Just curious as to how many of us have lost both parents.
I lost both parents by the time I was 30. My mother has been gone for 4 years now! I can not believe that! My dad has been gone for 8 years! Both died in October. Two days before my mother died she called me and said "It's October again. You dad's been gone four years already. I miss him so much." We did our usual crying and supporting each other by talking about dad and the good times we all had. Then two days later at a little after midnight my mother's part time live-in boyfriend called me and said "Your mother's gone!" I said "What do you mean she's gone? Where did she go?" He told me that she died!!! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I thought "This must be a joke." I felt so numb and frozen I couldn't say anything. I had to call my sister and then my Grandmother and Grandfather (mother's parents). The worst moment of my life. When I got to her house, a house I lived in for 16 years, the paramedics had already been there and a coroner had already been called but were told not to move her until I got there. She was lying on the floor of her bedroom. I felt her, she was already cool on top but her backside was still warm. It was horrible! It was the most painful moment of my life. My mom had a miocardial infarction. A massive heart attack in her sleep. She went to bed after watching CSI and started watching her recorded soaps from that day and apparently fell asleep which she always did and had a heart attack. Her boyfriend was still in the living room watching the news. Had he gone to bed with her he could have helped her he said! He may not have even known what was happening though if he were with her. I had to handle all the physical things in the house including the estate sale. My husband actually was present during the two day estate sale. There is no way I could watch strangers rifling through things I have been around my whole life. Personal items. Things I remember my parents buying on our trips when we lived in Holland! There was no way I could do that!!!!! It was so tough deciding what to keep and what to donate. I still have boxes in my grandmother-in laws basement. As time has gone by it's easier and easier to go through things that I've kept and then donate.
My dad died in 1998 after a kidney transplant. My DH and I were living in Va. Beach at the time and I remember my older sister calling me telling me she just put mom and dad on a plane to Walter Reed Army Medical Center in DC. They found a kidney for my dad. I was so happy! We had a hurricane threatening off the coast at the time and my husband had to be on the ship because of it and I was working a double shift! Anyway, two months passed and several trips up to D.C. my dad got a blood infection and (I'll spare all those details) he died as a result of that NOT the kidney transplant. That part just pisses me off. My mother, grandmother, my husband, and I were at my dad's side as he died. Mom made the decision to remove support. He had been put in an induced coma for two weeks. We weren't in the room when everything was removed but when we were allowed to go in my grandmother and I swear we say him mouth the words "thank you"! I know the mouth and tongue move when the body is taking it's last breaths but I truly believe that's what happened. So now both of my parents are buried at a National Cemetery here in WA about an hour away.
There you have it!
Amy
Lost my mother when I was 12 to kidney disease, we did home dialysis for a couple of years, yes I helped, knew my way round artificial kidneys when I was 10, at that time, we had to put them together and after dialysis apart and wash and sterilize the boards. My father died in my arms suddenly of a stroke when I was 29, 3 months before I got married. I'm so glad to this day that he at least had met my husband and liked him too. He was planning the reception at the pool after his round of practice golf and suddenly stopped talking.
Oh Ursula~I'm so sorry! You know I still can not imagine losing parents so tragically/suddenly! With my dad we knew! He had lupus for 15 years. He too was on dialysis, home dialysis then eventually hemodialysis right before the transplant.
It's amazing how much the stick with us in our everyday lives still now!
Amy
You know, I still don't know what's worse, knowing and seeing the person suffer or so suddenly like my father. For him, it was easier, but for us..., both ways are hard. I'm only glad, that he died, when he was really happy and all the docs said, that he probably didn't even feel a thing, it was so fast.
I lost my father when I was 15 (I'm 26 now.). He had a stroke in July. He was in the hospital and rehab until October. He was paralyzed on the right side and could not talk. It was rough seeing such an active person not be able to do anything. He passed away the next January. A blood clot turned loose. He was 63 but he just didn't ever seem that old.
I just had a scare with my mom who is 58. She had to have a stent put in. If she hadn't had it put in when she did, we'd be facing a heart attack and open heart surgery. So far she is doing great. I dread losing her.
