Grr....no More Cakes For Family!
Lounge By Minstrelmiss Updated 21 Sep 2010 , 10:46pm by Minstrelmiss
Seriously?!! Someone's child actually said that and left the restaurant still being able to sit??
WOW.
Ahh.. truer words never spoken !!!! 
minstrel dear.. I looked at your pics.. great looking cakes.. but have you read what you wrote under that adorable cake? 
You wrote that she said you COULD make cakes.. not COULDNT. I was like..huh? why no cakes if she liked it, then I finished reading the post here. LOL
And if the cake bug is still biting you around her birthday next year, I am sure a group home would love a special cake. Some of those kids never had someone bother to make them something so special. And as little miss brat's gift? A little photo album of pics of those kids gobbling up her cake!
WOW!! what a little snot
I am a primary school teacher (elementary for you guys in the U.S) and i recently took on some work 1week of each month in a very affluent area.
I grew up in a household of 7 and was raised to appreciate a lot from the little that we may have had. From things such as getting hand me downs from cousins (which to me-were still "new clothes" for my wardrobe), to being able to share and be greatful for all the things we do have (as all those others out there who dont have anything!!)
anyway i digress,
the children in this class are just like that little girl, they are so pretentious and concerned about show-ponying that it made me go home and question why i had wanted to become a teacher in the first place. I had done my entire degree working internships in local schools and just loved the children, and then Im given this amazing opportuinty to work full week blocks, and i feel that i need to baulk on my degree...i'm not kidding, we had one student retunr from a nine week trip around the world, and when i was questioning him about favourite places or favourite things he saw, he was literally flashing around his boarding pass carrying on about how he went everywhere BUSINESS CLASS... and it turned into this fight of how many hours in business class he would hve flown between him and 75% of the class...i was soooo stunned...what an amazing opportunity to have had at the age of 7 and he was just moer concerned about how much money he spent and how ritzy business class was :O
it took a lot of soul searching for me to step back and say... they are just children, and it is clearly their parents/family influences that have made them like this... it wasn't the WHOLE class, and so, it is unfair for me to judge the remaining 25% of the class who were also from affluent families but had been raised in a much more appreciative manner!
Anyway, i know thats not a cake related tale and i'm sorry to rant.... it just really gets my oven temp rising when people are sooo ungreatful!!
I have gone to great lengths to make cakes for friends and family and have absorbed sooooooo many costs in order to do that, but as long as they give you that genuine thank you.. it just makes your day!
i hope u never have an experience like this again and just keep your chin up, as much as it was a back-handed compliment, implying you didn't have enough skill, clearly, there was a compliment hidden within there...
she just needs some guidance on how to express them in a more sincere fashion LOL
My hubby is a peace keeper as well, but he has learned that I will speak my mind and will be heard no matter what, so now he tends to speak up quickly when his family gets a little rude! You have every right to be irritated, what you should have done was look the mother right in the eye and said, " Do you want to make your daughter say thank you for the cake and apologize for her rude comment or shall I do it!?!!" Staying quite never gets you very far! Sorry this happened, your cakes are quite lovely!
Definately make her another cake for her next birthday.... 2 cups flour, quarter cup cocoa, 250 grams butter, 1 cup of laxative.... 
Definately make her another cake for her next birthday.... 2 cups flour, quarter cup cocoa, 250 grams butter, 1 cup of laxative....
LOL, I second that!
I stopped going to family events for his family. He doesn't want me to say anything, so I come away with a huge headache from keeping my mouth shut. At that point, we had been married about 15 or so years and I knew it was never going to change. After thinking about it, I realized the nasty vibe I must be giving off because I hated being around them. Thus, it was better and happier for all if I didn't attend. I put it on the family calendar, buy the gift/card/whatever that is needed, remind him of the event, and keep my happy butt at home.
Life is good. 
Just curious, how old is this girl? And did the parents hear her say that? If not, I would tell the parents straight up, what she said, and that she will not be getting a cake next year because she obviously doesn't appreciate it.
Gabrielle is 8 years old. Parents said nothing, grandparents neither.
