I really just need to tell someone so that this doen't really just eat me up and keep me pi$$ed off for more days than I have already been.
On 10/10 had our dd's wedding - great day!! Husband's family lives out of state so MIL comes in on 10/8 and stays till 10/23. (She was the only one from his side of the family - but that's another vent!!!) Okay been a few years since we saw her. Stays at our house. She helps out around the house laundry and dishes while we are at work. Which is nice and greatly appreciated since I was way behind at work having taken off for a week for wedding.
BBBUUUTTTT! She also proceeded to go through all of our drawers and cupboards - and I mean all of them. I just don't mean kitchen cupboards I mean personal drawers in our bedroom!!!! So far not a room in the house was safe from her!!! She went through a box of receipts and stuff that I had to go through for taxes!! She went through bank statements!!
Soooo how do I know she went through everything?!?!? She re-organized everything!!!! Can you believe this!???? Never in my life would I ever think of going through someones personal items in their house and on top of that re-organizing their drawers, night stand, box of receipts!!!!!
I don't even look through things at my own mothers house or even my own daughters houses!!! I mean growing up, I didn't even go into my parents room, it was considered private let alone their drawers. And now we never go into any room unless I was invited to do so!!!
I mean my mother was in our house for two days doing some sewing for the wedding - no one else was home - she never went through anything in the house- other than the living room, kitchen and bathroom she didn't go into the rest of the house.
Can't talk to hubby about it, he just shruggs, says not much he can do now. But I am MAD as H**L!! And to boot, rest of his family 3 sisters and brother never bothered to send wedding gifts!! Couldn't come cuz it would cost too much - but 3 of them just took vacations a couple weeks before to the coast and other fun locations!!
Could go on but this is way too long now!!! Thanks!
Nah, no confrontation necessary. Since your husband wants to be a wuss and shrug off her crappy behavior, you get to say "she doesn't stay here ever again." If you really need to explain why, perhaps some marriage counseling is in order.
Damn, did I just channel Dr. Laura, or what? 
No confrontation! I knew about some when she was here - kitchen etc., but not until she was gone did I find out about the bedroom and the reciepts box.
Maybe next time I should make her digging interesting - some good magazines (if you know the kind!) or maybe a personal note saying keep out of my stuff you bi***!
Or buy a bunch of HUGE dildos and stash them in interesting places around the house (like the receipts box!)
Fantastic.
My mom used to come over when I was first married, and she would head straight for my bedroom closet. I don't know what she was expecting to find (there weren't any HUGE ones, just a few medium-sized 
). We put a lock on the bedroom door.
Anyhow, it sounds like MIL has some OCD issues that might go beyond normal nosiness.
Man I totally feel your pain because thats something my grandmother would have done to my mother- and is the reason my parents moved to another continent after they had me.
See I can be very mean spirited, so just to make her feel horrible about it,
I would call her and ask her if she saw such and such paper (just make up something that might be super important, like your getting audited and you need a specific receipt that was at the top of the receipt box and now is gone) and "since you reorganized all of my private stuff I was wondering if you remember where you put it??, without it we might get fined lots of money by the irs"
That way shes knows you know, and she knows that what she did might cause you problems.
Then again my other half would have ripped his mother a new one if she did that, then again we wouldn't have let her stay at our place 2 weeks- can hardly handle a full day of her.
I don't see her as having ocd- people that have ocd and have respect for other people and their belonging still wouldn't do that kind of thing. They might do the kitchen but they wouldn't invade a married couple's private bedroom.
Mothers that do that kind of thing have control issues and refuse to let go of the umbilical cord and think that they are entitled to do whatever they want.
My mom used to come over when I was first married, and she would head straight for my bedroom closet. I don't know what she was expecting to find (there weren't any HUGE ones, just a few medium-sized
). We put a lock on the bedroom door.
I say that people who snoop deserve whatever they find. I would totally plant all kinds of crazy stuff around my house: kinky, fetish porn, devil worshiping books, swastikas, etc. Nothing illegal, just the kinds of things that make people REEEEEALY uncomfortable. Then when she started acting weird around me, I'd tell her how much I appreciated her arranging all of my dildos in size order.
Hey, if she wants to clean, at least make it interesting, right? I'd have the house a total wreck when she got there. She can then clean to her heart's content. But I'd also padlock my bedroom and office doors.
Actually, I'd padlock the house. I'd go ballistic if someone rearranged my KITCHEN! 
Or buy a bunch of HUGE dildos and stash them in interesting places around the house (like the receipts box!)
That is exactly what I was thinking!
See I can be very mean spirited, so just to make her feel horrible about it,
I would call her and ask her if she saw such and such paper (just make up something that might be super important, like your getting audited and you need a specific receipt that was at the top of the receipt box and now is gone) and "since you reorganized all of my private stuff I was wondering if you remember where you put it??, without it we might get fined lots of money by the irs"
That way shes knows you know, and she knows that what she did might cause you problems.
This is SO what I would love to do!
But I will confess that Mensch's dildo idea went thru my head first! Add some handcuffs and a leather whip and then watch her run! Oh! Oh! Oh! Put some black hosery, garter belts and a corset in a box marked "Husband's Play Clothes!" (Geesh, I just crack me up sometimes!)