JuLinda
Seems many of us have lost our parents at a young age. My father when I was 19 and my mother when I was 35. But it doesn't matter how old you are or how old they are, you are never ready to lose someone you love. So, be good to your parents, always remember to tell them and show them you love them because you never know.
I lost my dad at 30, 2 1/2 years ago, one week before I got married. He had been having problems with falling down for a few months. He refused to go to the doctor. A few more months went by and he started falling down again. When we finally did get him to go the hospital, he didn't come home again. We took him to the VA hospital, and they tried to tell us that he only a urinary tract infection and they wanted to send him home. My brother and I told them that something else was wrong, and we refused to take him home that night. They kept him, and did more tests. It turned out that he had lung cancer, and had probably known about it for months without telling any of us. He was babysitting my daughters one month before he died, but never got the chance to ever get to know my husband and sons.
I lost my dad in '81 at the age of 60 from a brain tumor. He had surgery in may and died in sept. Then I lost my hubby at the age of 35 in a boating accident, so my 4 kids know what it is like to lose a parent too.They were 14,13 10 and 14 months. Then my mom was in a car accident in Oct 2003 and broke her leg and was getting ready to have her cast off, had a blood clot go to her lungs in jan 2004.She was 73 yrs old. At least she got to meet my new hubby once before we got married in May 2004 She lived in Ark and I live in Tn so we didn't get to visit as much as I would have liked. I did stay with her for a couple weeks while she was recuperating, then my sister went and stayed with her. I was just getting over a hysterectomy at the time, so I couldn't do a lot.I sure miss her. I chatted with her online all of the time.
My dad will be gone 8 years this May. His health had been failing and he was living in a rescue mission over an hours drive away. He refused to live with any of his children and felt that God was using him mightily at the mission. He had lived a VERY hard lifestyle and his health had steadily gone downhill. After a stint in the hospital, we had to put him in a nursing home. He HATED it!! Lasted a day before he was back in the hospital. He had numerous issues, was in a coma and the Dr. told us there was nothing more that could be done. My sisters and I made the tough decision to "unplug" him. We stood around him, sang hymns and prayed while he left this earthly life 20 minutes later. I know he willed his own death because being dependent on other people and living in a nursing home was paramount to torture for him.
We scattered his ashes in a meadow just as he wished.
Wow.
Death is just...horrible.
My best friends' dad died last night.
She is 17 years old.
and she has a younger brother and sister.
All my family knows is death.in july 1969 my 20 year old brother died of cancer.in oct 69 my grandpa died of a heart attack, in 90 my dad died of a heart attack walking back from the mail box, in 92 my 54 year old brother died heart attack ,96 my brother 54 years old dies of a so called heart attack.nov 10 98 my mom dies of a heart attack.nov 10 01 my sister 54 died of lung cancer just about 6 weeks after we found out she had it. plus most of all my aunts and uncles,and 5 miscariages,there was six boys and three girls in my family ,there is just 4 of us still living. 
My dad died in his sleep 2 yrs ago in May. He had been back and forth to so many doctors that my mother said for the last 2 years she never slept through a night, listening for his breathing. He seem to be getting better and just died in his sleep. We don't know if it was a stroke or a heart attack. I have lost two grandfathers to heart attacks and two grandmothers to alzheimers. But the worst death for me is my daughter who only lived 30 hrs. That was 22 years ago and there has not been a day that I do not think of her. She was born on my birthday and died on my dad's birthday. It seems strange telling this to someone I have just recently met and on a forum, but not many people want to talk about death because it makes them uneasy. I feel it's a release of sadness. Thank you
Seems many of us have lost our parents at a young age. My father when I was 19 and my mother when I was 35. But it doesn't matter how old you are or how old they are, you are never ready to lose someone you love. So, be good to your parents, always remember to tell them and show them you love them because you never know.
Such a powerful reply. My dad passed away almost three years ago. I have no grandparents either. My Uncle passed away tonight and his wife my aunt passed away a little over a year ago. They say he gave up after she passed away.