It sounds to me like the girl's comment was a bit of a compliment. She thought the cake was so beautiful it couldn't have been made by someone she actually knows.
As for last year, yes, you should have been thanked profusely for the beautiful work - if not paid.
Nope, she was quite rude and indifferent, especially after all the work that went into her cake last year.
She wanted to have dinner at Ponderosa (yack). We delivered her cake early so it would be a surprise. When they brought the cake out, the family (8 of us total) were crazy about it saying, "Wow! See what happens when you make reservations!" "Look, they even put it on a mirror because the know we own a glass company!" "I can't believe they went out and made a special purchase just for Gabby! I wonder where they bought it from!"
I'm not really sure I understand. Does your husband's brother and wife not know you make cakes? Did you husband not say, "My wife made this cake" I really don't understand how a party of 8 were not told by you or your husband that the Ponderosa didn't make the cake, you did. Is the niece the only one you told about making the cake? I can't even begin to imagine myself in your place and not having someone, me, husband, waitress, say, "Oh, this isn't from the Ponderosa, I made it and delivered it before you arrived so it could be a surprise." Did you get hurt feelings when you told the niece and she said, "no way" and then neither you nor your husband said anything? You could have had the waitress tell them who provided the cake. Not saying they weren't rude--but cannot understand why no one said anything to the other 5 people present beside you, husband, and disbelieving niece.
My father in law knew and my other brother in law figured it out. My mother in law, SIL, and BIL were the ones gushing. My husband was laughing at their ignorance...the waitress spoke up too, letting Gabby know we brought the cake. Gabby still insisted that I couldn't have made that cake.
Seriously?!! Someone's child actually said that and left the restaurant still being able to sit??
WOW.
Ahh.. truer words never spoken !!!!
minstrel dear.. I looked at your pics.. great looking cakes.. but have you read what you wrote under that adorable cake?
You wrote that she said you COULD make cakes.. not COULDNT. I was like..huh? why no cakes if she liked it, then I finished reading the post here. LOL
Thank you for your correction. 
I fixed it.
My hubby is a peace keeper as well, but he has learned that I will speak my mind and will be heard no matter what, so now he tends to speak up quickly when his family gets a little rude! You have every right to be irritated, what you should have done was look the mother right in the eye and said, " Do you want to make your daughter say thank you for the cake and apologize for her rude comment or shall I do it!?!!" Staying quite never gets you very far! Sorry this happened, your cakes are quite lovely!
Thank you for the advice, I needed it. My husband and I have been sat down before for correcting her rude behavior before. I think I will also take the advise of another poster and get real sick next year... *ahem, ahem*
Definately make her another cake for her next birthday.... 2 cups flour, quarter cup cocoa, 250 grams butter, 1 cup of laxative....
No, the mother gets that one... 
My MIL calle dlast night to ask me if there was soething wrong becasue I wasn't my normal self last weekend. I brought up the cake and she said, "Well, she's only 8." I said, "No, she's 8!" Only, what was that about leaving the restaurant still being able to sit? (jentreu) Makes me want to have kids just to show them how it's done.
She wanted to have dinner at Ponderosa (yack). We delivered her cake early so it would be a surprise. When they brought the cake out, the family (8 of us total) were crazy about it saying, "Wow! See what happens when you make reservations!" "Look, they even put it on a mirror because the know we own a glass company!" "I can't believe they went out and made a special purchase just for Gabby! I wonder where they bought it from!"
I'm not really sure I understand. Does your husband's brother and wife not know you make cakes? Did you husband not say, "My wife made this cake" I really don't understand how a party of 8 were not told by you or your husband that the Ponderosa didn't make the cake, you did. Is the niece the only one you told about making the cake? I can't even begin to imagine myself in your place and not having someone, me, husband, waitress, say, "Oh, this isn't from the Ponderosa, I made it and delivered it before you arrived so it could be a surprise." Did you get hurt feelings when you told the niece and she said, "no way" and then neither you nor your husband said anything? You could have had the waitress tell them who provided the cake. Not saying they weren't rude--but cannot understand why no one said anything to the other 5 people present beside you, husband, and disbelieving niece.
