Need Encouragement. Feeling Very Overwhelmed....

Lounge By Wing-Ding Updated 23 Jun 2011 , 3:34pm by springlakecake

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Wing-Ding Posted 14 Jun 2011 , 5:34pm
post #1 of 22

I know we all go through rough times and get overwhelmed. I'm sure we even feel like we are the ONLY ones who ever go through it too, right?

Here's why I'm feeling overwhelmed and as if I cannot accomplish my cake assignments right now.

June is my busiest month. 10 birthdays between my family and closest friends, school ends and work picks up. This year, my mom turns 60. She's never had a birthday party. My sister and I decided to throw her a surprise party and invite all sorts of friends and family from across the country. I even went ahead and bought a plane ticket for my mother's best friend because he couldn't afford it (hours cut at work drastically). This is going to be a great surprise for her. Party is this Saturday, the 18th.

Naturally, I'm making the cake. It's going to be a 3 or 4 tiered cake (I've never made a 4 tiered cake!). All fondant covered with fondant flowers and the cakes are all custom flavors (all my mom's favorites). I've spent a good $200 on supplies for the cakes and decorating already. We all know how much time it's going to take to decorate with no help. On top of this, my sister has decided to make it a potluck. She has asked me to make the hummus, tabouleh and apricot-mango salsa that my mother loves so much. Luckily, none of this requires the oven.

Did I mention that I'm buying a house? No? Well, I'm still waiting to close and I have to move out of my apartment on the 25th. We (my son and I) are packing and planning on putting everything into storage until I close and are going to live with my mother until then. Not stressful enough? Hold on....

I work 50 hours a week as a procurement manager for a production company. I also have pets that I cannot take to my mother's place. I've been looking for a home for them and preparing to relocate my animals. On top of the baking, working, packing and cooking, I'm running around town preparing my animals for their temp home. I'm dropping them off this week as well. Still not stressful enough? Ok, add this:

I'm also a volunteer (but contracted at no cost) photographer for the local roller derby league. I just finished a 3 day national tournament and this week they have another fundraising event I have to be there for. But wait, it gets even better....

It seems I'm the only one to provide transportation for those flying in for the party this week (the detriment of living 4 miles from the airport). AND I'm providing transportation on the day of the party for 2 of the elderly guests that live 20 miles apart. But since they are grandma and my aunt, I really can't complain. Hold on... there's even one last thing.

I have a massive ear infection right now. The right side of my face is swollen down to my jaw and I can't chew or close my jaw all the way. Luckily, there's no fever, but I'm in constant pain. Then of course you have the little things.... like my son freezing my cream cheese and when it thawed, it separated... and two of the cakes falling and having to redo them. Was up til 1am last night finishing that. I feel like it'll never be done and I can't get a break.

Ok.... Thanks for letting me vent. Feel free to throw rotten tomatoes at me!

21 replies
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Kiddiekakes Posted 14 Jun 2011 , 5:41pm
post #2 of 22

Man..You do have your hands full..Remember to time manage...take a deep breath and before you know will be over...

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Brevity Posted 14 Jun 2011 , 5:44pm
post #3 of 22

Honey, (it has to be serious, because I'm not a 'honey'er) you have GOT to outsource some of this. Your mom is going to be thrilled to see these people. If the salsa isn't made - no big deal. If the cake turns into sheet cake - no big deal. This is family, and you have too much personal stuff going on. Give yourself a break!
....& congrats on the house! (think about the good parts, and let this be the exciting time it is)

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vicki3336 Posted 14 Jun 2011 , 5:50pm
post #4 of 22

First, let me start by saying, "Bless your heart!"

Next, you seem a little like me...I always seem to think I can do everything and hate to say no to anything. Got my bottom kicked two years ago by over-volunteering. I had a great friend who came to my rescue. Do you have anyone who could help? Even if it is just with the airport pickups or making the dishes (with your recipe of course) for the party? Airport taxis maybe? Is your son old enough to help out?

It really sucks to feel badly when you've got all this going on. The stress of it all is probably prolonging your recovery as well.

I'm so sorry. Wish I could help.

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pastrygirls Posted 14 Jun 2011 , 5:52pm
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take it one day at a time, and tell your sister to help out with some stuff! you have enough going on. Hope you feel better. you'll get through it and everything will be fabulous! icon_smile.gif think positive

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inspiredbymom Posted 14 Jun 2011 , 5:54pm
post #6 of 22

This is what I have learned as a wife and mom of 4 an owner of 2 and soon to be 3 businesses, and a volunteer at church and other places. Delegate, Delegate, Delegate. Occasionally I even had to learn the word no. That one stings a bit but I've had to use it. If all that fails, deep breathing always helps! Good luck and congrats on the new house! You can only do what you can do!

