Friend: ''My daughters boyfriend needs cake for his sister."
Me: "Ok sure, but I'm not doing anything elaborate."
Friend: "Ok." Few days later. "He reeeeeally wants this cake for her." Very time consuming cake, but only big enough to feed a couple of people.
Me: "I do not want to do this cake." I reeeeeeally stressed this to friend.
Friend: "You'll get paid good."
Me: Reluctantly, "ok." I really could use the extra money even though the profit still won't be much.
Friend: Few days later. "Turns out my daughter, not her boyfriend will be paying for cake. Since she's family what kind of discount is going to be on the cake." Friends idea of discount usually means free or payng for only half the ingredients.
Maybe you fellow caker's can understand why this upset me, friend did not understand.
too bad you didnt stick to your original answer and kept it as NO!
is there still time to decline this order?
since it looks like there will be no profit or actual money for this cake- say you are booked for that week-end with paid orders.
Tell friend that you can't afford to purchase cakes for everyone you know for every occasion. You have to pay for the ingredients, spend time on the cake and decline other orders. Does friend really expect you to do that? Ugh.. my best friend does that to me every year for her daughter's birthday.. The day before the party, she will say, you know you are making their cake, right? So, it is always my gift to her girls and I don't get them anything else. I also don't bother to make it elaborate as this year, my best friend just let it melt all over the place outside and didn't even care. Ugh.. they just don't understand!
Just say "No".
Can you change it to a simple cake - nothing elaborate since you will not be paid what your time is worth?
This is an example of why I don't do discounts. You ask me to make a cake, you pay for it, full price. I offer to make a cake, it is free.
I would tell said friend, the cake that is such and such big with such and such decorations will cost xyz. If that is more than they are willing to spend, then off to Walmart they can go.
Put your foot down, stand up for yourself, and please do not do this cake for free or at cost. No matter what you say or how upset you tell her you are, if you do the cake for cheap it totally cancels out anything you said and shows her all she has to do is whine and keep asking and you will do it.
Absolutely right, don't let yourself be pushed around and you won't be pushed around. Who cares who's paying for it, this is what it costs. And that's final.
No matter what you say or how upset you tell her you are, if you do the cake for cheap it totally cancels out anything you said and shows her all she has to do is whine and keep asking and you will do it.
I am giving you a standing ovation!! Perfectly said!! Thank you!! This needs to copy and pasted on all threads that deal with friends/family trying to get a cake for free!
Thanks, I did end up saying no to this cake and all other cake request. I just feel the situation may have hurt our friendship. This friend knows I can't afford to give cakes away, but they thought since the daughter was paying instead of the boyfriend then all of a sudden I should do it for free. I didn't agree. The cake was still going to someone I didn't know. This episode and the expectations that the cake should be free just because a friend or a family member made the request, even though the cake is for a friend of a friend of a friend really upset me. I really miss doing cakes, but I'm taking a break until I can really enjoy it again.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I can't help but think that this 'friend' isn't much of a friend if she did that to you. I have my doubts about her story that changes to it is her daughters request now. I have a feeling this friend was not being honest or fair to you. You don't need a friend like that. I have a good friend that I do cakes for and she would never and has never done anything like that. Try not to let this dampen the enjoyment of making cakes. You did well in standing up for yourself. You have to draw the line somewhere.
No matter what you say or how upset you tell her you are, ...if you (do whatever she demands)...it totally cancels out anything you said and shows her all she has to do is whine and keep asking and you will do it.
Good parenting advice, too!
Get new friends.
Sometimes with friends I offer to do it in trade, it helps them understand what they are asking me to do for them.
I had one girl ask me for a cake for her birthday. I knew she had no idea of the cost, and I wasn't up for another freebee, so I suggested we do it in trade. Cake vs babysitting. She had told me once she charges $17 hr for babysitting, no I don't use her. Funny, that's about what I charge per hour to do a cake...hee hee
So a 3 tiered elaborate fondant covered birthday cake for 75 people...lets say $450-500, or about 29 hours of babysitting you own me. Hmmm...boy that spells it out for them.
Self to friend:
"discount.....you wanted the family discount??? I already gave it to you when I quoted you the price earlier"........
"how about we make it in your kitchen and you wash the dishes and dont' worry, the electric bill won't be that much more".........
"here is a list of everything you need to buy so I will be able to make the cake with including the pans"....
"here is a sign up sheet for Michael's/Hobby Lobby's classes"..........
This cracks me up. My hubby equates it to saying "I reeeeeeaaaaalllllyyyyy want a Porsche, I really want it!!!...So, will you sell it to me for the price of a used Hyundai?" People are cheap.
Thanks, I did end up saying no to this cake and all other cake request. I just feel the situation may have hurt our friendship. This friend knows I can't afford to give cakes away, but they thought since the daughter was paying instead of the boyfriend then all of a sudden I should do it for free. I didn't agree.
I'm glad you stood up for yourself. In all honesty if she knows you can't afford to do free cakes, but still pressures you to do it, then she isn't that great of a friend.
I do my best friend's kids cakes for free. Why? Because I enjoy doing them and because I get to play with them. I can do as big or as small as I want. I can play with new techniques. I can pick the design with in the theme. I have free range, and I enjoy that.
She always offers to pay me and I always decline. Why? Because she isn't demanding, nor does she expect me to do it for free. Sometimes it is my gift to the birthday child and sometimes I will also buy them something, either way she is fine with that. And when I dont let her pay she always invites me out to eat and pays for it, so we have our little trade system.
I think it is all in the attitude of people. If you ask for or demand a discount that would make me be sure that you dont get one at all.
And I fully believe that having your time to do what you want with it is much better than doing a cake for someone that doesnt respect you enough to pay what it is worth. Other wise if you did the cake, you would probably be resenting doing it the whole time you were working on it. So find something else to work on, or play with a cake design that you would like to, or stay out of the kitchen for a few days. What ever you choose I bet you will enjoy it a lot more than you would have if you were doing that cake.