just tell the truth. teaching takes time and patience of which I have neither. I bake cakes when I can work it in to my schedule and usually under the gun as for watching, even my family stays away from me when I am creating. If I find someone that has the time and patience to work with you I will pass your number on to them and they will contact you. Recipies, helpful hints that I can manage but teach, sorry
I swear I have said these exact same words to people to get them off of my back.
If someone truly only wants to "just watch", then direct them to YouTube. They can watch away for DAYS with everything that is on there. However, "watching" is also a lot of questions and getting in your way. That is teaching, so you charge.
The question I hate most when I'm training someone is you get through telling them something specific, something they really need to be paying attention to and they say to you, "...how do you know that?" It is worse than fingernails on the chalk board. I know this because I do it everyday, because I've done it for 40 years, because I have several college and culinary degrees.
Also, having a "watcher" slows you down by half or more.......
Tami 
If someone truly only wants to "just watch", then direct them to YouTube. They can watch away for DAYS with everything that is on there. However, "watching" is also a lot of questions and getting in your way. That is teaching, so you charge.
The question I hate most when I'm training someone is you get through telling them something specific, something they really need to be paying attention to and they say to you, "...how do you know that?" It is worse than fingernails on the chalk board. I know this because I do it everyday, because I've done it for 40 years, because I have several college and culinary degrees.
Also, having a "watcher" slows you down by half or more.......
Tami
That's exactly what I was going to say! Lessons in person are $50 an hour, but youtube is free. Let her choose.
I would tell her that there is a cost for private lessons and that they will be at her house. That way, she is cleaning up her mess. Let her make her own cake and decorate her own cake with your directions, but with her tools and at her house.
I would give her some links to You Tube and some of the DVD's she can buy. If she is truly interested, she would gladly watch them.
If your friends, friend is already planning on opening a bakery in another state why would she need to watch you? She should already know the basics to know this a field that she likes. So I would charge her. Tell her that when she opens her business she can deduct it as a business expense. 
But dont let her use your time for free. And if she still wants free tell her to watch youtube or go buy her own books and videos.
I admire people who can teach baking and decorating. I'm not one of them. I don't allow anyone in the kitchen when I work. The biggest problem I have is setting up wedding cakes at venues. Invariably, other vendors and their help gather around to "see how it's done" . I get the shakes! I break into a cold sweat!
As for someone wanting to "watch" in order to get ready to open a shop, it seems to me that you had better have done a whole lot of baking on your own before even thinking of opening a shop. The idea that you can prepare to open a shop by one or two "viewings" is mind boggling.
There has been one positive to having an audience: They learn that my cakes are not done in an hour. I donated a cake as a gift. Lady wanted to come by and watch and then leave with the cake. She thought that the cake could be done in an hour. Two hours later, she was stunned that I was still not done. By 3:00 that afternoon, I was still working on it. She was upset that "her whole day was blown" waiting on this cake. I did not ask her to stay and I suggested several times that I would call her when the cake was done and she was free to do other things. In other words - please leave NOW! Later she admitted that there was so much more to making a cake than she thought. She apologized for her lack of knowledge and even offered to pay for my time.
Bottom line, most do not know what we do and how time consuming it really is. I am not Willy Wonka nor do I have a factory. Opening a shop with little or no experience will definitely be a "trial by fire" - literally!
If someone truly only wants to "just watch", then direct them to YouTube. They can watch away for DAYS with everything that is on there. However, "watching" is also a lot of questions and getting in your way. That is teaching, so you charge.
.
Also, having a "watcher" slows you down by half or more.......
Tami
Yep, YouTube it is for her. I forgot about the countless hours I spend researching something online (including reading through cc forums 
) well into the night so I can perfect my craft.
Thank you for all your ideas - I will suggest sorting through the many wonderful YouTube videos or offer to TEACH at her house for a fee. This friend has never bought any cakes from me because she thought I was "pricey" , so if I price it right, I have a feeling she will look for another sucker to bully
Really??!! This crazy woman has never even purchased a cake from you because she thinks that you are too "pricey?" AND has the NERVE to ask you to help out one of her friends?? I have absolutely heard it all now!!