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Cakegirl74 Posted 14 Jun 2011 , 5:59pm
post #7 of 22

First of all big hugs, you have a whole lot on your plate. I think we all take on too much from time to time, I know I do. I sure hope someone can help you out a little but in case not, prioritize and let something slide. It will feel sucky but you need to look after you, you are important remember that. Good luck with getting everything done and congratulations on the new house.

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Kitagrl Posted 14 Jun 2011 , 6:05pm
post #8 of 22

Definitely delegate! I was worried this week because I was supposed to plan a baby shower plus do the cake, plus two other cakes, plus my husband gone all week so I have the four boys to myself.... (and that's not even half as bad as the OP!)

So I found someone to take over some of the planning for the shower (I'm just doing games, and the cake) and then luckily I had someone decide to put off their cake order, so that takes me down to the shower cake and one wedding I'm working on gumpaste for a detailed cake for next weekend.

Anyway just sayin....say NO or delegate some things! Your sanity and your family are more important.

I honestly don't see how people with full time jobs do cake on the side....I do cake as my ONLY job (while I am a stay at home mom of four boys) and some weeks I feel like I put 40 hours in the kitchen counting cleanup and all that!!!!

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kimmisue2009 Posted 14 Jun 2011 , 6:13pm
post #9 of 22

If I had your number I would call you and sing "Jesus Loves Me" over the phone to you. No wonder they call women steel magnolias! Chin up!

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Sangriacupcake Posted 14 Jun 2011 , 6:19pm
post #10 of 22

Don't forget to take care of yourself!! You are definitely trying to do too much, and there are probably others who can help. Enlist the help of all teens in the family, and get the hubbies to contribute, as well. When your guests arrive and they offer to help, give them a specific job...I assure you most people will be happy to help as long as you tell them what they can do. Don't feel bad about serving simple dinners in the days before the party...when I'm really busy , my family gets sandwiches and fruit or a roasted chicken from the deli...and they know better than to complain. icon_lol.gif

You aren't feeling well, so take frequent breaks, drink your fluids, and get some rest. I hope you're feeling better very soon.

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kittitiangirl Posted 14 Jun 2011 , 6:34pm
post #11 of 22

Big hugs! We all go through some tough times and look back and wonder how in the world we managed. You will make it through but you need to set priorities and delegate. Your body is trying to tell you that you aren't getting enough rest. That you're over-extending yourself.
I know you're proud of the cakes you make but making fondant flowers will take far more time than you have right now. Do yourself a favor and use fresh flowers. As far as the pot-luck, you have enough to do just making the cake. If everyone is bringing a dish there will be more than enough food without you trying to do three dishes. If you think you really need to have your mom's favorite, give the recipe to your sister to make. There's no reason she can't pick up the guest that need to be chauffeured either. If she truly can't, have her find someone else that is attending the party that can pick them up. You will have your hands full just trying to move and set up a four-tier cake.
People that get things done are rare in this world. There is a saying that "If you want something done, go to the busiest person in town" It's very nice of you to volunteer your services, but you can't do all and be all to everyone. While you're moving and making pet arrangements, take some time off from your volunteer activities. Eventually you won't be good for anyone, if you aren't good to yourself first. Show yourself the love and respect you show others.
I wish you all the best! Take care of yourself!

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Spuddysmom Posted 14 Jun 2011 , 6:42pm
post #12 of 22

Wing-Ding -
Throw rotten tomatoes at you?! Hey, if it would help make that salsa you know we'd all be throwing mangoes and apricots. Of course you need to delegate - you may not be thinking clearly with that infection but wake up and smell the buttercream - take care of yourself first - then delegate.

Your son sounds like he's helping wth the packing - do you have any other relatives you can hand over your salsa, hummus, tabbouleh recipes and they can bring it to the party. Even a teen could do that. What happened to shuttle service from the airport - it usually isn't that pricey, if the visitors can't afford it, can you? Your time is too valuable now to be doing errands others can manage.

You have so much on your plate; it is time to share.....

