Venting

Lounge By mbelgard Updated 1 Nov 2009 , 9:16pm by cabecakes

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-K8memphis Posted 27 Oct 2009 , 3:51pm
post #31 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by KKC

Quote:
Originally Posted by michellenj

I'm going to buy a bottle of valerian today. Thanks for the suggestion.



Me too!!! How quickly does it start to take effect because my MIL has a bad habit of just "popping up" to my house?! icon_cry.gif




Depends on how much (food) you got in your tummy--it doesn't take long--just don't drive. Like if necessary I get where I'm going then take one--then I'll drive after four hours of being there. If I gotta take two I don't go nowhere. icon_lol.gif pass the bottle, Mike.

No but seriously--some food in you slows it a bit but that's not a bad thing. I avoid caffeine so I don't bounce kwim.

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ShelleyMJ Posted 27 Oct 2009 , 3:52pm
post #32 of 44

I am so happy to see there are other "Jerry Springer" families out there.

I made it very clear to my family in Tampa, I will be staying home this year. No one has come to see me in 2 yrs so we decided a nice quiet holiday season is our gift.

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Ruth0209 Posted 27 Oct 2009 , 3:55pm
post #33 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by KHalstead

...Oh, we just informed the kids that instead of getting presents this year (since they have broken or lost just about everything they got last year) that we are going to go back to the same homeless shelter and give away presents to the kids there, the presents that would have gone to them. Not one of my kids flinched, they all agreed it was fair!! Poor things, I still haven't told them that they would still get something! lol They're such great kids sometimes, you forget how unselfish kids can be until you say something like that to them and realize that their reaction is genuine!




They sound like really great kids! Nice job!!

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costumeczar Posted 27 Oct 2009 , 4:14pm
post #34 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by KKC

Quote:
Originally Posted by michellenj

I'm going to buy a bottle of valerian today. Thanks for the suggestion.



Me too!!! How quickly does it start to take effect because my MIL has a bad habit of just "popping up" to my house?! icon_cry.gif




There's a better cure than valerian for that, it's called "changing your locks." icon_wink.gif

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sadsmile Posted 27 Oct 2009 , 4:19pm
post #35 of 44

When I was a kid and my cousins were kids my mom's family would all come together for every big holiday. Grandparents, in laws, neighbors and close friends all together like 50 people.
It seamed as though everyone was happy and got along and us kids played for hours. Great food and nice to stay connected.
But as I grew up I started listening to the disfuncional conversations and could see the backstabbing as it was playing out. Things grew tense and all of us kids were growing up so no need to pretend anymore. Less and less came over time.
And now it's something they do just for their Mom, my Grandmother. But no one is truly gracious or just wants to see you. It seems totally fake and a big bother because of all the clean up work-even though most of it is done by many hands immediately following dinner.
No one sticks around for hours afterwards anymore. as soon as they have helped clean up they are gone like the wind. How sad.

But after recently overhearing myself as the topic of not so nice conversation behind me(seriously right behind my back!!!) I have no inclination to be around them anymore. What the heck did I do to these people but put on our best clothes and best attitudes and come...? I have better friends then my family who gossip less and are geniunly happy when you succeed. Who needs that stress!

It all started when my husbands parents decided to be present for a change and we stayed at home with out kids and had dinner at our house with them. Its honestly hard to take young children to other peoples houses that dont baby proof or remove costly valuables from the side tables and warn you that That cost over $500 dollars so dont let them near it. Yeah what fun chase around your toddlers and make sure they dont touch anything. Which yeah, of course that is being a mom of small children. But, doing under the scrutinizing eyes with warning glances that just put me off when an item like that could be just as easily knocked off by a much to happy and tipsy guest. And then our eating habits are much different and it is way too much of an inconvenience to omit things we are allergic to from the menu. They would say yeah sure and then forget leaving us next to nothing to eat but the dish we brought. So with that we started staying home more and going once a year instead of 5 times. It was easier cooking and enjoying a complete meal at home. And now we are the bad guys who dont care. Whatever.
Why does family always have to give you a hard time for everything?

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KKC Posted 27 Oct 2009 , 5:19pm
post #36 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar

Quote:
Originally Posted by KKC

Quote:
Originally Posted by michellenj

I'm going to buy a bottle of valerian today. Thanks for the suggestion.



Me too!!! How quickly does it start to take effect because my MIL has a bad habit of just "popping up" to my house?! icon_cry.gif



There's a better cure than valerian for that, it's called "changing your locks." icon_wink.gif




Oh she does not have a key to my place lol...I guess thats a good thing!

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Texas_Rose Posted 27 Oct 2009 , 5:27pm
post #37 of 44

If valerian doesn't do it for you, there's always kava kava. I take a supplement called "Serenity" when my leg pain gets to be too intense.

K8, does the smell of the valerian ever bother you? I bought some before and tried taking it but it smelled like a$$ in the worst way. Did I get a bad batch or something?

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Ruth0209 Posted 27 Oct 2009 , 5:30pm
post #38 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by KKC

Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar

Quote:
Originally Posted by KKC

Quote:
Originally Posted by michellenj

I'm going to buy a bottle of valerian today. Thanks for the suggestion.



Me too!!! How quickly does it start to take effect because my MIL has a bad habit of just "popping up" to my house?! icon_cry.gif



There's a better cure than valerian for that, it's called "changing your locks." icon_wink.gif



Oh she does not have a key to my place lol...I guess thats a good thing!