Personally, I think that you should just tell her how offended you are at her behavior. That you can't believe that SHE doesn't think that your cakes are worth what you charge for them. So WHY does she think that you are worthy to teach her friend?? Maybe you should suggest having her friend learn from whatever bakery SHE DOES feel is worthy of her money...
There has been one positive to having an audience: They learn that my cakes are not done in an hour.
I'll piggyback on this statement and be one of the lone wolves and share the other side of the coin.
Friend A worked for me. She had a friend B who was taking classes to be an event coordinator, which involved learning catering. Friend A asked if I would be willing to talk to B. I did one better than that. I invited B to sit in on a consultation. I explained to bride why she was there. Told B to take notice of things I said and what I asked ... make notes if she didn't understand WHY I was asking a few things.
After the consultation, she and I had about an hour conversation to discuss they WHY'S of dealing with taking a food order. I then invited her to work for me at a 3-day catering (my fraternity guys). She not only got hands-on experience, but she got paid for her time AND we had wonderful conversations about things she observed but hadn't learned in a classroom such as how to plan production and how to plan foods that fit in the day's schedule.
It was valuable to her because as I told her, "Now when you are making promises to the bride on what the caterer can do, you KNOW what you're asking the caterer to do!" It was the equivalent of her finding out just how much time all of this food/cake stuff takes.
But my lifelong dream has been to be a teacher and this allowed me to practice my passion .... actually two of them at the same time!
I guess what I'm saying is that each circumstance is different and one day you may say yes to the right circumstance. I've said no plenty of times to folks who wanted to offer free help in exchange for them learning. I didn't have time to help them hone their hobby, but I always have time to help, in any small way I can, someone sharpen their career skills.
I have no problem with a friend who comes over for a visit, and I just happen to be decorating a cake and she watches me while we talk. I DO have a problem with people I do not know who want to come over and work for me for no pay or just want to sit and watch me and learn all they can at my expense. What? You want me to teach you all I have learned over 35 years for nothing? All my recipes, my baking, decorating and icing methods that took me years and years to perfect by trial and error on my part; but you want the short cut method so you don't have to go through all that I went through and the mistakes I made to learn how to do it perfectly? You want all of this for FREE? Then you want to take all that you learn from me for FREE and start up your own cake business? Do these people who ask to "watch" you really understand what they are asking. Gosh, I hope they don't think I am stupid enough to say yes? Some people sure do have a lot of nerve! I usually end up telling them that I do not teach cake decorating classes. That usually ends the conversation.
I guess what I'm saying is that each circumstance is different and one day you may say yes to the right circumstance. I've said no plenty of times to folks who wanted to offer free help in exchange for them learning. I didn't have time to help them hone their hobby, but I always have time to help, in any small way I can, someone sharpen their career skills.[/quote]I agree. If a girl comes up to me after finding out that i do cakes and says "i want you to teach me". I try to say something like 'well, go take the Wilton classes for your basics and when you are finished then call me". Most of the time they lose interest and the conversation stops right there. the serious ones ask me where to take the classes, who the best teachers are what i like about them..etc. those are the people i dont mind helping. i know that they are willing to put money and hard work. these people i gladly go out of my way to help for free.
My family doesn't just hover constantly when I'm baking/decorating...they usually choose those moments to want to do something in my space...do the dishes, clean the fridge, make a snack etc. It drives me absolutely bananas. They can be on the opposite end of the house all day and the second I step toe into the kitchen...they follow like a shadow. That bothers me enough and it's my own family. I wouldn't let a stranger do it ever. LOL
hahahahahahahahahaha! This is so true..only it's my husband...my daughter is married and on her own. I wait until he heads to bed. It's so nice and quiet then!
Maybe you should suggest having her friend learn from whatever bakery SHE DOES feel is worthy of her money...
Costco.
Indidebi, I guess I'm not there yet. I can handle my kids being around while I decorate, and they know enough not to talk to me when I'm "in the zone". But a stranger, no way....at least not right now.
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