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kristiemarie Posted 14 Jun 2011 , 7:04pm
post #13 of 22

Oy yoy yoy woman! Tell you sister to do the salsa! LOL

Seriously though, I'd definitely call your sister and tell her that she needs to take some of the responsibility. It's hard and if you're like me, its near impossible to let go of everything. But you won't even be able to enjoy your weekend and party if you don't because you'll be exhausted, miserable and sick and tired of everything.

Take a step back and figure out what you can delegate to ANYONE. Little things even. One little thing your son does is one less thing for you to do!

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MamaDear Posted 14 Jun 2011 , 7:15pm
post #14 of 22

I would definitely ask my sister to do the three dishes...if you are doing a cake then that would satisfy your dish for a potluck.

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Wing-Ding Posted 14 Jun 2011 , 7:30pm
post #15 of 22

Thank you all! I'm taking a break before I go on a a site survey to respond..... and my boss was awesome and told me to go home and work from bed. I asked him if I could leave the work part out though. lol

My son is autistic. He is 15 and although he is very helpful, he needs a LOT of guidance. There was one time I asked if he wanted to make pancakes. He said he wanted to do it by himself. When he was done with the batter, he was soooo frustrated. I took one look and started giggling. He didn't crack the eggs open. He put the whole egg in, shell and everything.

I already scaled back on my sister. She had originally asked me to buy the decorations and provide some of the grilling meats. She also asked me to help her decorate her home and make a couple more dishes. I told her this is why she has a husband and two capable daughters..... to help HER. Then I showed her the receipt for the cake decorating supplies and the ingredients. That convinced her to pitch in and buy the decorations. She did, finally, offer to TAKE people to the airport, but I'm still the person who has to pick them up. ugh.

One really cool thing that happened after I posted that original vent: My boss casually asked what's going on with my move. I told him everything that's going on. He came back 30 minutes later with a coupon for a free 2 hour deep tissue massage and a free spa treatment at the place his wife owns and told me I could take a couple of paid days off next week. SCORE!!!

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kristiemarie Posted 14 Jun 2011 , 7:31pm
post #16 of 22

Your boss is awesome! ENJOY IT!

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Elcee Posted 14 Jun 2011 , 7:36pm
post #17 of 22

Yes, definitely delegate! See if a friend can do the airport runs for you. There must be other guests going to the party who can pick up your aunt and grandmother. If your sister is already doing a lot (you don't mention her contributions), then maybe have a friend or your son make the other dishes. If sis is NOT contributing as much as you are, then you need to have a talk with her (and since she's your sister, you can sob, scream, pout, blackmail, whatever it takes icon_lol.gif). What about your mother's friends? I bet they'd love to help. I'm sure no one (except us, of course) realizes how overwhelmed you are. Can you take Friday off from work? Can the roller derbyists (?) help? Call in the troops, so to speak? If I lived near you, I'd help.

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ChilliPepper Posted 14 Jun 2011 , 8:54pm
post #18 of 22

I think you are a wonderful, caring, loving person. That said I am now going to shout at you:


Shouting over. Your boss sounds like a nice guy. Good on you for throwing some of the responsibility back on your sister. Do you have any other relatives that you could offload some of the responsibilities on to?

I hope you heal quickly and have a wonderful weekend.

Big hugs and loads of love,

CP xxxx

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kittitiangirl Posted 14 Jun 2011 , 10:12pm
post #19 of 22

icon_biggrin.gif Way to go girl! Good for you!

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Wing-Ding Posted 15 Jun 2011 , 6:15pm
post #20 of 22

Thank you everyone! My boss is truly awesome. His philosophy is that the work will still be here when I get back, and I'm never late on my deadlines, so why wouldn't he do this for me. Love it.

Feeling better today. Tired, but better.

Someone asked what my sister was doing for all of this. She is hosting the party, provided the invitations and is providing some of the food. She is doing the decorating of the house with her family (I declined to help), and probably not much else. Her husband is somewhat of a miser and doesn't allow her to spend excess money, not even for family. He's even bothered that the party is at the house because it's not a sports related event.

Other family? NYC.... All the way across the country. Other than a couple of elderly family that lives here, everyone is in NYC. Two of my most helpful friends are out of town this week too. One of them offered to fly back to help me, but that means missing her own mother's birthday and I couldn't have that! LOL

You all are great and I'm so happy to have a support system like Cake Central!

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Wing-Ding Posted 20 Jun 2011 , 2:04am
post #21 of 22
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springlakecake Posted 23 Jun 2011 , 3:34pm
post #22 of 22

all I can say is (((hugs))))!

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