My father in law knew and my other brother in law figured it out. My mother in law, SIL, and BIL were the ones gushing. My husband was laughing at their ignorance...the waitress spoke up too, letting Gabby know we brought the cake. Gabby still insisted that I couldn't have made that cake.
Wow, thanks for clearing that up. Years ago, a college professor gave some wonderful advice. He said, I have 2 tips to vastly improve your life and happiness. First, do NOT watch or listen to news which will focus on bad things first thing in the morning, listen to music that pleases you. Second, eliminate the toxic people from your life. Whether it is family, or in-laws, or friends; if the person does not leave you with a good feeling after you have been in their company, stop being around them. Im with Cheatize, stay away. Just be busy making cakes for a lovely customer and unable to attend. Youve had your feelings hurt and that will take a while to heal and will always temper your responses to your 8 year old niece. Im so sorry. Weve all been through this with someone we care for, it is never easy. I hope your husband is a lovely man who will support you in staying away from his family.
I think little Gabby was parroting her mommy--and referencing LAST YEAR'S CAKE.....
How much you wanna' bet that after last year's fete, Gabby's mom told everyone who would listen--and within earshot of Gabby--that "there's NO WAY
Minstrelmiss made a cake that nice!!!"
Fast forward to this year and Gabby is still hearing Mommy saing that, so she just repeats it.
That said, after this year's comments, I'd have forgotten my way to their home for the present distribution............and I wouldn't remember how to get there for a very long time.............
Rae
Your Alice in Wonderland cake was absolutely beautiful so how can they think you couldn't make this? They are ignorant. There's certain extended family that I avoid like the plague. You should do the same.
Staying quite never gets you very far!
AMEN!!! TOTALLY AGREE!
This is the case where that silly line about "If you can't say anything nice, then dont' say anything at all" absolutely does NOT come into play. I absolutely believe in standing up for myself, and Miss Manners can cringe in her column all day long.
In situations like this, my favorite saying is "Nice guys finish last .... and you never find ME at the end of the line!"
I'll let you borrow my family, Minstrelmiss! My inlaws actually. They are very appreciative of my cakes and are now kinda becoming cake snobs. My mother in law even asked once if she could come over and watch me make a cake. She snapped pics while I was working and now she's the first to defend me when conversations turn to cakes. "Oh! I TOTALLY understand why cakes cost so much! I watched my daughter in law make one! You would be amazed how much work goes into one!"
I think little Gabby was parroting her mommy--and referencing LAST YEAR'S CAKE.....
How much you wanna' bet that after last year's fete, Gabby's mom told everyone who would listen--and within earshot of Gabby--that "there's NO WAY
Minstrelmiss made a cake that nice!!!"
Fast forward to this year and Gabby is still hearing Mommy saing that, so she just repeats it.
That said, after this year's comments, I'd have forgotten my way to their home for the present distribution............and I wouldn't remember how to get there for a very long time.............
Rae
I hadn't thought about it like that... Her mom have a culinary degree from a community college (no discredit, my first degree is from one too!) but she can't cook a thing. The cake she made for after Gabby's presents fell apart before it made it to the table. It was a wilton castle kit. The darn thing just toppled over. No one said two words about it.
Apti: While it may not seem that way, my hubby is very supportive. I'm an oldest child (of 6) so the little stunt made my blood boil while he's a youngest so he just let it go...he is the yin to my yang 
Thank you all for your kind words (the mean ones too ) I will not be making Gabby, Mom, or Dad anything again. I'll just send amazing pictures from my husband and mine birthday "Yummy, sorry you missed it!" NOT!
I stopped going to family events for his family. He doesn't want me to say anything, so I come away with a huge headache from keeping my mouth shut. At that point, we had been married about 15 or so years and I knew it was never going to change. After thinking about it, I realized the nasty vibe I must be giving off because I hated being around them. Thus, it was better and happier for all if I didn't attend. I put it on the family calendar, buy the gift/card/whatever that is needed, remind him of the event, and keep my happy butt at home.
Life is good.
