How Do I Handle This? So Hard Right Now

Lounge By sweetneice Updated 7 Jan 2011 , 2:51am by sweetneice

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sweetneice Posted 1 Jan 2011 , 5:12pm
post #1 of 14

Yesterday I did 3 dog cakes without a dog pan, & all in buttercream icing. It would have been ok, if I was more focused. You see, I had just found out the day before that I had miscarried & could possibly have cancer or something causing a serious operation/procdure.. I Know I didn't do my best & it wasn't up to par. I also forgot to give the man's father 6 cupcakes that went with it. He got a perfect 1/2 sheet cake, a perfect donut looking cake, but the 3 dog cakes didn't look that great. By the time I started working on them I was in so much pain, & it had finally hit me. I just didnt do my best. I think I'm going to call him, tell him to pick up the money for the dogs & cupcakes and apologize for the poor job. I NEVER do that! I feel so bad that it's consuming me guys, & I can't think about anything else except what this man might say alongside everything else. I feel like I totally suck right now, and it was for a wedding rehearsal dinner. I feel horrible. Am I doing the right thing? I think so, but I would sure love to hear what my cake friends think.

13 replies
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jenncowin Posted 1 Jan 2011 , 5:30pm
post #2 of 14

We are our worst critics. I would say if the customer doesn't say anything, I wouldn't bring it up. But it is ultimately your decision. Sometimes I find myself over thinking situations like this and it drives me crazy, but then my DH will say that he doesn't know what I'm talking about, it looks fine.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I'll say an extra prayer for you.

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sweetneice Posted 1 Jan 2011 , 5:33pm
post #3 of 14

Thanks so much for the prayer and advice. My DH does the same thing. I know for a fact I criticize myself so harsh bc I want to always put out the best and I haven't had a bad cake day like this in a long time. Thanks for taking the time to read and respond. I appreciate it.

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-K8memphis Posted 1 Jan 2011 , 5:35pm
post #4 of 14

Oh my. I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. Please accept my sympathy in your stunning loss. Be sure to give yourself plenty of time to grieve and recover from this physically and emotionally.

Wow. I hope you get some good solid information soon about your further condition and possible surgery. You are only human and obviously reeling, going through a tough tough time.

The cakes. Have you received any feedback? It doesn't sound like you have so because of all the trauma I think you should call and inquire gently. Ordinarily I would say just forget it. But I think there's too much going on for you to try & shine this on. This at least is one thing you can control to some extent.

Say something like, "Mr. Smith, wanted to check and see how everything went for your special occasion." Say it as if it all went well and you're just getting his highlights.

The only reference I would recommend making to your situation is that if he agrees with your critique then say you had some family issues arise and you're more than happy to refund half.
Apologize once.
No coupons. You need to put this away so you can move on to start working through the other things.

If he says everything was great blablabla then say great so happy for you! And put it firmly behind you.

(((giant hug)))

Love & Prayers,

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-K8memphis Posted 1 Jan 2011 , 5:37pm
post #5 of 14

Do you have pictures though?
That would be best to post them first--we'll shoot straight with yah.

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sweetneice Posted 1 Jan 2011 , 5:56pm
post #6 of 14

K8memphis thanks for all of your advice. My associate took a few pics and I'll post them for you when I find my usb port! lol! I know I have to give him his money back for the cupcakes he paid for and didn't receive, But I kinda wanted to get to him before he got to me with a phone call. Thanks for the apologize once tip. When I feel bad about things I tend to over apologize, so that tip was on time!

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susiekoos Posted 1 Jan 2011 , 6:04pm
post #7 of 14

So sorry to hear of your stituation.... BIG HUGS and LOVE coming your way.. Follow yout heart so you feel better . WE are our own worst critics, but you need to do whatever it takes so you don't stress about this anymore.
Wishing you a Happy New Year icon_wink.gif

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jenncowin Posted 1 Jan 2011 , 6:05pm
post #8 of 14

K8memphis put it very well!

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sweetneice Posted 1 Jan 2011 , 6:13pm
post #9 of 14

HAPPY NEW YEAR SUSIE!! Thanks for your words of comfort and advice! I agree, K8Memphis did a great job responding!

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cheatize Posted 2 Jan 2011 , 3:47am
post #10 of 14

Yep, do what it takes so you feel better. Contact him and offer a refund for the cupcakes. If he mentions anything else, refund appropriately. I know stuff happens but man, when it happens to you, it really happens, doesn't it? I hope obsessing a bit about this takes your mind off all the other stuff at least a little bit, for a little while.

My sincerest condolences on your loss.

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MollyGirl_17 Posted 2 Jan 2011 , 7:10am
post #11 of 14

Hugs and prayers sent your way. I agree with Memphis and Cheat - you need to do what you need to do to make yourself feel at ease about the cakes so you can deal with the more important health issues. Cakes come second to your health anyday.

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sweetneice Posted 2 Jan 2011 , 11:27pm
post #12 of 14

Thanks guys......I appreciate all the kind words and advice. I'm going to make a phone call to him Monday and refund the cupcakes. If he mentions the dog cakes, I will refund appropriately. I'm beginning to take my mind off the cakes and focus more on the physical and mental pain of what's going on with me. I'm resting right now while in lots of pain, but trying to take my mind off it by being on here. Have you guys ever had a bad cake that went out and felt horrible about it? What did you do to feel better? Again thanks for the comfort guys, you never know what that means to someone.

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tryingcake Posted 3 Jan 2011 , 3:38am
post #13 of 14

I always give a refund or partial refund if that's what my gut is telling me to do - whether I hear from the customer or not. One customer refused to take it stating she loved the cake. Kudos to her! But bottom line, I have to sleep with myself at night and refuse to worry about something like this. If I feel the customer deserves some cash back - that's exactly what I do.

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sweetneice Posted 7 Jan 2011 , 2:51am
post #14 of 14

Well, the gentleman's father came in and said " You know I gotta tell you about those cakes you did....................Everybody LOVED THEM! They were talking about them all night! OMG! I had to gasp for air when he told me that! What a HUGE relief! I went back to work wednesday and it's been tough not to mention I'm moving slower than normal, but I'm keeping busy, so my mind's not on it, until I see a baby or pregnant belly. I'm getting on with it and this week's sales have been good. Thanks guys I needed you and you were there! You rock and many blessings to you all! Stay sweet

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