Cake And Family.......kinda Long

Lounge By mamapastel Updated 17 Feb 2011 , 9:58pm by ChRiStY_71

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mamapastel Posted 16 Feb 2011 , 4:18pm
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I wonder if anyone else has this problem? whenever I make a few cakes to sell on the weekends or for holidays, my husband ALWAYS gets mad at the amount of time I spend in the kitchen! He complains about the house not getting cleaned and how I dont even break even with the cakes, everything! Now my house isnt a pigstye, and I awlays clean every single day, but when I'm in the kitchen with the cakes, it takes time! i also have 3 kids that I have to tend to. I stop and feed them, break up fights, whatever! But of course that doesnt count and I am only int eh kitchen taking uop time with the cakes! Ahhh! I thought over this weekend I was doing something good. my husband works in construction, and because of the weather, he only worked 1 day! Ok I am no magician, but $100 doesnt cover gas, groceries and bills! I made enough to put gas in my truck and by some more groceries and pay a delinquent bill! It is never enough for my hubby! He thinks I should make as much or more than he does! Well, i made more than he gave me, $170, thats not too bad for 4 small cakes and two larger ones! Sorry this is soooo long, I just needed to vent!

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Nikkey Posted 16 Feb 2011 , 4:54pm
post #2 of 11

I completely understand... but my husband does not complain its actually me who complains. He gets upset because I don't clean up right away. I am new to baking (I've been doing it less than a year) so it takes me a long time. So when I finish I am so tired, and it its late I will clean in the morning. He thinks I should clean up right away. I know this probably does not help you at all but at least you know theres more of us out there dealing with the same issue.. or close to. icon_biggrin.gif

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mamapastel Posted 16 Feb 2011 , 5:01pm
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Thanks! I just feel so alone in this. Somedays he is all for me making cakes, he even talks about making our backporch into my baking kitchen, then other days he just complains about everything. Granted I know I am too nice on some of the cake price's, but I am doing better! I would rather not have to make the cake than feel cheeted out of money!

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Nikkey Posted 16 Feb 2011 , 5:07pm
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I have the same problem... I am not experienced so I have only made cakes for friends and family. When they ask me how much they are I tell them to just pay for materials... then it ends up being more then what they paid me. I did see some stuff on cake boss (the website) and it said how to price your cakes. You should be charging close to what bakeries charge maybe a little less if you're less experienced. Once I hit my one year mark of making cakes I will start to charge more.. what do you usually charge for your cake?

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Herekittykitty Posted 16 Feb 2011 , 5:29pm
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Is he working steadily when he brings up converting your porch in to a kitchen, and not working when he complains? Sounds like stress from not being the "man" and providing for his family. Save us from men and thier macho neediness.

Keep doing what you are doing to help support your family. Particuarily if you enjoy it. Your husband can help around the house if he feels it is falling behind. They won't take his man card from him.

Charge more for your cakes if you can, don't undervalue yourself, your work is awesome.

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TexasSugar Posted 16 Feb 2011 , 5:49pm
post #6 of 11

I think there are several issues at play here.

HereKitty echoed my thoughts. Part of it could very well be that he is stressed about not making much and projecting that stress at you.

I'd say it's time to sit down and have an open and honest conversation with him. Find out exactly what is bothering him, if it really is the cakes or if he has something to do with other issues.

As far as house stuff, I'm sorry, but this is a different day and age. I totally understand if a woman stays at home while her husband goes out and work that she should be taking care of the house. BUT that doesn't exclude men from helping. Being a house wife and a mother is a 24/7/365 kind of job, and needs help as well as time to do things for themselves.

Please make sure you are charging now only for the cost of ingredients but also for your labor and adding on a profit. If you worked anywhere else you'd had been paid for your time spent doing it, and since this is time spent away from your family, it needs to be paid for as well.

This post has some good information about the cost/labor/profit. icon_smile.gif

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AmysCakesNCandies Posted 16 Feb 2011 , 6:38pm
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I think most of us who work out of our homes have run into some type of argument over it with our spouse at one point or another. Because we do not have a solid line seperating our work & family lives.

My husband is famous for getting behind me 100% and suggesting i do more, advertise more and really make it work... oh and "lets build a kitchen space over the garage so you can have a dedicated space"..... all sounds great. Until I start to do that, advertise, do wedding shows, book more cakes.

Well then he turns to "when are you going to have family time, I wanted to do blah, blah blah this weekend, this kitchen is such a mess when your working, you can't keep putting the baby in daycare everytime you need to do a cake... so on and so on....

It goes in cycles like this.... I've begun to realize that he wants me to do cakes and make some extra cash, but only when its convenient for HIM.

Don't let it get you down, if he is like most men he will say his piece and then forget about it a week later, hopefully when he is back to working more it will not be a fighing point for the two of you.

As far as pricing goes... as others have sais... price what you are worth and you will be sure to make a little more cash.

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zespri Posted 16 Feb 2011 , 7:14pm
post #8 of 11

My husband definitely gets grumpy at me for doing cakes, but then we have a toddler, and spare time is precious so I kinda get why he feels that way. However my 'thing' that keeps me sane, so I'm not prepared to give it up. Compromise worked for us. We agreed that when we get home from work, it's family time. That includes cleaning, anything that is done for the family. So we do stuff together until the baby goes to bed at 7pm, then it's individual time, we can both do what we like. Unfortunately 'couple time' doesn't really exist at the moment, but we both work almost fulltime, we're pretty tired! We get couple nights every now and then, and we understand it's normal at this stage of a family to not have much of that.

In regards to making money from the cakes, I think for most it's done for love, not money. I was talking to the ladies at my local cake supplies shop. She told me she gets on average $8 per hour, and this is her livelihood, it's what she does to make a living. I do think she is too cheap, mind you.

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mamapastel Posted 16 Feb 2011 , 8:59pm
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Thanks everyone! I have been seriously going over my pricing. Most of my cakes have been done for my family too! I have a lot of nieces and nephews! My husband does like when I make cakes, he has told me how proud he is of me, and so have my kids! they are my biggest fans! i guess its only when my hubby feels so helpless that he complains! He has been working everyday this week so far, its been really nice! Ahhh this Kansas weather! I underestimate my work so much though! The other day I was on some one else's facebook and I didnt find their cakes anymore impressive than man, in fact mine are better! I guess I just need to keep spreading the word and letting people know what I can do! Its nice to see the smile on someone's face when they get their cake! I love the feeling!

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zespri Posted 16 Feb 2011 , 9:03pm
post #10 of 11

You are so right, that's what it's all about!

Originally Posted by mamapastel

Its nice to see the smile on someone's face when they get their cake! I love the feeling!

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ChRiStY_71 Posted 17 Feb 2011 , 9:58pm
post #11 of 11

My husband HATES it when I bake! I make a horrible mess (but I always clean it up!) and I don't really like for anybody to be in the kitchen when I am cooking...mainly because I live in a house full of men~we have two almost grown sons! He never compliments me on my work and complains anytime that I tell him about a cake that I have to do. It is SOOO frustrating!

Money is not a factor really. We both work fulltime and I also do some medical billing from home for extra spending money. He has never supported any of my hobbies...he even hates it when I read a book! It does hurt my feelings that he doesn't appreciate any of my talents but mainly it just drives me crazy!! I just tell him to get over it...I have dedicated MANY years to doing things that he and our children were interested in and now it is my time to enjoy the things in life that make ME happy! thumbs_up.gif

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