I totally understand you there. My hubs and I have been married for 7 years and together for 11. He never defends me when it concerns his family. I detest holidays because I know that I will be around them all. Just to give you a clue, his aunt gave my son a dog biscuit one holiday to eat. My 9 month old, not eating solid food yet (other than rice cereal), sensitive stomach (he was on all kinds of medicine for GERD), no teeth, son a FREAKIN DOG BISCUIT!
I was pissed, but even more pissed when I found out they were from a dog who has been dead for 9 months and she just pulled them out of his CHEW TOY! So dead dog slobber on top of it being freaking dog food. My husband said to me, "oh honey, it was just dog food, protein and fiber." 
I try to stay away from his family as much as I can and I have stopped having holidays at my house.
[quote="Jayde"]
. My husband said to me, "oh honey, it was just dog food, protein and fiber."
Absolutely NOTHING pi$$es me off more than a husband who pats "the little woman" on the head while telling her "There, there ..... just calm down. You're getting all emotional and worked up again over nothing. there, there now."
But especially when it comes to OUR child, and someone doing something like this (dog biscuit? are you freakin' KIDDING ME??????) he wouldn't be a husband very long .... or he wouldn't be one who could brag about manhood anymore!
Just to give you a clue, his aunt gave my son a dog biscuit one holiday to eat.
OK, I don't even know what to say about that - that is absolutely horrible !!!! 
Just to give you a clue, his aunt gave my son a dog biscuit one holiday to eat.
OK, I don't even know what to say about that - that is absolutely horrible !!!!
I'm with you theonlynameleft! (and p.s. I LOVE your online name!)
and Minstrellmiss: So glad to hear you and your husband are yin to each other's yang. That will stand you in good stead with the family dramas in the year's ahead.
Just to give you a clue, his aunt gave my son a dog biscuit one holiday to eat.
OK, I don't even know what to say about that - that is absolutely horrible !!!!
I am dumbfounded by this. What is wrong with her. Sounds like she could be one of those people that tampers with Halloween candy before giving it out. That is absolutely horrifying... more so because she is family!!
I think what the whole thing comes down to is power. OP is the outsider, BUT she has this incredible talent that the family members are obviously jealous of. So they have to exude this power and make you feel bad in order to feel better about themselves. They treat it like its no big deal, when in reality they are seething inside with jealousy.
The mother is either a total moron or thinks way too highly of Ponderosa, because I dont even think you get the free sundae thing at Ponderosa for your birthday, they dont sing either. She HAD to have known that you made the cake, she just chose to snub you for whatever selfish reason.
Shake it off, it isnt worth your time or worry. You are an excellent cake decorator and she or her daughter are not worth your time. Feign being too busy the next time you are asked to make a cake and dont give them the satisfaction of giving away another freebee in the future.
AND in the meantime, keep some dog treats in your pocket, because when that B***** has grandkids, guess who's gonna be providing the snacks?
I think what the whole thing comes down to is power. OP is the outsider, BUT she has this incredible talent that the family members are obviously jealous of. So they have to exude this power and make you feel bad in order to feel better about themselves. They treat it like its no big deal, when in reality they are seething inside with jealousy.
The mother is either a total moron or thinks way too highly of Ponderosa, because I dont even think you get the free sundae thing at Ponderosa for your birthday, they dont sing either. She HAD to have known that you made the cake, she just chose to snub you for whatever selfish reason.
Shake it off, it isnt worth your time or worry. You are an excellent cake decorator and she or her daughter are not worth your time. Feign being too busy the next time you are asked to make a cake and dont give them the satisfaction of giving away another freebee in the future.
I think you nailed it...I am the outsider. They pretend to be this big happy family but really, my husband's brother couldn't care less about his daughter and the mother is too involved covering up messing around behind his back. And yes, she is a total moron. I do really think that they thought the cake was from Pondersosa, just simple minded people...
In the end, while I was offended by Gabby's comment, it wasn't her fault. Her parents are rude, onconciderate people...why should she be different. I told my husband 7 years ago that that child is going to be a BRAT! I wish I wasn't right. 
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