Feel Sad, Don't Know If They Liked The Cake.

Decorating By cathyscakes Updated 16 Jun 2011 , 11:18pm by yummy_in_my_tummy

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cathyscakes Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 5:04pm
post #1 of 24

I know its silly but can't help but feel sad and used. I made a 4 tiered wedding cake and 2 tiered grooms cake, over 200 servings. I didn't ask for money, they offered to pay for ingredients, (please don't lecture me, I know I'm not suppose to accept money) Anyway, I have yet to receive a thank-you, let alone money. I even went back and cut the cake. Everyone was busy, didn't really acknowledge me. I worked so hard on this cake, so much time and money went into this thing. I am realizing how important the cake is when they are ordering it, and now that its all over, doesn't seem important at all. The cake looked o.k. to me, it sliced nice and I had a taste, it was really good. I just find it odd that they haven't called and thanked me, we are on fb, and see them on there, not a word to me. If someone did such a favor for me I know how I would react. Now I am second guessing myself wondering if the cake was o.k. That they didn't like it. I made gumpaste stargazer lilies and they turned out good. Oh well, live and learn, its my fault, i'm too nice, can't say no. I love the feeling of helping someone out, but now just feel used. Maybe they just haven't got around to me, I know I definitely wouldn't wait this long if someone did something nice fore me. Even if they didn't like the cake, but it looked just like the picture she gave me. The picture had real stargazers on it, mine were gumpaste. I'm not a professional, if you want to see the cake it is the stargazer lily cake and fishing themed cake in my photos. Thanks for letting me vent, so glad I have cc friends. Guess just need to get it off my chest. I'm definetly thinking of quitting, its getting too expensive, too many people wanting free cakes. lol.

23 replies
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Texas_Rose Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 5:12pm
post #2 of 24

When was the wedding? Are they on their honeymoon right now? If so, that would be the reason they haven't contacted you yet.

The other reason might be that they feel like they owe you money for ingredients and they're broke after the wedding, so they're trying not to mention the cake at all.

Why don't you post the pic on facebook and tag them in it? Say something like, "So glad I was able to sweeten so and so's wedding day with this cake," or something like that.

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CalhounsCakery Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 5:17pm
post #3 of 24

Your cakes look great! I'm sure they loved them! Hopefully they just haven't had time to contact you yet. Maybe you'll get a thank you card in the mail!

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Elcee Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 5:18pm
post #4 of 24

It's a beautiful cake and your lilies are lovely. When was the wedding? You just loaded the pictures yesterday so I'm guessing that it was just this past weekend? If that's the case, I'd give them time, it's only been a few days icon_biggrin.gif. Being on facebook isn't the same as real contact.

I did a wedding cake (yes, free; it was my wedding gift) for a coworker a couple of years ago and it took 6 months to get a thank you note.

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fedra Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 5:23pm
post #5 of 24

What, not a professional? That cake was awesome! You deserve more than a thank you. Hopefully they are on their honeymoon and if they are broke, they can atleast offer you something in exchange: house/pet sitting, yard work, etc. I really hope you don't quit, you're cakes look great and it would just be a loss to the caking community. icon_smile.gif

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GarciaGM Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 5:28pm
post #6 of 24

Cathy, both of those cakes are seriously beautiful!! The lilies are especially gorgeous. I think sometimes we put so much love into these treasures that we just assume people know how much work and talent they require, so we're shocked when they don't say anything! I'm like the other posters, hopefully the bride and groom are just preoccupied with other details and will eventually acknowledge the huge favor you did them.

I've agreed to do my first wedding cake in August as a wedding gift to my little sister and her fiance. Frankly, I don't care what they tell me (they know nothing about cakes), I'll just be relieved if I get it right!

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pbhobby Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 5:35pm
post #7 of 24

Your cake is very beautiful!!! You did a great job! Most people have no idea the time and money invovled in making a cake that like. Or how much money you save them. You should be proud of your work and feel good about doing something kind for someone else. Know that even if the bride and groom didn't say thank you your kind deed will never go unnoticed.