Thanks guys!!! Mental imagery is great!!! But I would just die before I could go into a store and buy any!!!!
Won't be saying anything to her - Thank God she lives over 1200 miles away!! My hubby is pretty much considered the black sheep so don't what to make it too strained between him and her. She favors his brother over every other child in the family - very openly in fact!! We are definitely the black sheep - I mean I actually made him move to another state!!! (Oh it was his idea by the way!)
But will keep all of the ideas - she may be back in May for son's high school graduation. Secretly hope not, but for my son's sake would like her to be here, though I'm not sure he really cares.
I just hope I am never a MIL like she is!!!!!
I just hope I am never a MIL like she is!!!!!
You took the words right out of my mouth......I always say I will try my hardest to not give my "someday future" DIL the stress that my MIL has inflicted on my family. ughhhh the woman gives MIL a bad name.
My late Mom was the best MIL....she never meddled in any of our affairs and all 7 of my brother/sisters in law called her Mom and loved her dearly. Hopefully I'll be that type of MIL.
Thanks guys!!! Mental imagery is great!!! But I would just die before I could go into a store and buy any!!!!
I just hope I am never a MIL like she is!!!!!
You can order online if you ever decide to allow her back in your house.
I don't have the same issues with my MIL but I have some and I hope to be far more reasonable than she is.
Hey, if she wants to clean, at least make it interesting, right?
I'd have the house a total wreck when she got there. She can then clean to her heart's content. But I'd also padlock my bedroom and office doors.Actually, I'd padlock the house. I'd go ballistic if someone rearranged my KITCHEN!
My sister did that, when she came to stay with my daughter while I was having my baby. She totally rearranged my kitchen and I kicked her butt out as soon as I saw what she had done...not very nice of me considering she took off from work to babysit Valerie for a few days. I spent a couple days putting everything back where it went and a couple years apologizing for the tantrum. 
My grandmother used to come to visit and rearrange my mother's kitchen. My mother just let her do it then put everything back where it started once she left. She said that she'd learned it was no use to complain.
And the dildo thing mgiht not work, depending on the MIL. One of my co-workers came to work all skeezed out one day, and told us that her mother had called her to say that she'd bought a new dildo, and DID SHE WANT THE OLD ONE because it was still "perfecty good." 
I had a problem with someone going through my personal papers not long ago, so I left a note in with the same pile of papers that said "Mind your own EFFING business." Don't have the problem anymore.
WHAT is the deal with MIL's anyway? Is there some PITA Academy that they all secretly attend before their first child is married? I too hope that I'm not as crazy/strange/insane as some of them.
Thanks guys!!! Mental imagery is great!!! But I would just die before I could go into a store and buy any!!!!
Oh you can get them online. They ship 'em in unmarked packages. Uh .... um .... so I've heard.
LOL - but that would be the only pkg hubby would open!!!
Oh she did rearrage stuff in the kitchen - but she was smart and stayed away from the all cake stuff!! She's been here before when I was decorating cakes - I'm a total bi*** when it comes to someone in my way in the kitchen when I'm decorating!!! So she's seen that side of me.
You know the funny thing is her house is the messiest one around used to hate to take the kids over when they were little. So there is OCD thing about cleaning it's strickly being nosey!
And the dildo thing mgiht not work, depending on the MIL. One of my co-workers came to work all skeezed out one day, and told us that her mother had called her to say that she'd bought a new dildo, and DID SHE WANT THE OLD ONE because it was still "perfecty good."
You have a very good point. My mother would be more likely to ask us if we liked the toy so she knows if she should get it. She has actually been known to offer to lend her naughty movies to some of my siblings.
She's a model MIL though and our spouses like her, the only complaints are the same ones we have because we do not want to hear about the things our parents do in the bedroom and she's a little too open.
This is a fun thread to read, but I can understand how frustrating it must feel for you. Especially to not have your husband's support. (It would be nice to hear him tell her all the things posted here...)
I am wondering who she thinks she is and how disrespectful of her. We have family far away also and when I was due with my third baby my mother came to us for three weeks (from over seas) to live with us. We don't have people going through our stuff but we (my husband and I) keep certain things in our tall dresser that we don't want our kids to find. But we actually took these out before my mom came and moved them to a safer place... which was good because she ended up helping us with our laundry.
My parents had my dad's mother living with them for many, MANY years until she passed away. She loooooooved to snoop & would try to use the 'oh, I was just trying to help you out by straightening up' routine.
After being told more than once to stay out of their room, my parents bought a heavy duty lock for their bedroom door & would lock EVERYthing they wanted to keep private in their room.
So, she was free to roam (& snoop) everywhere else in the house, but if they weren't there, their bedroom was locked.
And the dildo thing mgiht not work, depending on the MIL. One of my co-workers came to work all skeezed out one day, and told us that her mother had called her to say that she'd bought a new dildo, and DID SHE WANT THE OLD ONE because it was still "perfecty good."
Wow. There's just some stuff you don't want second-hand from your mother.
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