But I remember that my dad called me a week or so before he passed away. He was in transition from having another episode. He called late and I barked at him-Not beucase I was mad that he called or that it was late--Because my sister who lived with him would not answer his calls. He called to ask if she was home and sure enough she was.
So my sister had left to go out of town for a couple of days. The day she left I received a call from my brother. My uncle was at the house and my father was having trouble breathing. Heavy smoker and drinker most of his life. He bounced back everytime he had a episode. Well they tried to revive him for an hour all the way to the hospital. He passed away. I remember everything very clear. It was fourth of July and I was at the funeral home with my brother. I was 27 when he passed away. I remember sitting there looking at fabric for the casket and nothing was right. The man said Velvet is a good choice and I said something like would you like to spend eternity on Velvet?? My brother looked at me and said Ok well I think you are hungry!
I cried because I felt bad. I went to see him at the hospital and it was so hard. I had to ID him for the hospital and just sat there not knowing what to do. So yes never be angry and live by this moment.
Sorry for your loss.
I agree you never know, but young or old it still hurts. my mother walked out my life when i was eight never to be heard from again. I was raised by the best father and grandmother and grandfather that there ever was. I never wanted for anything all my emtional needs were met. I lost my father and grandmother in the same year months apart. My father went into the hospital in march of '03 for an aortic (not sure i spelled that right) valve replacement and stayed on a breathing machine awake for months with complications arising every other day. They eventually had to redo the surgery in june( '03) and we lost him at that time. his heart would not start back up. he was the light of my grandmothers life, although she had 2 boys they shared a special bond that came through an illines my father had earlier in life. She was different after that. she didnt have the same excitement and joy in her eyes. she was dealing with helth problems herself and told my grandfather and myself that after she finished taking care of the business concering my fathers estate that she was ready to go. she finished the business on monday and passed away that thursday (sept. '03 ) at home byherself. cause of death according to the coroner was heart failure but my grandfather and I both agree that she had a broken heart. I turn 27 on thursday of this month and my heart has already begun to feel heavy. watching greys anatomy on last week I fully understood the statement " i don't know how to exsist in a world where my father dosn't ". My husband lost his mother when he was 16 so it helps to talk to him about things but my heart still feels different. I thank whoever started this post this has helped. I am an only child and all my friends still have their parents and I hate to rain on their happiness with my gloom.
Here is a video my daughter sent me tonight to remind me that she loves me. I think everyone whose parents or grandparents ar aging should watch this and understand.
http://parentswish.com/site01/big.html
I always feel so bad that I'm the one whose going to get to spend the least time with my parents since I'm the youngest. . .
and everyones' parents at school are in their late thirties or early forties. . .and my parents are in their mid-fifties. I kinda like that because they are more experienced and more mature, but the thought of losing them so soon. . . 
Exactly. I was also the youngest and my parents were 40 and 46 when I was born, so I always felt my older brothers and sisters had an opportunity to spend more time with them. But you know I think I got the best years with my mother because of the fact that she was older, she had more time to spend with me and more patience. So I would suggest you ask all of your questions of your parents now, things like your family history on both sides, things they did as children and growing up. Later when your parents are gone you will think of things you wish you had asked and didn't.
Exactly. I was also the youngest and my parents were 40 and 46 when I was born, so I always felt my older brothers and sisters had an opportunity to spend more time with them. But you know I think I got the best years with my mother because of the fact that she was older, she had more time to spend with me and more patience. So I would suggest you ask all of your questions of your parents now, things like your family history on both sides, things they did as children and growing up. Later when your parents are gone you will think of things you wish you had asked and didn't.
I'm also glad I got the best years. When they had my other brothers and sister they were young, starting out, etc., and now I get to have them at their best. Although the time when Mom went through her stage of menop. . . that's another story. 
Thanks, Shirley, you're really insightful. I think I'm the one who knows my parents the best though, since I'm the one who's spent more time w/ them.
My dad is exactly 40 years older than me (I was born on his birthday forty years later) and my mom is 38 years older.
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