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cakification Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 5:44pm
post #8 of 24

First, your cakes are lovely.. But try to think about it like this. If you did this as a wedding gift for the couple, I'm sure everyone else who gave the couple a gift haven't gotten a thank you yet, right? yes you probably put way more time and effort into your gift, and it happen to be a gift that was on display, but still, it was a gift.. So my bet is that you will receive a thank-you card like everyone else.

Were you at the wedding? Maybe they thanked you during their speeches?

As for the payment, since you didn't really set an expectation as to when they needed to pay you by, they cant really be faulted for not paying you in time, right?

Just some food for thought.

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sweeteypie1118 Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 5:48pm
post #9 of 24

I'm sorry you feel hurt over this. You did a beautiful job on the cakes!! Don't think for a second that they didn't like them. They are truly lucky that you put so much effort and love into these cakes. I hope they show you the gratitude you deserve when they come back down to earth.

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missv1973 Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 6:03pm
post #10 of 24

I agree with Texas_Rose. They probably don't have the money, so they don't want to mention it to you right now. They are probably waiting until the have the money. There is no way they could not like those cakes. You did a wonderful job!

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debbief Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 6:11pm
post #11 of 24

I agree with everyone. Both cakes are very well done. There is absolutely no reason for the couple not to love them.

I hope they are just on their honeymoon and will give you a great big thank you when they return and have settled in.

Did they say anything at all during the reception? I would have thought you would get lots of love and gratitude there for sure! Who cares if they were busy. How can they not notice what a huge favor you did for them?

I'm making my nephew's groom's cake in July and my nieces wedding cake in Oct. First time for both and I'm scared to death. But I know I'll be crushed if I don't get some kind of acknowledgement. Unless I fail, which is a horrible thought.

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Otulissa Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 6:21pm
post #12 of 24

Some people are just horribly selfish and rude. Sorry this happened to you.

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AnotherCaker Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 6:25pm
post #13 of 24

I'd be cheesed. What a lovely gift. Those people should be ashamed of themselves for not tripping over themselves to pay you before you even made it. Barring some sort of really good explanation that puts them in the clear for not being prompt with their payment, I'd say you won't ever see that money, and especially not a thank you, because they would actually have to contact you for that. Some people. icon_sad.gif

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angelcakes5 Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 6:36pm
post #14 of 24

You did a great job, those flowers are beautiful! I feel the same way when I don't hear from somebody about their cake. I automatically think they didnt like it. Then I run into the somewhere and they rave about how wonderful it was. If they only knew I am on pin and needles until I hear something icon_wink.gif

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M0N1Ca23 Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 6:46pm
post #15 of 24

Don't feel bad the cake was beautiful. But next time don't do it for free

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chrisviz Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 7:22pm
post #16 of 24

Dont feel too bad.. the cake is pretty. I think this is partly a problem with society today. I did a big cake for my husbands nephew last summer (biggest to date and was a gift of course). I was thanked at the venue by both the bride and groom who said they thought it was awesome. I was raised that if someone does something for you/gifts to you, you send a thank you card. Received a thank you card from the brides mother and grandmother about three weeks later. Almost one year later and still no "official" thank you from bride and groom... What are you gonna do?? Just the way things are and you have to roll with it.

Try not to let it get you down.. I am sure they loved it and appreciated it, they just dont have the manners some of us were raised with. icon_smile.gif

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EphieP Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 7:48pm
post #17 of 24

I feel your pain. I had a similar thing happen to me. My best friend wanted me to make her a cake for her 40th birthday party as well as serveral other goodies. I spent about $100 on supplies and 2 days baking and arranging things and when i got to her party with my goods all she said was "put it in the fridge". About 4 hours into her party I mentioned the cake since no one else had brought it up, only to have her "not in the mood" to eat cake. I never got a thankyou or even an acknowledgement. What also burns my buns is that no one else at the party ate anything i made because the birthday girl didn't eat anything and apparently they weren't hungry. I finally cut the cake myself and had a piece then went home disgusted that all my hard work was going to waste.

