not theirs.

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bobwonderbuns Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 8:59pm
post #14 of 17

Okay now I'm confused. Molly, is this your FAMILY who is treating you like this? Because that's what it sounded like to me. If so, they should have no problem when you tell them "look, I'm doing this as a favor to you, but I am not at your beck and call. If I can accommodate you, I would be happy to, but I will not put my life on hold for your FREE cake." If it's NOT your family doing this, then you are off to a terrible start in this business and you better grow a backbone or you will NEVER get a moment's peace. Besides, you'll learn very quickly -- people who get their cakes for free are VERY demanding customers!! tapedshut.gif

I'll share a story with you -- once upon a time I had a widowed grandma who was raising her baby granddaughter. I understood the situation and gave them good discounts on their cakes. They were customers for years. UNTIL... the cake she ordered for a Thursday so she could take it to a party on Saturday. Whatever. So Thursday comes around (I always delivered her cakes and got paid for it so I had no problem delivering for her) and I call -- no answer. Friday -- no answer. Saturday (the day of the so-called party) -- no answer. Sunday -- no answer. What the heck??? Late TUESDAY night I FINALLY get ahold of her -- where have you been??? Why have you not answered or called me back??? Turns out granny went out of town and forgot her phone, blah blah blah... and then tells me (get this) "I'll get the cake NEXT Thursday." icon_eek.gif Say what???? So at the time I had no extra space to store the cake, so I recruited a friend to let me use her frig and I told granny "We had agreed on a date and time for delivery for this cake. I will keep the cake and deliver it TWO WEEKS after the agreed time, but you are getting the ORIGINAL cake (I'm NOT rebaking it!) and the cost is now DOUBLED for being a PITA and aggravating the heck out of me. Guess what -- she agreed, paid it, got her two week old cake and I've been too busy to take her orders again. icon_twisted.gif

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cakesbycathy Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 10:55pm
post #15 of 17
Originally Posted by molly_36

Thanks for all the great advice...and for letting me vent. Time for me to get a backbone.

Honestly, this is it right here thumbs_up.gif
People will treat them however you let them. If you want them to respect you then you need to respect yourself.

If I were you I'd be sending out a family wide email that there will be NO more cakes for at least how ever many months you think it will take them to learn a lesson. And then tell them why. Because it is a lesson that they need to learn.

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susies1955 Posted 30 Jul 2011 , 11:52pm
post #16 of 17

When I first started decorating cakes the relatives came out of the woodwork and I made two or three cakes and then said NOPE no more. I do this for fun when I want PERIOD. I haven't gotten a cake request since. icon_smile.gif

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madcobbler Posted 31 Jul 2011 , 12:42am
post #17 of 17

I charge family, friends, and coworkers full price who solicit me for a cake. If I'm too busy or it's too short of notice the answer is no. I only do cakes for free If I offer to make one for something such as a potluck. When dealing with people I follow the 3F's of being firm, fair, and friendly.

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