Give Them An Inch And They Take A Mile

Decorating By cathyscakes Updated 19 Apr 2010 , 3:12am by mamawrobin

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cathyscakes Posted 18 Apr 2010 , 7:14pm
post #1 of 17

A relative of my husband is getting married. I told her I would do her cake and she said she wanted a two tiered cake, since that is all they would need, they are doing a dessert bar too.

She then decided on a four tiered cake. Its based on Rylan's birds nest cake on cc. His cake is so perfect and its going to be a challenge for me, out of my confort zone, I always want to do the same kind of cakes, so this is new.
She wanted to know the price so I said I would do it for $100.00, just covering my cost for ingredients.

She got so excited with the price, and said since its so low, I'd like a grooms cake too. What... And then begins to tell me her elaborate idea for a grooms cake. Two tiered cake with molded people and a dog, hunting, I couldn't believe it. I'm doing her this favor and she ran with it.

I'll never learn. I'm up to 4 free wedding cakes for the summer, I have way too many relatives.

16 replies
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mamawrobin Posted 18 Apr 2010 , 7:20pm
post #2 of 17

You're going to be busy this summer icon_lol.gif Did you offer to do the groom's cake for free? I was curious because you said that you offered to do the two tiered wedding cake for free. If you didn't OFFER to do the groom's cake for free I wouldn't.

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prterrell Posted 18 Apr 2010 , 8:00pm
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I hope you're not giving any of these cake recipients presents/gift cheques on top of the cakes. The cakes themselves are HUGE presents. Make sure they know they are geting THOUSAND dollar cakes for basically free. And don't feel obligated to do the groom's cake, too. Just tell her that you won't have time to do 2 cakes and stick to your guns.

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indydebi Posted 18 Apr 2010 , 8:21pm
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"Sure, sweetie! I can do a four-tier cake for you. THe cost of the four tier cake is $1000 and 2 of the tiers are free, like we talked about earlier, so the remaining 2 tiers will only (be sure to use the word "ONLY") cost you $600. Groom's cake? Oh no problem! A 2-tier groom's cake runs about $150 but with all the bell's and whistles you want, yours will probably be about $250. But since you're SUCH a great relative (yeah, there's sarcasm in there!) I'll discount it to the $150 for you. Anything else I can help with?" icon_twisted.gif

I always teased my relatives (who were all appreciative and nothing like your relative icon_wink.gif ) "No one ELSE you know is giving you a $700 wedding gift! icon_lol.gif "

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neelycharmed Posted 18 Apr 2010 , 8:37pm
post #5 of 17

I have stopped giving free cakes to family, I had to or I would go broke.
So I charge everyone; I felt guilty at first but that quickly passed...
Everyone wanted a really cool cake for a really cool $0
Hope your cake turns out great, But remember to put your foot down..
Jodi icon_smile.gif

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Occther Posted 18 Apr 2010 , 8:51pm
post #6 of 17

Cathy: I totally sympathize with you. Have done the same thing. I used to charge a flat rate for wedding cakes for relatives & friends just to cover costs. Until a "friend" took advantage and doubled the size of the cake after I had quoted a price. Now, I charge a per serving rate - still dirt cheap - but at least the more they want, the more they pay.

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tarheelgirl Posted 18 Apr 2010 , 8:53pm
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Ughhh.. I just had a cousin call me whom I've not talked to in about 10 years! She wants a wedding cake for her daughter.. so I'm thinking she was thought it would be free or cost hardly nothing! I got my price sheet out and told her this is how much I normally charge and this is what your cake will cost with a 35% family discount. This was last week! Still have not heard back. I really not going cry over it! icon_biggrin.gif Family are the 1st ones to take advantage of their "cake baker family member". I still have an uncle that owes me $50. Have I learned my lesson.. heck yes!! No more cake for family unless they pay me before hand.

Good luck with your weddings this summer! I agree.. you have to put your foot down sooner or later. thumbs_up.gif

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cathyscakes Posted 18 Apr 2010 , 10:38pm
post #8 of 17

Thanks everyone, some day I will grow a backbone. No we haven't discussed her paying for the grooms cake. I'm sure she thinks if I can do a 4 tiered cake for the cost of ingredients, its the same for the grooms cake. You would think I would learn, its happened to me many times.

A friend of my daughter got married several years ago, sang her tune about not having any money for cakes. I did 11 8" table cakes. Each cake was a different flavor, and different designs. It was quite a feat for me to do.