When I found out my MIL had learned my SIL's key to her garage door, I told my husband I would kill him with my bare hands if he gave ours to her!! Fortunately, he agrees wholeheartedly. His mom would go to his sister's house and snoop around when she wasn't home. Unreal. We just like to say she has "boundary issues". How's that for the understatement of the decade!? icon_mad.gif

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KKC Posted 27 Oct 2009 , 5:59pm
post #39 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth0209

Quote:
Originally Posted by KKC

Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar

Quote:
Originally Posted by KKC

Quote:
Originally Posted by michellenj

I'm going to buy a bottle of valerian today. Thanks for the suggestion.



Me too!!! How quickly does it start to take effect because my MIL has a bad habit of just "popping up" to my house?! icon_cry.gif



There's a better cure than valerian for that, it's called "changing your locks." icon_wink.gif



Oh she does not have a key to my place lol...I guess thats a good thing!



When I found out my MIL had learned my SIL's key to her garage door, I told my husband I would kill him with my bare hands if he gave ours to her!! Fortunately, he agrees wholeheartedly. His mom would go to his sister's house and snoop around when she wasn't home. Unreal. We just like to say she has "boundary issues". How's that for the understatement of the decade!? icon_mad.gif




His family knows nothing about boundaries. I had gotten so pissed off at my husband last week because on Tuesday, his mom and brother came here (I didn't know they were coming) so I'm cooking and his mom is in my damn kitchen and I hate it when people are in the kitchen while I'm cooking and the to top it all of she began COUGHING WITHOUT COVERING HER MOUTH icon_mad.gificon_mad.gificon_mad.gif I lost it...it took him outside and told him that if he didn't get that lady out of my kitchen and out of my way he would be going home with her permanately. So he found some kind of excuse for her to leave the kitchen. I purposely took my time cooking so that they wouldn't think they were invited to dinner but that didn't work they stayed until I finished. I made some banana bars w/cream cheese frosting (my husbands favorite) so she asked me kind I was making so I said "banana bars" and she's in a disgusted voice "yuck banana bars"...so I'm like good then there will be more for us. When I went in the room she thought I couldn't hear her and she told me husband (yes told, not ask) give me half of those so I can take home icon_surprised.gificon_eek.gificon_mad.gif. I made a 12x18 pan of banana bars and my husband himself would eat half of the pan in about 10 mins.

Ugh...we've been talking for the past few weeks about moving out of town, not just to get away from family but because there are better opportunities in the area we are trying to move to.

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Pookie59 Posted 30 Oct 2009 , 3:16pm
post #40 of 44

All I can add is that if my MIL were still alive, I would no longer be married to her son. She was a critical, controlling, obnoxious, rude PITA who made my early years of marriage a living h*ll!

However, her story is a real example of "what goes around, comes around". Probably 10 years after my husband I married, my MIL developed a mental illness (paranoid brain disorder), was convinced that people (including her spouse) were trying to kill her, distanced herself from her family, refused to follow her doctor's advice and eventually took her own life. It was a terrible end for her (not something I would wish on anyone).

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indydebi Posted 30 Oct 2009 , 4:07pm
post #41 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pookie59

However, her story is a real example of "what goes around, comes around".



I had an uncle who was a germ-o-phobe long before the term existed. He was always afraid he was "gonna KETCH sumthin!" Family legend has it that my grandmother (I was 3 when she died) used to always predict "That man will die of a terrible disease!" because of his big fear of "ketchin' sumthin!"

He did, too.

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Texas_Rose Posted 30 Oct 2009 , 4:13pm
post #42 of 44

My family has more than it's fair share of strange...my sister is the germ-o-phobe (leaves wet paper towels over all the faucets in the house, plus wears a thin jacket all the time so she can use it to touch doorknobs.) My dad is a paranoid schizophrenic. He thinks it's the aliens that are after him though, not any of us.

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cabecakes Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 8:53pm
post #43 of 44

My husband has 3 children from a previous marriage (all grown with families now), so a controlling ex into the mix and whoop de doo ain't life grand for the holidays. This was my solution. Thanksgiving, we did ours the weekend before, ex got every other holiday, grandparents got visited with grandchildren the opposite year as the ex on Thanksgiving day. Anyone wishing to see our kids should plan on attending then. Christmas Eve...alternating with ex...opposite years both grandparents. Christmas Day ours (Excepting the years with the ex). We had no big meal on Christmas...I baked a ham, we had sandwiches, some trail bologna, cheese, crackers, cheeseball, cookies whatever (Snacked around). When the kids got older with kids of their own it was...aaaahhhh just stop by whenever you want. We'll be here. His kids appreciated this so much, because it meant they were free to traverse from all the places they needed to be. Until, they all decided to set down their own tradition. Which was, we're spending Thanksgiving and Christmas with our families. If you want to stop by no problem. We will not be serving food for anyone but us, because it's our family day. We still all get together the week before. When people insist on turning the holidays into a hassle, it isn't enjoyable for anyone. So what is there to be Thankful for it that. My advice for OP is to set down your own "family tradition", if IL's live that close...they can come visit after dinner.

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cabecakes Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 9:16pm
post #44 of 44

I can honestly say that here, we don't have the drama. I won't allow it. My rule about the holiday is, if you want to come fine, if you don't want to come fine. They always come. We have 18 people in our immediate family (husband, wife, children, grandchildren). We also usually have friends that want to come over for the holidays. We get together and play cards, ping pong, spoons, board games. We have a blast. I think the only reason we have a blast is because everyone wants to be there. If they didn't they wouldn't come, because they are not ORDERED to do so. Honestly, start your own family traditions with your children now and DAMNED anyone who doesn't like it. These are your children and your family.

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