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2xMiMi Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 8:10pm
post #18 of 24

Both cakes are beautiful. Unfortunately some brides/grooms don't say thank you as quickly as they should.

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sabre Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 8:10pm
post #19 of 24

Your cakes are far too beautiful and professional in appearance to give away. Next time someone approaches you about making a cake, just say "Show Me the Money."

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BlakesCakes Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 8:14pm
post #20 of 24

I'm sorry, but the simplest way to resolve this is to just ASK.

Ask if they liked the cake and ask for the $ for the ingredients that was originally offered.

It's so easy to call or send an e-mail. I do it for every cake I make if I don't get spontaneous feedback from the recipient. I tell them that feedback--good, bad, or ugly--greatly helps me to improve.

I feel that the feedback is the least I can ask for giving someone a cake (I make all of my cakes for donations to charities or directly for charities).

If they don't like being asked for feedback, tough. They don't have to request another cake and I can get on with my life doing things for people who appreciate it.

They don't know that you're wondering & feeling badly. They're enjoying being newlyweds.


Just DO IT.


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Chiara Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 8:28pm
post #21 of 24

Don't think one more minute about it. The cake is great. The lilies are fantastic. I can just tell you that people don't realize what goes into a cake. They have no clue at all. My friends don't ever ask for cakes because they have seen me work hours on them. So do not take this personally. They are just inconsiderate like most people these days.
My son tells me that cards are no longer something you give etc. I say baloney but that seems the way people deal with things.
My husband's niece is getting married in the fall. She has asked for a cake. I agreed that it would be the gift. It would be so much cheaper for me to just put money in an envelope. Now she is stating this and that...a hairdresser topper with a hockey player!!! Has no time to send a fabric sample of the dresses etc. Then this cake is being delivered to another country and she asks where are you going to tweak the final details??? Her mother does not have the room to put us up and she is the only relative we have in this town????!!! The hotel room I guess was my response. Small wedding so she said not the 400 her sister had. Small currently means 250.
So please don;t think about it. Your cake was a beautiful gift and people are just too selfish to think beyond the moment. We are an instant gratification nation and move on to the next thing.
Move on and keep doing your hobby when you can afford it and when it comes to friends who are not going to pay for a cake? write a cheque. it would be easier on you.

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cathyscakes Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 10:22pm
post #22 of 24

Wow you guys are amazing, thanks so much, getting a little teary here. Made me feel so much better. I always doubt myself, you are all so sweet to make such nice comments.
I think the reason it bothered me is I see her mom and her on fb all the time, commenting on the wedding, but not one mention of the cake, even when I would comment on how beautiful the wedding was. I think they are just busy, I know how I would be if someone did something nice for me, I would definitely thank them right away. They didn't go on a honeymoon, so I know they are still in town, its o.k. I just start doubting myself and my cakes. I'm sure I will hear from them soon, but wanted to thank you all for you nice comments, made me feel so much better.

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Angfastic Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 11:08pm
post #23 of 24

I made a wedding cake and groom's cake for a friend and she didn't so much as taste either of them. Even said they gave the leftover cake to one of her friends who has a lot of people come through her house. I got in from out of town the evening before and was up all night and day working on it. In fact I missed the wedding and got there just in time for the reception with the cake icon_redface.gif . She did say thanks, though icon_smile.gif.

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yummy_in_my_tummy Posted 16 Jun 2011 , 11:18pm
post #24 of 24

Yeah, I wouldn't worry about if they liked it or not, you did a great job! And, personally, IMO, if someone gets a free cake (or just pays for supplies), they don't get to have an opinion! lol If they wanted to have an opinion, they could have paid full price!!!

I would do as someone mentioned above, post it on FB with a comment about how you enjoyed making it and you think it turned out great!

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