Cake For A Memorial Service

Decorating By floral1210 Updated 12 Jan 2013 , 3:12am by FromScratchSF

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floral1210 Posted 11 May 2010 , 5:18pm
post #1 of 14

A friend's sister-in-law lost her sister last week. There has been a cremation, and there is to be a memorial service on Saturday. I have been asked to do a cake..simple vanilla cake with BC frosting and raspberry filling. I was asked to write on the cake, as well. I am not sure I would have anything written on it. She said to do "In Loving Memory of Kathleen", but to me, it goes against my grain. Am I this common? Also, if not that wording, can you think of anything else? Thanks for reading and commenting...

13 replies
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Tclanton Posted 11 May 2010 , 5:59pm
post #2 of 14

I wouldnt worry too much over what they want written on the cake as they are the customer. My opinion, I wouldnt want to write on it either. I would keep the cake simple, elegant and mostly white with maybe pastel yellow highlights. Leaning to the direction of white flowers. I would suggest to my customer instead of writing on the cake, how about a picture of her on the table. Here again, they are the customer and with them being in a grieving period - it would be very hard to change their minds and I am not so sure I would say a thing if I were in your shoes. As long as your customer smiles when you arrive with the cake - then you have completed your mission.

Sorry about this - an awkward position to be in.

Let us all know how you did and post a pic.

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KHalstead Posted 11 May 2010 , 6:06pm
post #3 of 14

I think this tends to be common place, I've been to several funerals where they had sheetcakes and this is almost always what is written on them

In loving memory of....

Or "In remembrance of...."

I think it's completely normal!

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floral1210 Posted 11 May 2010 , 6:09pm
post #4 of 14

Thanks so much. I feel much better about it now. It has not been my experience to see this done, so I am glad to hear that it is commonplace.

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KHalstead Posted 11 May 2010 , 6:19pm
post #5 of 14

the party I find odd is that anyone would be in the mood to eat cake! Maybe it's just me, but the last thing I think about when I'm crying and can hardly catch a breath is "oooh....there's cake"

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jewels710 Posted 11 May 2010 , 6:27pm
post #6 of 14

I too had a request for my own grandmothers celebration of life party...about 8 months after she passed.

The request...In Loving Memory!!!
It was weird to me too...but that is what it said.

PS...Had it been up to me, since it was a celebration of her life, I felt it should have reflected what an awesome 81 year old she was. Oh well.

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floral1210 Posted 11 May 2010 , 6:35pm
post #7 of 14

In thinking about this, I guess what I wonder is does this mean that the CAKE is in memory of her...or something else? I mean, the whole event is a memorial service. Realizing that, is it really necessary to have the cake say something?

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cheatize Posted 11 May 2010 , 6:35pm
post #8 of 14

My preference would be a tent fold card that says "In Loving Memory" on the table in front of the cake and have the type of cake be the deceased's favorite. I'm a sugar hound but I think I would pass on eating a cake that had those words on it.

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HamSquad Posted 11 May 2010 , 6:37pm
post #9 of 14

Just did my first memorial cake last year when my uncle passed away. I was asked by my family to make one. At first it was a bit stressful to make the cake at such a time like that. However, as I started working and putting it together it was a more of a relief from grief. For me, I added things I knew about him, edible pictures and his travel adventures. After I delivered the cake, my Aunt and family thought it was great, it meant a lot to her. From experience. HTH

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fiarella Posted 11 Jan 2013 , 10:15pm
post #10 of 14


I think that a cake is a nice idea.we are all celebrating a life that has a new begining. in other words do what you want to the cake ,keeping it simple ,I think, is best. most people find ways to make this difficult time a bit easier, so I don't see a problem with a cake.I'm having a celebration of life for my moms hubby of forty years, with music they loved, food they enjoyed together, friends in"s fine to grieve ,but a bit of cheer and CAKE is a nice way to say you care. it's not at the funeral, or in the church services, so remember them, laugh , smile, and don't make it so grim. just my thoughts. I know I want people happy and remembering my silly ways when i go. don't cry for me be glad. I'm in a better place. please ,we tend to feel sorrow and grief, instead of the good things we've shared.'s not a pity party, it a celebration of LIFE. don't be so serious is my motto. that's how we would want it ,right?

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pinkbutterfly Posted 11 Jan 2013 , 10:55pm
post #11 of 14

I have done two memorial cakes for two family members. The first for my husband's grandmother had a picture of her with the words in loving memory, her name and dates.  Nobody was offended and everyone ate cake.  It wasn't a celebration of her death but a celebration of her life.  The second one was for a younger woman who did not survive cancer. I also had her picture and I adorned the cake with pink and white roses per the request of her husband. It was quite beautiful as was she.  Again, no offense to anyone.  If the cake is requested, it is because the family feels that it is appropriate. It is not to celebrate the death because who does that? but to celebrate the life and honor the person and they deserve to be honored with a cake just as if they were alive.  I have attached a photo. The photo is not very great because I had to use my cell phone.  It was very beautiful in person and her husband loved it.  HTH. God Bless.

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-K8memphis Posted 11 Jan 2013 , 10:59pm
post #12 of 14

very beautiful and very sad

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imagenthatnj Posted 11 Jan 2013 , 11:15pm
post #13 of 14

So crazy...This photo link led me to this thread.


Oh well. I've reported it.


By the way, when my friend died from cancer at 48 years old, we we were invited to a brunch right after the funeral. Lots of family members and close friends. You wouldn't know what we were there for. There was lots of noise, even laughs. It was a little strange at the beginning, but I think she probably told her children she wanted it that way.

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FromScratchSF Posted 12 Jan 2013 , 3:12am
post #14 of 14

What is UP with the newbies replying to posts from YEARS ago?  Seriously driving me batty.


Hey regular members, before replying to threads make sure you take a look at the date they originally posted.

Quote by @%username% on %date%