Cake To Bake Tomorrow, Don't Want To Bake Through My Grief

Decorating By Carolynlovescake Updated 22 Oct 2009 , 1:49pm by stephaniescakenj

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Carolynlovescake Posted 22 Oct 2009 , 2:54am
post #1 of 16

We got a call on the 8th that my DH's brother (John) had been murdered by John's friend/business partner the night before. (My BIL but I have always called him brother because we are all close and don't use the "in law" term with each other).

It's been an awful couple of weeks (his death was two weeks ago at 5:15pm).

We are gathering in the town he lived in this weekend for a memorial service.

DH's sister is having her 26th wedding anniversary on Friday as well and I was asked if I could do the cake for it. Of course I said yes because she and her husband are absolutely awesome and it's the least I could do for her. She's been the strong one this last two weeks. I'm the one she's turning to at night when she's weary.

So tomorrow I turn on my ovens to do their cakes.

I don't have the inspiration for it though.

I am going to do an 8, 6, and 4 inch round. 8 inch chocolate, 6 inch white, and 4 inch either in lemon or strawberry. They will be covered in fondant and that's about all I have come up with.

I'm putting both kids to bed in 3 minutes and then starting on the flowers for the cake. We'll see what I come up with tonight.


Grief sucks.

15 replies
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justducky Posted 22 Oct 2009 , 3:00am
post #2 of 16

I am so sorry you have to go through this. There are no words for such a tragedy. Hugs

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Rebealuvsweets Posted 22 Oct 2009 , 3:01am
post #3 of 16

I am so sorry for your loss. God bless u and your family. I know that it has to be very hard to be creative when u are not feeling up to it. Take care...

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prterrell Posted 22 Oct 2009 , 3:03am
post #4 of 16

Maybe having a project to focus will be thereaputic, though.

So sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

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dorie67 Posted 22 Oct 2009 , 3:07am
post #5 of 16

I am so sorry for your tragic loss, words can not describe what you and your family have had to endure, I hope that having a project will bring some comfort to you during this terrible time. Hugs to you and yours. princess.gif

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patticakesnc Posted 22 Oct 2009 , 3:15am
post #6 of 16

My heart goes out to you. The cake may help you to pull your mind away though. I know last May when my husband ended up back in the hospital (he died 3 times in March and has had major heart problems) we didn't know if he would make it. It was Mother's day while he was in (in for a week but during that week). I did come home and do the Mother's day cake for my mom that I wanted to do, it did help me a great deal. I didn't think I had it in me either but the distraction was great for the few hours it took.


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Loucinda Posted 22 Oct 2009 , 12:31pm
post #7 of 16

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Hopefully immersing yourself in doing the cakes for someone else you care for will help give you some peace. I am so sorry for your loss.

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asanchez Posted 22 Oct 2009 , 12:49pm
post #8 of 16

My sincerest condolences go to you and your loved ones!!

Memories of the happy times will keep you strong!!

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kaykakes Posted 22 Oct 2009 , 1:03pm
post #9 of 16

my thoughts and prayers are with you. Sorry for your loss. My youngest grandaughter turned 8 in July and I almost pulled my hair out doing my first topsy turvey cake for her. The night before her party her mom and stepdad of 7 months came by he was always crazy about my cakes his favorite word for them was awesome. He took a picture with phone. They left and the party was set for the next day Sat. he had rented the big jumpy house and all for her bacause he really wanted her to have a big party, That morning he got up to cut the grass before they delivered the house and fell out on the driveway he died in my daughters arms in front of both the kids. He was only 35, we still had her birthday that day because he had worked so hard to make sure she would have a big one. That is the only thing that kept us going knowing how important it was to him. So even though you may have a heavy heart I am sure he supported you in your passion just let your love for him shine in your work.

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ttehan4 Posted 22 Oct 2009 , 1:07pm
post #10 of 16

Im so sorry to hear about your families tragedy. Your family probably needs an evening together to celebrate something good to help you all start to overcome the grief. Im sure you will find inspiration for your cake and your SIL will appreciate what ever you come up with. God Bless.

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floral1210 Posted 22 Oct 2009 , 1:22pm
post #11 of 16

Let me echo the others with my sincere and heartfelt condolences for the loss you and your family are having to bear. I can't imagine having to hear those awful words! If you find the strength to give everyone what they need to get through this, you will find that you have the inspiration to go on.

Hugs to all.

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-K8memphis Posted 22 Oct 2009 , 1:26pm
post #12 of 16

God bless you and family very very much.

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tracycakes Posted 22 Oct 2009 , 1:27pm
post #13 of 16

Sending you my most heartfelt condolences on your loss. It's just a tragedy to lose someone in such a senseless way. God bless and give you the strength you need.

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scionmom Posted 22 Oct 2009 , 1:41pm
post #14 of 16

I kno that these words are not much, but they are truly the only words that anyone can say in such a tragedy. I'm so sorry for your loss! I must agree with everyone else because of my own family history.. the cake may help you cope with your loss. That is the whole reason I started doing cakes 8 years ago, so I would be able to focus on something that would put a smile on my family and childrens faces, and not focusing on the fact that my mom wasnt going to be there. And to this day, it still does help and in fact whenever I finish a cake, I always ask Mom if she likes it. Maybe you can figure out a way to put something in it that meant something to your brother and sister... I bet that would mean alot to her!!
I will definately keep you and your family in my prayers! If you need an ear or to just vent, please feel free to PM me!!!

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jlynnw Posted 22 Oct 2009 , 1:42pm
post #15 of 16

I am sorry for your loss. May you be granted peace and love.

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stephaniescakenj Posted 22 Oct 2009 , 1:49pm
post #16 of 16

I have to agree with what everyone else is saying. over the summer I miscarried a child, 3 days before my daughter's 6th party. We had tons of people coming and at first I didn't even want to lift my head off the pillow but once I started working on all the stuff for her party, it actually took my mind off how sad and hurt both physically and emotionally I was feeling. I really needed that distraction so I hope that this project will help do the same for you, at least for a little while.
My condolences to you and your family. It's a terrible loss to face.

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