The mother picked up the cakes with hardly a thank you, she was in such a hurry and didn't have time for chit chat. After all that work and no pay, I guess you expect a little more. There are people like that, and then there are some that are so thankful.

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CeeTee Posted 18 Apr 2010 , 11:04pm
post #9 of 17
Originally Posted by cathyscakes

Thanks everyone, some day I will grow a backbone. No we haven't discussed her paying for the grooms cake. I'm sure she thinks if I can do a 4 tiered cake for the cost of ingredients, its the same for the grooms cake. You would think I would learn, its happened to me many times.

Grow that backbone Today. Better yet, grow it Yesterday. For Serious. The reason it happens so many times has NOTHING to do with anyone else. With that attitude, it will continue on and you will have no right to complain about people you allow to walk all over you.

Go back and tell her the $100 is ONLY for the two-tier she originally wanted. Period End Of Discussion. If you want you can say it was just to cover cost of ingredients. and since she wants more stuff now, the price will adjust accordingly. It's NOT "You can have whatever you want for $100". It IS "This is what I am willing to do for $100."

If she throws a fit and you cave to 'keep the peace', then you are NOT under any circumstances allowed to be upset with her over it and you should NOT search for sympathy for your plight. It is not worth stressing yourself out and going broke over.

I may be sounding a little harsh, but I have been in your shoes. It took a rather curt, non-sugar coated verbal backhanding from more than one of my friends to finally get it through my thick skull that Nice is not the same as Doormat. Hold your ground, I know you can do it! thumbs_up.gif (if I can grow a spine, then ANYONE can do it!)

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AngelaM Posted 18 Apr 2010 , 11:10pm
post #10 of 17

I would tell her since you'll be busy doing her 4 tier cake, you won't have the time to do a groom's cake too.

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CakeGenie1 Posted 18 Apr 2010 , 11:13pm
post #11 of 17

Cee Tee, well said!

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UpAt2am Posted 18 Apr 2010 , 11:19pm
post #12 of 17

i guess i still don't understand how family members have the nerve to ask or assume that they'll get a free cake! my family, more than any one, knows how hard i work and would never want to downplay what i do.

if i choose to give a discount, it's my choice, but no one gets a free cake from me. i just can't do it...too many other orders and i'm not going to put myself in a position to resent them (and i know i would no matter how bad i tried not to).

when your family knows how hard you work and how much you spend in time, effort, ingredients, etc., they should never ask/expect a free cake.

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mamawrobin Posted 18 Apr 2010 , 11:29pm
post #13 of 17

CeeTee I totally agree with you. I ask in my previous post if the $100.00 wasn't the charge for ingredients on the TWO-tiered cake. Since she wants a four-tiered does she honestly expect to get that for the same price? icon_eek.gif family is the same way as yours. None of them would ever ask for a free cake. My cousin gave me an extra $15.00 for her daughter's cake just because she liked it so much.

cathyscakes...stop letting people take advantage of you thumbs_up.gif

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Rhonda19 Posted 19 Apr 2010 , 1:55am
post #14 of 17

I am a newbie... just making cakes still for family and a few friends, but even so they all pay me. I am making a grooms cake for my neice, and my sister is wanting to buy all the ingredients, plus wants to pay me. but, .. for this one, I am doing it totally free. Its part of my wedding gift.

I do have a family member though, who is always trying to get me to bake free cakes for her friends. One of them loved my cake, and wanted one for her husband. When I quoted the price, she decided she didn't need one after all.....(LOL)

Wish you luck!!!

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sugarspice Posted 19 Apr 2010 , 2:06am
post #15 of 17

I try to keep this phrase in mind....No one can take advantage of you unless you let them. It helps me say no, or up the price when I know it is going to be a time consuming cake. I don't like spending hours/days on cake and then feeling taken advantage of!

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JenniferAtwood Posted 19 Apr 2010 , 2:16am
post #16 of 17

When was the last time my Uncle gave me a free car from his dealership? NEVER When will I give away my free time to help him out because he is cheep? NEVER

I once did a friends cake for her gift because she didn't have lots of cash and I really wanted to do a new design that she loved. Walked in and the booze alone cost 8 grand. Now who was the stupid one? ME

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mamawrobin Posted 19 Apr 2010 , 3:12am
post #17 of 17

I've seen this so many times. People will stress how hard up for cash they are and say that they just don't have the money for a wedding cake. Then come to find out the dress cost $10,000.00, they gave very expensive gifts to each member of the wedding party, or like Jennifer said $8,000.00 for booze.

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